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Buffy The Vampire Slayer > BTVS - Season Two
Pinky the Vampire Slayer and the Revenge of Catherine the Great by Kirbyclause
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Angelus rolled Spike to the center of the gathering, grabbing Dru by the arm on the way. "Darla.", Angelus yelled. Darla skipped into the factory. Teresa innocently followed, but Darla made sure the younger vampire stopped in the crowd with the others. Darla continued to Spike, and plucked the cigarette out of his mouth to take a puff. "Hey there Billy boy.", she said warmly.

"Mummy!", Spike declared gladly. Druscilla put her arms around Spike defensivly. "Isn't everyone just commin' back? This'll be the good old days we talk about a hundred years from now.", the injured vampired declared. Angelus turned to the crowd, and started to pace around Dru, Spike and Darla.

"Our line runs things.", Angelus told them. "When we say jump, you jump and just hope it was high enough. You feed and walk at OUR whim. Now split." "Excuse me?", Spike interejected. Darla feilded the question, "Spike, this is going to be only our home. After all, if every vampire in Sunnydale shared the same lair, the Slayer could destroy us all in single swipe. I for one, am not inclined to make life easy for her." Spike nodded and the vampires slinkered off. Angelus rushed the crowd just as the vampires turned their backs on them.

"Not so fast you two.", Angelus said. He plucked two particular vampires from the crowd, and showed them to the rest of his family. "Damn near forgot about specs.", Spike said. Dru pulled her arms away from Spike hesitantly and walked up to Dolton. Dolton was physically shivering under her cold glare. The vampiress plucked Dolton's glasses from his face, and put them on herself. "Ooh. Death does clear the vision so.", Dru informed him after looking through his glasses. Dru shoved the glasses back on Dolton.

"Don't kill me.", Dolton begged. Angelus slapped him on the back hard. Angelus rubbed the spot he hit comfortingly,"There's no need to worry about that...". "Dolton.", the scholar supplied. "...Dolton.", Angelus repeated. "I hear you're good with books. Well, you've been ressurected by a...", he trailed off and looked to see that the only vampires in the room were Dru, Spike, Darla, Teresa, Dolton and himself.

Angelus hunched a little bit closer to him, and sped his voice up. "Oh, Dolton...you're just gonna love this.", he teased. Darla stepped toward Angelus. "Okay, he's good with books.", she said, unable to keep the implications of her evil out of her voice. "But what does the pup have to do with anything?", she asked, pointing to Teresa.

Angelus nearly glared at her, then smirked. "Okay, lecture time.", he declared, and pushed Dolton toward Spike. Dru took a seat in Spike's lap, and Darla positioned her self by the injured vampire to pay attention to Angelus. Angelus had to drag Teresa to the group. Then he began.

"Okay, I can assume that everyone here except for the girl knows that once upon a time I was cursed to have a soul. And that I have since lost that soul, and am back here. What the ones that have just risen from their ashes may not realize is that a Witch's Revenge is what recreated them.", Angelus told the group.

"An actual Witch's Revenge?", Dolton intergected. Angelus glared at him, but his curiousity had taken over. "Do we know who she is? Where she's trapped?", he continued until his common sense caught up.

"See,", Angelus stated. "That's why you're here.", he told Dolton. "I have convinced the Slayer that I just love her sooooo much that I can't let the Witch's Revenge harm her. So now her and her pets are thinking I'm back to the goody goody phase. And that's how it's going to stay until Dolton finds out where Catherine the Great is trapped."

Dolton beamed. "She must have been really powerful to have been called 'the Great'".", Dolton declared. "Actually, she was 'the Great' because she could make sure to flash everyone in the stands when she was cheeleading.", Angelus corrected. The vampires listening to him put on a face of confusion, but Angelus smiled.

"Exactly. This kind of information is vital. So here's the plan. 1)I'm going to stay acting good with Buffy until I can find where Catherine is trapped. 2)Dolton old boy is going to come up with a way to free her, quietly and subtly. 3)She's disfigured people before. She can't be that good. So we make her a vampire, she fixes up Dru's mind and Spike's body, gives me power over the Slayer...Do you see it now? Do you?", Angelus asked beamingly.

Darla sauntered up to him and beamed. "You're simply brilliant...", Darla purred. Dru put on a face of confusion. "What's wrong with my mind?", she asked. "I'll just go and ask Ms. Edith.", Dru said before leaving the room. Spike rolled up to his seniors.

"Excuse me mum.", Spike said, and Darla pulled her lips from Angelus' neck. "Okay, bring Darla back. I get that.", Spike began. "But what does the new girl have to do with anything.", he asked.

Angelus, still holding Darla in his arms, looked down upon Spike. "Well, it struck me after I got Darla back.", he began. "I knew Dolton would come back to you. And I knew how good you and Dru work together, as well as me and Darla. So I figured it would do bookman some good if he had someone to play around with."

Angelus let go of Darla and grabbed Teresa by the hair. Angelus gave his instructions coldly despite her gasps of pain. "You hear that girl. Your only job around here is to keep specs happy. He's happy, and I'm happy. He's sad, and I'll be having Teresa flavored 'I scream' for life." Angelus pushed Teresa to the floor in front of Dolton, hard enough to hit her head on the concrete.

"Maybe you should check on Dru, Spike.", Angelus suggested. "I'll just show Darla my bed.", he said. Darla hopped in his arms. "All show and no action, eh? I think that school girl has taken her toll on you after all. I'll soon fix that.", she said as Angelus carried her off. Spike also left to his room.

Dolton approached Teresa. The young vampire let out a squeak of a scream, and tried to back away. "No...", Dolton weakly protested. He spotted the cut just above Teresa's eye. The elder pulled a hankercheif from his vest, and offered it at arms length. Teresa catiously came near, and yanked the cloth from his hand.

Holding the cloth to her cut, Teresa asked her...*ahem* 'owner', "Does this kind of thing usually happen to us?". Dolton shrugged his shoulders, and squated to become less threatening. "The only things a vampire can count on is that the strongest vampire will set him or herself up as ruler, and that Slayers will try to kill you.", he replied. "The rules beyond that are pretty much 'Don't get anyone particularly angry with you'", Dolton supplied.

"How strong are you?", Teresa asked, less scared than before. "Strength isn't what I'm for.", Dolton supplied. "I translate prophecies, myths, recordings, and the like. People like to keep me as an advisor because of that." "Well, we both know my purpose.", Teresa laughed. Dolton face actually showed concern behind the ridges and fangs. "We don't have to do anything that you don't want to.", he informed her. "I'll tell them I'm happy, and they'll just extract information from me.", he said.

Teresa took Dolton's glasses and laid them to the side. Dolton gasped, surprised. "I was a student in life.", Teresa began. "Maybe I don't want to lose that. And you're a teacher. Besides, Angelus' plan doesn't allow for me to be anything else but yours.", she said. Teresa wrapped her hands into Dolton's collar, her fear totally nonexistant. "Let's see what you've learned.", she declared, and fiercely pulled him down on her.


* * *
"So then I said, 'That's not a sliver of a liver, that's a gleen on a spleen.", Chris finished. Amy, sitting across from him at a table in the Bronze, actually laughed. "Can you believe we actually find that funny?", Amy asked him. Chris nodded solemly. "People do have selected limits of what they're used to. I think people like us probably view situations that would seriously disturb others in a very casual way, in the same way a preist and a prostitute might look at the same religious situation.", he answered.

"Can I ask you something?", Chris reached out to Amy. "36 B.", she answered puffing out her chest. Chris' smile deepened, "Actually, I wanted to know if you've ever tested your powers. I mean, do you actually know if you can really take your mother on when it comes the time?"

Amy looked into her drink. "Witch craft isn't a superpower, Chris. It's more of a study. Whatever force of good in the world that made Buffy altered her to be the Slayer, I think. She can use that ability whenever she feels like it because it's hers.

"Me, I'm a witch, and a young witch at that. I'm just a conduit and controller of forces I barely understand. I learn a spell here, learn a spell there. Just something about me and mom made us especially good at it.", Amy continued. Chris' eyes looked directly into her eyes as she continued. "Mom...mom's been trapped for a year now. She's also practiced a lot longer than I have. I can nearly garuantee that I wouldn't stand a chance if Buffy and her freinds weren't helping me. But as for a final confrontation...I don't know." Amy looked back into Chris' eyes, "It's like asking if you could beat a brain surgeon in reconstructing a heart. You're both trying something new, and you might be better at life threatening stuff because of the work you did with your brother...but she still has the experience you just don't have." Amy looked down at her drink again.

"See, now I've gone and upset you.", Chris said. "No, we need to talk about this stuff.", Amy countered. "Well, I look at it in two ways. Either I just upset you so you could say you need a hug when I'm at arms length, or I should apologize by comforting you.", the boy told her. Amy arched an eyebrow at him. "You won't turn me into a frog if I asked you to dance?", Chris asked. Amy pointed a finger straight up, and a small green light started to emenate from the tip. Her eyes turned completely black, and a small smile crept over her face. The witch shook her head, and the special effects show dispersed. Amy took Chris' hand, and pulled him onto the dance floor. Chris chuckled, and Amy spun back to him.

"Don't get cocky.", Amy told him. "It's a woman's perogative to change her mind."


* * *
Willow took another detour into the Radio Shack at the mall. "I thought you said that this was all clear.", Oz told her. "Well, just look at the price on this fabulous computer.", Willow said. "I mean, all that hardware for such a low price? It has to be a spell.", she said. Oz stared at her calmly. "Well it's not like I'm the one that thought a guitar string was becomming animate and attacking me.", Willow protested. Oz held up his hand, injured with 3 cuts from the guitar string that floated in mid air. "Like I said.", Willow continued. "I'm not the one who said it, so I'm talking about this computer because I want to do...my part of patrolling.".

Oz smiled reassuringly, and walked up to the counter. "Excuse me, but is that Pentium II over there really $5?", he asked the girl behind the counter. The girl looked up at him from the Seventeen magazine she was reading, and continued to smack her gum apathetically. "Monitor, speakers, mouse, keyboard, printer, modem, 8 gig hardrive included?", Oz asked with a motion offering the oppurtunity to jump in any time. The girl took out her gum, and stuck it on the back of an elaborately painted press on fingernail. "Does it say that it's $5? If it doesn't, ask yourself 'Why are you bothering the nice girl behind the counter?'.", the girl asked sarcastically.


* * *
Cordelia's car sat on a dusty road a small drive outside Sunnydale. Voices emenated from it. "I don't think I'm ready for this." "Don't worry, it's nothing, you could just unbotton your top if you don't want to take it off." "No way." "Oh come on. For me." "I thought you actually cared about me. If you did, you wouldn't be trying to get me to do something I don't want to do." "It's not like you have to un hook your bra. And I do care about you. SO PUT OUT!"

Cordelia made another grab at Xander's buttons. "No. The shirt stays on.", he told her again keeping her hands at bay. "You're not supposed to be frightened of nudity with your girlfreind, Harris.", Cordelia told him. "I'm not frightened.", Xander protested. "Good.", Cordelia said with another attempt to pull his clothing off and an expression that could only be described as ravenously greedy. Xander squeezed himself closer to the car door. "Okay, I'm scared.", the boy admitted.

Cordelia leaned back into her seat and blew a lock of her bangs out of her eyes. "Well, at least you're one of a kind. I don't think any of the other girls are dating IMPOTENT FREAKS!" "Hey!", Xander snapped. "Maybe the only reason I'm not turned on is because the bitch of all trades is the one twisting the key!" "Well maybe I could turn that key if I could find it without a microscope.", Cordelia shot back. "Delta Burque.", Xander said. "Carrot Top.", Cordelia returned. The two took a good look at each other, and were kissing passionately with in the second. Xander paused.

"You planned that didn't you?", he asked Cordelia. The girl nodded. Xander pointed a finger in her face. "You're good."


* * *
Ms. Calander woke up to the smell of tea in Giles' office. "So you're finally awake.", Giles commented without expression. "You can leave now, before Err Snyder sees you. Hopefully Sunnydale won't destroy itself tommorrow.", he told her.

Jenny sat up. "You know, we could be doing this at your place.", she suggested. "I also could be beating myself with a shattered crystal, but you don't see me causing myself pain.", Giles retorted. "Rupert...", Ms. Calander whined. "I didn't want things to go this way. And maybe things will get better. After all, Angel hasn't killed anyone...lately."

Ms. Calander stood up. "Okay, bad arguement. But you did forgive Angel for all his killing because he felt sorry for it. Don't you think I'm sorry? Don't you..." "Good night. Ms. Calander", Giles stated. The Librarian set his full cup of tea down and walked out the Library office.


* * *
Dru lifted Spike from his wheel chair and laid him on the bed. "We have much to celebrate tonight.", Druscilla hissed at him. "Sure we do.", Spike stated passively. Dru stradled her mate, bent and licked his cheek. Spike continued. "Darla and Angelus are telling us what to do, bringing in neophytes he's sired...and look at us."

Spike lifted himself into a sitting position on an even level with Druscilla. "We had a Hellmouth, a demon, and your cure. Angelus comes home. Then we lose the demon, the Hellmouth is a non-issue, and he spends his time idling away at the Slayer instead of actually killing her." "Angel is a bad daddy?", Dru asked Spike. Spike put his arms around her. "I'm not going to say that...yet. I'm only sayin' he's got some...interesting priorities-that's all."

Spike looked into Dru's eyes. "But I look there...", he whispered. Dru giggled and blinked. Spike raised her face by her chin and looked into Dru's eyes. "Yeah, there it is. I look right there and everything seems alright." Dru purred in response.


* * *
Many people have sensitivities that would not quite cope with the...*ahem* accurate representation of Angelus' and Darla's reunion. Hence what follows is only a tour of the room after the fact.

There were a couple of torn apart crates lying about. What served as Angelus' bed leaned to one side, as two legs of it were torn off. This did not seem to bother Darla, who was now asleep on the bed-naked and in full vampiric form, absent mindedly stroking her claws over her arms in her sleep. The walls showed signs of a bear fight, claw marks deeply embeded and the occasional tooth mark. Four pairs of broken hand cuffs, casually kicked under the bed. And Angelus tearing through his wardrobe searching for a pair of leather pants that hadn't been converted to straps.

On the peaceful side-it was only an hour before he found a pair.


* * *
Buffy woke up to the smell of cappacino. Angelus sat next the bed, holding it out to her. "Thanks.", Buffy said. She shook her head, then noticed that it no longer hurt. Angelus saw her eyes brighten, "I told Giles that you would shake it off with a good rest." "How long have I been asleep?", Buffy asked him. "About 12 hours.", Angelus replied.

Angelus gave her a quick pec on the cheek and backed off. "I've laid out some of your clothes. We still have a patrol to do.", he told her. "I'll meet you outside the Bronze.", the vampire said and left. Buffy muttered to herself, "That's Angel alright. Mr. Gentleman."


* * *
Joyce Summers took in another sip of juice. She would have thought Bufy was lying to her, except Mr. Snyder had confirmed her daughter was out of town on a feild trip with Ms. Calander. Funny, she didn't remember Buffy having a computer class.

She had resigned herself to a motto, "that's what happens when you're a single mother". Buffy was always going to be into to many things for her to keep up with, and still have time to provide for her to be in those things. So she worked her brain off at her gallery. She'd bet she knew more about art than any of the proffessors her latest clientelle had. The college students, finance majors looking for a quick investment to art majors looking for advice from a vendor to that special one that just appreciated the works on display, they all reminded her a little of the daughter that was rapidly becomming a memory to her.

She took another sip of juice. "I wonder how Hank feels about his little girl.", she said to herself.


* * *
Principal Snyder was asleep, precisely on schedule. Everything with principal Snyder happened exactly on schedule. The only time he was invetive was when he was putting the little deviants he ruled back into that schedule. There was no time for love in his schedule, the time for that had past.

Did that make him bitter? Did a little thought about what it would be like to be some young vibrant girl's boyfreind creep into his head when he caught of whiff of the scent of that Summers girl? Was his simple contempt of the teen urges he was surrounded with everyday a manifestation of his own denial of desires, the same way Larry his his? Well, his schedule didn't allow time for sentimental contemplations. One would have to figure it out on there own time.


* * *
Pinky looked up to the Brain. "Yes, Pinky. What is it?", the Brain prodded. "Oh Brain.", Pinky began. "Can't you feel the thoughts of love in the air. The Brain looked up from the book he was reading. Pinky blinked at him rapidly, and smiled a small smile

The Brain immediately shut the book and left the Library, only returning after Pinky was asleep.



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