ACT II
INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
Audrey, Tucker and Liv stand over the couch where
Dawn lies unconscious. Every few seconds or so
Dawn's physical form zaps out for a second and is
replaced by a cloud of green glowing energy before
she/it zaps back to her physical form again.
AUDREY
What the hell is she?
LIV
She was an energy being that acted as an
interdimensional key to other worlds
that was given human form to protect her
from being found from a hell god.
TUCKER
Um... do you know anybody who's normal?
LIV
I know you.
TUCKER
Yeah. Not comforting.
Maya comes down the steps into the living room.
MAYA
Your mom just finished doping Spike,
Xander and Willow to the gills. I just
called the Cleveland branch and spoke to
some chippie name Rona. Looks like a
whole bunch of people up there including
Giles, Faith and Buffy are suffering
from the same memory issue.
LIV
Great. That just happens to be almost
every senior staff member on the
council.
AUDREY
(sarcasm)
Well isn't this fun? So exactly when is
the world going to end?
MAYA
Who invited smarty-pants?
AUDREY
Oh, I'm sorry? Did you not need someone
with a little magic experience? I'll
just be going.
Audrey moves as if to leave, but Liv catches her
arm.
LIV
Audrey... come on. Do you know anything
that can help us?
AUDREY
Are you familiar with Erodelbmud's
fourteenth law of transfiguration?
Everyone looks at Audrey with a confused look.
MAYA
The fourteenth law of the who with the
what?
AUDREY
Well, look who's the smarty-pants now.
LIV
Audrey...
AUDREY
It's like this, in order for a
transformation from one physical state
to another to occur, an outside catalyst
must be used to force the transformation.
Now once that change is complete, that
form must be sustained on an energy
source to remain there.
The odd squad look at Audrey in amazement.
AUDREY
What?
LIV
I... I've just never heard you say
anything that didn't involve some kind
of insult. Or smart.
AUDREY
Bite me.
LIV
Okay. I feel better now. Confused... but
better. This whole law of transmigration
just sounds weird.
TUCKER
Actually it kind of sounds like
something similar to the second energy
law in physics.
LIV
Second energy law- Ah... I get it now.
MAYA
Does somebody want to explain it to the
geek impaired?
AUDREY
Life depends on the physical world. Just
like we need food to keep our bodies
going, the spell that created Dawn is
losing steam causing her physical form
and the memory spell to dissolve into
the key being she was before.
MAYA
But according to Giles's watcher journal
the key was removed from her a long time
ago.*
*See Redmoon's "A Man with a Thousand Faces" for
details.
Liv shakes her head.
LIV
She got it back a few years ago before
Xander came back from Africa during the
Enolc Sraw-Byzantium debacle. Otherwise
Willow wouldn't have been able to use a
lock of Dawn's hair as a spell component
to imprison the Vizier.*
*(Confused? Go read the season one finale of The
Watcher. Not right now though.)
MAYA
So what do we do now? Unless you guys
have some sort of mystical jumper
cables, Dawn is just going to fade completely
and anyone affected by the original
memory spell is going to permanent la-la
land.
Liv sighs.
LIV
I hate Tuesdays. C'mon Audrey. You're a
witch. Can't you do anything to help?
AUDREY
Yeah. Let me just hop over to Hogwarts
and get my wand. It doesn't work that
way, Freakshow. Without knowing the
original spell it's kind like of like
threading a needle with a telephone
cable while blindfolded.
LIV
What about the dream guy you keep
talking about? Maybe he can tell us
something.
AUDREY
Yeah. Kind of have to be asleep for that
one. I just had a double latte. Ain't
going to happen.
LIV
Well do you have to be asleep, or can
you just be unconscious?
AUDREY
Unconscious? Well... I suppose but-
Liv sucker punches Audrey who falls to ground
unconscious.
CUT TO:
INT. IQGHIRA'S HUT
Audrey pops up into a sitting position holding her
jaw
AUDREY
Ow!
IGQHIRA
I wondered when they'd figure that out.
AUDREY
I can't believe that bitch hit me.
IGQHIRA
(sarcastic)
Yes. I can't understand what provoked
them. I assume the vessel of the
clavinger is coming undone?
AUDREY
The vessel of the what?
IGQHIRA
The key.
AUDREY
Yes. How do you-?
The igqhira sighs and points out the door of the
hut. The outside world appears to be flickering in
and out of phase in much the same manner as Dawn
was on the couch.
AUDREY
What's going on?
IGQHIRA
With degradation of the spell the key's
energies are wreaking havoc with the
dimensional barriers. Typical Europeans.
No forethought on the spells they cast.
Sooner or later it was bound to-
AUDREY
Yes. Yes. We've done the whole
"Europeans Bad" thing before. What can
we do about it?
IGQHIRA
You must get in touch with the agent of
this realm for the Powers-That-Be. He will
be able to guide you to the next step on
you and your friends' journey.
AUDREY
They are *NOT* my friends.
Igqhira rolls his eyes.
IGQHIRA
Fine. The journey of you and the many
people who pester and annoy you for no
reason. Now I better tell you where to
find him before they do serious damage
to you.
AUDREY
What damage?
INT. AUDREY'S HOUSE - Seconds later after punching
Audrey.
TUCKER
Wow. Nice punch.
LIV
Damn! That felt good!
MAYA
How long have you been wanting to do
that?
LIV
Oh... two... three years.
Audrey groans and rolls over.
MAYA
She's waking up.
LIV
Do you think she's been under long
enough?
MAYA
I'll take care of that.
Maya picks up a vase and holds it over her head.
When Maya is Just about to drop it on Audrey's
head...
LIV
(warning)
Maya! No.
Maya gives Liv a sulky look.
LIV
There's a fire poker over in the corner.
Use that.
AUDREY
(groggy)
No! Wait. I know who we need to talk to.
MAYA
Crap. I never get to have any fun.
LIV
(to Audrey)
What did you find out?
AUDREY
We need to find one of the agents
appointed to this dimension by the
powers-that-be.
LIV
Right. And just where are we going to
find one of those?
EXT. DEMON BAR
VOICE
(VO)
I didn't think they allowed kids in
here.
INT. DEMON BAR
Liv, Tucker and Maya stand in the middle of the
bar. Behind them lies a pile of demons who just
had the crap beaten out of them. Tucker can't stop
looking at the pile of demons and Liv in awe. Liv
addresses someone off screen.
LIV
We're not exactly "Kids."
ANGLE ON:
Whistler as he pours himself a drink from behind
the bar.
WHISTLER
Yeah. Kind of picked up on that. You're
here about the vessel?
MAYA
She's got a name.
WHISTLER
Yeah. I was there when they picked it
out. I personally would have gone with
Mercedes, but...
MAYA
Yeah. Loving the history lesson mister,
but we kind of have an interdimensional
crisis on our hands.
WHISTLER
Tell me about it.
LIV
Supposedly you're the guy who's got the
answers on how to fix it.
WHISTLER
Fix it? Well, I've got the juice but as
for the know how needed? See that's
where we kind of hit a gray area.
LIV
How gray?
WHISTLER
Uh. Charcoal.
MAYA
(sighs)
Oh boy.
LIV
But... you're an agent of the powers
that be.
Whistler downs a shot and exhales sharply.
WHISTLER
Yeah. Well that's more of an honorary
title really. Not a problem. We just
need to get one more person.
MAYA
Who?
Whistler grabs his hat and puts it on his head.
WHISTLER
I'll explain on the way. Walk and talk
people!
MAYA
This should be interesting.
As everyone is about to leave, Liv notices that
Tucker is still staring at the pile of beat up
demons on the floor.
LIV
Tucker?
TUCKER
Those... things... you beat up all those
things.
LIV
Yes. Those are demons and I beat them
up. Are you okay?
TUCKER
Uh. yeah. Just trying to do the whole
wrap my head around the...beating of the
things. And you're so tiny!
LIV
It's a little weird.
TUCKER
A little?
LIV
You get used to it.
TUCKER
Really?
Liv sighs.
LIV
No. Not at all.
INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
Dawn continues to zap in and out of her energy
form.
WHISTLER
I've seen worse.
MAYA
Really?
WHISTLER
Nah. I've never seen this before.
LIV
I'm underwhelmed by your lack of
knowledge.
TUCKER
So... how are we going to stop the
flicker thing?
WHISTLER
Shh. I've got to time this right.
Whistler loosens up by shaking his arm, rolling
his shoulders and then his neck; all the while
concentrating on Dawn flickering between an energy
being and her physical form.
WHISTLER
Okay... A one and a two and a-
Dawn flickers into the energy cloud just as
Whistler dives in with his hand and then yanks
back, pulling out a human form from the energy
cloud.
Tucker's eyes almost pop out of his head. He tries
to sit down on the couch but misses and ends up
hitting the ground. Liv, Maya and Audrey aren't
that impressed.
TUCKER
Holy Crap.
AUDREY
Huh.
MAYA
Why does that look familiar?
LIV
We saw something similar last week with
that Grapnar demon.
MAYA
Is that the one with the horns and the
mucus?
LIV
That was the Fyarl demon.
MAYA
Ah.
Whistler seems a little disappointed that no one
is impressed.
WHISTLER
You kids are getting jaded.
Liv shrugs.
LIV
Enh. Who's he supposed to be?
The human gets up from the floor and we now see
that he is dressed in a monk's robes.
MONK
Monstrum! Ten Monstrum ve dverich!
WHISTLER
Anybody sprechen sie Czech?
LIV
I do.
TUCKER
You do? That's-
MAYA
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. "That's incredible.
She's a genius. Blah Blah Blah."
Liv smiles and rolls her eyes at Maya.
WHISTLER
What's he saying?
LIV
He says that the beast is at the door.
WHISTLER
Perfect. Grabbed him just in time. Tell
him he's safe, but we need his
assistance
As Liv goes to talk to the man in Czech...
AUDREY
What is he and why is he dressed in
burlap?
WHISTLER
He's one of the monks who performed the
original spell that bonded the key to
her physical form.
TUCKER
And you just...
WHISTLER
Ripped him out of time and space to
bring him here.
MAYA
Isn't that dangerous?
WHISTLER
While he was either going to die a
horrific death there or he *might* die
here when the whole dimensional key
warps out of control. I figured he
wouldn't mind a fighting chance.
TUCKER
Oh. Okay. Um... I think I'll just sit
here for a bit if you don't mind and
keep my head from exploding.
MAYA
Poor Tucker. This hasn't been a good day
for you.
Liv ends her conversation with the Monk.
LIV
Um.. Reggie here wants assurances that
the beast won't be coming after him.
WHISTLER
Reggie? That's his name?
Liv shrugs.
LIV
I don't know. He just looks like a
Reggie.
WHISTLER
Tell him that he's been ripped through
time and space and the beast is no
longer a threat and that we need to
reestablish the key with the vessel
pronto tonto.
LIV
Mate byl thrat se az do cas kdyby doba.
Ten monstrum je jez ne dele tyz hrozba.
My muset vas prispet pro vyreseni
problemu pres klec... uh... pronto tonto
The monk shrugs.
MONK
Dobra. Proc nezkusit.
From outside there is a strange noise but only
Tucker hears it.
WHISTLER
Wonderful. Let's get some mojo working.
Tucker looks out the window and gawks at what he
sees.
AUDREY
Can we make him change first? I mean
that outfit...
MAYA
He's a monk, Audrey.
AUDREY
That's no excuse for wearing burlap.
TUCKER
Uh... Guys?
LIV
Audrey, just go downstairs and show
Reggie what we have spell-wise. I'll be
down to translate in a minute.
TUCKER
Guys? I think we have a problem.
Liv and Maya walk over to the window.
MAYA
Now what?
Liv and Maya look out the window and sigh.
MAYA
Now *that* you really don't see
everyday.
EXT. FONTAINE HOUSE
Out on the front lawn are about twenty men.
Dressed in armor and carrying swords, battle axes
and other sorts of siege equipment.
KNIGHT OFFICER
Attention members of the Watcher's
Council! Our trust in your handling of
the Key has been tested for the last
time! Throw down your defenses and
return to us the key! You have one hour
to comply!
INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
Liv sighs heavily.
LIV
Man... As if the neighbors didn't think
we were weird enough already.
END ACT II
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