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Buffy The Vampire Slayer > BTVS - Season Two
Pinky the Vampire Slayer and the Revenge of Catherine the Great by Kirbyclause
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"Try...to...keep...it...qui...et...er. I...have...a...headache.", Angelus heard Buffy say. The majority of the vampires rushed up to meet him, intent on the Annointed's order. But Angelus wasn't called the right fang of the devil for nothing.

Vampires were unceremoniously, chaotically, and apathetically shoved out of Angelus' way. He came up to the one vampire he was interested in. "Come on.", Angelus instructed Darla forcefully.

"The Annointed ordered ugnh...", Darla moaned, as she hit the ground. Angelus hoisted the vampire he had just knocked out over his shoulder and turned to the rest. "You know, I'm in the market for a good nut kicking, I really am. Unfortunately it's out of season at the moment.", he taunted. They charged the vampire they thought of as Angel.

Angelus turned and ran down an adjacent corridor just as Amy had convinced/manipulated Buffy to turn down theirs. The vampires ran after him and his mate, and Angelus was losing ground fast carrying his package. Angelus took a jar from his jacket, and smashed it on a wall as he passed. The holy water in it splattered on the most immediate vampires following him, effectively ending their chase by causing a traffic jam.

Angelus found the ladder he remembered passing on the way to the Moseleum. Quickly, he hoisted himself and Darla up, and into the basement it led to. Angelus slammed the metal cover over the hole he had come up. The vampire looked around, viewing several coffin making materials and a sign reading "We welcome the dead of all faiths.". "I have faith in the fact that I look good.", Angelus answered the uneeded invitation.

Just as the fire from the bomb spread through the tunnels, Darla began to wake up. Angelus knelt down beside her and slapped her about half as hard as he could, and nearly knocked her out again. "What's happening? I can't hear the Annointed any more.", she said.

"Listen up, baby.", Angelus told her. "I'm back." Darla's eyes snapped open. "Really? Is the Slayer dead?", Darla asked. Angelus' eyes shifted from side to side, "Well, not exactly dead, but I'm having a whole lot of fun with the situation. The old stalk some, maim some, kill a freind everyday some...", he answered.

"Oh, Angelus.", Darla said softly while sitting up. "Don't you remember Druscilla?', she commented while carresing his face. "Funny you should say. The family is here on Hellmouth now. We're running things now.", Angelus told her. Darla's smile lit up. "Now stay put. I'll come for you after sunset. I just have to do some things right now, or the big plan we're running won't go over. And what fun will we have if there aren't any bodies to be wrestled over?', Angelus instructed. "Angelus...", Darla said warningly. "Trust me.", Angelus said. "Have I ever done anything to hurt a lady...well, you in particular...um, you know what I mean."

Angelus felt the trap door he had just come up. Although it was still warm, he could tell the fire had dissipated. He climbed into the hole, and blew a kiss to Darla half way down. After splashing onto the floor of the sewer tunnel, he was jumped on by a vampire.

Angelus pealed the monster off him, and held her out at arms length. "Sire, I've finally found you!", Teresa squeeled with delight. "As soon as I became again, I just knew I had to find you." Angelus stared her down coldly. "Well, you would be drawn to your sire.", he agreed. Then an idea struck him.

"Climb this ladder, but don't leave the room you'll be in.", Angelus ordered. "My consort is there, wait with her for me. I will return in a while.", he told her. Teresa rushed to do as he said, and even had a slight giggle to her expression. Angelus started the journey to Angel's apartment as Teresa closed the trap door.

This was adding up nicely for Angelus. He had heard that Buffy still wanted to save him, just that witch had put a mild spell on her. The vampire could manipulate it so that he was her only influence for a few more days with this Witch's Revenge in effect. His consort and a servant had returned to him. Spike and finally saw his brilliance with his games with Buffy. Angelus could turn this into a very nice situation. The only situation he found nice. Total control.


* * *
"Buffy, maybe we shouldn't be here.", Giles stated. Buffy had dragged everyone who was at the Moseleum to Angel's apartment, and the group stood outside its door. "I realize that such an emotional person as yourself could use closure, Slayer...", the Brain began. "But I ask you to realize that there are more pressing things than mourning the vampire at this critical time."

Buffy leaned on the stairs' railing heavily. "Yeah, yeah, I know.", she stated. "Cookies." "What's with the cookies thing? I mean, I like a few now and again but this is beyond midnight cravings.", Xander said. Amy hesitantly raised her hand, then dropped it. Fortunately, Angelus openned the door to the aparment just then.

"Angel", the injured Slayer squeaked. Buffy staggered into Angelus' arms. "Got any cookies?", she asked him. "I can give you some sugar baby.", Angelus said. The vampire walked the girl to his arm chair, and handed her a sugar cookie. Buffy nibbled intently, and Angelus smiled (although it turned more like a smirk).

Angelus turned to the open door. "You people aren't vampires, why are you waiting for an invitation?", he called out to Buffy's freinds. Giles catiously walked Ms. Calander over the threshold. "Don't worry Watcher, I turned off the "Flaming Hell Fire Jets" when I knew you were comming.", Angelus said jovially. Giles tried to smile, "Ah, a joke." "Maybe.", Angelus said in a deadly voice. Giles gasped.

Angelus walked up to the Watcher, glaring bruatally at him. When the vampire reached him, he struck...Giles' arm in a casual manner. "Come on, I got Chinese.", the vampire offered in a nearly freindly way. Amy grabbed Chris' arm and came into the apartment. "Milady.", Xander bowed deeply to Willow. Willow returned a curtsy, "Milord." They tangoed their way into the apartment. The Brain rolled his eyes and followed Pinky in, the Mouse Vampire Slayer shutting the door afterwards.

"There's not much to sit on, but it's not like I have a table big enough anyway.", Angelus told them as he started handing them bags. "Just take off your shoes and..." Angelus trailed off when Xander tore open a carton and poured fried rice into his mouth. "You'll have to excuse him,", Willow supplied. "He hasn't eaten in the past 2 hours."

Angelus laughed in the same manner they were accostumed to Angel smirking. "Yeah, hunger can drive a guy nuts. Believe me, I know." Only then did anyone notice that there was actually a popular music radio station on, blaring the kind of music that only a teenager could listen to over and over and over again. Giles twitched. "Don't look at me,", Angelus offered. "The Spice Girls are English."

"You must be quite the man Rupert.", Ms. Calander told him. "Millionaire whores travel across the Atlantic just to chase a librarian.", she joked. Giles stammered slightly and smiled back. Willow was dabbing a napkin at Xander, trying to keep the sauce from the egg fu yung from setting into his shirt, yet Xander still didn't stop scarfing down food. The Brain seemed to be even more occupied at attempting to keep Pinky from climbing into one of the food cartons. Amy and Chris had retired to one corner of the floor, and only stared at each other while attempting to look like they had manners while eating Chinese food with their fingers until the attempt in itself got them laughing. And behind the killer smile, Angelus saw it all comming together. 3...2...1...

Buffy moaned. The vampire was at her side before anyone could even move. The Slayer laid back in the arm chair groggily. "Maybe we should go.", Willow offered. "Yes, that would be best.", Angelus replied. "Don't worry, I'll put her to bed so she can rest up. She's the Slayer, she'll shake this off with a good rest." Giles nodded his head in agreement. Buffy shifted and moaned again, feeling the effects of the cookie's active ingredient. Ms. Calander moved to pick up the cartons. Angelus waved at her, signalling to simply leave and that he would take care of it later.

After everyone had left, Angelus turned up the music even more. "Buffy? Buffy?", the vampire prodded her with a few light taps on her face. "Uh, what's going...on?", she asked him. "Your concussion is acting up again.", Angelus said sweetly. "What do you remember?", he asked. Buffy looked at him exactly the way she had when he was still Angel. "I remember comming here with an urge for a cookie, then you taking me in.", she replied. "I must have dozed off, but something told me to wake up. I can't believe how that I'm not sleeping, especially since I'm so so SO tired.", Buffy lamented.

Angelus smoothly continued the conversation he began back when he coated the cookie with a plant secretion known to act as stimulant. "Maybe...", he began. Buffy looked at him intently, eyes squinted slightly at the pain in her head. "Maybe you need to do something before you can sleep. Maybe that's something is that you want..." "to kiss you.", Buffy finished for him. The two leaned closer together. "Angel, the ringing in my head...", Buffy began a slight protest. "Shhh...", Angelus breathed. "Your head is fine, it just is gonna take a little time.", he countered. Their heads moved closer together. Angelus kissed her. The Slayer fell asleep, her body finally overriding the drug.


* * *
"So that's what he told you?", Darla asked Teresa. Teresa kneeled before her. "Yes, mistress.", the younger vampire told her. "Don't call me 'Mistress'.", Darla told her. "Can't think of anyone in my line who likes that, not even Billy." Teresa moved to get up, but Darla pushed her back down with a foot. "The kneeling thing...that I could get used to."

Darla sat in a lotus position in front of the kneeling Teresa. "It looks like we have some time before my dark knight comes for us.", Darla declared. "You play 'patty cake'?"

Teresa arched an eyebrow at her grand sire.


* * *
Oz entered the Library smoothly. Willow was asleep on top of the computer. Oz snooped around. Giles was in the office asleep at his desk, Ms. Calander was sleeping with her arm curled over him. Cordelia and Xander were curled up behind the Library counter. He nearly set his book bag down on Pinky, who was snoring a series of "narf"s and "troz"es. Chris and Amy were fast asleep with their backs leaning to each other in the stacks. He finally found the Brain awake.

"You've been asleep all day?", Oz asked the mouse. The Brain arched an eyebrow at him. "No, we've blown up a horde of ressurected vampires before Angel treated us to Oreintal delicacies.", the mouse answered. "Yeah, you're funny.", Oz replied. "Is Willow up to patrolling?", the boy asked the Watcher. The Brain looked at the girl. "I suppose so, just don't get too physical early on or you'll tire her out."


* * *
No, this part isn't about Oz tiring Willow out! Nor is it about Darla and Teresa doing something besides playing patty cake. Where do you think you are, the Naked Place?! Anyway...

Angelus was on the move. It was just after sunset, just enough sunlight left to leave a humming in his ears. In tow, one Darla (his sire) and one Teresa (who he had sired). By the time he got to the factory, he could smell the ressurected vampires loyal to Spike. And one other. "Wait here.", he instructed his kind. Both pouted. Teresa found herself jealous of the skill with which Darla pouted, and put out her lip. Darla decided to put Teresa in her place, and put her hand on her hip to increase her pout. The two continued to one up the other while Angelus slipped inside the factory.

A circle of vampires were gathered. They surrounded Spike in his wheel chair and the vampire that had told the Annointed it was at the crucifiction. "I should be leading.", Mr. Cricificition called out. Dru whimpered at the edge of the circle, while Spike glared at him coldly.

"An invalid cannot lead as the Master did.", Mr. Crucifiction told Spike. "I can.", he stated. "Well, look at Mr. Fancy Pants", Angelus called out. The circle broke a whole large enough for him to enter the center. Angelus sauntered up to Mr. Cricifiction's face, and left his human visage at the door.

"You can lead but two things.", Angelus spat at the would be leader. "Jack and Shit.", Angelus dropped his leather trench to the ground and leered at Mr. Cricifiction. "Jack just left town." "This punk is mine, Angelus.", Spike said clearly. A hush came over the crowd of vampires. Angelus turned slowly.

Angelus grabbed Mr. Cricifiction by the ear, and held him in one fixed spot. "You want him Spike?", Angelus asked. Angelus set Mr. Crucifiction back to his own devices. "Take him.", and with that Angelus stepped back out of the ring.

"Where's your fangs, Broken One?", Mr. Cricifiction teased. "Don't need 'em, lessen you've taken a self defense class since the last time I wiped your ugly misbegotten mug on this very floor.", Spike answered back cooly. The standing vampire roared, and proceeded to go through a very complex display of martial arts form. The crowd of vampires let their awe show.

Spike clapped sarcastically. Dru made a move to enter the ring, but Angelus grabbed her arm. "You can't go in unless he tags you first.", Angelus said catiously. Spike spun his chair in a circle. He ran his chair forward a few paces, then popped a wheelie. "Hoo! Ha! Hiya!", the vampire yelled as he bounced from one wheel to the other. The vampires of the circle started laughing.

"Hey, that was taught to me by the great Master of Shoalin Wheel-chair drunken monkey Kung fu-so why is everbody bloody laughin'?", Spike asked the circle. The vampires abruptly stopped and looked at him catiously. "After all,", Spike continued. "you could learn it too for a mere 3 easy payments of 19.95, just like it said on that there info-mercial." The vampires started laughing again.

Thouroughly embarrased, Mr. Cricifiction rushed Spike. Spike pushed his foot rests into his opponents chest, and flipped the vampire over. Spike grabbed his wheels and pulled himself up quickly. Spike was spinning the chair before the other vampire could even get up, and swung the foot rests into Mr. Crucifiction's face. Mr. Cricifiction rolled over, and Spike ran his chair over the vampire.

Mr. Crucifiction groggily tried to push himself off the ground, but Spike rolled up to him and grabbed him by the back of his hair. "On second thoughts, maybe I shouldn't kill you. After all, a pansy like you might have fun playing with Dru's dolls." Dru whimpered from the sidelines. "Yeah, you're right baby.", Spike told her.

Spike rolled his chair, with Mr. Cricifiction on board, as fast as he could. When he got to a bunch of broken boxes, he staked the vampire on one of the edges. "Your first impulse is always your best one.", Spike stated, lighting up a cigarette.



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