Willow and Giles had arrived nearly silmultaneously in the school parking lot, but Willow had made it to the Library nearly five minutes earlier. She didn't have a car that jumped like a Mexican jumping bean because it obviously didn't like American parking spaces.
"Willow.", Giles called from his office. "Hmph?", Willow asked around five donut holes she had attempted to force in her mouth. Completly calm, the librarian told her, "Willow, things may appear normal now, but at any moment the Witches Revenge could start. And it will be this morning. So any, and I mean any, thing tha-that is unusual should be brought to my attention immediately. We don't want any spells unwarrantly/"
"Mfgh!", Willow cut him off with a sound impeded by attempting to swallow the donut holes, and pointing to the library entrance.
"Unwarranted spells?", Owen asked. "Auhm, yes.", Giles began. "It's a new paperback by auhm...Catherine The....Theigreats, Catherine Theigreats. Very entertaining." "Can I get a copy?", Owen asked him. "Auhm, I just lent it out to another student.", the librarian countered. "But I'm the only student here at this hour, and I'm the only student that has checked out a book in the past month." "Well, things are getting very weird around here right now.", Giles explained.
"That's why we want you to tell us about anything weird, Owen.", Willow said, now fully recovered from mimicing Xander. "Oh. You mean like a dead guy rising of an autopsy table and knocking me out but 5' tall Buffy scaring him away." "Errr....yeah.", Willow supposed.
* * *
"I thought that last patrol went well.", Angelus said to Buffy. The two were now in his apartment, 'home' from a practice patrol before the Witches Revenge kicked in. "I think so.", Buffy agreed. "Then can you take off the hand cuffs?", Angelus asked holding up his wrists.
"Um, let me think about it. You're a vampire that wants to drive me insane or kill me, whichever is the most fun. I don't think so.", Buffy denied. "I thought you might say that.", Angelus said. Then he twisted his wrists and the chain between the cuffs snapped.
"What I don't get...", Angelus began while squeezing on one lock mechanism, "...is why you act like you're the only one I've done this too." A snap and the cuff fell to the floor. "I mean, seriously, before you stole my soul..."
"I stole?!", Buffy asked incredulously. "Well, you didn't see me hanging around Gyspy Girl. So I wonder...did little Buffy-wuffy not like that she was slutty enough to kiss a corpse? Did she want to not blame herself for doing what she was going to do all along-try to kill me?" Buffy's eyes widened with shock.
"But as I was saying, before my soul was...appropriated by a certain teenaged ruffian who we won't name at the moment-you knew about Druscilla. You knew I was originally cursed for doing the same with a gypsy girl. Your watcher had volumes of my exploits (I particularly like the account that Father Lumenara wrote of this time I bathed with one girl in boiling oil). Yet you think that you're some how special."
"Buffy, you're just another whore I'm toying with. Your only difference is that you're mite bit dumber and try to make up with it by being violent." The other cuff fell to the ground. "I think this Witches Revenge was a good thing for you, you wouldn't have lasted a month under my thumb." Angelus walked over to the bed. "Nighty nite.", the vampire called sweetly.
* * *
Two minutes after Owen had left, one Larry had entered the Library. "Giles!", Willow called into the librarian's office, but Giles was completly absorbed in a book. "Hi Willow.", Larry said pleasantly. "Uh, hi?", Willow asked hesitantly, aware of both the apparent recent change in Larry's attitude to females and...well, his previous one. "You wouldn't happen to know where I could get a book on gay rights, would you?", he asked the hesitant hacker.
"Why?", Willow asked. "Xander didn't tell you?", Larry countered. "Tell me what?", Willow countered. "But I thought you were best freinds, that he told you everything.", Larry stated confusedly. "He does.", Willow replied. "So he did.", Larry ascertained. "I suppose so.", Willow said trying to be helpful. "So where would the book be?", Larry said returning to the original question.
"Three stacks back, I think. Social Studies.", Willow answered. Larry walked to the stack muttering, "She is the strangest girl.". But when Larry turned around the stack, it was not a book on gay rights he found.
"Can't you tell I'm feinting?", the Brain asked Pinky the Vampire Slayer. "No, but I can tell when you have a head ache and don't want to play with me.", Pinky replied, dodging yet another blow that did not come. "Pinky", the Brain began. "How are you going to defeat vampires if you can't tell whether a blow is coming or not." Larry darted for the exit.
"Did you find it?", Willow asked. "No, but I don't need it that bad.", Larry replied before he ran out into the hall.
Larry ran straight into Principal Snyder. "It was you wasn't it, Jock Face.", Snyder snapped at Larry. "Me? What?", Larry asked. "Some one was impersonating me yesterday. I know your type. It was probably you, wasn't it?!", Snyder replied quickly. "My type?", Larry asked. "Yeah, your type. Isn't that what you type does? Pull pranks like that?", Snyder asked harshly. "Uh, I gotta go get a book.", Larry said.
"What are you doing back so soon?", Willow asked Larry when she saw him again. "I need that book on gay rights more than I thought.", he replied.
Out in the hall, Snyder muttered. "Jocks. Think because they're on the football team they can pull stupid pranks and not get caught. Lucky he's a good player."
* * *
"Hold the bag still.", Xander told Oz, as he kicked the punching bag again. "Hey, I'm not the one with the military memories.", Oz countered, more sweat pouring down his gym shirt than Xander's. "You know what I need, Teen Wolf?", Xander asked his best freinds boyfreind. "To stop calling me that?", Oz suggested. "No. I need to get a book on self defense.", Xander told him.
* * *
At that very moment, Cordelia ran into the people that had switched from being 'Cordelia's Entourage' to 'Harmony's Harlets'. Cordelia walked right up to Harmony.
"So now Ms. 'I date the dopey out of pity' wants to come back into the fold.", Harmony teased. "Out of my way, sheep girl.", Cordelia demanded with a slight push. "I need to get a book.", Cordy said while stalking off to the library.
"Say...", all the girls behind Harmony said silmultaneously. "A book doesn't sound all that bad." Immediatly they all went to the Library.
* * *
In Angel's apartment, Buffy stared at Angelus' sleeping form speechless, still frozen in shock from his words. As soon as she could bring herself to move she rushed hi...his book shelf. "A good book'll take my mind off him.", the Slayer told herself.
* * *
Back in the Library, Willow was getting swamped playing Librarian. The room was louder than it had been when the vampires had attacked last. And Giles was still in his office, intently reading a book he must have read a thousand times.
"Where's sports?!", Blaine demanded. "Look Willow, I need a book on hair care, and I need it now.", Cordelia told her plainly. "That goes doubly for us.", the chipper girls said. "Got any Kirk Cobain in here?", Devon asked. Sunnydale High's local swat team of bullies wandered aimlessly, trying to remember how a book worked.
"What's going on in here?", Principal Snyder demanded walking into the Library. "Why isn't Mr. Giles out here helping anyone? Why did Ms. Calander all of a sudden announce a 'feild trip' for Buffy and Amy? Where is...a book on human resources, Willow?"
* * *
Back at the factory, Spike kissed Druscilla deeply as she sat on his lap. After a few minutes she went stiff. "What is it,baby?", Spike asked. "Spiiiike.", Dru pleaded. "Yeah, Dru?", Spike prodded. "Do we have any Dr. Suess around here?"
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