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Buffy The Vampire Slayer > BTVS - Season One
Pinky the Vampire Slayer by Kirbyclause
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Pinky pulled himself from the floor to a standing position. Behind him were not only his Watcher, the Brain, but those who served with the human Slayer Buffy. Before him, was the last of the vampire rat horde. A diabolically genius hamster. His name is Snowball.

"A woman's work is never done.", Pinky said while taking a step toward the platform Snowball was on. "That's just it!", cried Snowball. "You aren't female! You can not be the Slayer!". "What can I say, it's the '90s.", quipped Buffy. "Don't forget the endangered species act of '78.", Willow sarcastically pleaded. "And Pinky's the species that's doin' some endangerin'.", Xander followed. Giles turned to Angel. "Do not even think of strectching that joke any longer.", he told the vampire. "Those were jokes?", Angel asked surprised.

The Brain walked up to Pinky's side. "Pinky,", the Brain began. "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?", the elder mouse asked. "I'm pondering that I'm gonna whup somebody's ass.", stated the younger mouse. The two mice strode confidently toward the platform. But Snowball had other ideas.

"Fool Brain.", the hamster declared. "Fool on you. I will still open the Hellmouth, and you will allow my escape by attempting to stop me!" Snowball hit a button on one of the devices on the platform with him, and took off running for the nearest manhole cover. Pinky was after him in a flash, but Snowball made it there and dropped through one of the holes.

"Never mind him Pinky!", the Brain yelled. "He's right, we have to stop the Hellmouth from openning! Get to the platform." The two mice converged on the spot, and the Brain cast his nearly omniscent (when it comes to crazy plans to take over the world) gaze over the controls to the machines. "Pinky, first I want you to over throw the reversed hysenberg graviton couplings, then/"

Pinky cut him off in mid technobabble. "Brain, look at the numbers." The Brain's face conveyed a bit of annoyance yet a bit of conseccion as he turned to the readout indicated. There were a set of mechanical flippers, each marked with a digit, designed to flip over to show the time. They weren't moving. "It must be a very extended countdown.", the Brain supposed. Xander spied something.

Xander looked carefully at the platform that the two mice were standing on, and noticed a cord protruding from it. He followed it to it's end near a wall socket. The boy bent down and picked up the plug. "The hamster forgot to plug it in.", Xander surmized in amazement.

"It seems you can resolve this without me. And it is nearly morning. You know where to find me if you have anything interesting.", Angel told the group. Buffy turned. "Wait", she said. But she said it to the typical empty space that Angel had a tendency to turn into.

"I have never come into contact with vampire mice.", Giles said. "And since you two were successful in keeping the Hellmouth closed, I suppose we owe you a debt of gratitude, Pinky, Brain."

"And I know just how you could repay us.", the Brain declared instantly. "You have a very subtle position here, and tactically positioned over the Hellmouth. If you..." "Don't you think it's a tad late to start your plan now Brain?", Pinky cut in. "I suppose you're right Pinky.", the Brain conceded. "Come, we must return to the lab, and plan for tomorrow night!", the mouse Watcher told his charge.

"Gee Brain, what are you gonna do tomorrow night?", Buffy and her Slayerettes asked. "The same thing we do every night, try...", just then what he was going to say and the consequences of telling Buffy sank in. "Try to fight the demons, the vampires, and the forces of darkness.", the Brain concluded.

"Oh,", sighed Buffy. "I thought you were going to take over the world or something. I mean, you are a genetically engineered super genius of a non dominant species.", she told the mouse. Brain scoffed, "Ha! That only goes to show how prejudiced you are toward other species. I would never try to take over the world."

"But Brain," Pinky began. "What about the time you made a giant clothes dryer that would have created enough static cling...umph.", Pinky was cut off by Brain wrapping his fist around the newly found Slayer's snout. "I have a lot of socks.", the Brain replied simply.


* * *
Pinky and the Brain continued to try to take over the world. But they knew why they kept trying to create a world for the ulimate little guy (mice). They had a fate to defeat all that was evil. They had to create justice by day, and safety for all by night. And the occasional practice session with Pinky seemed to calm Brain down, resulting in fewer nervous breackdowns from frustration at the inability to rule the world by mass producing scalloped onions.

For every generation, there is one mouse, a chosen mouse. A mouse born with the strength and skill to fight the demons, the vampyrs and the forces of darkness. He is Pinky, the Vampire Slayer.



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