ACT III
INT. GITTLESON FUNERAL HOME - ENTRANCE
Giles, Xander and Kennedy quietly enter the room.
KENNEDY
So what's the deal with this guy?
XANDER
Well back in the day, the man had a
thing for chopping up dead girls.
Kennedy makes a face.
GILES
Well technically it wasn't for him, but
for his best friend's dead brother.
Wait. Was he really dead or...?
XANDER
Let's just say the guy had his
Frankenstein freak on.
KENNEDY
What is it with the hellmouth and the
living dead?
EXT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY
Susan and Liv are taking on a couple of vampires.
Liv takes two blows to the head ducks, sweeps her
leg knocking the vamp to the ground.
Susan does a fancy high flying kick which the
vampire rolls out of the way from. Susan lands on
the ground and the vampire jumps on top of her.
Liv's vampire pops up from the ground and charges
at Liv. Liv pulls her stake out, blocks a circle
kick and stakes the vamp... blowing dust
everywhere.
Susan throws her vampire off and jumps up only to
take two hits to the head and a kick to the
mid-section. Susan falls to the ground and just as
the vamp is about to attack he explodes into dust
revealing Liv who had just stabbed him from
behind.
Susan glares at Liv. She gets up; dusts herself
off and walks away. Liv walks along with her.
LIV
You're welcome.
SUSAN
I had him under control.
LIV
Whatever.
SUSAN
Look little miss chosen... I don't need
your help.
LIV
What's that supposed to mean?
SUSAN
Nothing.
LIV
Fine.
SUSAN
Great.
LIV
Look! What exactly is your problem?
We're supposed to be on the same team
here!
SUSAN
My problem is that until that Ibonek guy
came around we were just a bunch of
girls with super-powers. Then when
tweed-man deciphered all these stupid
prophecies, everyone started talking
about the little slayer that could out
of New Hampshire. Now we found out the
next slayer who was supposed to be
chosen after is just a dweeb who keeps
screwing up.
LIV
What?!
SUSAN
You call yourself one of the chosen?
You've screwed up more today than any
slayer alive. If you're the one that is
destined to save the world, then color
me doomed.
LIV
Okay... A: Never called myself one of
the "chosen". That title was thrust upon
me. B: There's a big difference between
throwing a stake at a target and taking
down a vamp trying to kill you or your
friends and finally...
Liv trails off.
SUSAN
What?
LIV
Trouble.
Susan turns around and sees about a dozen Ygoop
demons coming towards them.
SUSAN
Holy crap, those are some ugly looking
demons.
LIV
Ygoop demons. Nasty ones too.
SUSAN
Okay Smarty-pants. How do we kill these
suckers?
Liv gives her a grim smile and pulls her battle
axe off her back.
LIV
Hack 'em to tiny bits.
Susan pulls out her sword and smiles.
SUSAN
My kind of monster.
INT. GITTLESON FUNERAL HOME - OFFICE
Eric Gittleson, older with a receding hairline
now, is going over some paperwork on his desk when
he looks up to see Kennedy standing in front of
his desk.
ERIC
Can I help you?
KENNEDY
You Eric Gittleson?
ERIC
Yes.
KENNEDY
I need to arrange a funeral.
Eric reaches for the phone.
ERIC
The front office can help you with that.
Let me get some-
Kennedy smacks the phone across the room.
KENNEDY
Actually I was thinking of your funeral.
Xander and Giles walk slowly into the room
GILES
Hello Eric.
XANDER
Been hacking up any dead bodies to
experiment on lately?
Eric's eyes get wider.
ERIC
Uh...
KENNEDY
Now Xander, you know he doesn't do that
anymore.
ERIC
Right! I don't do that anymore.
XANDER
No you just sell the bodies of the
dearly departed to the local demon
population so they can raise up their
own zombie army and threaten all
existence.
ERIC
I... I don't know anything about that.
XANDER
Liar.
Xander leans forward into Eric's face.
XANDER
You see I know it's...
Xander stops and tilts his head. Kennedy and Giles
exchange a look.
GILES
Xander?
XANDER
...a trap.
KENNEDY
What?
XANDER
Run!
Eric's body shimmers and reforms into that of the
Vizier.
VIZIER
Too late.
The vizier gestures and shoots out beams of energy
at our beloved heroes, knocking them unconscious.
Two Ypoog demons appear at the door.
VIZIER
Take the two men. Leave the girl.
INT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY
Liz is talking on her cell. Susan is covered in
demon goo and somewhat angry. Liz is relatively
clean.
SUSAN
You didn't tell me about the exploding
demon entrails!!
LIV
Sorry. Squirrel to Frostbite Falls. You
listening?
MAYA
(filtered)
Hear ya' loud and clear good buddy.
What's the sitch?
LIV
We just ran into about a dozen Ygoop
demons.
INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - KITCHEN
Maya is in front of the laptop listening to the
radio.
ANDREW
Ygoop demons? They don't usually reside
in this dimension, let alone hunt in
packs.
MAYA
Liv, we haven't seen those things around
here in a long time.
LIV
(filtered)
Not since Ms. Rosenberg blasted the
Vizier into a hell dimension.
MAYA
You mean...
LIV
(filtered)
It's possible.
KENNEDY
(filtered)
Would this Vizier-thing be a crusty
looking guy with magical powers who
likes to initiate the smackdown without
warning?
MAYA
Uh... sounds like him why?
INT. GITTLESON FUNERAL HOME - OFFICE
Kennedy sits on the floor licking her wounds.
KENNEDY
Sucker just blasted me and kidnapped
Giles and Xander. Can you check their
GPS signal?
MAYA
(filtered)
I've got 'em. There hidden in a cave in
Beggar's canyon.
KENNEDY
That's where we're going. Push out the
maps to the PDA'S and we'll meet there.
EXT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY
Liv is shaking her head.
LIV
No.
Susan rolls her eyes at Liv.
KENNEDY
(filtered)
Beg pardon?
LIV
Beggar's canyon only has one entrance to
the cave. It's a trap. Plus the Vizier
knows about the GPS sensors we all
carry. He's either planted them or has a
spell interfering with it.
KENNEDY
(filtered)
Kid, let me tell you something: it's
always a trap. Now march your bony butt
to the meeting point.
Liv shakes her head and tosses the PDA to Susan.
LIV
Here you go. Watch your back.
Liv starts marching off. Susan checks the PDA and
points in the other direction.
SUSAN
But... the canyon is in the other
direction.
LIV
They aren't there. It's a trap. I know
where the Vizier is and I'm going to
stop him. Go ahead and play sister
soldier all you want, but I've got
better things to do.
Liv breaks out into a run. Susan shakes her head.
SUSAN
You're going to regret this!
INT. VIZIER'S SANCTUM
Giles and Xander hover in the air as the Vizier
cackles gleefully at them.
VIZIER
Well, well, well. Two watchers at my
disposal. How shall I torture and maim
them?
XANDER
How about endlessly prattling on about
how you're going to kill us? 'Cuz that's
doing a pretty good job at annoying the
hell out of me.
The Vizier blasts Xander and Giles with some
magical lightning. Both scream in pain.
GILES
So... this... is the Vizier you
mentioned in your reports.
XANDER
That'd be the one.
GILES
I thought he'd be taller.
XANDER
So what's the game plan Vizzy? Send the
Slayer's on a false lead and into a
trap? Because you know that never works.
VIZIER
Oh you think so? Because my Ygoop demons
are battling your little girls as we
speak and when the Kosoko gets there
they'll be dog meat.
XANDER
It's never going to work.
VIZIER
Oh really?
Vizier blasts Giles and Xander again.
VIZIER
Seems to be working pretty well to me.
Don't you get it Watcher? Me and Nuggano
have been planning your downfall ever
since I got sent to his hell dimension
by that little witch of yours. For over
900 years I was stuck there waiting for
the proper moment to split through the
barrier that keeps our worlds separate.
It was then a simple plan to start
picking off the members of your group
one by one. Soon your slayers will be
dead, and right after Nuggano has
finished his purification ceremony, you
will be his first sac- ack.
The Vizier's eyes bug out.
VIZIER
Ack.
Giles looks over at Xander.
GILES
What's wrong with-
The Vizier falls over. A battle axe is lodged in
his back. Liv stands over the Vizier's body where
she hacked him from behind.
GILES
Oh. Never mind.
LIZ
That guy always did enjoy the sound of
his voice.
Xander and Giles fall to the ground.
XANDER
Ow!
Giles groans and rubs his back.
GILES
Well, I guess the spell that was holding
us has lifted.
XANDER
Glad to see that the British in you
still speaks the obvious.
LIV
You two okay?
GILES
Yes. Where are the others?
Liv gives Xander her hand to help him up.
LIV
Beggar's Canyon. Only thing is-
Xander grabs hold of Liv's hand and all the color
drains from his face.
XANDER
(quietly)
It's a trap.
LIV
That's what I tried to tell them.
VOICE
(OS) No dear.
Giles and Liv turn to see who is speaking. Xander
doesn't bother.
Amy stands at the entrance of the sanctum.
AMY
He was talking about me... and a former
student of his.
The izithunzela formerly known as Lateesha steps
forward. Xander hangs his head in sorrow.
AMY
This is the trap.
XANDER
Oh god. Lateesha.
END ACT III
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