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Buffy The Vampire Slayer > BTVS - Season Three
Ginsu Knife Cordelia by Kevin Latcher
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INT. WAREHOUSE - NEAR SUNSET

Giles and company are making last minute preparations for the impending battle in the dark and dank fireworks warehouse. Stacks and stacks of unopened fireworks for the upcoming July 4th celebrations line the walls of the warehouse. Amy and Willow have drawn a large white circle at the back of the warehouse and are lighting candles around it and performing other prefight rituals. Giles is addressing Oz, Xander, and Cordelia each of whom are holding some stakes and crosses. The sword is sticking out of Cordelia’s bag on the floor.

GILES: What we’re going to attempt tonight is highly risky at best. Instead of waiting for the Tao to pick us off one by one we’re going bring the fight here.(holding up a handkerchief covered ruby ring) At ten minutes after sunset, I’m going to uncover the dead scout’s ruby ring allowing his sub-clan to see that we’ve all gathered in one place. The Tao will instantly recognize this as a trap, but believing we’re harmless mortals will love the challenge.

WILLOW: (coming over to Giles) Once all the ninja badies get inside, I’m going to try to create a barrier spell we found in Ms. Calendar’s book. The spell’s supposed to keep vampires from exiting a place they’ve entered and is supposed to put up a neat little energy shield around the people who cast it..

GILES: Once we’ve trapped the Tao inside, Amy will, God willing, cast her Midnight Sun spell which will create artificial sunlight for two minutes vaporizing all the Tao.

XANDER: And of course you’ve tested all of this so, we know this going to work right, that’s why you’re passing out stakes and crosses and talking in that serious tone of yours..

GILES: I won’t lie to you, Amy only managed to create the midnight sun once and there’s no telling how the Tao will react to Willow’s spells. If everything else fails we will have to fight our way out of the warehouse at which time one of us, preferably myself, will set off the fireworks that fill this warehouse. If the ensuing explosion doesn’t finish the Tao, well, we all just might be done for. I can’t ask you to stay or leave as your not safe anywhere tonight, all I can ask is that you make your peace with what ever higher power you believe in and pray..

INT. WAREHOUSE - AFTER SUNSET

The few lights that dot the warehouse are on and the group has gathered within Amy and Willow’s makeshift circle in preparation. All of them stand alert and armed to the teeth with stakes, crosses, and spell books.

GILES: (removing the handkerchief from the Ruby) Here goes everything.

INT. SUNRISE MOVIE THEATER

Lester escorts a yawning Minn over to a third Tao who is operating a crystal ball like object. The image is projecting on to the screen. It is of Giles and company in warehouse preparing for battle.

TAO: (in Tao) Mistress the ring has become active again.

MINN: Where is this coming from?

LESTER: An old warehouse on the pier, we have a positive location. They want us to find them.

MINN: How brave of them.

LESTER: You know this has got to be a trap.

MINN: That makes it all the better. (in Tao) All soldiers prepare to move out!

INT. WAREHOUSE - 9:00 PM

The group still stand in defensive positions but have tired somewhat from the long wait.

WILLOW: (to Xander) You scared?

XANDER: Petrified beyond words.

OZ: Maybe they aren’t going to show, like they had car trouble or something.

GILES: Or they could be waiting for us to lower our guard before striking.

CORDELIA: (to Giles) You always have to be so gloomy don’t you?

XANDER: (to Cordelia) What’s he supposed to do, sing show tunes to pass the time?

CORDELIA (snapping back) I love you too sweety pie.

XANDER: (angrily) Right back at you honey buns.

AMY: (suddenly) Guys, quiet! I think I hear something!

With a loud screech a cat scurries by the group, who almost nearly jump through the roof.

WILLOW: (laughing nervously) Just a kitty cat..

One by one the lights around the warehouse begin to go out and in the darkness the smashing of glass and wood can be heard.

XANDER: (tensing up) That ain’t no kitty cat.

Suddenly, flipping out of the darkness, seven Tao Li, swords drawn come charging toward the group. Minn, Lester, and the remaining Tao enter through the front all sporting game faces. Only Minn and Lester are not wearing ninja garb.

MINN: Cut them up until they are nothing but powder!

Willow doesn’t have to wait another second to start chanting. Amy and Giles quickly join in as a barrage of ninja stars and arrows come rocketing toward the group. At the last second a glowing clear energy bubble in the shape of the circle surrounds the group as Willow reaches a fever pitch in her chanting. The arrows, knives, and ninja stars go bouncing off the energy bubble back toward the ninjas. In fact one ninja is impaled and killed by his own weapons. Minn and Lester take cover as ninja stars go flying over their heads.

OZ: (impressed) Very cool.

Willow continues chanting and the same energy source as the bubble begins to appear over all the entrances and exits. A second Tao is disintegrated as they stand in a doorway. Lester jumps outside of the warehouse just as the energy barrier comes down.

Several Tao attempt to exit the warehouse but are compelled by an unseen force to stay inside.

MINN: (standing up) She’s casting a barrier spell you fools! Stop firing and take cover!

GILES: (over Willow’s chanting) Now’s your chance Amy! Do it!

Amy closing her eyes starts chanting in a deeper and darker tone than Willow’s. She holds up her hands which begin to glow.

AMY: (chanting) Apollo bringer of sun! Here my call! I command you Estu Ate Estu Vite! Estu Ate Estu Vite Arnum!

A bright yellow energy begins to twirl around the bubble. Minn from hiding sees what’s going on and is not amused.

MINN: (stepping toward the energy bubble) Oh no you don’t!

Minn throws up her hands and begins chanting a counter spell. Suddenly with great difficulty Amy and Willow both continue to labor through their spells. Amy and Minn attempt to out shout each other as a furious wind picks up inside the entire warehouse, knocking over crates and ninjas.

Amy screaming at the top of her lungs finally finishes the spell. She falls to the ground drained as a bright yellow void begins to open up near the ceiling and shine down on the Tao. The Tao wither in pain as the sunlight grows with intensity. One bursts into flames and vaporizes.

MINN: (shielding her eyes) So if that’s how we want to play it, so be it! Goddess Artemis bringer of the moon hear my call!

Giles watches in horror as he realizes the ramifications of this spell. A black dot begins to appear over the artificial sunlight. Within seconds at becomes apparent that an artificial eclipse of the sun by an artificial moon is taking place.

GILES: (screaming) She’s eclipsing our sun!

XANDER: That’s bad right?

The sun is fully eclipsed and disappears. An angry Minn gives a withering stare toward Willow which sends her falling to the floor. All the barriers shatter like mystical glass.

MINN: (enraged) Kill them all! Kill them all now!

The Ninjas charge Giles, Xander, Cordelia, and Oz while Amy and Willow lie unconscious.

XANDER: If I’m going down, I’m going to at least go down as half a man damn it!

Oz, Giles, and Xander begin attacking the ninjas with little success. With a series of martial arts moves the ninjas quickly begin to gain the upper hand. Cordelia is equally unsuccessful as Minn kicks the stake out of her hand.

MINN: I will enjoy feasting on your heart after I have ripped it from your body!

CORDELIA: That was way more than I needed to know!

Minn lungs toward Cordelia and kicks her several times. Cordelia crumples to floor in front of her bag. As Cordelia’s vision comes back into focus she can see the sword sticking out of her bag. Minn, crunching her foot into Cordelia’s back forces her to scream. Minn puts the sword to Cordelia’s neck.

MINN: You’re so weak it’s pathetic.

Cordelia reaches for the sword and grabs it. Energy from the sword flows into her. Suddenly invigorated, Cordelia slashes out at Minn, getting her in the leg. Minn falls off Cordelia. Both women recover. Minn hisses at Cordelia.

Cordelia: (clutching the sword) Aside from a serious attitude adjustment, you need to be considering some major Ultra Slim Fast.

The two lunge at each other swords slashing. At first Cordelia is surprised she’s even able to keep up with Minn, but as she counters each of Minn’s moves she grows more confident. Soon she’s beating back Minn into a defensive posture.

CORDELIA: (angry) What’s the matter, jealous you’re not the only bitch with a sword!

MINN: (screaming in Tao) Soldiers defend the mistress!

The remaining Tao stop torchering Giles, Xander, and Oz and go running over to defend Minn from Cordelia.

Minn retreats into the crowd of Tao Ninjas who go after Cordelia. Instead of running Cordelia stands her ground.

CORDELIA: Come on ninja freaks! Try and touch me!

Cordelia with blazing speed attacks the mob of ninjas. Fighting back the ninjas she slashes through two of them and uses a kick move to repulse two others. She then tosses a fifth ninja over her shoulder before gutting another. Cordelia quickly punches, slashes, and kicks her way through the crowd of attacking ninjas. The ninjas all attempt to pile on her but she throws them all off her, before impaling another ninja on the sword.

Cordelia huffing and puffing now looks scratched up and semi-bruised. Her hair is a mess, and her outfit has some nasty tears in it. This only enrages her more.

CORDELIA: (screaming) You ruined my outfit! Do you have any idea how expensive this ensemble was!

Cordelia attacks the ninjas again, forcing them to scatter.

Lester runs into the warehouse and grabs Minn.

MINN: (angrily to Lester) I thought you said the slayer left town!

LESTER: (picking up Minn) She did! It’s the sword! I’ve seen it somewhere before! You’ve got to call a retreat before she wipes us all out!

MINN: (screaming in Tao) Withdraw! Withdraw!

Lester helps Minn out of the warehouse as the ninjas begin to scatter. Cordelia is able to lance a last ninja before they all are gone.

Exhausted, Cordelia drops to her knees, plunging the sword into the floor to keep her balance. An awestruck Giles, Xander, and Oz come over to her.

XANDER: (helping Cordelia up) Did she not kick some serious butt or what! She dices, she slices, she cuts in half any vampire ninja no matter how big or small, She’s Ginsu Knife Cordelia!

GILES: I don’t know how you did it Cordelia, but you single handedly took on the Tao Li and won..

CORDELIA: (utterly spent) That’s nice. Goodnight.

Cordelia faints into Xander’s arms.

XANDER: Giles, I’m going to ask you a radical question, tell me you don’t think that Cordelia is the new Slayer?

GILES: (dumbstruck) I don’t know, I just don’t know..



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