A/N: Finally another chapter!! Let me just say I am so grateful to my beta-reader for helping me with this one....cuz we all know I SUCK at grammer! Well yeah so round of applause for her!! Yay!! I think I spelled applause wrong....whatever. Anyway, love this chapter! It's so angsty. Oh well enough chit-chat and get on with the story...
Buffy got into the hospital easily. She figured she would, but part of her hoped that someone would see her; that maybe this was a nightmare. Walking through walls was about as easy as it was in movies. As she walked through the walls, she felt for a second that she was stuck between them. But then she appeared on the side and got this weird pins and needles feeling. Walking through people was also eerie. For a moment that she could feel their essences. She had walked through the person by accident when she was walking through a wall and when she appeared on the other side the person, a nurse, looked around as if she felt that Buffy was there.
Finally after walking through at lease twenty walls and ten people she got to the morgue door. She stood in front of it for at least ten minutes. She couldn't go in. If she went in she'd have to see her body and come to terms with her own death. She felt like a little kid whining to her mother, "Mommy, I don't want to go!"
The truth was that she didn't want to go, but she knew she had to. It was closure, even though that would mean being okay with being dead. Only soon she wouldn't be...that what he had said. He being the guy who had been there after she died, he had said something about being able to change what happens and that made her hopeful. For now, though, she was dead and she was about to see her body.
Buffy bit on her lip and walked through the door. She realized that she had been holding her eyes shut. She relaxed and got ready to open her eyes. If she wasn't dead, her heart would have been pounding. She then wished before she opened her eyes, that she was with her mom or Angel or Willow. She felt hot tears fall sown her cheeks as she got ready to finally open her eyes.
It had took her a moment to focus, but when she did she saw a man leaning over a body, her body. It seemed that he was looking for I.D. She knew she didn't have any and she wondered how they were going to get in touch with her mother. She slowly, cautiously moved closer. She felt like she was in slow motion and there was a part of her that wanted to get this over with and another part that wanted to run. She stepped closer trying to be daring, but also knowing that she was ok because the man was still hovering over her dead body. The man moved, though, letting her get a good look at herself. When she saw the body she wanted to scream, she wasn't ready.
Buffy closed her eyes again and opened them, this time taking it all in. She looked...she couldn't explain it. She bit her lip and her eyes widened. She looked dead for use of a better term. She had bruises on her face and arms. There were scraps on her face and arms also. She had large cuts on her shoulder and neck. Her hair had dirt and blood in it which came from a wound by her ear and another small cut by her scalp. The biggest amount of bleeding came the stomach area where there were multiple stab wounds. She noticed that there were at least five cloths trying to stop the blood from flowing out of her. The blood even soaked up the blanket in top of all of it...the stench was terrible.
The slayer noticed that the man was on the phone, she didn't think that would've stopped her, she had always been stubborn but she was cautious anyway. She walked over to the body and sat down on the table on top of herself. When she felt herself go through, she felt no essence, she felt cold. That made her want to scream.
"Come on, Come on." She urged herself as she mad her way to lay on top of the body.
"Come on, please!" she said tears falling down her cheeks. She had hoped that if she got to her body that she'd be able to hop right in. But it didn't work that way.
She laid on top of the cold dead body urging herself to hop right back in. She felt herself start to lower for a second and then she dropped. She shrieked, it was as if she was falling off a building. Then she felt the same feeling as if walking through a wall and she was sort of laying on the floor staring as the metal table. "No!" she screamed and got up. Once again she tried and the same thing happened. She screamed, all her frustrations coming up. "No!" she screamed again.
She got up and banged on her body and cried. "I'm not ready yet!" she cried falling to the floor.
"Why now?!" She cried and took a deep breath, which she didn't know you could do when you die, that sounded like her last. Then she realized that she felt nothing when she inhaled, reminding her that she was dead, that made her sob.
"I can't now...I'm scared." she said and brushed her hair that was sticking to her face from the tears falling down her cheeks.
She realized, then, that through all this that the man was still talking on the phone. She stopped crying and looked at the man as he talked, listening closely.
"Has anyone been reported missing in that last couple of hours?" the morgue guy asked. Buffy studied him, he had that look on his face that must have been glued on his face every time a body came in.
"No, no identification. What? Oh. White female, blonde hair about eighteen." Morgue guy said whose nametag read Dennis Clarson. The nametag showed the picture beside his name. The picture looked grim and very tired. She guessed that was the life of a morgue worker...unless you loved your job. Buffy walked over and hoped up on a desk. Dennis Clarson talked for a little while longer only to tell whoever was on the other line, she guessed the police, to keep on the look out for any missing reports.
Then he set back to work, taking pictures and other things. Buffy bit her lip, not knowing what to do. A million thoughts crossed through her mind, Angel, Giles, Willow, Mom. But none of them can talk to the dead...or could they? Buffy tried to smile, hope in her eyes...she wouldn't stay dead...so that was good. She got up and walked in the direction of the library. Let's see what Giles is doing....
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