(Knock, Knock)
(Creak of a door being opened) Hey, Buff.
Xander. We need to talk.
Uh, oh. Good things never come of an opening like that.
If it’s going to be a fun conversation, you just start talking. You don’t try to brace the other person for it.
True.
Let’s sit down.
Is it that bad?
It doesn’t have to be, but it has the potential.
Oh-kay. Sitting down sounds good.
(Two overlapping creaks as they sit down on the couch)
So what’s on your mind, Buff?
A lot. I’m not too sure how I feel about you right now, Xander.
That doesn’t sound good. Why not?
I am so enormously, unbelievably grateful to you for stopping Willow and saving the world and I will bake cakes and cookies and give you numerous other tokens of my gratitude. I’m pretty worried about you, too, with your bandages on your face, and I’m wondering what else she did to you that you won’t tell me about. But I am also monumentally angry with you.
Um…can I bask in the gratitude for a little while longer?
No. You can bask later. The air needs clearing.
Okay. Fair enough. What did I do this time?
Did you think that when I asked you not to tell Dawn about what happened with Spike, I just meant to wait until I wasn’t around?
Don’t you think she deserved to know? When were *you* going to tell her?
I don’t know. Maybe sometime after the world-ending crisis was over.
You would’ve found some other reason to put it off.
Probably. Does that give you the right to just go behind my back and tell her something that important?
I can’t believe you didn’t stake him.
That was my choice. Maybe I still felt guilty enough about the times that I beat him to a pulp to let him live.
Fine. You let him live. Or at least you don’t make him any deader. So then you decide to leave your sister with him?
Let’s break this down, Xander: he’s the only other super person we have. He’s physically incapable of harming Dawn—
But he can rape you.
I came back with my molecules changed just enough to fool the chip. Which you’d know if I felt even a little bit safe telling you what’s going on in my life. But I don’t. If what you said to Dawn proves anything, it’s that I can trust you with my life, but not my secrets.
Maybe they shouldn’t *be* secrets.
You know who I felt safe talking to? Tara. Because I knew that she wouldn’t judge me or hold it against me. She’d just try to help.
You were willing to leave your sister alone with a soulless monster who tried to rape you. Maybe that deserves judging.
(Deep, shuddering breath) You know, Xander, I asked her how she found out. She told me about the little conversation you had. Don’t pretend that you told her because she deserved to know, or needed to know, or any bullshit like that. She hurt your feelings, and you said what you knew would hurt her the most. You’ve done it to all of us at one time or another, and I’m not going to let you do it to her.
What are you talking about?
You defend by attacking, Xander. Someone hurts you, and you hurt them back just as hard as you can. You find a weak spot and you just smash it. Is that the kind of friend you want to be? Is that the kind of big brother you want to be to Dawn?
That’s not true! If I did that, I’d be just like—
No, you’re not just like them. You’re brave and you’re generous and you’re already so many things that they’ll never be. But you can also be cruel, and you could become like them if you don’t change that. I’ve taken it for a long time, but I won’t let you do that to Dawn.
Hey, Buff…that’s harsh. Doesn’t being a hero cut me any slack?
No. It didn’t for me after I got back from the summer I ran away. And you didn’t even have to kill Willow.
Oh. Yeah. Wow, I never…that must have been terrible for you.
Finally figured that out, did you?
(Two sighs)
I didn’t want to turn this into a fight, Xander. All I wanted to tell you was that you should have let me tell Dawn about Spike. But I warned you that the potential was there.
Yeah. You did. And I still came out swinging. Maybe you’re right.
I’m pretty sure that I am, but you could take a poll if you want.
No, that’s okay. Can I go back to being a hero again, now?
Yes. You may resume basking.
Oh, good.
Is Willow around?
No, she went for a walk.
Where to?
I’m not sure. She didn’t really say, she just said that she needed to get out.
Oh, boy. Maybe we should go find her. Make sure she’s not planning on doing anything crazy.
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