ACT II
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Pongo now in... well somewhat human form is
examining his new body in amazement. Suddenly he
hears footsteps coming up from the basement. Pongo
gasps, grabs the remains of his puppet shell and
dives behind the kitchen island as Spike appears
at top of the stairs. Pongo desperately tries to
pull the remains of the puppet shell on him
(trying to pull the puppet head over his own) as
Spike passes by. Spike is fussing with his leather
duster and doesn't notice.
SPIKE
Puppet man. I'm heading off to the
grocer's for smokes and weetabix.
Spike walks through the main room to the front
door.
SPIKE
If Harris asks where I went...
Spike throws his coat above his head and kicks the
door open.
SPIKE
Tell him I said to sod off.
The door slams shut behind him as Pongo stands and
sighs in relief. He looks down at the remains of
his puppet shell and then looks at his own body.
PONGO
Very doubtful.
EXT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - EVENING
Tucker and Liv are walking up the street to
Xander's house. Both carry somewhat weird
containers with chemical goop. Tucker is also
attempting to carry small potted palm tree.
LIV
Thanks for meeting with me later.
TUCKER
No problem! I'm looking forward to
seeing the results.
LIV
You okay handling the tree?
Tucker grunts as he shifts the palm tree
TUCKER
Sure. No problem. It's not heavy at all.
It's uh... not much farther is it?
LIV
About another mile.
Tucker groans. Liv giggles and stops in front of
the walk of Xander's house.
LIV
I'm kidding. This is it.
Tucker laughs.
TUCKER
Well aren't you tricky?
LIV
That's me. I'm tricky. I'm the
trickster.
Liv laughs nervously and the snorts. She stops
with a horrified look on her face. Tucker smiles.
LIV
For the record? That didn't happen.
TUCKER
If you say so, but... uh.. I thought it
was kind of cute.
Liv's grin could light up a power grid.
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Pongo, now wearing what must be the loudest
clothes in the universe, is examining himself in
the mirror. He's quite happy with the new look.
PONGO
Yes. Definitely.
Pongo pulls out the add from the phone book for
Frick and Frack's; heads toward the weapons
cabinet and pulls out a short sword.
PONGO
Outlook not so good.
EXT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE
Liv is looking through her key chain for the right
key.
TUCKER
Whose place is this?
LIV
My mother's boyfriend.
TUCKER
That's nice of him considering...
LIV
Considering what?
Tucker smiles and shrugs.
TUCKER
The last two times we've been together
something caught on fire.
Liv smiles.
LIV
Well what he doesn't know won't hurt
him.
TUCKER
Yeah it'll just cause property damage.
Liv laughs and unlocks the door.
LIV
(as she opens the door)
Yeah, well the third time's a cha-
Liv looks through the door and sees Pongo in his
blue-skinned/clashing clothes glory holding a
sword with the puppet carcass lying at his feet.
LIV
GAAA-AAAH-AAAH!
Pongo screams in shock.
PONGO
Aaaagggghhh!
Liv slams the door shut.
LIV
(quickly)
Uh...listenyoubettergobecause
there'sabigsewerleakinthere
andyoureallyshouldn'tbesubjected
toanythinglikethat.I'llcallyou
tomorrow.Thanks.Bye.
And with that Liv is through the door, slamming it
shut behind her. Tucker stands there stunned.
TUCKER
Okay.
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Liv is going into full slayer anger mode.
LIV
Do you have any idea how much I'm going
to hurt you?!!
Pongo screams in fear and dives out the window.
Liv scowls.
LIV
I told them not to jinx the crush!
Liv looks down at the ground and picks up the
puppet carcass.
LIV
Uh-oh.
EXT. CAPE KENNETH STREET.
Pongo runs in fear knocking over Tucker as he
screams down the street. All of the goop in
containers and the palm tree fly everywhere.
Tucker watches as the blue-skinned/badly clashing
Pongo run away.
TUCKER
This has got to be the strangest day
I've ever had.
Author's Note: Just wait.
INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM
Lucy is giving Xander a look of death. Xander is
confused.
XANDER
What?
LUCY
You let her do *WHAT*?!
XANDER
A science exper-
LUCY
ARE YOU INSANE?!
XANDER
It's just a-
LUCY
Did I ever show you the results of the
"Volcano" experiment?
XANDER
But-
LUCY
I've got a crater in the basement floor
and pieces of a pink plastic corvette
embedded in the wall!
If Xander could blink? He would at this moment.
XANDER
Crater?
Xander's cell phone chirps
LIV
(filtered)
Mr. Harris! Mr. Harris! We've got a big
problem!
Lucy and Xander share a look of dread.
XANDER
Oh boy.
Lucy sighs and sags her shoulders in defeat.
LUCY
I'll go call the Haz-Mat team. I've got
them on speed dial.
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Xander stands in front of the broken window with a
confused look on his face. Lucy and the rest of
the odd squad stand behind him.
XANDER
A blue demon wearing a Hawaiian shirt
and plaid shorts killed Pongo and
escaped through my window.
LIV
I'm not saying it had the best fashion
sense. I'm just telling you what I saw.
LUCY
But on the bright side... no crater
filled with magma.
LIV
(small voice)
It wasn't really magma.
Lucy scowls at Liv.
LIV
I was just a kid.
XANDER
That reminds me. No science experiments
at my house.
LIV
Drat.
Jordy holds up the remains of Pongo.
JORDY
Check it out. Puppet carcass.
MAYA
Eww.
JORDY
It's just fluff and felt.
MAYA
Yeah, but still... "carcass".
Xander takes the remains from Jordy and drops it
on the table like it was hot.
XANDER
Huh.
LUCY
What?
XANDER
That wasn't a demon that killed Pongo.
That was Pongo.
LIV
Oops.
MAYA
I thought you saw it kill Pongo.
LIV
I saw a blue thing holding a sword over
a puppet carcass! What would you think?
LUCY
How did he become a person or...
whatever he is?
XANDER
I don't know, but we better find him.
You guys split up. Liv take the East
side of town, Maya and Jordy'll take the
West.
LIV
Where exactly are we supposed to look?
XANDER
I don't know. Think like a puppet.
Xander picks up the puppet carcass and heads to
the door.
LIV
Where are you going?
XANDER
I'm going to see a man about a puppet.
The odd squad snickers. Xander frowns.
XANDER
That sounded much cooler in my head.
INT. DEMON BAR
Whistler sits in his usual booth, looking at
racing forms and drinking a pint of dark beer.
XANDER(OS)
Got a minute?
WHISTLER
Depends on what you need.
XANDER
Information.
Xander pulls out the puppet remains of Pongo and
tosses them on the table.
XANDER
What can you tell me about this?
Whistler pokes at the remains as Xander sits down
across from him.
WHISTLER
I'd say you've got a dog with a teething
problem.
XANDER
It used to be an Ekul Reklawyks.
WHISTLER
In this?
XANDER
Yep.
WHISTLER
How did it get in there?
XANDER
It used to be in a magic eight ball.
WHISTLER
A what?
XANDER
Magic eight ball. You know the thing you
shake and...
WHISTLER
Yeah okay. And how did it get in there?
XANDER
Beats me. Got it from Angel when he
worked at that evil law firm.
WHISTLER
Evil law- (sighs) Never mind. So how did
this happen?
XANDER
From what I could tell? It just popped
out.
WHISTLER
So why are you talking to me?
XANDER
I want to know why.
Whistler inspects the puppet carcass.
WHISTLER
Good question. Usually an Ekul remains
in the gestational stage for several
centuries. Another pair wasn't due for
at least three more. This one couldn't
be more than fifty years old.
XANDER
Did you say pair?
Whistler looks up with concern.
WHISTLER
You don't have the other one?
XANDER
No.
WHISTLER
Okay... this is bad. If an Ekul is
separated from its mate for an extended
period of time after it gestates... well
the affairs of the world will be in a
state of wonkiness.
XANDER
Is that the technical term?
WHISTLER
Yes. Well the one you have should
have...
XANDER
I don't have him either.
WHISTLER
Okay.... let me lay this out for you.
One: Something mucked with this Ekul
accelerating its growth. Two: An Ekul on
its own and unprotected is a bad thing.
Lot of things that go bump in the night
would love to get their mitts on this
thing. Third: You've got to find its counterpart.
Then bring them to me. I know a place
where they can be safe.
XANDER
Where do I find them?
WHISTLER
Hey... you're the man with the vision.
I'm just a guy who knows things.
Xander looks at the shredded puppet carcass.
WHISTLER
Afraid of what you'll see?
Xander looks away.
WHISTLER
It's the girl isn't it?
Xander says nothing. Whistler picks up his drink
and his racing form.
WHISTLER
Bit of advice... When it comes to seeing
your destiny or the destiny of others,
treat it like a band-aid. Do it quickly.
Whistler walks away, giving Xander a soft slap on
the shoulder as goes by.
Xander takes a long look at the puppet carcass and
reaches out with his index finger to touch it.
CUT TO:
EXT. CAPE KENNETH CEMETERY
Jordy and Maya are kissing each other
passionately. Maya sits on a gravestone her arms
wrapped around Jordy's neck. Jordy's are wrapped
around her waist. They break off the kiss, gasping
for air.
MAYA
Shouldn't (gasp) we be (gasp) looking
for (gasp) Pongo?
JORDY
(gasp) Probably.
They look into each other's eyes and immediately
start making out again. Maya breaks it off holding
Jordy back gently. She leans her head against his
chest. Both are still out of breath.
MAYA
Wait. We really (gasp) should be
looking.
JORDY
Right. (gasp) You see anything?
MAYA
No. You?
JORDY
No.
In less than a second they are back to making out
again. Jordy begins to kiss Maya's neck as she
softly moans.
MAYA
Mmmm. That's ni-
Jordy lets off a soft growl. Maya's eyes pop open.
MAYA
(scared)
Jordy?
Jordy snarls.
MAYA
OW! Jordy!
Maya shoves Jordy away. He falls to the ground and
shakes his head as though he was in a trance. He
looks up to see Maya holding her neck. Maya is in
full panic mode.
JORDY
Maya?
MAYA
Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!
JORDY
What's wrong?
MAYA
You ASSHOLE!!
JORDY
What?!
MAYA
You BIT ME!!
Jordy is all business. Jordy reaches over to move
Maya's hand. She slaps him away.
JORDY
Let me see.
MAYA
Get the hell away from me!
JORDY
Maya. Let me look.
Maya takes her hand away and Jordy looks. He
breathes a sigh of relief.
JORDY
You're okay. It didn't break the skin.
Maya smacks Jordy across the face.
JORDY
Ow!
MAYA
You asshole! You told me you had it
under control!
Jordy steps closer to Maya and tries to hold her.
JORDY
I thought I did.
Maya shoves him away.
MAYA
Well you don't!!
Maya and Jordy stand there looking each other.
Maya drops her gaze and and looks at the ground.
MAYA
I hate this town.
The PDA/Cell phone chirps.
XANDER
(filtered)
Guys... I got it. Meet me at-
EXT. FRICK AND FRACK'S NOVELTY SHOP
XANDER
(VO)Frick and Frack's Novelty Shop. I'll
explain everything there.
INT. FRICK AND FRACK'S NOVELTY SHOP
Two older bespeckled gentlemen putter around the
shop. One is working on something off camera. Both
have German accents.
WERNER
Hans? Is it almost ready?
Hans smiles evilly.
HANS
Patience Werner. Soon we shall be the
most powerful beings on the planet.
Both cackle as we close in on the object sitting
in front of Hans.
It's a Magic Eight Ball. And it's beginning to
vibrate.
END ACT II
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