Connor and Angel sat silently.
“Last time I saw these two teams play, they were the New York Giants and the Brooklyn Dodgers.”
“They had night games back then?” Connor asked.
“No. I was just trying to make conversation. What’s bugging you?”
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know.”
“Wow. I didn’t expect such a specific answer.”
“Is this supernatural stuff always going on?” Connor asked. “Do normal people brush up against it daily without even realizing or is it all just drawn to me?”
“Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“Half the guys on the track team are werewolves. And of course they’ve seen me do some of the stuff I can do, so they think I’m a werewolf, too.”
“Oh, thank god,” Angel sighed.
“That’s good news to you?”
“I was so afraid it’d be something I wouldn’t know how to handle. Like girl problems or math homework.”
“Well,” Connor shrugged. “One of them keeps flirting with Emily.”
“Ask Laurence about that. As for the guys on your track team, you have to talk to Willow. You two need to convince the werewolves that it’s in their best interest to lay low and lock themselves up during the full moon. Otherwise they could get killed.”
“There’s like a dozen of them. And they’re all into the high of being werewolves. Like they’re power junkies or something.”
“Are they intentionally hurting anyone?”
“I don’t know.”
“Next full moon, you and Willow should track them. If they are, then . . .”
“I’m not doing it,” Connor asked. “I’ll tell Willow. She and Kennedy can do it. But this in not the life I want.”
**
“Is Emily here?”
“All the cute guys come here for Emily,” Dawn muttered as she turned to her roommate. Dawn thought coming to Stanford would mean getting out from under the shadow of a hot blonde.
“Christian?” Emily smiled.
“Ready to tutor me?” Christian stood at the door wearing his sweats for the track
“Sure. Want to go to Tressider?”
“I thought we could do it here.” Chris said with a charming smile.
“I have to go out anyway,” Dawn said. She felt a rush of jealousy and had to fight back an urge to run and tell Connor Emily was alone in their room with another guy.
“No, it’s okay, Dawn,” Emily said. “Stay.” She hated to admit it, but the things Connor had said about Christian were sticking in her mind.
Christian sat on her bed. “A ménage a trois of studying. Lucky me.”
“Okay, I really have to go,” Dawn said. “Sorry.”
Emily gave Chris an annoyed look. “Can you not make those kinds of jokes?”
“What kind? Funny?”
“Sexual. Flirtatious. Whatever.” Emily sat at her desk.
“Sorry,” Chris said, leaving his book on her bed and moving to the desk. “I can’t help it. Whenever I see you, I’m just . . . you can feel it, too. I know you can.”
“Get out,” Emily said flatly. She surreptitiously reached for her pepper spray.
“There’s something between us, Emily,” Chris continued. He gripped her arms. “A connection. I know you feel it.”
“I said get out,” Emily said, angry this time. She pulled away from him and stood up, concealing the pepper spray in her hand. “I don’t know what the hell is wrong with you. I have a boyfriend. And even if I did feel some weirdo connection with you, it wouldn’t be enough to make me forget that I love Connor and I would never, ever cheat on him. What is it with guys? Why do you think that women will just give in to any guy they think is hot?”
Christian smiled smugly. It was a vaguely threatening smile. He approached Emily slowly. “Try fighting it all you want. I know what you want. And whether you like it or not, I’m going to give it to you.”
Emily stepped behind her chair. “Don’t.”
Christian threw the chair out of the way. Immediately and reflexively, Emily raised her hand and shot the pepper spray into her attacker’s eyes.
***
Kennedy opened the door to see Connor on the step.
“Hey,” Kennedy said in a voice of barely masked hostility. It was no secret the slayer was mildly jealous of Connor. Willow had been in love with a man once in her life. For some reason, Kennedy couldn’t help but feel that the androgynous college student might be enough to tempt her back to the male sex. Most of it had to do with other things going on between Kenn and Will.
“Hey,” Connor responded. “I need to talk to Willow.”
“I’ll bet,” Kennedy huffed.
“And you,” Connor added, all too aware he was not Kennedy’s favorite person.
“Hey Connor!” Willow said in a happy tone that didn’t help the situation.
“I found out who the other werewolf is. It’s my track team. Like half of them.”
“Are they receptive to-” Willow said.
“Being locked up? No.”
“Looks like we’re going hound hunting next full moon,” Kennedy smiled.
“Kennedy!” Willow said angrily. “We’ve been over this a million times.”
Kennedy knew how Will would react. But after recent conversations, the idea of gunning down a couple werewolves seemed very cathartic. She was more or less sick of hearing about Oz.
“Look, Kenn” Willow said. “You and Connor try to coral these guys.”
“Oh joy,” Kennedy said in a dull voice.
“Um, yeah,” Connor interjected. “Funny thing. I thought I mentioned that me tracking down my evil dad was my swan song when it came to evil fighting. I’m out.”
“Oh, come on,” Kennedy groaned angrily. “Never mind. Fine. Will, you and me will do it.”
“I can’t,” Willow said. “I need to find Amy.”
“Ex-girlfriend?” Connor asked, sensing the jealousy vibe from Kennedy.
“Close,” Kennedy smiled. “She’s the witch that tried to kill Will when your dad was evil. You know. When we helped you.”
“Because catching evil vampires in no way falls into your line of work,” Connor said sarcastically.
“Please stop arguing!” Willow shouted.
“Who’s arguing?” Dawn asked, popping her head through the front door. “Oooh! Connor and Kennedy!” She smiled at Connor. “Kennedy’s totally going to kick your ass!”
“No thanks,” Connor smirked. “I’m not into S&M.”
“You wish,” Kennedy said disgustedly. “Where do I find the track players?”
“Until next track practice, I don’t know where they’ll be,” Connor said.
“One of them’s in my room,” Dawn said.
“What?” Connor said. “If you’re here, why are . . .” Connor’s blood ran cold. “Emily.” Connor turned and bolted from the house.
“I better go, too, Dawn,” Kennedy said. “Can I get your room key?”
Dawn handed the key to Kennedy, and the slayer took off. Dawn looked at Willow, then at the packed bags in the foyer. “You’re going to look for Amy, aren’t you?”
“Think you’re up to being head witch for a while?”
“I am so up to that. But are you going to be here for dinner tonight? I invited this friend over.”
“I see,” Willow said with a knowing grin. “Finally getting over your little Connor crush, aren’t ya?”
“I wish. Actually, it’s this ex-girlfriend of Connor’s. She’s gay and she’s from Nebraska.”
“Ouch,” Willow said.
“Right. So, I thought maybe you and Kennedy could be her, like . . . lesbian role models or something.”
“Lesbian role models?” Willow said incredulously.
“Yeah,” Dawn said, rolling her eyes. “I know I needed a better phrase there.”
“The phrase is fine. But have you been paying attention to me and Kenn lately? We’re nobody’s role models.”
“Still static about . . . actually, what is the static about?”
“Just life, Dawnie. You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“What a crock. I’ve been hearing that way too long. That’s what Buffy said about boys, and I still don’t understand them. Kiss me, hold my hand, and save my life, then hook up with my roommate. Stupid boys.”
“Kennedy would be so proud of you right now.”
“Yeah. Maybe I should hook up with Megan. I mean, I have a crush on Connor. That’s pretty close to being a lesbian, right?”
****
Connor didn’t think he could be more afraid than when he figured out Christian was alone with Emily. When he saw the police cars and ambulance outside the dorm, he felt like he was going to die. Then, for the first time in his life, hearing the sound of someone he loved crying loudly was a relief.
“I, I, I didn’t mean to,” Emily was sobbing. “I tried to make him stop. I, I pepper-sprayed him, but he just kept coming.”
“Emily!” Connor yelled, running toward her.
“Hang on, son,” an officer said, moving to block Connor. But Connor quickly moved around the officer and got to Emily.
“I’m her boyfriend,” Connor said, sitting next to Emily and holding her.
“Plu, please let him stay,” Emily said, leaning into Connor’s chest and crying.
“What happened?” Connor whispered.
“I killed him, Connor. He attacked me and I killed him. I didn’t mean to.”
“Emily, you need to get a lawyer,” Connor said frantically.
“It’s okay, kid,” the detective sitting with Emily said. “Half the dorm heard him threatening her. They heard her fighting back, trying her best just to get away from him.”
“I went for the door, but he got to me and threw me against it,” Emily said, a little calmer now. He grabbed me and started pulling me toward my bed. I grabbed a letter opener my parents gave me from my desk. I just kind of stabbed behind me blindly once.”
“Boom,” the detective said, pantomiming the stab. “Right in the heart.” He looked over at the ambulance. “Look, even though this was just an attempt, we think you should talk to a rape counselor.”
Emily began shaking her head no.
Connor gently stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. “Maybe it’s a good idea, Em. This wasn’t your fault.”
“I didn’t mean to kill him.”
“Trust me,” the detective said. “If I were in your situation, the last thing on my mind would be what was best for that asshole. He put you in a situation where you had to decide which of you was going to get hurt. In my opinion, you made the right choice.”
“You did,” Connor whispered.
“Can we go somewhere else?” Emily asked. “Your room. Or maybe Willow’s house.”
“Can I take her?” Connor asked the detective. The detective nodded. “Come on,” Connor said, helping Emily up. “We’ll go to Willow’s.”
*****
“Megan?” Connor said as he entered Willow’s house. “What are you doing here?”
“Dawn invited me to dinner. I’m trying to . . . I don’t know. Network. Like you always said I should.”
“How do you know Dawn?”
“What do you mean? Didn’t you-”
“Dinner’s ready!” Willow called. There were still a few minutes of cooking to go, but she wanted to breakup Connor and Megan’s conversation. Willow knew Dawn must have been stalker-girl. Willow didn’t want Connor knowing that.
“You two used to date?” Kennedy asked, sitting at the table.
“Yeah,” Connor said, sensing Emily’s unease at the topic. “Like a million years ago.”
“See how slowly times moves without me?” Megan said teasingly.
“Maybe we should go to a restaurant,” Connor suggested to Emily. “He didn’t want her feeling any more awkward after an already horrific day. Connor knew as well as anyone, killing a person, no matter what the circumstances, takes its toll.
“You were dating Connor when you realized you were a lesbian, right?” Willow said, trying to steer the conversation away from Megan’s relationship with Connor while simultaneously put Emily at ease that there was no Megan/Connor spark left.
“Um . . . yeah,” Megan said.
“You’re uncomfortable talking about it, huh?” Kennedy said. “It’s like that at first.”
“It’s always a little like that,” Willow said. “At least it has been for me.”
“Yeah,” Kennedy said. “Me, too. I try to pretend it isn’t, you know? Show a tough exterior. Act like it’s completely normal. But I still always feel like there’s something wrong with me for liking girls.”
Megan looked both uncomfortable and at ease. It was as if she’d come home after many years and found home to be an unfamiliar place. Talking about being gay was weird, but it also made being gay somehow seem less weird.
“I never would have made it through without Conn,” Megan said. “He was like . . . I don’t know. A rock.”
Kennedy frowned. She didn’t like having other mammals at the watering hole. She was easily more decisive and aggressive than Willow or Dawn. It made her feel like the de facto leader. But Connor’s presence threatened her. He represented a reassertion of a patriarchy into Kennedy’s feminine utopia. It shouldn’t matter that Connor was a male, but it did. It was as if, by the very fact that he was a male, years of training by society caused the other women to instinctively defer to Connor.
“What’d he do?” Emily asked, sniffling. She wanted to know so badly. She was frightened at the moment. She needed to know that Connor really was what Emily needed him to be; a rock, like Megan said. Someone who could support her until she got over this.
“He was the first one who said it out loud,” Megan said, taking the meatloaf that finally made its way to the table. “We were at the West Valley Mall in the food court.”
“Ooh,” Kennedy muttered sarcastically. “Big spender.”
“And this hot woman passed by our table,” Megan continued. “Connor kind of checked her out. And when he turned back to me, he noticed that I had checked her out, too. And when he noticed, he asked me if everything was okay. I said it was and he just nodded. And then he said, like he’d said before, I could tell him anything. Anything at all. And he’d still care for me.”
“Awwwww,” Willow said sweetly, clearly moved by the moment. This of course elicited a scowl from Kennedy.
“Later that night, we were making out,” Megan said. “And we were going to . . . you know.”
“Can we change subjects?” Connor said, embarrassed by the fact that Emily was hearing how he and Megan used to . . . you know.
“Sorry. I’ll give a PG-13 version.”
“No,” Emily said. “It’s okay.” She didn’t care about the sex. She wasn’t jealous or possessive. She was somewhat intimidated by Megan’s model-like beauty and her athletic body. But Emily knew Connor wasn’t a virgin and had long ago come to terms with that.
Megan smiled shyly. “Well, we were . . . you now.”
“Yeah,” Dawn said in annoyance. “We know. We all know. I’m the only one here who hasn’t you knowed yet, and even I know.”
Emily frowned. She’d thought it was okay for Megan to talk about it because she, as Connor’s girlfriend, wasn’t bothered by it. She forgot how Dawn apparently still felt about him.
“Sorry,” Megan said. “Anyway, I was thinking about the woman at the mall. And I guess Connor noticed, because he whispered, ‘Meg, are you a lesbian?’ I totally freaked. Totally denied it. He said it was okay if I was, and I still freaked and denied it. Then he asked if we could just maybe lay with each other.”
“Awwwww,” Willow said sweetly again.
“We fell asleep. And the next morning we woke up. And I told him he was right. I cried through the whole conversation. I felt so . . . well, I felt a lot of things. He just held me and stroked my hair and told me there was nothing wrong with me and everything would be alright. After that, he never pushed me to come to terms with being gay. But he was there to support me every time I time I took another step.”
“Oh my god,” Willow said, almost weeping. “That’s so sweet.”
“Yeah,” Connor said sarcastically as he took mashed potatoes. “I’m a regular knight in shining armor.”
Kennedy reached out and touched Dawn’s arm. She could see that the story had stung a little. Part of her wanted to shake Dawn viciously and yell at the girl to get over it. But Kennedy knew the heart moved at its own pace. And all the yelling in the world wouldn’t make it move a beat faster.
******
“It could be like a sleepover,” Dawn offered.
“It’s okay,” Emily said. “Really.”
“Do you really want to be in that room tonight?”
Emily sighed. After Megan left, Emily told Dawn the full story about what happened between her and Christian. Dawn immediately implored her to stay at Willow’s.
“It’ll be fun,” Kennedy said. “Will’s going on a witch hunt. But a good witch hunt . . . in that she’s hunting bad witched, not just any witch. The house will be lonely unless you stay.”
“I can stay, too, if you want,” Connor said. There was something unsettling about leaving her alone.
“Sorry,” Kennedy said. “No boys, tonight.”
“Cut it out, Kenn,” Willow said. “Emily, it’s up to you. You want Connor here?”
Emily looked down. “I don’t know.” She looked back at Connor apologetically. “It’s not that I don’t . . . but I . . . I want to talk to people who might know what I’m going through.”
“I kind of do,” Connor said, glancing around nervously. “With the Radinsky’s, I had to . . . remember?”
“I can talk to her about that, too,” Willow said.
“I thought you were leaving,” Connor replied.
“When I get back, I mean.”
Emily looked at Connor, still sadly. “I’m not talking about killing Christian. The other thing. I want to talk about the other thing. What he tried to do. And I’m so sorry, Connor, but I just can’t talk about it with you. It makes me feel so guilty.”
Connor kneeled in front of Emily’s chair and took her hands. “It’s not your fault, Em.”
“You told me he was trouble. What he wanted from me.” She began crying again. “I should have listened to you.”
“And I should have noticed what was wrong with him. Em, you should be able to tutor a guy without him attacking you.”
Connor’s words had no effect. Emily was deep into weeping.
“You should probably go,” Kennedy said sternly. “Let me rephrase. Go.”
Willow was about to respond angrily to Kennedy, but Connor cut her off by nodding. “Okay. But you’ll take care of her tonight, right? Make sure . . .”
“What?” Willow asked.
“Christian was part of the pack. The one on the track team. I’m worried that . . .”
“They’ll come looking for payback,” Willow said.
“We’ll take care of her,” Kennedy said.
Connor looked at Emily. “You have my cell phone, right?” Emily and Dawn both nodded. “Call me if you need anything.” He looked at Kennedy. “I’ll go try to find the other werewolves.”
Kennedy smirked triumphantly. “Look what’s your problem again.”
Connor scowled at her and left.
“Do you have to be so rude?” Willow snapped.
“Kid gets on my nerves,” Kennedy said.
“And you get on his,” Emily said, sticking up for her boyfriend. “At least he has the class to be a gentleman about it.”
Kennedy frowned. She hated being rebuked by innocent looking Emily. She hated even more that the censure was completely accurate and appropriate. “Sorry,” Kennedy mumbled. “On my way back from the airport I’ll get him a Whitman’s Sampler.”
“Kennedy,” Willow said reproachfully.
“I’ll apologize. For everything. Good enough?”
“Yeah,” Willow said. “Dawn, why don’t you drive me to the airport? If we’re worried about payback, Emily should have a slayer standing guard at all times.”
Kennedy nodded. “Don’t worry,” she said to Emily. “It’ll only be about an hour. And I can be okay to talk to, sometimes. I’m not always a bitch.”
“She’s hardly ever a bitch,” Willow said, hugging Kennedy from behind. “She’s a great big softy once you get to know her.”
*******
“Want another margarita?” Kennedy asked, frantically operating the controller.
“I’m underage,” Emily said. “Should you really be giving me liquor?”
“I’ll tell you a secret. There’s no booze in them.”
“Oh,” Emily said. She clicked a button three times and smiled. “Looks like I win.”
Kennedy threw her controller down. “For someone who supposedly never played Play Station before, you’re pretty good.”
“I learn fast,” Emily smiled.
“That you do,” Kennedy said. She was about to continue, but froze.
“What is it?” Emily asked, somewhat scared by Kennedy’s expression.
“We have to get out of here,” Kennedy said.
Before she could move, Terry and two other track players smashed through the sliding glass door in the back. Kennedy somersaulted backward, making it to the weapons case. She tossed an axe to Emily.
“Five guys against two chicks?” Terry laughed. “This’ll be easy.”
Kennedy turned to see two more track players coming in from the garage.
“Connor will be here soon,” Emily said. “I just called him.”
“I don’t think so,” Terry said. “I sent some boys to Connor’s room to make sure he wouldn’t interfere.”
As if on cue, the cell phone of the player on Terry’s right rung. He lifted it and answered. “Oh shit.” He looked at Terry. “Connor wasn’t in his room.”
“Graghhh,” one of the players by the door groaned as an aluminum bat smashed him in the back of the head. Despite his werewolf strength, he hit the floor unconscious. The guy next to him turned to face Connor, who was charging in from the garage. Connor swung the bat again, smashing the nose of the other player and knocking him unconscious.
“Leave her alone,” Connor growled.
“I don’t think so.” Terry removed a pistol from his jacket and aimed it at Emily. “Chris might have been an asshole, but he was still a part of the pack.”
Connor chucked the bat just as Terry fired. The aluminum bat crossed in front of Emily at the perfect time, and deflected the bullet. Terry fired again, but Connor had knocked Emily to the ground, clear of the gunfire.
“How’d you get here so fast?” Emily asked.
“I was across the street all night.” Connor spun and kicked the couch over, tripping one of Terry’s cronies. Jumping up, he landed on the couch’s back, which was now parallel to the floor. He kicked the gun from Terry’s hand, then kneed Terry in the face.
Terry staggered back and Connor jumped on top of him.
“Terry, this isn’t you,” Connor said.
“This is me,” Terry growled, throwing Connor off. “This is me freed from the restraints of society’s rules. Kennedy threw her sword, hoping to nail Terry’s leg, but he back flipped out of the way.
Kennedy tossed Connor a sword and he grabbed it. Mark, one of the cronies, grabbed Terry’s gun. Terry backed toward the door.
“What are you going to do, Reilly?” Terry grinned. “You really think you could live with killing someone?”
“You have no idea what I can live with.” Connor looked at Terry’s crony. “Dropped the gun, Mark.”
Mark kept aim at Emily who was afraid to move. Mark turned and fired two shots, downing Connor. He then turned and, with a grin, gunned down Emily. Mark rode high on the power of the act, feeling what Terry told him was the power of the wolf. Freedom from human laws.
Mark turned toward the bleeding Connor, staggering to his feet. Mark’s grin faded. He literally gasped and took a step back. Terry began backing out of the house as a sort of calm hatred seemed to emanate from Connor.
Mark raised the gun, despite being nearly paralyzed by fear. Terry would never know what it was that Mark saw in Connor’s eyes, but he knew it had scared Mark. Connor’s movement was swift, but somehow calm and controlled, as if lopping off Mark’s head was the most natural thing in the world.
Terry turned and ran. Connor had two bullets in him. He wouldn’t be able to catch Terry. But for all his preaching of the power and dominance of the wolf, Terry knew he’d gone too far in attacking Emily. He now knew whatever rage and power he had was infinitesimal compared to the reserves of darkness that Connor apparently held within him.
More than anything else, Terry was aware that his role as Alpha Dog was forever lost. As soon as Connor healed, Terry would be the hunted.
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