ACT III
EXT. CEMETERY
Jordy and Liv are walking through the cemetery,
scanning the area. Liv is carrying her large leather satchel filled with weapons galore.
JORDY
What are we looking for?
LIV
Anything. Did you see anything
suspicious?
JORDY
Not a thing. Of course, knowing what we
are looking for would be helpful.
MAYA
(filtered)
Bo peep to lost sheep. This is Crrr-azy
Cooter comin' at cha! Come back.
Liv rolls here eyes; pulls out her cell/pda and
shoots Jordy a glare.
LIV
You had to take her to that movie.
Jordy shrugs.
JORDY
I'm a sucker for anything narrated by
Waylon Jennings.
LIV
(to phone)
You find anything?
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Maya has a stack of papers and a book opened up.
MAYA
Yeah... I found lots. The birth
certificate was a dead end. Sunnydale's
sinking kind of killed any records from
there.
LIV
(filtered)
Swell.
MAYA
But the foster parents are a different
story. They've got a paper trail that
starts right after the sinkhole
happened. Oh, and "Kay Kistos"? Kelly's
"foster mom"? Yeah. She doesn't exist.
EXT. CEMETERY
Jordy and Liv give each other a knowing look.
JORDY
So how did she get past Xander's
spook-o-vision?
MAYA
(filtered)
Don't know. But I haven't even told you
the most damning evidence.
LIV
What's that?
MAYA
(filters)
The lawyers that handled the foster
parents' application for Kelly? Wolfram
and Hart.
JORDY
Oh... this is so a trap.
LIV
We better find them before it's-
INT. DESERTED WAREHOUSE
KHAOS
-not too late! The planetary alignment
will hold for another thirty minutes. We
must finish the preparations
Vampires in robes run around the room setting up
arcane relics. In the middle of the ceremonial
site is a big old pile of ashes. Khaos and Aoinios
stand supervising the activity. Kelly stands by
them smirking. Xander and Faith hang upside down
from the ceiling from ropes.
FAITH
Let me guess... Cloven hands... big ass
pile of ashes... you guys wouldn't be
any relation to Kakistos out for revenge
would you?
XANDER
Kissing-Toast? Did you just say that
Heckle and Jeckle here are related to
toast?
Faith rolls her eyes. Khaos ignores Xander.
KHAOS
Gold star for you, Slayer. Soon our
master will rejoin us and the Order of
Kakistos will be reborn.
AIONIOS
Excuse the rhetoric. We've been waiting
quite a while for this.
XANDER
I don't get it. How did...?
Xander motions over to Kelly.
KHAOS
We fool your "senses"? An associate of
ours was able to do a little
mystical/genetic makeover on the girl
over there. What was his name?
AIONIOS
Buckwheat? Alfalfa? Something along
those lines. All those human names sound
alike. It wasn't hard getting the DNA.
However the personality-resemblance
upgrade cost a pretty penny.
KHAOS
Oh but it was well worth it. Plus we got
it on the installment plan.
XANDER
(to Kelly)
And what did you get out of it?
KELLY
Duh. Money.
XANDER
(to Faith)
Look honey. She's evil. Must take after
you.
Faith scowls at Xander.
KHAOS
Such a sweet little girl. All she needed
was a cheap little charm used by poker
players to prevent people know when they
are bluffing and... well here you are.
AIONIOS
Soon the slayer will be dead and our
master reborn. Killing the watcher is
just a bonus.
KELLY
Wait... You're going to kill them?
FAITH
Duh. Vampires. What did you think they
were going to do?
KELLY
I just... they just said for a ceremony.
You didn't say anything about killing
them!
FAITH
(to Xander)
Look honey. She's terminally stupid. She
must take after you.
KELLY
Hey... I'm all about a swindle but
killing? No way. I don't want any part
of this.
KHAOS
Oh no. We insist you take your reward.
Aionios motions to the vampire standing beside
Kelly who grabs her head and twists until we hear
the sickening crunch. Xander and Faith both turn
their heads away. Khoas and Aionios laugh.
AIONIOS
You realize we just voided our warranty.
KHAOS
But by not paying her, we just saved on
the installment plan.
They laugh again. A vampire approaches from the
ceremonial area.
VAMPIRE
Masters. The preparations for the
ceremony are-
The vampire stops talking in mid-sentence. Khaos
and Aionios look at each other in confusion.
AIONIOS
Are what?
Khaos coughs and points at the vampire's chest
where an arrow is showing. The vampire dissolves
into dust.
AIONIOS
Oh crud.
Glass breaks as smoke grenades fly through them. A
thick smoke envelopes the warehouse.
KHAOS
No! Not now! Not when our victory is
close at hand.
XANDER
Or in your case hoof.
From the smoky room we hear the sounds of
violence, snarling and the sounds of vampires
screaming as they fall into dust.
Liv breaks out of the smoke while battling a
vampire. She stakes the vamp, sees Xander and
Faith and flings her battle axe across the room,
slicing through the ropes holding Xander and
Faith.
The minion vampires rush forward as Xander and
Faith free themselves. Xander picks up the battle
axe as Faith leaps into the fray hand to hand.
Vampire dust starts flying everywhere.
KHAOS
I think now would be a good time to save
our hides.
AIONIOS
I agree.
The two vampires book out of the warehouse.
Jordy steps out from the smoke in partial werewolf
mode. He snarls as two more vampires approach. They
quickly run out of the building as Liv, Xander and
Faith finish off the remaining vampires.
Jordy huffs and puffs. He looks down at his
partially transformed body and concentrates. He
looks worried.
LIV
Jordy? Are you okay?
Jordy concentrates some more and his features
return to normal. He smiles.
JORDY
I'm fine.
Liv gives him a dubious look.
JORDY
Seriously.
Liv looks over toward the corner where Xander and
Faith are standing over Kelly's body.
LIV
Oh no.
Liv rushes over toward them.
LIV
Mr. Harris.... I'm... I'm sorry. I tried
to tell you, but-
XANDER
It's okay Liv.
LIV
I'm... sorry she wasn't your daughter.
Xander looks sadly down at the body. He puts an
arm around Liv.
XANDER
So am I.
END ACT III
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