I don’t own any of the characters in this they all belong to Joss Whedon.
This is my first fanfic so I know its not going to be as good as everyone else’s. But I’ll have a go anyway. Wish me luck and please review. Tell me how I can make it better in future and which bits you like about it. I’ve noticed a few spelling/grammatical errors, I blame my stupid spell check I cant use it. I will try and make sure that everything is right
Historians note: This happens a few years after Buffy season 7. There was no end of angel and there was no apocalypse.
Chapter 11 – falling apart
I must be dreaming, Buffy thought to herself. She looked up at Carlo. “What? No” Buffy said. She felt like her world was falling apart all over again. “We can sort this out” she said. She felt a cold tear fall down her face.
Spike watched her. His heart ached when he saw her in pain, especially when he caused it. But he wanted to be with her. He couldn’t let her spirit die with him; he knew he could make her happy.
“No we can’t. If all your going to think about is him, then no” Carlo said coldly to his wife, or soon to be ex-wife.
“Carlo, don’t you love me is that it?” Buffy asked as more tears fell down her face. Yet another man was leaving her and yet again it was her fault.
Carlo looked into Buffy’s teary eyes. “I love you, but you don’t love me so this cant work.” He said.
“But I do love you, I do. I don’t know how I can prove this to you” Buffy said.
“You have already shown me that you love him. So go…” Carlo said as he reached into his pocket. He took out a pair of keys. “I got you a present earlier, take it to good use” he said. He handed Buffy a set of car
keys.
Buffy turned around and just noticed the red sports car on the drive. She hadn’t noticed it with all the drama going on. He had bought her a car of her own. She turned back to Carlo. Before she could say anything he turned around and started walking back into the house.
“Come back for your stuff in the morning” Carlo said, he went into the hall and grabbed Buffy’s hand bag and jacket. He laid them down on the door step, glanced at Buffy and spike then closed the front door.
As the door closed Buffy fell to her knees. It was all too much for her to handle. As she cried she clutched the keys tightly until her hand started to bleed. She didn’t care; she didn’t feel the pain in her hand, just the pain in her heart. She felt like a large black hole had just appeared and was taking the world away. Her neck felt tight as more tears fell down her cheeks.
Spike didn’t know what to do. He watched Buffy and then walked over to the front door and picked up her jacket and bag. He carried them over to her and knelt down on the grass next to her. He placed the bag and jacket on the floor next to her.
Buffy lifted her tear stained face to look at her former lover. She didn’t know what to do.
“Buffy” spike said gently. “Are you ok luv?” he knew it was a stupid question to ask as soon as the words passed his lips. Of course she wasn’t alright.
Buffy stood up slowly, her legs felt weak and her head was spinning. “Do I seem ok to you?” she sobbed as another gush of tears rolled down her cheeks. She heart was breaking all over again.
Spike stood up, her bag and jacket in hand. “I….” he started.
Buffy interrupted him. “Don’t you dare say your sorry coz I will beat you down” she said angrily.
“I didn’t mean for it to go this way” spike said.
“Well it has ok.” Buffy said. “I’ve lost everything. Are you happy now? Do you want me to be like this, hoping that I’ll fall back into your arms”. Buffy felt dizzy, the work was spinning and she couldn’t focus her eyes.
Everything went black.
Spike caught her as she fell. And that’s exactly what she did, fall into his arms. He placed her on the ground to check she was ok. She was still breathing. All the shock must have over took her. He looked down at her for a moment then picked her up and carried her back to his car. He placed her gently in the passenger seat and thought about hat to do. Maybe he should take her back to wolfram and hart. Carlo obviously wasn’t going to take her back so he would have to.
Spike placed Buffys things on the back seat and started the engine. He drove back to wolfram and hart thinking about what he was going to do next. He glanced at Buffy as he drove. She looked beautiful even though her face was wet from her tears.
Spike drove into the under ground parking lot and turned off the engine. What to do? He thought. Spike got out of the car taking Buffys things with her. She went around the other side of the car and opened her door. He gently lifted her out of the car and locked the car. He walked up to an elevator and he went up into the building. As the doors opened he stepped out. He was on the apartment floor where wolfram and hart had many apartments for Angels guests to stay.
Spike found an empty apartment and walked in, closing the door behind him. The apartment was quite big. Nearly as big as Angels. Spike walked into the bedroom and placed her on her bed. He put her jacket and bag on a chair near the window. He turned around and looked at her. She was illuminated by the moonlight. He glanced down at her bleeding hand. He walked into the bathroom and got a damp cloth. He walked back over to her and sat down on the bed next to her. He cleaned her blood stained hand and then kissed her on the forehead. He left her to sleep.
………………………………………..
Next morning at wolfram and hart.
Buffy woke up slowly. As she opened her eyes she felt the sting of the morning sunshine and immediately closed them again. She was confused. She tried opening her eyes again and sat up on the bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room. Where was she?
She looked over at a chair which had her jacket and bag on it. She wasn’t at home. Oh god what happened last night. She silently prayed that it was a dream and that Carlo would walk through the door any second. She waited and no one came. She got up off the bed and adjusted her clothes.
Buffy felt a sting in her hand. She lifted her hand to eye level and noticed some deep cuts. She looked down at the bed side table and noticed the set of keys that Carlo had given her. It wasn’t a dream. They were covered in blood. All the memories of the previous evening came flooding back to her.
Buffy looked up as the bedroom door opened and in walked spike.
Spike was surprised to see her awake. “Hello pet” he said softly.
Buffy didn’t say anything. Now she was even more confused. Spike was here. She hoped they didn’t do anything last night that would mess up everything even more.
“I didn’t think you’d be awake” spike said. “How you feelin?”
“Emmm” Buffy said, “That’s a difficult question. I don’t know”
Spike only nodded and walked over to her.
Buffy sat back down on the bed and spike sat next to her. They sat in silence for a while, occasionally glancing at each other.
“I guess what happened last night wasn’t a nightmare then. It did actually happen” Buffy said looking at Spike.
Spike nodded, he knew the reason for Buffys unhappiness was him. He had caused all of this pain for her.
“Where am I then?” Buffy asked. “Is this your place?” she looked around the room. Maybe spike had once eaten a decorator. It was very posh.
“No” spike laughed. “This is wolfram and hart”.
“The law firm angel is in charge of?” Buffy asked
“Yeah pet” spike confirmed as he looked at her golden hair shine in the bright sunlight.
Buffy nodded, she stood up again. “What am I going to do? Carlo is divorcing me” she said. She started to pace up and down along side of the bed.
“Luv if you keep doing that you’ll wear a hole in the big poofs posh carpet. One second thoughts carry on” spike said as he watched Buffy pace. She paced when she was nervous or thinking about something really carefully.
Buffy stopped and looked at spike. “What am I going to do?” she asked him. She knew she wouldn’t get any good advice from him. She knew all he wanted was her.
“Don’t ask me luv” spike said. “I know what I want you to do. But I guess you have to decide yourself.” Spike said.
“And that’s what I was doing last night? Deciding for myself when you came to my house and then …. Well you know …..” she said.
“Yeah pet, I know what I did. That’s because I want and need you to be with me. You know some where inside that its true.” Spike said. “We’re soul mates Buffy”.
Buffy sat down next to spike. “Spike you know I love you but I’m… well was married. And I do love Carlo”
“But not as much as you love me” spike interrupted.
Buffy looked down, “I don’t know” she said. “But I guess I’m not married anymore. Well soon wont be coz Carlo wants to get rid of me ASAP” she said.
Spike put a hand on her knee. “Is that a bad thing?” he asked.
“Don’t ask me that question spike” Buffy said quietly.
Spike didn’t reply to her.
Buffy stood up. “I need to think so I’m going to go shower ok” she said.
Spike nodded. “I can find you some clean clothes to wear until you get yours” he said.
“Thanks” Buffy said with a half smile. She walked off into the bathroom and spike left the apartment.
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