Cassandra’s Journal: October 3, 1998
The Slayer knows about my soul restoration. Angel told her. She doesn’t trust me. She told me that she trusts Angel, but she doesn’t trust me. I know a part of her trusts me, but most of her thinks that I am just an incredible actress. I know that it shouldn’t matter to me, but it does matter. I want her to trust me. Why should I even care? But, I do. I can’t explain it.
Tonight I stopped a couple of fledglings from killing one of the Slayer’s friends. I found out that these fledglings work for Spike. Like an idiot, I told them my name. I bet Spike knows about the incident by now. I wonder if he knows about my restored soul, I doubt it. I do not want to run into him, but I have a feeling that I will. I hope there will not be much trouble. I wonder if he is still afraid of me? If he finds out about the restoration, I doubt that he will be.
Fighting with those fledglings tonight and saving that boy from death has brought up issues with me. I actually feel good about myself. I did something for the good guys for a change. After decades of causing death and destruction wherever I went, I actually saved someone again. It also brings back a lot of memories of when I was human. I don’t want to think about that time in my life, but I can’t help it. My mind keeps on returning to those long buried memories. A part of me actually wants to stay here in Sunnydale to help, and another part wants to run as fast as I can. I feel so conflicted. Who am I kidding anyway? I can’t stop what is going on here. I can’t help. I couldn’t stop the evil then, and I can’t stop it now.
I am reminded of something Clara told me once. She told me, “Did you not know? Good must always win over evil.” I didn’t have her optimism then, and I don’t have it now. God, I miss her. Clara was the best sister anyone could ask for. Her death is one of a thousand regrets.
* * *
Sunnydale Library:
Xander, Willow, and Buffy entered the library chatting about one of their classes. They came up to Giles, who was engrossed in research. “Hey Giles.” Said Willow cheerfully.
“Willow, I need your help. Can you get on the computer and look up some old newspaper articles?” Asked Giles.
“How old?” Willow asked while turning on the library computer.
“What’s going on Giles?” Buffy asked.
“I doing more research into Cassandra. I want some information about her early life. There is none in the watchers’ diaries. I thought maybe to look at old newspaper articles. Maybe they will have reports of strange deaths and disappearances. It might lead us to more information.”
“Oh speaking of Cassandra, I talked to her last night.” Buffy said.
“Really? What happened?”
“I talked to Angel last night. He told me that he had spoken to her already. He said that she had a soul, just like him.”
“Interesting.”
“Yeah, then, while we were at The Bronze last night, we saw her. After Xander and Willow left, she came to my table. We talked.”
“What did she say?” Giles’ attention was definitely peaked.
“She told me the same thing Angel said, that she had a soul. Giles, she was very convincing. She is either telling the truth, or she is one hell of an actress. Also, what happened with Xander is making her story seem more convincing.”
Giles looked over to Xander. “What happened?”
Xander started, “I was walking home after I took Will home and some vampires attacked me. I was about dead and Cassandra came up and beat the crap out of them. It was incredible. She got one of them in some sort of neck hold and forced him to say who he was and who he worked for. After that, the two vampires ran away.”
“She didn’t attack you?” Asked Giles.
“No, she even asked me if I was all right. That definitely is a first for me, when a vamp asks me if I was okay.” Said Xander.
“If this is true, her soul restoration might be the reason of her disappearance.” Said Giles. “We need to research everything about her. I want to know about her early life.” Giles looked over to Willow, who was waiting patiently at the computer. “Willow, the diaries first mention Cassandra in 1793. All we know about her is that she is believed to be originally from London. Since Angel sired her, we have to target the search for the times that he was known to be in London around the late seventeen hundreds. The only time he is mentioned in the diaries that he was in London in that time period was in the years 1783 and 1785. Look for any reports of unexplained deaths and disappearances. If Cassandra disappeared in London around that time, the newspapers might report it.”
Willow started typing. “I’ll get right on it.”
Buffy frowned, “Was there a Slayer in London at that time? Is that how you know?”
“Yes, a Slayer named Mary Williams.” Giles looked down at a book to confirm.
“Did Angel meet her?” Buffy asked.
Giles looked up at Buffy. “According to the diaries, yes, Miss Williams did meet Angel.”
Buffy got a pained expression on her face. “Did he kill her? I know that he didn’t have a soul then, but I have to know.”
“Buffy, the records are inconclusive. You see, Miss Williams’ watcher was killed so he couldn’t finish the records on her. No one ever saw her again. It is assumed that he killed her, or she ran from London after her watcher was killed.”
“Oh.” Buffy was visibly shaken. She had known that Angel did do bad things before his soul restoration, but she never really wanted to find out the specifics. She knew that she needed to ask him about this, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. [ Besides, he wouldn’t tell me anyway. ]
A few hours later, no one found anything. Buffy had gone out on patrol. Xander, Willow, and Giles were still researching. Willow spoke up. “Giles, I think this is hopeless. I am searching in the time frame that you told me, but I have nothing. There were reports of strange deaths and disappearances, but nobody named Cassandra was mentioned as one of the missing. Are you sure that Cassandra was from London?”
“That is what is generally believed by the watchers.” Said Giles.
“Hey guys, Cassandra doesn’t have an English accent. She sounds American.” Pointed out Xander.
“That doesn’t mean anything. Angel was originally from Ireland, and he doesn’t have an Irish accent.” Giles stated. “It is easy for one’s accent to change over a few hundred years.”
Willow continued to search the old articles. Something caught her eye. “Hey Giles, you said the name of the Slayer at that time was Mary Williams? Here is an article describing her disappearance.”
Giles looked up from the book he was looking through. “Read it.”
Willow started reading. “The headline says, ‘Mary Williams’ Disappeared’ The article says, ‘Mary Williams’, the daughter of prominent business man, John Williams, has disappeared. No one has seen her in a week and authorities are concerned that she is just another victim of the rash of violence that has befallen the Williams family in recent months. The first victim was the Williams’ younger child, Thomas, last spring. As reported, he was found murdered. No evidence was found linking anyone to the hideous crime. He was just the first. Over the last eighteen months, five members of the Williams’ family, including John Williams, has been horribly murdered. Until now, the one ones of the family that remained were the two eldest daughters, Mary and Clara. Mary, or Cassie, as she was called by her family and close friends, is now missing. Authorities are completely confounded. There has been no leads as of yet. With the recent violence against the Williams’ family, authorities question whether or not they will find her alive.’”
“That’s all that it says.” Willow said. Suddenly, she remembered something that was in the article. “Wait a second, the article said that she was called, ‘Cassie,’ by her family and close friends. Could that be short for Cassandra?”
Suddenly things started falling into place. “Oh my! This could be her.”
Xander was confused. “You mean, this vampire named Cassandra is really a Slayer named Mary Williams?”
“Exactly! It is falling into place now. Mary Williams’ family and watcher was killed by Angel over a course of about a year and a half. In her watcher’s diaries, it is mentioned that Angel would not attack Mary personally. He would kill off members of her family one by one.”
Willow shuddered. “Angel did that?”
“Yes Willow. Before Angel had a soul, he was just like all of the other vampires. A violent, viscous, animal.” Giles said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Anyway, in the last entry of her watcher, it is mentioned that Mary was going to go out that very night for a final battle of sorts. It never says how the battle ended up.”
Xander spoke up. “So, you think that this Mary Williams fought Angel, lost, and became a vampire?”
“That would explain why Cassandra is unusually strong for a vampire. She would have vampire strength plus Slayer strength. It would make someone incredibly strong.” Said Giles.
“What about her name?” Asked Willow.
“Let me take a look at something.” Giles fished out a book from underneath a large pile. “This is a book with biographical information about past Slayers.” Giles leafed through the book quickly. “Ah, here it is. It says in the book that Mary Williams’ middle name was Cassandra.” Giles put the book down and looked up at Xander and Willow. “It is not unusual for vampires to call themselves something different from what they were called as mortals. Sort of a way to separate themselves from their former life.”
“So, Mary could have started going by her middle name, Cassandra.” Said Willow.
“It would make since with the timeline. I believe we have found her.” Said Giles.
“Giles, if this vampire also has Slayer strength. Wouldn’t she be hard for Buffy to kill?” Asked Xander with a worried tone to his voice.
“Yes, I hope for Buffy’s sake that Angel is right about her, that she has a soul. If not, things could get really bad.” Said Giles.
Immediately, Buffy entered the library. “Hey guys, slaying was boring. No vamps tonight.” When Buffy saw Willow, Xander, and Giles’ worried faces she stopped. “What’s going on.”
Giles started. “Sit down Buffy. We have some information you need to hear.” He then proceeded to tell Buffy the things that they had just recently discovered.
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