Chapter eight – who does she love?
Angel was sitting at his desk when the doors opened. He looked up from his work and saw Buffy close the doors behind her.
“Hey” Buffy said with a weak smile. She didn’t know how angel would react.
“Hi” angel said to her, he was surprised that she was here. He wasn’t expecting her.
“You’re not busy are you?” Buffy asked him as walked further into the large office. She looked around the office. “Wow” she said, “it’s a lot bigger than your other place”
“Yeah” angel said, still unsure of why she was here.
Buffy looked at him. Ok maybe she should get right to the point. “Emmm” she started, she didn’t know how to start. “I wanted to apologise for how … ya know ... when I told you about Carlo …. It came out wrong” she said
Angel looked at her, “its ok” he said.
“No, no it’s not” Buffy said, “I shouldn’t have told you to like that.”
Angel thought for a moment. “Buffy, its ok. I know why you did. You were shocked, I get it, really I do” he said.
Buffy smiled weakly and nodded a little. She wandered over to the windows then looked over her shoulder at him. “How come your not dust?” she asked.
As she said this Spike walked into Angels office. “Cos pet I didn’t want to hear you bitch about it” he said with a smirk.
Buffy turned and saw spike, he looked as gorgeous as ever. She remembered when he used to look at her; it made her go weak at the knees. His eyes, his cheek bones ….. Buffy stood there starring then came out of her daydream. “Emmm hi” she said
“Hi pet” spike said softly.
Angel looked at spike, he had to spoil everything. He and Buffy were just about to have a proper conversation then Captain Peroxide had to come in a steal the moment.
Buffy looked at angel, “so … the you not dust thing” she said.
“Special glass” angel said. “Got it in my cars as well”
Buffy smiled, “Cars. You mean plural, like more than one?” she asked, she was very impressed.
“Yep” spike said. “Captain Forehead over here has a great big bunch of cars and won’t let me have one!” This was one of the things that pissed spike off at the minute. If he had his own car, he could drive over to Buffy’s and spy on her. Maybe spy on her wasn’t the right word to use. Watch her from a distance? Spike pondered this for a while as he watched Buffy who was looking fabulous.
“That’s because spike, you don’t work here” angel said
“Well peaches, I don’t need a job. I have you” spike said with a smirk.
Buffy smiled a little. She knew Spikes and Angels relationship wasn’t good but it was still funny to watch them.
“Now pet, what are you smiling at?” spike asked her as he turned his attention back to Buffy.
“Well you two act like an old married couple” Buffy said
with a grin.
Spike and angel didn’t reply to this, they just glanced at each other. Angel looked back at Buffy he was about to say something but spike got there first.
“Any way what you doin here love?” spike asked her.
Buffy turned her attention back to spike. “I came to apologise about the other day. I didn’t mean to tell you like that. Well I didn’t mean to tell you at all as I didn’t know you were alive, well un-dead, but … you know what I mean” she said. She was starting to babble and thought it would be best just to stop talking for a bit.
“You don’t have to be sorry about anything love.” Spike said. “As long as your happy now I suppose that I should be glad.”
Buffy didn’t say anything; she just looked down at the ground.
Angel watched Buffy. ‘Was she happy?’ he thought to himself.
Spike looked at her curiously. “Buffy” he said. This caused her to lift her eyes to look back at him. “You are happy aren’t you?” he asked.
“Yeah of course” Buffy said she sounded not very believable.
“Some how I don’t believe you pet” spike said.
Angel stood up and walked around his desk. He sat down on the other side. Buffy didn’t sound very happy.
“I …. Well ….. Lets just say married life isn’t as nice as I thought it would be” Buffy said.
Spike watched her. “Maybe its not marriage which is the problem maybe it’s the guy who your with” he said. He was unsure whether Buffy would shout at him or not.
“No” Buffy said softly. “He’s nice and I love him…”
Spike interrupted her, “but I thought you loved me” he said sounding hurt and a little confused.
“I’ll leave you two to it” angel said. He didn’t want to hear this. He loved Buffy more than anything but he couldn’t listen to spike try and win her back. He walked out of the office and closed the door behind him.
“Finally” spike said as he watched the door close behind angel. “Come and sit down” he told Buffy. He went over to a leather sofa that was near the back of the office and sat down on it. Angel office looked more like an apartment with all the leather arm chairs and the sofa. There was also a big conference table at the end as well. This company must be making a lot of money to have luxury offices like this.
Buffy went and sat down next to spike. She looked into his eyes which were like little pools of blue. Buffy sat uncomfortably on the sofa next to him. She rested her hands on her knees.
Spike could sense how uncomfortable she was. “Buffy” he started, “I know you, and your not happy. This could just be me being jealous or what ever but I want you to be happy.”
“I know” Buffy said. “Every things fine its just… now your back I’m confused. I did love you but then you went and I had to be on my own which was hard for while. But then I met Carlo and he loves me”.
Spike watched her facial expressions. She didn’t seem like a woman who was happily married. He reached out and held one of her hands in his own; he laced his fingers through hers.
Buffy felt the coldness of his hand against hers. His skin was so soft against hers; she looked down at their hands then back up at him.
“Buffy your not happy” spike said simply. He couldn’t bear to see her like this. It was like she was a completely different person.
A tear fell down Buffy’s face. “I can’t do this” she said, she let go of his hand and stood up.
“Do what?” spike asked. He stood up as well and looked down at her.
“Be around you” Buffy said quietly, “its too hard. You were gone and I had to move on, now you’re here and I can touch you but Carlo……”
Spike cupped her chin with his hand and gently lifted her head to look at him. “Your not his, you never were” he said.
Another tear fell down Buffy’s face. “No” she said quietly. “Please stop….. I can’t do this…. I can’t let you into my heart again” yet again another tear fell down her face. Thank god she was wearing waterproof mascara.
“I never left” spike said softly as he looked into his eyes. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips and he was surprised that she didn’t resist. He pulled away and looked at her.
Buffy opened her eyes, he still took her breathe away. She looked into his eyes. She was silent and didn’t say anything.
The couple stood there for a few minutes just starring at each other. Buffy didn’t no what to say, but she didn’t think she could say anything anyway. Her mind was pulling her in two different directions. One way was Spike, the other way was Carlo.
A ringing shattered the silence and brought buffy back to earth. She looked down and remembered her cell phone that was in her jean pocket. The ring tone was Avril Lavigne – nobody’s home. The tune filled the air until Buffy reached down and took the cell phone out and flipped it open.
“Hello” she said.
“Hi” Carlo said to her.
Oh god. Buffy thought to herself. What was she going to do, she had just kissed spike. She didn’t say anything.
“Is there a long line at the store or something?” Carlo asked.
“Huh? What?” Buffy asked confused.
“The store. Your buying food aren’t you” Carlo said to his wife.
“Oh yeah” Buffy said. She had forgotten about the excuse to get her out of the house. Now lying to her husband wasn’t a good start. One lie always leads to another then another. Then it just ends up as a viscious web of lies that you can never get out of. Buffy felt she wasn’t a very good wife. “Yeah there was lots of traffic, I might be a while”
“Ok” Carlo said. “Just checking your ok”
“I’m fine” Buffy said as she looked up at spike who was watching her every move.
“Well I might not be here when you get home. I didn’t get that job I was going for so I am going to have another look.” He said to her.
“Ok see ya later” Buffy said.
“Love you” Carlo said.
“Love you too” Buffy said to Carlo as she looked at spike. She flipped back the cell phone and replaced it in her pocket.
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