AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those of you about to embark on this little story... be warned.... this is pretty silly stuff. Pure... 100% FLUFF. No added fillers or perservatives.
You've been warned...
TEASER
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - MAIN ROOM
Spike is sitting in front of the TV flipping
channels like a mad man. Xander and the rest of
the Odd squad are in research mode.
SPIKE
Who is this poof?! I can't get rid of
him! He's on every bleedin' channel.
JORDY
You don't know who that is?
SPIKE
How the bloody hell should I know who
that is? What is this? A reality show
with people yappin' all the time?
XANDER
Oh he's a pretty important guy Spike.
I'm sure you've heard of him.
SPIKE
How do you know who he is? You can't
even watch the telly anymore.
XANDER
He's the President of the United States,
Spike. That's kind of a voice you don't
forget.
LIV
He's pretty popular around here. He used
to be governor of our state.
Spike tilts his head and watches the TV for a
moment.
PRESIDENT
(On TV. Filtered)
And in this time of great abundance...
can we really ask the children who go to
bed hungry if it's all right to pay $200
for a hammer? $600 for a toilet seat?
No! That is why in my final term I
promise that I'll be issuing reforms for
our milita-
Spike turns off the TV.
SPIKE
Talks a hell of a lot, doesn't he?
XANDER
He's a politician Spike. They're all a
bunch of...
Xander places his hand against the TV. He tilts
his head.
SPIKE
All a bunch of what?
The blood drains from Xander's face.
LIV
Mr. Harris?
Xander sits down and rubs his head.
SPIKE
What the hell is wrong with you?
XANDER
(weakly)
Vision.
MAYA
I thought they didn't cause you pain
anymore.
XANDER
They don't. Call Buffy.
SPIKE
What for?
XANDER
We need to track down an old friend.
Off the group's confused reaction we cut to:
EXT. WHITE HOUSE
TOBY(VO)
Did you see the reaction to his
statement last night?
INT. WHITE HOUSE WEST WING
Leo McGarry and Toby Zeigler walk briskly through
the entrance and through security.
LEO
I thought Norton and Vasquez's heads were
going to pop off.
TOBY
Do you think we have a chance?
LEO
I don't think we're going to run the
table if that's what you're asking.
TOBY
I'm not asking about the table, I'm
asking about half the senate going
ballistic on our asses because we're
going to make the largest cut in
military spending since...
LEO
We got angry people on both sides of the
fence. We just need to make them
understand that we are looking at
unnecessary spending.
TOBY
These are the guys who added a rider on
a deficit reduction bill for twenty
million dollars to study salmon
migration.
LEO
I'm sure it was very important study.
TOBY
You know what salmon do when they
migrate?
LEO
Swim upstream?
TOBY
This is what I'm saying!!
LEO
We'll address it at the staff meeting.
TOBY
Twenty million dollars!
LEO
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Leave me alone would
ya?
TOBY
Line item vetoes!
LEO
Later.
Toby walks off in a huff. Margaret, Leo's
assistant, is suddenly at Leo's side.
MARGARET
You don't have your pager.
LEO
No I don't. Why? You page me?
MARGARET
I've been paging you for the last twenty
minutes.
LEO
Which I would have known if I had my
pager. What is it?
Margaret gives Leo a wary look.
MARGARET
Don't kill the messenger Leo.
LEO
Oh why the hell not, Margaret?
MARGARET
General MacNamara.
LEO
Oh what does that blowhard want?
MARGARET
I don't know, but he's sitting in your
office.
LEO
Did he have an appointment?
MARGARET
No but...
LEO
But what? I'm a busy man. How many
appointments do I have today?
MARGARET
Lots but...
LEO
I know for a fact that at ten I have
three meetings scheduled. If I had a
smarter assistant, I'd probably be able
to whittle it down to two, but...
MARGARET
But he knew the phrase that pays...
LEO
The phrase that pays?
MARGARET
I'm not sure exactly what you call it.
LEO
What is the phrase that pays?
MARGARET
That there's an old friend from home
that he'd like you to meet.
Leo stops and gives Margaret a look of wonder.
LEO
He said that? How'd he...?
MARGARET
I don't know. He just did.
LEO
Where is he?
MARGARET
Waiting in your office.
INT. LEO'S OFFICE
General MacNamara sits in full dress uniform. He
addresses someone off screen.
GEN. MACNAMARA
You better be right about this.
VOICE(OS)
Trust me sir. I wouldn't have brought it
this far if...
Leo walks into the room. The General stands up.
LEO
Hank, you better have a good reason for
pulling a stunt like this.
GEN. MACNAMARA
Leo, I wouldn't do this if it wasn't
important.
LEO
How did you know about our...
GEN. MACNAMARA
I know a lot of things Leo. I know too
much for my own good.
LEO
So what's so important?
GEN. MACNAMARA
We have reason to believe that the
President's life is in danger.
Leo gives the general a look as though he's out of
his mind.
LEO
You're kidding me, right? Why are you
bringing this to me? Take it to the
President's security detail! It's their
job for crying out loud.
VOICE(OS)
Trust me Mr. McGarry...
Riley Finn steps up to the plate. He's gathered a
few more scars on his face, but he's still got
that clean cut look.
RILEY
The security detail isn't trained for
this kind of problem.
END TEASER
ACT I
INT. LEO'S OFFICE
Leo is looking at the general and Riley as though
they both have grown a second head.
LEO
Let me get this straight. A hush-hush
military group with no governmental
oversight that investigates and disposes
of boogeymen and monsters...
RILEY
Hostile Sub-Terrestials.
Leo give Riley a look and shakes his head.
LEO
...has received information that the
President's life is in danger from the
supernatural?
GEN. MACNAMARA
You heard us right, Leo.
LEO
Is this a joke Hank? 'Cuz I'm not
laughing.
RILEY
Mr. McGarry, I know this is hard to
believe, but a reliable source has
tipped us off regarding a potential
attack and it is important to act on
this.
LEO
And who exactly is this reliable source?
One of your hostile-sub whatevers?
The General and Riley squirm uncomfortably.
GEN. MACNAMARA
Well Leo...
The General gives Riley a look.
RILEY
It's a friend of mine.
LEO
A friend.
RILEY
Well... A friend... of my ex-girlfriend.
LEO
Oh well, that's just perfect.
GEN. MACNAMARA
(to Riley)
I told you this was a waste of time.
RILEY
Mr. McGarry, I've been working
undercover for the USA for over ten
years now. I've seen things that no
normal person should ever have to deal
with. I've violated every level of
protocol to bring you this information. Chances
are... My career is over. I know you
take your job seriously. Well so do I.
My job is to protect the United States
from hostile forces, and that's why I'm
here. Look... I know this guy. He's on
the level. He wouldn't steer me wrong.
LEO
I don't know whether or not to salute
you or shoot you.
The general rolls his eyes.
LEO
I want to meet him.
RILEY
I thought you might say that.
INT. MURAL ROOM
Xander is sitting in a chair, dressed in his suit
and carrying his collapsed white cane with a red
tip. Bonnie, one of the white house administrative
aides is checking in on him.
BONNIE
Is everything okay Mr. Harris? Can I get
you anything to read... I mean.. um...
XANDER
It's okay. I'm fine thank you.
BONNIE
Do you know who you are supposed to be
meeting with?
XANDER
I think they're coming right now.
BONNIE
What?
Leo, Riley and the General walk in behind Bonnie.
LEO
Bonnie, can we have a few moments
please?
Bonnie looks at Xander wondering how he knew they
were arriving. Xander just smiles in return.
BONNIE
Of course.
Bonnie leaves and closes the door behind her.
RILEY
Xander, this is Leo McGarry the White
House Chief of Staff. Mr.McGarry this is
Xander Harris he is...
LEO
The man who can see ghosts and goblins.
Xander gives Leo a grim smile.
XANDER
I think we can rule out the ghosts. And
goblins tend to smell, so we can
probably rule them out too.
Leo takes a second look at Xander
LEO
You're... you're blind?
XANDER
Not by choice.
LEO
Are you telling me a blind man has
'seen' the President of the United
States being assassinated?
XANDER
Take a look at your classical
literature, Mr. McGarry. All the great
seers were blind.
LEO
And what classical literature are we
talking about exactly?
Xander gives a sheepish grin.
XANDER
Okay. You got me. I've never read any
classical literature.
Leo rolls his eyes.
LEO
Why should I believe this guy?
RILEY
Xander, can you...?
Xander holds his hand out as if to shake Leo's
hand.
XANDER
Mr. McGarry, would you mind taking my
hand?
Leo looks at Xander suspiciously then grasps his
hand.
LEO
You're not going to get fresh with me
are...
Suddenly the room twists and we are....
INT. OVAL OFFICE
Secret Service detail is running everywhere.
SECRET SERVICE
Eagle is down! Eagle is down! Lock down
the building!
Leo and Xander stand in the middle of the room
holding hands. The secret service people are
ignoring them.
LEO
What the...
Leo tries to pull away but Xander tightens his
grip.
XANDER
Hold on.
LEO
What is this?
XANDER
This is what I saw. Look.
Xander points and Leo looks to see President
Bartlett lying on the ground, his eyes wide open
and looking dead. Blood flows over the presidential
seal on the carpet.
LEO
My God. Stop this. Stop this now.
Xander lets go of Leo's hand.
INT. MURAL ROOM
Leo has turned white as a ghost and is a little
wobbly. Riley helps him into a chair.
LEO
Jesus. What the hell was that?
RILEY
That's what will happen to the President
if we don't intervene.
LEO
My God.
GEN. MACNAMARA
I don't mind telling you Leo, I had to
change my pants after what that boy
showed me.
LEO
What are you? Some kind of human Tivo
that only shows horror films?
XANDER
Mr. spook-o-vision. That's me.
LEO
What was it? How do we stop it?
XANDER
Um... yeah. That's where we run into a
gray area.
LEO
How gray?
XANDER
Uh... Charcoal.
Leo groans and puts his head between his hands.
XANDER
Based on what I saw... I know that he
was alone when it happened. Or he was
with someone he trusts.
LEO
Trusts?
GEN. MACNAMARA
We could be dealing with a demon that
changed it's appearance and has taken on
the persona.
LEO
So it can be anybody?
RILEY
Virtually. Xander here can see...
LEO
I thought you were blind?
XANDER
It's a long story.
RILEY
A vampire and an incarnation of the
first evil ripped out his eyes
fulfilling an ancient prophesy giving
him a... second sight if you will.
XANDER
That would be the short version.
LEO
Uh-huh.
GEN. MACNAMARA
Leo, you understand that this has to be
kept under wraps?
LEO
What? That an illegally funded portion
of the military that fights the
supernatural has discovered a plot to
kill the president? Gee thanks for the
newsflash Hank.
GEN. MACNAMARA
I can have members of my team join the
protection detail.
LEO
No. That's going to cause too much
attention. Any sudden change of
personnel is going to get the rumor mill
started.
GEN. MACNAMARA
Leo, if we don't provide some kind of
additional protection... somebody who
understands the kind of threat we
face...
Riley coughs. The general and Leo give him a look.
GEN. MACNAMARA
Got a cold Agent Finn?
RILEY
It's just that Xander and I might have
an alternative to our team, General. One
that should be able to contain the...
issue.
LEO
Oh? And what exactly is this
alternative?
INT. BULLPEN
Liv, Maya and Jordy are getting a tour from Donna
Moss. The odd squad are dressed in their
traditional catholic school uniforms.
DONNA
So what school are you kids from?
LIV
St. Bufalari from Cape Kenneth, New
Hampshire.
DONNA
Really? The president's from there you
know.
MAYA
Well, yeah. He was our governor.
DONNA
Did you vote for him?
LIV
In our mock election. I actually voted
for Mickey Mouse. That's okay right? I'm
not going to kicked out or anything.
Donna gives Liv a smile.
DONNA
Your secret is safe with me.
LIV
(sotto)
Do you think it's her? No one can be that
perky.
MAYA
Her? Perky? Look in the mirror lately?
LIV
Shut up.
Jordy shakes his head.
JORDY
She's cool.
MAYA
How do you know?
JORDY
She smells human.
MAYA
Okay... can we say 'Eww'?
DONNA
So what kind of contest did you guys
win?
LIV
We wrote the best essays in our school.
DONNA
What was your essay on?
Liv is caught flatfooted.
LIV
Um... 'How cool is democracy'?
Jordy and Maya roll their eyes. Donna gives Liv an
odd look.
DONNA
Really. That's... interesting. Would you
guys like some key chains with the
presidential seal on them?
JORDY
Sure!
Maya leans into Liv's ear.
MAYA
(sotto)
Nice one Mugsy.
LIV
Shut up.
As Donna is handing out the key chains, Jordy gets
a confused look on his face and turns his head.
Donna looks at Jordy and then what he is looking
at which just happens to be a door closing.
DONNA
Something wrong?
JORDY
Uh. No. Thought I heard something.
Leo, Riley and Xander walk up behind Donna.
LEO
Donna.
DONNA
Hey Leo, did you meet our contest
winners?
LEO
Not yet, but I've just finished reading
their essays and talking to their...
Leo looks at Xander and Riley and shakes his head.
He quickly puts on a big fake smile.
LEO
Teachers, and I think we should do
something extra special for these kids.
DONNA
Like what?
LEO
I'd like them to stay the week. Give
them full access. Since Liv... Which one
is Liv?
LIV
That's me.
LEO
Since Liv was the the overall essay
winner she and Mr. Finn will be
shadowing the President all week.
DONNA
What?
LEO
As for Jordy and Maya, I'd like them to
interview the entire senior staff for
their school newspaper with Mr. Harris.
How's that sound kids?
Liv, Maya, Jordy and Donna are floored.
LIV
Uh...
DONNA
Shouldn't that go through Toby and CJ?
LEO
Would you work that out with them Donna?
I... I've got a couple of things going
on.
Donna frowns, but nods her head.
DONNA
Sure. Sure. Not a problem.
LEO
Miss Fontaine? Mr. Finn? Why don't you
come with me? Donna, why don't you make
arrangements with the senior staff?
DONNA
Right. Um. I'll be right back.
Donna turns and walks away.
DONNA
That must have been some essay.
Leo takes an appraising look at the Odd Squad.
LEO
So. You guys are going to save the
President huh?
Liv turns a shade of green.
LEO
You okay?
XANDER
Where's your bathroom?
LEO
Down the hall on the left.
Liv takes off like a shot holding her hand in
front of her mouth.
LEO
Please tell me that's the not the one
who's going to be guarding the
president.
RILEY
Uh... no sir.
XANDER
That's our big gun.
Leo groans.
LEO
Wonderful. Mr. Finn? Let's go get our
"big gun".
Riley and Leo walk after Liv.
MAYA
Let me get this straight. We're now
responsible for saving the life of the
President?
XANDER
Yep. Liv is going to play super-secret
service with Riley. We're going to
interview as many staff members as we
can and see if we can flush the killer
out.
MAYA
Us? We're all that stands from
protecting the free world? No secret
service? No big army guys with rifles?
XANDER
Just us.
MAYA
We're doomed.
JORDY
I think the vice-president's in good
health, right?
XANDER
Take it easy. We can do this. I've got
this sight thing. Jordy's got his
werewolf senses and...
Xander looks at Maya. Maya looks at Xander
sarcastically.
XANDER
And you've got an innate sense of comic
timing.
MAYA
Like I said: We're doomed.
END ACT I
|
|
|
|
Rave
Barbie Girl (Becca)
biscuit07
Filmtheory (Jim)
Malice (Jess)
MebbtheScribe (MichaelB)
Reset (Allie)
Shay (Marrisa)
somnambulist29 (Shea)
Stephanie Loss
Wendyness (Wendy)
Questions?Contact Us
|
|
All stories on this site have been archived with the authors' consent. Do not copy these stories for your own uses without the express consent of the author themselves. Buffy the Vampire Slayer TM and Angel TM are © UPN, WB, Fox and its related entities. All photos on the site are © UPN, Fox, Warner Bros, and/or their respective owners. No profits are being made by use of these images.
Powered with the assitance of eFiction.
|
|
|
