ACT III
EXT. CAPE KENNETH STREET
The Odd squad and Audrey are running top speed.
The standard forces of hell (vampires, demons,
etc.) are right behind them.
AUDREY
What the hell is that?
LIV
Jordy! Take point! Better get your game
face on!
Jordy grins. He partially transforms on the run.
AUDREY
Omigod! What is he?
Jordy's grin gets bigger, showing off his
"werewolf" teeth. Audrey pales.
JORDY
Where we headed?
LIV
Cemetery.
AUDREY
Are you nuts?!
Liv pulls out her pda/cell.
LIV
Squirrel to Moose! Squirrel to Moose!
The citizens of Pottsylvania ambushed
us! Heading toward cemetery!
AUDREY
This is insane!
MAYA
Shut up Audrey!
EXT. ENTRANCE TO THE CEMETERY
Jordy runs through the entrance and comes skidding
to a stop.
JORDY
Ah.. Liv?
The girls catch up to Jordy and look up.
AUDREY
Omigod! We're going to die!
ANGLE ON: ODD SQUAD'S POV
A line of demons on the horizon.
ANGLE ON: THE ODD SQUAD
LIV
Mauseoleum.
Maya and Jordy take off. Liv grabs Audrey by the
arm and drags her off.
AUDREY
Who put you in charge?
LIV
These guys are after you Audrey, not me.
Unless you want to lead them in a cheer,
I suggest you run.
ANGLE ON: MAUSEOLEUM
Jordy and Maya arrive first. Liv and Audrey are
coming up from behind.
LIV
Get it open! Get it open!
Jordy starts trying to bash the door open. It
won't budge.
JORDY
It's sealed!
Liv and Jordy start bashing against the stone door
together. Nothing doing.
LIV
Crap!
AUDREY
uh... Guys?
Liv looks around. The odd squad is surrounded. The
demons slowly move forward.
LIV
Double crap!
AUDREY
I told you this was a bad idea!
MAYA
Shut up Audrey!
AUDREY
We're all going to die!
JORDY
Distinct possibility.
Liv readys her battle axe and pulls out a stake
LIV
Maya. Audrey. Get behind me and Jordy.
AUDREY
This is going to suck!
MAYA
SHUT UP AUDREY!
AUDREY
Omigod! Omigod! Omigod!
The demons rush in. Liv swings her battle axe and
cuts throught the torso of the first demon, spins
and kicks back the next demon and stabs a vampire
in the chest dusting them.
Jordy snarls and dives into the fray. He is a blur
as he grabs the first charging demon and throws it
back against the others. He grabs the next
oncoming demon by the head and swiftly breaks his
neck.
Liv ducks and dodges a demon's kick; sweeps the
leg, and heaves her axe into the demon's head. She
pops up only to get a kick and two punches to the
head from a vampire. She drops back, throws the
stake into the vampire's chest, dusting him.
Three demons charge Jordy at the same time. They
knock him over and start beating the crap out of
him.
MAYA
Jordy!
Maya rushes forward.
AUDREY
What are you doing?!
Maya tries to attack one of the demons. The demon
stands up, grins a horrible grin. Maya tries to
punch the demon. The demon grabs her arm and
breaks it with one simple snap. Maya screams.
Liv looks over and sees the demon about to do a
killing blow on Maya. Liv throws her battle axe,
embedding it in the demons chest. Maya looks up at
Liv gratefully. Liv smiles and gets kicked by a
demon she didn't see coming.
Liv flies and bounces off the mauseoleum wall,
landing next to Audrey.
Jordy shakes off the two demons, grabs Maya and
meets up with Liv and Audrey. Jordy is limping.
JORDY
What now?
LIV
I... I don't know.
The demons all laugh and start coming in close.
SPIKE
Ahem. Excuse me...
All the demons turn and look at Spike, who is in
he process of lighting up a cigarette. A battle
axe leans up against his leg. As he speaks, he
picks up his axe and then walks past and into the
center of the demon horde.
SPIKE
I know there's a heavy bounty on the
bird's head... but just so you know? I'm
the one who's protecting her now. So if
you value your kibbles 'n bits, I'd
start walkin'.
DEMON
Who the hell are you?
Spike takes a drag of his cigarette and blows
smoke in one of the demon's face. The demon
coughs. Spike puts on his "game face" and raises the
battle axe to his shoulder.
SPIKE
The name is... Spike.
The horde of demons react in a mixture of awe and
fear.
DEMONS
Spike?... Did he say Spike?... *The*
Spike?... As in 'William the Bloody'?
SPIKE
So if any of you pooftas want a peice of
her, you've got to get through me first.
Anybody have a problem with that?
The demons all back off quietly and away from Spike
and the odd squad.
DEMONS
Uh... no. No problem. We were just
leaving... (etc.)
The demons disperse. Liv and Jordy fall to the
ground exhausted. One of the vampires approaches
Spike in awe. Spike looks at him with an annoyed
look.
SPIKE
What?
VAMPIRE
Uh... Can... Can I have your autograph?
Spike sighs.
SPIKE
No.
Spike swiftly cuts the vampire's head off, turning
him to onion soup mix. The remaining demons
quickly disperse. Some haul ass even.
AUDREY
That's it? I'm safe?
SPIKE
Sorry ducks. Those were just easily
swayed demons who subscribe to "Soldier
of Fortune" magazines. When whatever it
is comes after you... you'll know it.
AUDREY
(confused)
So... that means... what?
SPIKE
I'm your bodyguard by night, half-pint
will guard you by day. Better get used
to the idea love.
Audrey face is a mixture of revulsion and anger.
AUDREY
You? And Freakshow? Ugh! My life is
totally over!
Audrey stomps off in a huff. Liv and Jordy are
still huffing and puffing from the exertion of
protecting Audrey.
LIV
You're welcome!
JORDY
How are you?
MAYA
(Winces)
I think I broke my arm.
SPIKE
You two get her to a hospital. I'll take
Miss Drama Queen home after I do
something very important.
Jordy and Liv help Maya up.
LIV
What's that?
A wave of nausea crosses Spike's face. He bends over out of sight and starts making retching noises.
LIV
Oh...
More retching noises from Spike
LIV
Oh! Oh that's just disgusting...
The odd squad turn away and start walking. Spike continues to do his... well we won't go there.
END ACT III
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