Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy & Co. Joss Whedon and the WB do. No copyright infringement intended.
Author’s Note: This takes place in the second season after “When She Was Bad” but before “Reptile Boy”. It also splits off here from Buffy’s brief drinking incident in that ep.
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Part Three
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Buffy opened her eyes and groaned. Almost immediately she put a hand on her forehead and tried to duck her head under her arm. It'd been a very long time since she'd had a hangover and she'd forgotten just how bad they could be. She shut her eyes tightly and tried to curl herself into a ball but a hand on her stomach prevented it.
"Do you need to use the bathroom?" a soft voice asked as the hand helped her straighten up. Buffy groaned again and tried to wave the person away but the very movement made her sick.
"I'm not sure she can use the bathroom anymore..she's been there all night," a male voice said from above her. She flinched at the loudness of it. Waving her hand in the general direction of the directions, she let out a small whimper.
"Please..no noise. Make the little men go away," Buffy pleaded without looking up. The hand that was on her stomach shifted up to her back and then pulled her close to something soft and gentle. Had Buffy's head not been pounding she would have questioned what it was but at the moment it just plain felt good.
"How is she?" A deeper British voice asked. Giles..that was his name, Buffy remembered through the thick and very painful haze that had settled on her brain.
"Hung like a bear," the younger male voice, Xander replied. "Er..uh..she's hung-over that is."
"Xander," the oddly familiar female voice scolded lightly.
"Will?" Buffy moaned. She tried to open her eyes but even the gentle light of the library was far too severe for her eyes. She welded them shut again and tried to press her face against the softness that was holding her.
Willow gazed down at Buffy who was lying in her arms and smiled sadly, "I'm here, Buffy. It's all okay."
"That's okay, Will...I understand." Buffy murmured, a tear running down her cheeks. "I've accepted it and you're right..Xanders' right...."
Willow looked up at Xander who looked down at his shoes ashamed. He looked up again and then moved towards Buffy. He took her hands in his. "Buffy..it's me."
"Xander?" Buffy asked. "What..."
"Willow's alive," Xander said very softly, afraid to cause her more pain.
Buffy blinked and forced her eyes open. As the light flooded her brain and the pressure became intense, her world began to spin in dark circles but just before she allowed it to pull her back under, she saw.
"Oh God..Will."
* * *
"Hi, Jenny." Giles said, walking into the computer lab. He frowned as his hand grazed over one of the machines and then he moved quickly towards her desk.
"Rupert!" Calendar greeted cheerfully. She checked around to ensure that no students were present and then gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Hardly X-rated he thought ruefully. "So tell me..how is she?"
"Who? Buffy or Willow?"
"Well..both."
"Willow is recovering. They let her go home from the hospital yesterday and she's expected back at school Monday. She's in good spirits and her injuries seem to be mending well although I would surmise that she's a bit flustered by all the ruckus your American media has thrown upon her."
"They have a talent for that," Calendar replied. "And Buffy?"
Giles dipped his head and sighed. "I wish I could say. Since we took her home the night after we found Willow, she's been locked up in her room and she's not accepting visitors. I would have thought that Willow's reappearance would have dragged her out of her depression but it seems to have done exactly the opposite. She won't even speak to Angel."
"That's unusual. Have you talked to her mother?"
"Yes..briefly. Her parents are as worried as I am. This is quite abnormal. Admittedly Buffy has always taken injuries to her friends personally and she's been through a lot but she has been incredibly resilient."
"Maybe it's become too much. You did say she got drunk. That's not normal for her..even depressed. After the whole thing with the Master, she didn't go out and get plastered." Calendar reminded him softly as she offered him a mug of coffee. He thanked her and decided not to mention that he much preferred tea. She was trying to Americanize him so why not let her think she was actually succeeding. Really, what harm did it do?
Giles chewed his lip thoughtfully for a moment, "Apparently Buffy has a history with alcohol." His voice was soft and thoughtful. Calendar looked up at him quizzically so he continued on, "Her mother told me that back at her old school, she suspected that Buffy and her old friends drank a lot. She wasn't able to confirm it until Buffy came home drunk from a party one night."
"So what made her stop?"
"Merrick, her original Watcher, apparently. Mrs.Summers..er.. Joyce..told me that around the time Buffy started getting in trouble with the law..meaning her slaying and such..she also stopped drinking."
"Not a coincidence."
"No..I don't think so." Giles paced for a moment. "I rather suspect that as reluctant as Buffy is about her role as the Slayer, it actually gave her a purpose. That may have been what she needed."
"And now she has no purpose?" Calendar asked confused.
"No," Willow said, walking in with Xander, "Her purpose is still there. It's just the pain that's gotten worse."
* * *
Joyce sat on the bed next to Buffy, "Honey? Will you talk to me?" She reached out and placed a palm over Buffys' hand. The girl looked up at her and then looked away.
"There's nothing to talk about." Buffy replied. "I just don't feel like being around people right now." She stared over at the far wall and her eyes locked on a picture of she, Xander and Willow all tumbled on top of each other at the park. They'd been playing touch football that day and things had gotten a little wild and it had well, become tackle Xander-ball. They were all smiling and everything looked so simple and easy.
"Buffy, please..I'm worried..everyone is. Willow and Xander have been by repeatedly." Joyce pleaded. She put her hand on Buffy's cheek and turned the girl towards her. Buffy didn't bother jerking away but she didn't make eye-contact either.
"I'm fine. I just need a little time." Buffy replied in a perfect monotone.
Joyce leaned over and kissed Buffy on the cheek and then left the room. She stepped out in the hallway and looked over at Hank. He'd planned on going home the day after the funeral but Buffys' state had changed his mind. Now he wore the same perplexed and deeply concerned look that his ex-wife did.
"Nothing?" He asked.
She shook her head.
* * *
"I've tried. God help me, I've tried but all I end up doing is standing in her room watching her cry. She won't let me hold her or anything," Angel said softly. He shook his head, "Even when she was angry at me..even then she said something. Even then I felt a spark..of something. Anything. Not now."
Xander looked up at him from where he was perched upon the library table. Giles had scowled at him when he'd first seen the boy there but said nothing. "So what do we do? She's not in a good way, right? I mean..she's not even able to fight."
"No..that would be absolute suicide just like before." Giles replied.
"Um..she did it once. I remember. Me..stake..putting it through..lotsa dust," Willow reminded them.
"Oh right," Giles replied. "Well, until we can figure out to help her, we'll simply have to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't go out slaying or something else equally.."
"Stupid?" Xander put it. He slammed his fist against the table. "Dammit..this is my fault.."
Willow grabbed his shoulder, "Enough of that. It's not solving anything. Solutions, not problems." She stared deep into his eyes. Finally he nodded. "Okay then.."
The phone rang.
Giles eyebrow rose. Slowly he made his way over to it. "Hello?" There was a pause and then he said much softer, "Don't worry..we'll find her, I promise..it'll be alright. Don't worry. Bye." He hung it up and looked at the others.
It was Calendar who spoke first, "What is it? What's happened?"
"Buffy's gone..she must have slipped past her parents. They have no idea where she is."
Willow stood up, "We need to find her. Now."
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