Chapter 9 - Watcher
"How long have you loved him?"
Faith turned, smiled and shook her head. "How long haveyou loved her?"
"Aw c'mon pet, I'm only trying to get a handle on the whole Angel-You-Wesley thing."
"Not Long Spike."
"So forever?"
She laughed slowly. "Something like that."
"Bet it stung abit to see him all cuddly with the slayers sister."
"Bout as much as it stung you."
He raised his eyebrows. "That much... then you must be real into him love."
-----
"Hello Fred."
"Angel... I just wanted to..."-
He rubbed his forehead. "Check that everything was OK." She sounded nervous as she let out a short, high pitched laugh. "Everything's... complicated."
"As in, You don't know what shirt to wear complicated, or your son's going to end the world complicated?"
"You know something about Connor?"
"A little Angel. Not much. We haven't slept in days trying to decipher the manuscripts."
"We?"
"Huh? Listen Angel..."-
"You said we. Who's we?"
"Mr Giles and I." Fred shook her head as Rupert watched her face crinkle up. "You didn't know he was...-"
"Winifred; let me speak to him." Fred slunk to the sofa and handed him the phone. "Angel."
"Giles. What do you know about Connor? Is it to do with Dawn? How can it be stopped?"
Giles had spent the last six months digging up manuscripts in southern Mexico where he had found out from a familiar looking vampire about Cordelia and Wesley's death. Harmony had then helped him uncover prophecy after prophecy, becoming more involved with the search day by day. She had been a great help; but when Connor had found out that one of his once loyal minions was helping out a watcher; he had sent some boys over, who had totured and eventually killed her in her own home. "I know that your boy's going to stop at nothing to get her back. He'll tear you apart piece by piece, and unless you let her go back to him; unless you let him kill her - the only thing that will make him feel again - then he will kill your friends one-by-one until he gets to you... and then he'll kill you."
"He..."-
"Fred and I are coming to LA. I know you think that distancing her from this life will eventually save her; but she sees demons in Texas too."
As Angel replaced the receiver back; he felt a mixture of emotions, but a huge weight; that had been placed there since Fred had left; was finally lifted from his shoulders.
-----
"What now then?"
Oz looked at Willow. "What do you mean?"
"I want so badly to believe that we can do this; patch it up just like new. Last nite, I couldnt fall asleep because I was thinking about you and I woke up early because I was thinking about what I wanted to say to you today." She spluttered. "I had it all worked out in my head Oz. It sounded so perfect and so... but now the words just wont come out. It's not because I'm scared about how you'll react, I know you love me; I know you've always loved me. But I'm just so scared to give you my heart in case you decide to walk away again."
Oz remained silent for a moment before walking away.
-----
Faith watched the cars going past her window, the daylight slowly ebbing away. She felt as though another day, in which they could have figured something out; was wasted.
She had stopped expecting things from Angel. She had stopped thinking that he owed her anything. She had stopped caring whether or not the world was going to end when she had seen him hold Dawn the way he did, and for the first time in however many years, she just wanted out. Out of the memory-filled hotel, out of LA, out of her body and her life. She just wished she was ordinary, that there were no demons and vampires; and she led an ordinary life. B' had wanted out so many times, now Faith understood how loving Angel could make that so easy.
There was a knock on her door and she opened it a crack to see Oz standing there, confused and more than a little sad. She let him in.
"Sorry, I just didn't know where else to go."
"That's OK Oz. Take a seat." She sat down on the bed and he joined her looking at his feet. "So... what's happened?"
"Ever get that feeling; when someone's holding you; looking at you; that they really want you to be someon else?"
"Are we talking hypothetically or Willow?"
"Not long ago, there was just loving her. There was just wanting and needing and forgetting the fights. While I was apart from her, I missed her so much, and I just forgot that I didn't mean as much to her as she meant to me. I forgot that she more easily forgot about me; about everything we went though together. She fell in love with someobe else. She found the love of her life. For me...there was only her. I mean...of course there were others but; she was the only person I ever loved."
"You think that when you look at her she wants to see Tara?" Faith put her hand on his. "I know how you feel."
"Angel right?"
She laughed. "I don't know what she feels when she looks at you. You might be right but Willow knows that Tara's gone. Maybe she has always wanted you too."
"I feel second best. Part of me just wants to take her up in my arms but I'm stopped by this sensation down the back of my neck. I know I'm hurting her. I know I hurt her so much but I don't think she realises how much she's..."-
"Hurting you?" Faith took a deep breath. "Angel says we can't be together because Connor will kill me. The strange thing is, I'm not scared of Connor. I'm not scared what he'll do to me. I'm scared of Dawn, and this crazy little power game she's got going on and I'm scared of losing Angel. I'm not scared to die. It's gunna happen one day."
"I don't want to promise things..."-
"And never deliver..."-
"I don't want to hurt her...-"
"I just want him to realise that I love him."
"I'm just always so lonely." Oz sighed.
"I know."
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