Disclaimer: I have no rights to any Cole Porter song. I'm not making any money off this, so it shouldn't make a difference. Right?
ACT II
INT. THE LUCKY SEVEN BAR
Willy is setting up shop behind the bar. Oz, Lorne and Booker
sit at a table with their respective drinks.
OZ
You hired Willy as your bartender?
LORNE
Yep.
OZ
He's a weasel. He used to run a demon bar
back in Sunnydale.
LORNE
Willy the Weasel. I like that. It's got a
"Rat Pack" quality to it.
BOOKER
You ever hang out in a demon bar kid? All
the bartenders are weasels.
LORNE
Plus he makes a mean sea breeze.
OZ
This is going to be a demon bar?
LORNE
Nope... a Demon Casino.
OZ
Are you nuts?
LORNE
One thing I've learned over the years
kids... The demons love to play the slots.
OZ
(to Booker)
Does this seem odd to you?
BOOKER
Been around as long as I have white-bread,
nothing surprises you.
LORNE
It'll be great. Demons will have a place to
throw down their cash, the humans will think
it's a underworld casino theme. That's the
other thing I know: Humans love a casino
with a theme.
OZ
Until the demon clientele eats the human
clientele.
LORNE
Don't be a wet blanket Poochie. I've got
that angle all covered.
BOOKER
You got something about having a regular gig
White-Bread?
OZ
I've got something about people I don't
trust.
(to Lorne)
You made him sing right? You got a vibe on
what he is?
LORNE
I know exactly what he is, Pooch. He's an
opportunist. He'll fit in well here. Trust
me. Now if I remember correctly, we're
supposed to be running a rehearsal.
OZ
You found other musicians that passed the
auditions?
LORNE
Not quite.
INT. LUCKY SEVEN LOUNGE - STAGE
Oz and Booker are standing next to Lorne with a doubtful look.
Lorne is all grins.
OZ
This? This is the band?
BOOKER
They smell funny.
LORNE
Best musicians in Vegas.
OZ
But they're... dead.
ANGLE ON: The band.
Apparently Lorne has brought in zombies to fill in the
remaining bandmembers including a drummer, bass player and
keyboardist.
LORNE
Technically. They're undead. But trust me
kid, you can't get them any better.
(sotto)
They played for Frank, Sammy and Dino at the
Sands.
OZ
Where'd you dig them up?
LORNE
The desert's full of these guys. You can't
dig a hole in Vegas without finding a bass
player. Let's see, we got Charlie on
Drums...
Charlie waves his drumstick from behind his drumset and
responds with zombie like groan.
LORNE
Ron on bass.
Ron sits on a stool with his electric bass. He nods and grunts.
LORNE
And Floyd over there is on keyboards and
piano.
Floyd sits behind his piano and wiggles his fingers as he
waves. Three of his fingers fall off on the piano playing a
couple of notes. Floyd looks down at his fallen fingers,
crestfallen.
LORNE
Hmmm. Looks like we need some duct tape.
BOOKER
What about the smell?
Lorne pulls out a couple cans of aerosel air freshener.
LORNE
You like pine or lemon fresh scent?
INT. LUCKY SEVEN BAR
Willy is busy setting up the bottles of booze and glasses. We
hear the door to the bar open. Willy looks over to the side and
continues on with his work.
WILLY
Sorry, if you don't work here, we're not up
and running yet.
VOICE
Not here for drinks.
ANGLE ON:
A group of six men.
MAN
We're the welcome wagon.
WILLY
Welcoming us to what?
The men all vamp out.
VAMP
Dinner.
WILLY
I... uh... We don't carry any human blood,
but I think we might have some otter in the
fridge.
VAMP
That's okay. You'll do.
Willy laughs. So do the vampires. Willy makes a run for it. The
vampires run after him.
INT. MAIN CASINO
Willy runs past all the slot machines and blackjack tables. The
vampires are close behind him.
WILLY
Boss!! Oh Boss-man!! We got some angry
customers here!
INT. THE LOUNGE
The band is playing, Lorne is singing.
LORNE
Like the beat beat beat of the tom-tom
When the jungle shadows fall
Like the tick tick tock of the stately clock
As it stands against the wall
Oz stops playing the guitar and cocks his head to one side.
LORNE
Like the drip drip drip of the raindrops
When the summer shower is through
So a voice within me keeps repeating you,
you, you...
(stops singing)
You got a problem with Cole Porter, Rover?
OZ
Willy's in trouble.
Willy bursts through the doors and slams them shut behind him.
WILLY
We got trouble! Vampires! And they're
pissed!
Oz runs to the the doors. He and Willy start barricading as the
vampires pound against it. Lorne pulls out his cellphone and
dials a number.
LORNE
(On Cellphone)
Dorothy? Sweetie? Did you pay that bill to
the sisters? No?
Lorne hangs up.
LORNE
Fudge.
BOOKER
What do we do now, Greenie?
LORNE
You wouldn't happen to have super strength
and an over abundance of wooden stakes on
you, old man?
BOOKER
No. Not today. Not tomorrow for that matter
either.
Lorne starts dialing another number.
LORNE
Well then. I guess we better call security.
(On phone)
Hello? Bluefish? Need a little help here
outside of the Lounge.
The vampires punch through the door.
LORNE
When? Well now would be kind of nice.
EXT. THE CASINO - ENTRANCE TO THE LOUNGE
The vamps are beating the crap out of the door.
VOICE(OS)
Half-breeds.
The vamps turn to see:
ANGLE ON:
Illyria stands before a row of one-armed bandits.
ILLYRIA
Your presence will not be tolerated. Leave
now or be destroyed.
The vamps all laugh heartily. Illyria cocks her head to the
side.
ILLYRIA
So be it.
END ACT II
A/N: More to come. Don't know when, but more is to come.
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