ACT I
INT. LUCKY SEVEN BAR
Lorne pours himself a sea breeze. The old man from the teaser
sits on the bar stage playing a sad soulful tune on his sax.
LORNE
Sure you don't want anything kid? Burger?
Scotch? Sea Breeze? Maybe some Kibbles and
Bitz?
OZ
I'm a vegetarian and I don't drink.
LORNE
Kid... That's just sick.
OZ
Just my way.
LORNE
So... You going to tell me your life story,
or do I have to guess?
OZ
Not much to tell.
LORNE
Werewolf without a story? Ah, I know better
than that. Let's see... Boy meets girl. Boy
turns out to be a werewolf, falls in love
with said girl. Boy cheats on girl and goes
on a journey of "self-discovery", comes back
home and finds out girl's now a lesbian.
Goes on another journey of self-discovery
going from country to country, gig to gig
and ends up here. Sound about right?
OZ
Not bad. Can you bend spoons too?
LORNE
Only between my knees. I'm not psychic, just
anagogic.
OZ
Gesundheit.
LORNE
Not a sneeze kitten. It's who I am. You sing
or play a tune, I get a look into your soul,
your history and your destiny.
OZ
Handy talent.
LORNE
Allows me to find the real talent and bypass
the crackheads. So tell me why I should hire
you when three days out of the month you
prefer to eat your guitar than play it.
OZ
I don't transform, anymore.
LORNE.
Really? I missed that. Sing a little
something for me.
OZ
Yeah. I don't sing.
LORNE
Humor me.
OZ
(singing)
I'm a little teapot, short and
stout...
LORNE
Okay, okay... sorry about that. Listening to
stoners and slackers all day you tend to
tune things out.
Oz motions to the the Old Blind Man playing his saxophone.
OZ
What's his story?
LORNE
Booker? Hmm. That's a tough one.
OZ
Why's that?
LORNE
He's a blank slate. Damn good saxophonist,
but his soul and destiny? No idea.
The music stops playing.
BOOKER
I'm sitting right here, man. If you and
white-bread there want to know something
about me just ask.
Lorne looks at Oz. Oz shrugs. Lorne shrugs.
LORNE
What's your story old man?
BOOKER
None of your damn business.
Booker goes back to playing the saxophone. Lorne chuckles.
OZ
Did he just call me "white-bread"?
LORNE
I like him. He's got spunk
OZ
Man without a destiny or a past? Sounds like
you're taking a bit of a risk.
LORNE
Like hiring a Werewolf for a guitar player?
Ha! You kill me poochie. As for Booker, well
I like a little mystery. And risk? Well,
I've taken a lot of those.
OZ
Like what?
LORNE
Look at me kid. I used to be a sensitive
Pylean from another dimension. When a portal
opened up to this place, I jumped for it. I
started off as a saloon keeper in LA. Then
ran around with a bunch of demon hunters for
a bit. Then I became the head cheese of the
biggest and evillest entertainment
management group ever made.
OZ
Ford Modeling agency?
LORNE
Close. I won't go into details, but let's
just say me and my friends had a little
falling out with the firm.
OZ
Falling out?
LORNE
Okay. More like... burned the place to the
ground.
(Off Oz's inquisitive look, Lorne shakes his
head.)
Long story with no third act. So I left LA
and laid low until the whole thing blew over
and once the coast was clear, I took the
money I had coming to me from my days as a
Vegas star and bought this fine
establishment.
OZ
Quite a story.
LORNE
You're telling me. So here's the deal,
Rover: I let you in on the ground floor of a
new entertainment enterprise, you get a
paycheck, a room, all the milkbones you can
eat and we can get it... health insurance.
OZ
What's the catch?
LORNE
Not to be pushy kid... but all this running
around you're doing? It's getting you
nowhere. Stick with me kid, you'll be going
places.
OZ
You saw something about me, didn't you?
Lorne smiles, takes a puff of his cigar and blows a smoke ring.
LORNE
Sorry poochie. I only give out destiny
readings to bona fide employees.
Lorne pulls out a hotel key ring for room 303 and tosses it Oz.
LORNE
No Pressure. Stay the night. Gratis. on Moi.
Oz looks at the key for a second or two.
OZ
What about all the little soaps and
shampoos?
LORNE
Free of charge.
OZ
I'm in. When's rehearsal?
LORNE
Tomorrow night at seven.
Lorne smiles as Oz pockets the key and heads out of the lounge.
Booker stops playing.
BOOKER
White-bread staying on?
LORNE
What's it to ya old man?
BOOKER
Just seems to me you've got a strange way of
picking people to hang around you.
LORNE
Like you?
BOOKER
Now why you have to go and get all personal
like that?
LORNE
Shut up and play old man.
BOOKER
Shut up and play. Shut up and play. Think I
would have better things to do than throw
down with a demon and a werewolf.
LORNE
Booker...
BOOKER
All right. All right. Don't get your panties
in a twist.
Booker goes back to his playing his sad soulful song and Lorne
hangs back and listens. A figure wearing cheezy clothes and hat
steps out from the shadows of the lounge and takes a seat at
the bar.
FIGURE
Hired the werewolf huh?
LORNE
What's it to ya?
FIGURE
No reason. Just knew about him way back
when.
LORNE
You looking for a job?
The figure turns around and looks at Booker. It's WILLY.
WILLY
Yeah. I hear you're looking for a bartender?
INT. DARK OFFICE
A dark figure of a man faces the window looking out onto the
strip. A beautiful red-haired woman sits on his lap, running
her fingers through his hair. A large bulky man, SPENCER enters
the room.
SPENCER
Mr. DeMarco?
MAN
Do not call me that.
The man's voice is deep with multiple tones. Inhuman.
Spencer shudders in response.
SPENCER
Sorry... I've gathered more information
regarding the Lucky Seven. It looks like
they've begun the staffing process. From
what I can tell he's starting off with the
band.
MAN
Of course he would. He's a singer. Is that
all?
SPENCER
Looks like his crew isn't quite human.
MAN
How so?
SPENCER
The guitar player? Werewolf.
MAN
Really? That was... unexpected.
WOMAN
Should we notify the others?
MAN
No darling. Not now.
(to Spencer)
Send the welcome wagon.
SPENCER
But, I...
MAN
Send. the. welcome. wagon.
Spencer shudders again.
SPENCER
Yes, sir.
Spencer, chagrined, walks out of the office.
WOMAN
Sweetie... what's this all about?
MAN
Karma, baby. Karma.
END ACT I
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