Chapter 6 - The Sister
Spike knew that everyone he lived with other than Faith was naive. They acted like love was all about the myth of that warm fuzzy feeling you get inside when you think about them, that all the little touches drove them wild, that they felt right in the other's arms and all that cliché shit. He knew however, that that wasn't love; that was people trying to sugar-coat the fact they were horny, and that their senses and hormones were going wild, while they tried to make out everything was shiny and happy-ever-after to everyone else.
Spike knew that love hit you at the most unexpected and random of times, and often you didn't even realise it'd happened.
Like now; as he looked for her around the LA streets. He knew she was in deep shit when he brought her back. Willow felt betrayed. Xander felt elated. Angel felt as though the world was about to swallow him up, he didn't care what they would say when she returned. He didn't care if the shouted and screamed and cried. He only cared if the tried to hurt her.
And for the first time in years; he realised that it wasn't because he'd promised her sister. It wasn't because he missed Buffy and felt guilty. It was because suddenly he was in love again, with this weak vamp; this emotionally unstable little tyke; the little girl he'd watched grow up into a somewhat beautiful and amazing young woman.
He wanted her. He had done ever since she had arrived back, all scared and cold and lost. He didn't understand how she could be so confident and hot and at home when she was also all of the opposites.
She wasn't her sister. She wasn't a slayer or a beautiful blonde who had always had the world on her side and that was why she had done what she did for the first man who had paid her the slightest bit of attention. He could only feel sorry that that man hadn't been him.
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She sat outside in the cold morning mist. Crouched beneath a large wall, she shielded herself from the rising sun. Closing her eyes and knowing that soon she'd have to make her way back to a life she had always thought she wanted.
If she had wanted that so much then why did she find it so hard to leave her memories of Connor behind on the sidewalk.
"DAWN!"
"Spike?"
"Get inside love, or do you feel like burning up?"
-----
Dawn wasn't as much trouble as Buffy had been. She wasn't as unpredictable. She wasn't as Buffy-like and Angel wasn't in love with this "Summers Bitch".
"Jeez Angel. Talk to me!"
He turned to Faith and sighed. "I think I've said all that I can Faith. What do you want me to say? That I'm over Buffy, that I'm over Cordy?; That I'm ready for a relationship? I can't. I won't do that to you. I won't let myself be with you. If I do that do you know what will happen? You'll die Faith. Connor will see that you're my weakness and he'll kill you just like he did the others."
"I just want an indication of what I am to you."
"What you are?" He held her shoulders. "You are everything Faith. And thats whay I can't let him see it."
"If he can read you in the same way that Willow can the..."-
He cut her off by kissing her gently on the mouth, running his hands down the small of her back he sighed; knowing how wrong what he was doing was. Knowing that Connor would be by as soon as he could find the time to kill off the only other thing that made his life bearable.
He pulled from her and walked away, locking himself in his office without so much as another word.
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