ACT II
EXT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - FRONT DOOR
Spike is hammering on the door. Jordy opens it with a straight
face.
JORDY
Can I help you?
SPIKE
You better if you bloody well want to live!
JORDY
Is there a problem?
SPIKE
I'm looking for Xander, and if you value
your life you won't slam the door in my
face.
JORDY
He's not here.
SPIKE
Where is he?
JORDY
Yeah... You know what? Not going to tell
you.
SPIKE
Why the bloody hell not?
JORDY
Not my style.
SPIKE
Do you know who I am?
JORDY
A vampire who's watched too much Monty
Python?
SPIKE
The name's Spike. I'm a vampire with a soul.
A good vampire.
JORDY
Oh... Why didn't you say so?
Spike visibly relaxes.
JORDY
Xander told me exactly what to do if you
showed up.
Jordy slams the door in Spike's face.
SPIKE
Bloody Hell!
INT. FONTAINE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN
Lucy is cleaning up the plates as Xander talks on his cell
phone.
XANDER
So what did you do?
(listens... then chuckles)
Okay. Good. Check with Pongo to make sure
it's safe and then let him in. We'll be
right there.
Xander hangs up the phone.
LUCY
What was that about?
XANDER
Looks like the expert I was looking for
dropped by for a visit.
LUCY
Who is he?
XANDER
Spike.
LUCY
Spike? Sounds like a gay porn star.
XANDER
He's a Vampire.
(Off Lucy's reaction)
With a soul. Before that he had a long and scary
relationship with Drusilla before he
joined our team.
Xander reaches for his coat and puts it on.
LUCY
Vampires can have souls? That makes a
difference?
Lucy puts on her coat.
XANDER
In this guy's case, just barely.
(sees Lucy with her coat on)
Where do you think you're going?
Lucy walks out the back door.
LUCY
With you.
XANDER
I don't think so.
LUCY(OS)
Try and stop me, Sparky!
Xander shakes his head and follows her out the door.
INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - KITCHEN
Jordy and Pongo sit back as Spike rummages through Xander's
refrigerator.
JORDY
(sarcastic)
Please. Feel free to make yourself at home.
SPIKE
So who exactly are you?
JORDY
No one of consequence.
SPIKE
Got bit a of a mouth on you, don't you kid?
JORDY
Yep.
SPIKE
How do you know Xander?
JORDY
I'm his ward. But not in the Batman-Robin
homosexual context.
Spike moves to a different section of the fridge.
SPIKE
(frustrated)
Don't you guys keep any blood on tap for
guests?
JORDY
Yeah... because that's an everyday shopping
list kind of thing.
Spike pulls out one of Jordy's bottles of potions.
SPIKE
(uncorking it)
What's in th... whew!
JORDY
The taste is... pretty much the same.
SPIKE
Bloody hell. You drink this stuff?
JORDY
Not by choice.
SPIKE
My eyes won't stop watering.
ANGEL(OS)
Never thought I'd see the day you'd have a
good cry.
Spike looks up to see...
CUT TO:
ANGEL standing in the main room flanked by Liv and Maya with
confused looks on their faces.
SPIKE
Day's not over yet, Nancy-boy.
LIV
Who's that?
JORDY
That's Spike. He's a vampire with a soul.
Who do you have?
MAYA
Angel. Vampire with a soul.
LIV
(to Angel)
I thought you said that this was a rare
thing.
ANGEL
Well...
PONGO
It is certain.
Angel jumps at the sight of Pongo.
LIV
(annoyed)
I didn't ask you!
ANGEL
What is... that doing here!?
JORDY
That's Pongo the wonder puppet.
SPIKE
What's the matter? 'Fraid of wee little
puppet man?
LIV
(sotto)
I know how you feel.
ANGEL
I'm not afraid of puppets!
SPIKE
Ahh... That's no way to treat wee little
puppet man. Pongo, go give Angel a hug.
PONGO throws his arms out wide and runs to Angel.
PONGO
Yes! Definitely!
ANGEL
Oh come on.
Angel winces in disgust as Pongo throws his arms around Angel's
waist and places his head against Angel's hip. Spike guffaws.
ANGEL
(to Spike)
I hate you.
SPIKE
Feeling is still mutual.
Xander and Lucy enter the Main Room from the back entrance.
XANDER
All right, Spike! What are you doing here...
Xander sees Angel for the first time and stops in his tracks.
XANDER
With... him.
SPIKE
I'm with myself. He's just along for... What
are you doing here?
ANGEL
(greeting)
Xander.
XANDER
(greeting)
Dead boy. Somebody want to explain why there
are now TWO vampires in my house?
LIV
He said he had a soul.
XANDER
Did you check?
MAYA
How are we supposed to check if he has a
soul? Give him a prostate exam?
Xander shakes his head.
XANDER
Pongo?
PONGO
Yes. Definitely.
ANGEL
(to Pongo)
You can stop hugging me anytime now.
Pongo reluctantly lets go. Xander walks toward Angel and the
rest of the group.
XANDER
I thought you were dead.
ANGEL
After we destroyed the Circle of the Black
thorn, I went underground. I thought it best
to let everyone think I was dead.
LIV
Circle of the Black Thorn?
MAYA
Sounds like a bad movie starring Christopher
Walken.
ANGEL
They were an elite demon society. Wolfram &
Hart's instruments of evil on earth.
SPIKE
Used to be the most powerful group for
badness on this plane of existence.
Xander catches a whiff of Angel.
XANDER
Whew! Speaking of badness, exactly what
ground were you under?
ANGEL
Been living on my own for some time now. I
haven't had the resources that some people
had.
SPIKE
Hey, that was your choice. Me?
Spike pulls out a necklace with a weird sort of charm on the
end.
SPIKE
Picked up something from the Liz Taylor
collection. Keeps me off their radar.
XANDER
Well I have a pretty good idea of why you're
here, but I'd like to know how you found out
about Drusilla's latest adventure.
Spike pulls out the doll that was in his front seat of his car
and tosses it on the table.
SPIKE
Got invited. One of Drusilla's favorite
dolls with a postmark from Cape Kenneth.
JORDY
Well that's not creepy in the least.
XANDER
Do you know why she's here? Or where she is?
SPIKE
Was hoping you might be able to tell me
that.
ANGEL
I can hazard a guess.
Angel pulls out his own little trinket.
ANGEL
Had this made a few years back. Keeps track
of my descendants. About a month ago it lit
up like a house on fire and led me here.
SPIKE
Dru turned someone?
XANDER
Yeah. A kid name Brad Valentine.
Spike and Angel exchange a look.
XANDER
What?
ANGEL
Dru never chooses someone at random.
SPIKE
She's a bit picky about who she turns.
Xander gives him a look.
SPIKE
What's that look supposed to mean?
XANDER
Nothing. Anyhow, Giles did the research
thing and came up with a prophecy where he's
supposed to hook up with this "Consul of
Sacal", become their champion and unleash
hell on earth.
SPIKE
Ah... Hell on earth. That old chestnut.
XANDER
Do you guys know anything about the Consul?
SPIKE
Nope.
ANGEL
Rumors, really. Supposed to be behind every
major evil event that has ever happened.
What can you tell us about this kid?
MAYA
Star athlete.
JORDY
Major ego.
LIV
5'11". Blond. Dated the entire cheerleading
squad. Favorite Color: Blue. Favorite Movie:
Bloodsport...
Maya rolls her eyes.
LIV
What?
MAYA
When was Brad on the cover of Tiger Beat?
LIV
Shut up.
ANGEL
What about his family?
LIV
No brothers or sisters.
MAYA
I think his parents are divorced. He just
lives with his mom.
LUCY
I met his Mom a couple of times at the PTA
meetings. She always creeped me out.
XANDER
Demonic?
LUCY
Stepford.
ANGEL
What about the father?
LUCY
I think they divorced a long time ago. I've
never met him.
JORDY
I think he's be a lawyer. I remember him
bragging one time about his dad being a
senior partner.
Spike and Angel visibly react.
XANDER
Somebody been slipping caffeine into your
pig's blood?
Lucy, Maya and Liv make looks of disgust.
XANDER
You guys seem a little jumpy.
SPIKE
What's this bloke's name?
XANDER
Brad Valentine.
LIV
Bradley Hart Valentine.
SPIKE
Bloody hell.
ANGEL
Could be a coincidence.
LUCY
What is?
ANGEL
That demonic law firm we were talking about?
One of the senior partners goes by the name
"Hart".
XANDER
Pongo? Is Brad connected to Hart?
PONGO
Reply Hazy. Ask again later.
XANDER
Which is puppet speak for "I have no
freakin' clue".
SPIKE
What's with puppet man here?
XANDER
Remember that eight ball you guys gave me?
That's the eight ball.
A/N: Confused? Check out Closure sometime.
ANGEL
Weird.
LIV
Tell me about it.
MAYA
So what does this have to do with the
vampire chick?
ANGEL
I don't know.
SPIKE
I do.
Everyone looks at Spike.
SPIKE
Blood.
XANDER
What? You hungry?
SPIKE
(pointing at Angel)
No, I'm talking about his grandsire and my
great-great grandsire.
ANGEL
The Master.
JORDY
You guys are related to Lee Van Cleef?
Everyone gives Jordy a look of confusion.
JORDY
What? Too obscure?
Xander shakes his head in amusement.
XANDER
The Master was a vampire.
ANGEL
One of the oldest vampires who ever existed.
SPIKE
Angel, Dru and Me? Direct descendants.
LIV
And now Brad.
MAYA
Man, this rabbit hole just keeps getting
deeper and deeper.
LIV
What should we do?
XANDER
We need to find out more about Brad's family
and background.
MAYA
Hey Liv, where's that issue of Tiger Beat?
LIV
Shut up!
ANGEL
Spike and I will track down Dru. She's the
only one who can give us any kind of
information on why this is happening.
SPIKE
You wouldn't happen to know of any abandoned
gothic mansions in town? Maybe an abandoned
factory?
XANDER
Liv, I need you to get more personal
information about Brad and his family.
LIV
How am I supposed to do that?
MAYA
I've got an idea.
INT. VALENTINE MANOR - FRONT DOOR
Mrs. Valentine, your typical rich woman with lots of plastic
surgery, opens the front door to See Xander, Lucy, Maya and
Liv. Maya and Liv are dressed up like cheerleaders. Liv is
obviously not happy about it.
MAYA
Hi Mrs. Valentine! My name is Haley. I
talked to you earlier about putting together
a memorial for Brad?
Maya sees that Liv is not in the moment. She elbows Liv who
immediately puts on a fake smile.
END ACT II
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