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Reviews for Secrets Exposed

Violet SS	07/14/04 - 11:34PM	6: Protecting Through Sacrifice	Signed
Thumbs up on the Angel and Spike banter--had me laughing. Interesting thought by Angel at the end of the chapter re Buffy's relationships. Your exposition is great, but I would suggest breaking those long paragraphs into digestible chunks to give punch to your different points. That may keep the reader from scanning through the exposition to get to the dialogue. (And you have to know, from my writing, that I'm a big fan of the exposition). Author's Response: I want you to know that I have taken your suggestions regarding the length of my expositions to heart. I have spent a good amount of time breaking some of the longer paragraphs up. My story is definitely the better for it. Thanks for the constructive review.

Violet SS	07/14/04 - 11:29PM	5: To Date, Stake, and Hunt	Signed
This was great. Dawn's demure response to Connor's awe at her looks was perfect. The excuses she made were hilarious. And you had me hoping that Connor would just spit out what he was thinking. I also liked the little bit of Connor reflection at the end. Author's Response: I hoped her responses were funny. And I was a bit unsure of leaving in the reflection, so I'ts nice to know that you liked it.

Violet SS	07/12/04 - 07:46PM	4: Love’s Bitch; The Morning After	Signed
Hiya. So a little too much review / reflection for my taste, but you applied your poetic style and made it lovely. A couple of comments. 1) I'm glad Buffy realizes she's screwed up as far as romance goes. She really is dysfunctional in that arena. 2) I liked the passage about sacrificing one for the good of many. The old utilitarian calculus. Hadn't thought about it in awhile, but there are strong moral arguments against her sending Angel to hell when, in fact, he was an innocent. That is, of course, if you believe Angel and Angelus are different people as opposed to Angel being a mask Angelus is forced to wear (to paraphrase Connor). Anyway, sorry to wax philosophical, but I really liked the way you revisted that part of the past. 3) I love, love, love your analysis of her relationship with Spike. I think you are right on emotionally and I appreciate you not painting him as a cardboard villian. Okay, done for now! Author's Response: I have to say that writing this chapter was about finally being able to say the things I feel many miss when looking at the Angel/Spike dynamic. Don't get me wrong, I love Spike and understood the need for the Buffy/Spike storyline. It was amazingly true to Buffy's self-destructive nature at the time. And I loved what they became in the end. And who doesn't just love the character of Spike? I don't consider myself a Buffy/Angel shipper, but I do feel that is where Joss Whedon always intended it would go. Enough with my analyzing! It seems I can't just say "thanks for reviewing this chapter" Oh well…however I am thankful.

filmtheory	07/12/04 - 06:22PM	10: Love’s Sacrifice	Signed
Another good chapter. I think this has many of the Wes/Angel issues the show didn't explore. Namely: Wes wanting to tell the others and Angel blackmailing him into silence. Angel worrying about Illyria babbling and Wes defending her. Author's Response: I know some think this interaction deviates too far from the central storyline, but I promise, in the end, you will see where it fits in. I'm glad you enjoyed it nonetheless.

filmtheory	07/12/04 - 06:20PM	9: Consequences	Signed
The story still has great interaction. I love the traditional male/female sexual roles being amplified by past events. More great dramatic irony: Connor is going out to get what Dawn won't give him- just not in the way she thinks. he is, after all, killing demons to relieve sexual frustration. Author's Response: Why yes he is getting’ some isn’t he? Not of the naughty naked kind he’d like, but in a naughty way nonetheless. And I too love to play with the male/female traditional vs modern, as neither interprets the female role as lesser, especially as we modern fems tend to blur the line instead of staying steadfastly to the far side of each. And isn’t the gray area always where the fun lives? Who wants the rules and regs of structured black and white? I say no to the Alliance, and long live the browncoats (if you don’t know Firefly this goes way over your head). However Filmtheory does know the continued line of genius that is Joss Whedon which was only intensified into probably his best compilation of work to date…The Firefly Series. Yes, my sales pitch. Hope it works….buy it, you’ll love it, I promise.

filmtheory	07/12/04 - 06:19PM	8: Memories Of Darkness	Signed
Very funny chapter with Connor and Dawn dodging the tough questions. With his perfect life in place, I'm surprised Connor was honest enough to say as much he did. GREAT CLIFF HANGER ENDING! Lucky for me, the next chapter is already up. Author's Response: You suggested the cliff-hanger endings...guess they are less effective when posting the following chapter so closely!

filmtheory	07/12/04 - 06:17PM	7: Her First Kiss	Signed
Hands down the hottest kiss in fanfic history. Author's Response: Thank you. I always worry about length. 819 words describing a kiss. Some people might yawn at that. I'm glad you liked it.

filmtheory	07/12/04 - 12:47AM	3: Sisterly Advice Only a Slayer Could Give	Signed
I too like your interpretation of Buffy’s relationship with the Immortal. (That whole thing never sat right with me). I also like how you handled the “Birds and the Bees” speech situation without expecting readers to think a college age girl never got the talk. This is good stuff. Author's Response: You're reviews mean so much to me. The fact that I have my two favorite writers on this site, taking the time to review me, no word to express.

filmtheory	07/12/04 - 12:44AM	1: Prologue: The Destroyer	Signed
I think this is a wonderfully deceptive prologue. It sets the reader up to think he or she is reading a story of Quar’toth Connor, the Destroyer. Then, in the ensuing chapters, they discover that Brady Bunch Connor has taken up demon fighting as an extra-curricular. Great start. Author's Response: If you're not reading "Legalese " I recommend it highly.

Violet SS	07/11/04 - 01:22PM	3: Sisterly Advice Only a Slayer Could Give	Signed
You've captured Dawn so perfectly. Her comments about the stake were hilarious. I also like your interpretation of Buffy's relationship with the Immortal. Author's Response: You're reviews mean so much to me. The fact that I have my two favorite writers on this site, taking the time to review me, no word to express. Author's Response: If you're not reading "Running on Faith" I recommend it highly.

Violet SS	07/11/04 - 12:57PM	2: By the Light Of Dawn	Signed
Yay! Cute Connor and Dawn. Their dialogue is so perfect, I can hear them saying it. I loved Connor's thoughts and Dawn's clumsiness. Oh, and this was so funny "Connor noticed a girl attempt to slip unnoticed into class." Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed the dialogue, it was actually harder to capture their true voice than I thought it would be.

Violet SS	07/11/04 - 12:50PM	1: Prologue: The Destroyer	Signed
At long last I have the time to read this story and your first few paragraphs are a joy to behold. I love your poetic style. I'm not sure if you've changed the prologue since the last review, but I found it beautiful and intriguing and was not distracted by any errant punctuation / spelling. Author's Response: Thank you. You know how much your opinion means to me since I am so envious of your work. So, I very much appreciate your review, and perhaps it will get me to let go of the next few chapters that I have finished, but have yet to post. Just a little review anxiety. Author's Response: More like expectation anxiety, just wanted to clear that up.

filmtheory	07/07/04 - 12:34AM	6: Protecting Through Sacrifice	Signed
This chapter was an excellent combination of exposition and conflict. You explore Angel’s feelings, then immediately force him to hide them from Spike. Your line: “Did he have anyone to talk to? To confide in? Angel doubted it. To be different, especially at Connor’s age, was to kill any hope of a social life.” Was awesome dramatic irony. We, the readers, know what Angel (and Connor) don’t. He does have someone to talk to and confide in. He just doesn’t realize it. I think you definitely have Angel and Spike’s banter down. Author's Response: I love that you caught that. Sometimes it is so hard to keep from shouting it from the roof tops so that everyone gets it instead of letting it float there and those who get it great, those who don't, maybe the next time around, or just not at all. All the while hoping the story is still enjoyable without this recognition. I'm just glad you caught it. Thanks.

filmtheory	07/06/04 - 07:37PM	5: To Date, Stake, and Hunt	Signed
I’m not so much amazed that you wrote two chapters in one night than I am that you wrote two excellent chapters in one night. The chapter on Buffy at first left me somewhat dissatisfied as it was exposition (brilliant exposition, but only exposition) and didn’t move the plot forward. However, the subsequest chapter satisfied my craving for plot movement and aloowed me to go back and enjoy and recognize Buffy’s chapter (4) for the superb character study that it was. Author's Response: You know, I was really worried about the Buffy chapter, because of the length of the exposition as you mentioned. I fear that in subsequent chapters I may fall into that trap again as the characters find out things that we as the audience already know…but I'm working on avoiding it as much as possible. Thanks again for reviewing.

Kellcool	07/06/04 - 02:30PM	1: Prologue: The Destroyer	Signed
Cool story so far, keep it up. But just make sure that you are putting in the right spelling and punctuation in some parts. Author's Response: Thanks for your response. I assume the mention to the spelling, word choice, and punctuation had to do mostly with this prologue. It was the last passage I wrote and I wanted to get it out there quickly so I could start posting the other chapters. The grammar has always been important to me which is why I spend too much time editing and re-editing my story. Please e-mail me if you find additional mistakes, and let me know what they are. They are few and far between and definitely should not be a draw away from the story itself.

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