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Reviews for What? Another Apocolypse?




Raptor 05/30/06 - 05:35PM 1: Untitled for now Signed
DETAILED REVIEW BTVS Fanfic Archive Reviewed by- Kevin D. Cottrell, Raptor Reviewers Email: kevin82abn@yahoo.com Read: May 30th, 2006 Rated 1-10: 9 Title: What? Another Apocolypse? Chapter Title: Chapter 1 Author: MonsieurRipper Genre: BTVS Fanfiction Type: Fiction/ Novella -Feedback- Note: The purpose of the following observations, corrections, and suggestions is to help the Author and attempt to point out the strengths and weaknesses of the piece. It is not my intention to belittle or discourage the Author who was good enough to let me read it. The following editing corrections will be in parenthesis ( ). Editing Notes: I found no errors Spelling & Grammar: I found no errors Layout: paragraphs are laid out nicely Plot: not revealed yet Point of View: 3rd person Protagonist: Buffy, Spike, & Dawn Antagonist: a blood-rat femme vamp Voice: very good- both Spike & Buffy’s voice Romance: The romance between Spike & Buffy is very evident to the reader. Concept: Buffy is reunited with William the Bloody in Cleveland. Fight scenes: minimal- I’ll explain no single vampire including Angel is a match against both Spike & Buffy. This is Chapter one, The Hook, you may need to make the stakes greater to create a page turner. Clarity: The characters passion & motivation is clear. Structure: well laid out! Imagery: minimal- sufficient for a Fanfiction whereas the reader already knows the characters. Description: sufficient for a Fanfiction whereas the reader already knows the characters. However, the new house may need more. Flow: smooth & even Scene: nice scene transitions. Setting: Cleveland Cemetery Metaphors: hell hath no fury like a woman interrupted. Similes: N/A Senses: sight, sound, touch Dialogue: Excellent; especially for Spike Character Development: Buffy & Spike show the love that has always been there towards the very end of season 7 Emotion: hope, fear, sadness, happiness, shock, jealousy, Overall Feeling: I love it! So far; however, this chapter should not be complete until the author explains the plot. What are they up against? Suggestions: Excellent job! However; I stand by my assessment that the take down of the vamp in the cemetery was far to easy for these hero’s, together. Keep on Writing! -Raptor

Author's Response: Thanks! That was MUCH appreciated!
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