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Reviews for Angel Season 5 (Redux)




slayerfest 03/21/06 - 09:37PM 1: 5.01: Hidden Talents Signed
I just read the first chapter, and I'm immensely hooked. I'll be sure to keep reading... once I finish the real season. Heh.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Once you finish the real season and read my version, be sure to drop me a line and let me know what you think.

Spicule 03/12/06 - 09:40PM 12: 5.12: The Past as It’s Remembered Signed
This is a great chapter. I'm glad Spike's in the gang now, and i can't help but like how Harmony is playing a bigger part. And the Connor and Eve "secret" is pretty cool; Although I really liked Lindsay, I'll admit i thought his and Eve's relationship seemed contrived. Nice job with the building or relationships and i can't wait fot the next chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. Yes, Spike is in the gang, though I’ll probably not concentrate on him as much as the show did. I hope to have even more Harmony, but I’m still not quite sure when I’ll be able to work in her story line. I’m with you on Lindsey. As I said elsewhere, the show made Eve seem like this ruthless, evil woman. Then all of a sudden, she’s giving up her ambitions for love. I would have liked to have seen the character’s progression from self-interested to self-sacrificing. Thanks for your compliment on my relationship-building. I’m definitely trying to let the readers see the characters progress. I don’t want to just shove them into a situation (which I actually kind of feel like I did with Connor and Fred). Thanks again for the review!

dutchgirl 03/11/06 - 04:08PM 12: 5.12: The Past as It’s Remembered Signed
Oké I made up my mind, I'm rooting for Connor and Eve ^^!! There a very interesting couple(complicated, but it fits)!! I didn't quite got the Lindsey storyline, I think your doing a much better job with Eve's character so far! Poor Cordy though there's nobody backing her up, but I do understand why the others made there decision. Angel's not going to be happy when he finds out Drusilla is back in town or that Connor and Eve got back together. Angel better makes up some great plan to protect his kid ^^!! Great update!!

Author's Response: Thanks, as always, for the review. It’s awesome to think that I’ve created a whole new brand of shippers! Of course, right now Connor/Eve ‘shippers consist of you, a guy named Terry and filmtheory. Yes, they are complicated. Then again, what relationship isn’t? And I’m totally with you on the Lindsey thing. The show set up Eve as evil and power hungry, then never showed us the transition where she fell in love to the point where she’d give up immortality for him. I would have liked to have seen that transition. So, of course, I’m writing it.
I don’t want to be spoilery, but don’t feel *too* bad for Cordy. I don’t see her giving up any time soon. And I’m glad you can see where the characters were coming from. As for Angel, yes, he has some troubles ahead. But I’m committed to making Angel committed to helping his son. I’m just not sure what that entails yet. Thanks for reading and for reviewing. Both are tremendously flattering and even more tremendously appreciated.

SakuraSyaoran4eva 03/11/06 - 02:46PM 12: 5.12: The Past as It’s Remembered Signed
I really liked this chapter. I couldn't help but think you went over the top w/ trying to characterizing Wesley's pain. "“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said harshly as he stood and left the room." I think this was perfect - but then the later commentary about Wesley whining about how he'd been ssooo bad was just off. It seemed more like Season 1 wes then S5 Wes. I think Wes should've been a bit quieter, detached and a bit more pained in this chapter. Fred seemed a bit off too. Her refusing to let Connor's memories be returned was ok - but the way you had her explain her reasons was a bit off, I thought. "“Oh!” Fred shouted bitterly through her continuing tears. “And here I thought you just thought we deserved to have our actual memories back. But I guess not. I guess you’re just using us, too.”" --- so NOT Fred. She would've realized this, but she wouldn't have shouted this. I think if you'd had her ASK this in a hurt voice it would've been more in sync w/ her character. "“Cordy,” Wesley said. “You helped give us our memories back. I’m grateful. But we’ve made our decision.”" --- This was wonderful. Lorne and Cordy seemed right on. "“Tha . . . you know.” Spike nodded. “For getting me out. Tha . . . you know.”" --- reduntant. Should've reworded the last sentance. I really liked the Spike/Angel scene - it was really well written and I could see Angel and Spike's comfort/uncomfort w/ eacother. U can tell theres history between them. "“Oh thank god!” Spike said" - comma after oh. "“Man I hate " --- comma after man. "“Eating is fine. Just not together, you know?”“So . . . you want to sit at different tables? Man. And I thought Eve was weird sometimes.”--- Lol. liked this sentance. I liked the Connor/Fred scene - Fred dumping Connor like that was perfect. I thought you wrote her character much better in this scene then the last. "Sauron?” Harmony said. “That’s the villain from Lord of the Rings,” Angel said" -- How would Angel know this? Angel doesn't watch tv - and probably doesn't watch LOTR either. This is much too big of a stretch for his character. "“Wesley,” Angel said, gritting his teeth, “if you keep agreeing with Spike, you’re fired.”" -- Lol. Is asking you to make this Spike/Angel romance/lust out of the question? " “There’s no way I’ leaving you " - error on I'm. "“Angel has Lorne on a special assignment,” Even said." --- you meant Eve, I take it. "Angel was about to shout for Harmony to get her Eve when Eve herself walked into the office with Cyvus Vail." --- you wrote Angel down as a "her" when you meant "him". You managed to keep Spike in character throughout this whole chapter - yet, I felt that something was missing. Angel and Spike talked about how he'd saved the world and got sent to hell - yet theres no real anguish/pain behind any of that. U don't provide any insight into Spike's character or what he's going through. I felt as if this was something you could've spent more time improving. The Eve narration on her past was wonderful - it really provided a basis for WHY she loved Connor and why she was evil as well as provided us with an insight into her character. Very well written. "Connor’s mouth went dry and his stomach twisted. He felt a fear so intense it made him nauseas. He didn’t want this story to go where he knew it was going. He wanted her to stop telling it, so he could pretend it had an innocent ending. But he wanted her to keep telling it just in case it wasn’t what he thought it was. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t want to make a sound. Because he still didn’t want to make this any harder on her." -- wonderful characterization onto Connor. "“You sure that’s a good idea,” she joked, even " --- this is a complete clause, should end in a period and not a comma. You really should've had this betad. If not by me, then somebody. The ending was brilliant. You made Eve fall in love w/ Connor, gave us a reason to not hate her and did it all in a way w/o making your intent obvious. Overall rating for this chapter - 8/10. SS4EVA

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I’m glad you liked so much of the story. I understand some of your criticisms, but obviously disagree. For starters, on the reaction to the new memories, no one is really finished responding yet. I don’t think Wesley whined about how bad he’d been. He said two sentences on the subject in a calm voice. The reason for that is that Wes has had a kind of epiphany about certain things, but there’ll be more on that in the next chapter. As for Fred, I’m glad she seems a bit off. However, I do think shouting at Cordy is more in tune with season 5 Fred. Your suggestion seems to be a little more like season 3 Fred; sill kind of quiet and afraid. Season 5 Fred was a little more forward and a little more likely to let people know when she was angry with them. In that scene, Fred was blaming the messenger. She was angry with Cordy for revealing these very unpleasant memories and screwing up her relationship with Connor. At the same time, she knew being angry with Cordy for that didn’t make sense, so she was grasping for something else for which she could yell at Cordy.
Spike being redundant was essentially the joke. He twice tried to say the same thing and couldn’t. I think rewording the second sentence kid of takes the air out of the joke. As for feeling something was missing in the Spike/Angel interaction, that seems natural. I’ve often told people I didn’t like the way Spike dominated Angel season 5. From your comments and your own story, I can tell you’re intrigued with the relationship between Angel and Spike. But that relationship is probably not going to be a focal point of this story.
Obviously, I don’t think it was a stretch that Angel knew who Sauron is. I’ve never seen an LotR movie or read an LotR book. I also don’t really watch television. Yet, I know who Sauron is. The whole LotR was so big, I heard about it even though I actively tried to avoid conversations about it.
Thanks for the notes on the typos. I made most of the changes you mentioned. However, “even though she entered and headed for the kitchen” isn’t a complete sentence. Therefore, I left a comma that you thought should be a period. I understand what your beta recommendation, but I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever do. If someone were to take the time to proof-read my work, I really couldn’t begrudge them a desire to have some influence on the plot. But, as you can see above, my ideas about these characters and where my story is going are very defined. I don’t really want someone else pushing their own concepts. But I’d feel bad telling someone, “Thanks for proof-reading and correcting my story, but I really don’t give a damn how you’d write Fred.”
Thanks again for reviewing. I really appreciate the time and effort you take to read, think about, and review the story. I'm happy to know that you liked the story as much as you did.

Quortoth 03/10/06 - 08:53PM 12: 5.12: The Past as It’s Remembered Signed
I like that episode a lot. Poor Eve. Poor Conner[Fred and all], I liked one of the first parts were Wesley would say stuff he'd done that he just found out he did. It was great.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad readers can have at least a modicum of sympathy for Eve. Connor getting dumped was pretty sad. I'm also glad you liked Wes's bit at the beginning. Thanks again!

Spicule 03/05/06 - 02:01PM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
This one, like the rest, is quite solid. I like the original slant you have on the season. My only complaint would be that fact that Spike isn't a regular. I know, I know, it's all about personal preference when it comes to Blondie Bear. But considering that's my only complaint, I'd say you've done very well with this season. Nice job

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. BTW, what makes you say Spike isn’t a regular? True, he hasn’t been in it until this chapter. It’s also true that I was bugged by how he kind of dominated Angel’s 5th season. But I think I still want to have him around. I just didn’t like the kind of short cut the season had for getting him back. Granted, I’m being obnoxiously arrogant, but I think my way of getting Spike back was much better than the show’s. Then again, I didn’t need him in the first episode/ chapter, so I did have more time to work with. Anyway, I really appreciate the time you took to read and review my story. Another chapter is on the way hopefully soon.

dutchgirl 03/04/06 - 01:43PM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
Poor Wesley, neverthelss I do hope he smashes the box ^^! Wonder if Connor is going to regain his memories as well since he is not in the room!! I like the new and improved version but I also loved the old version. I pretty much liked the original out come, two versions becoming one version. Can't wait to find out what your plans are, also concerning Fred/Connor! You write a very convincing Sahjhan and Drusilla's return could lead to a great plotline. Woudn't have minded to have seen more of your helldimension because it rocked very dark and creepy!! Great chapter, update soon ^^!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. *IF* the box is what you think it is (who am I kidding; it is) and if they made it correctly, only the people in the presence of the box will get their memories back. However, I too like the new Connor but prefer the old. Some Fred/ Connor plans will be revealed in the next chapter. I'm glad you like Sahjhan. I liked that character. Dru is always a fun and welcome addition. Now I just need to work her into the story a little better. Thanks so much for the compliments on my hell dimension! Maybe they'll have a filed trip back some time. Or, maybe I'll be writing about another hell dimension. Hmmmm . . . thanks again so much for reading and for reviewing!

Quortoth 03/02/06 - 12:33PM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
I much enjoyed this one. And I think I even understand the inside joke. Of course I'm not for sure, [smash it, Gwen? :-P] I also liked the duck tape and intestines joke with Spike. And Sahjun with whole 'paying for it,' client. Good story.

Author's Response: Glad you think you get the inside joke. You should post and tell everyone what you think it is :) I'm always so, so worried my jokes won't come across in writing, so I'm glad the banter is garnering appreciation. Thanks for the review!

twinblade 02/28/06 - 09:09AM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
I liked this chapter a great deal. I actually hope you do more with Harmony. I've met Mercedes Mcnab and she was such a sweetheart I tend to think Harm needs more screen time (Screen time...get it. Ha ha)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I think I will work Harmony in a little more, I'm just having trouble at the moment. I have htis plot idea for her, but it just keeps getting pushed back.

axel 02/27/06 - 07:31PM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
Good as always. But I'm just a little disapointed, that Gwen seems to be going evil. But it's a small complaint. And yes, I got the Joke.

Author's Response: I don't htink Gwen is going evil. She's just doing what's she 's always done; working for the highest bidder. Besides, maybe releasing Sahjhan wasn't really evil. Hmmmmm . . . Glad you got the joke.

SakuraSyaoran4eva 02/27/06 - 06:26PM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
Sorry for the double review!! I messed up last time. Cordy's line when she says the word US was the one you messed up, not Freds. “My visions us led us this far." SS4EVA

Author's Response: Thanks for the reviews. Glad you caught the snag.

SakuraSyaoran4eva 02/27/06 - 06:22PM 11: 5.11: Spiked Signed
Nice. Liked this chapter. Felt that it was kind of missing action though - and not just physical but emotional. Found 4 punctuation mistakes in the first scene, should go back and fix that. Also, one of Fred's lines, you left off an S (in the first scene). I liked the Darla bit, did not get the inside joke cuz I didn't watch the movie and really wished there'd been a little more Fred/Connor scenes. Emotional, I mean - not physical. Er, the box at the end - OMG! I sooo don't want them to smash it. Maybe someone could find out about it and steal it. I hope that, at least, EVERYONE doesn't find out about Connor's true orgins - I don't think everything's set for that. Things have just started. I also don't remember seeing Gunn in this chapter - where is he again? I can't help but wonder what the Sahjan storyline is...and Dru!! I heart Dru! Really hope the next chapter is more focused on Connor and his journey . Hope to also see maybe an Angel/Connor scene where Connor doesn't know that Angel is his father. SS4EVA

Author's Response: I laid off the acton in this one because there was a lot of plot development; getting Spike back, Sahjhan's return, Gwen looking to get paid, etc. I didn't want the chapter to run too long. The inside joke had nothing to do with any movies. Gunn was in the chapter, he just didn't do much. As for the box . . . all good things come to an end.

twinblade 02/23/06 - 09:41AM 10: 5.10: The Boy in the White Room Signed
I can't beleive I missed this fic before today. (though to be honest I only started reading it cause I thought you were keith) Bygones I am now addicted... Did you mention returning the favor.

Author's Response: Glad you made the mistake and especially glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and for letting me knw what you thought. I hope to have more up soon.

Peaches Girl 02/22/06 - 10:36PM 10: 5.10: The Boy in the White Room Signed
I do love this fic. I love Connor and always hoped they would expand on his new life but hey they didnt. Fred and Connor great pairing I love it. Connor is just too adorable. Great chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I think Fred and COnnorgo together nicely. Two cute but not gorgeous, pale, skinny, brown haird kids who really need some comfort in an evil, demon-fighting world. I'm glad you love the fic. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Thanks again.

BloodThirstyGoddess 02/22/06 - 05:56PM 10: 5.10: The Boy in the White Room Signed
That was a awesome chapter! I like Fred and Connor together, it's really cute! Their personal stories are so similar, great idea! Good idea with Gunn too!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. There'll be ups and downs for all relationships in this story and that's all I'm going to say about that! But yes, Fred and Connor have had similar events in their lives. Then again, niether of them know it.

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