30

"I can't believe this is it," Buffy stated early Sunday evening while she and Angel sat on his front porch. "You're leaving tomorrow."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know. My flight leaves in fourteen hours."

"Are - are you packed and ready to go?"

It was hard for Buffy to accept that Angel was leaving the next day. She knew he was only going because she told him to, but that didn't make it any easier. Back in June, August seemed so far away, as if in another lifetime. Now it seemed as though it were only yesterday.

"Mostly. I finished last night. Well, not entirely; I haven't gotten around to packing my toothbrush and stuff like that, but otherwise, I'm ready to go."

Buffy rested her cheek on his shoulder. "I'll miss you. But I guess that goes without saying."

"And the same goes for me. I'm going to think about you every second and dream about you every night," he said to her.

"Will you write? And call?"

"Every chance I get."

"Angel, I'm really afraid. I have a really bad feeling about this whole thing."

Angel put his arms around her. "Like what? My plane might crash somewhere over Kansas? Terrorists will take over the plane and kill all the passengers onboard?"

"That's not funny," she choked out, tears filling her eyes. "Don't even joke about something like that."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "You don't have to worry. Flying is the safest form of travel. Nothing's going to happen to me."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "That isn't what I'm afraid of. I…I'm scared of you meeting someone. Some absolutely beautiful girl with amazing talent; someone who will be able to write you a love poem off the top of her head without having to think about it. I can't do that…I can barely form a coherent sentence as it is. You might fall in love with this girl."

He gently caressed her cheek. "I'm already in love." Angel winked at his saddened girlfriend. "Besides, I bet none of those girls at Emerson were the Prom Queen."

"Maybe they were."

"And maybe they weren't," Angel reassured her. "There's no other girl out there like you, and you've got me, heart, body and soul. No matter how far away I am, that'll never change."

Standing behind the screen door, Melissa rolled her eyes. She had been listening in on their conversation for the past two minutes, standing in the shadows. 'Could those two be any more sappy? "I love you, I need you…" gag me!'

"Ahem," she coughed, announcing her presence. The couple turned around to look at her. "Sorry to interrupt, but dinner's ready. Mom's getting sorta antsy to eat."

"All right. I'll be inside in a minute," her brother informed her.

"Okay." Without another word, Melissa went back into the darkened house.

Buffy sniffled. "So, I guess this is the part where we say good-bye." 'I don't want to say good-bye. 'Cause that means Angel is really gone.'

"I don't believe in good-byes," Angel said. "And I refuse to say it. This isn't good-bye, not by a longshot."

"Then what is it?" she wanted to know.

He shrugged, shaking his head. "I don't know. See you soon, I suppose. It's only for a few weeks, remember that. There's mid-semester break in October and I'll be home for Thanksgiving. Then Winter Break in the beginning of December. Come January, you'll be going back with me. Six weeks, tops, and then we'll be together again."

"Seems like a long time."

"It'll go by quick. And it isn't like we won't be in constant contact the whole time. We'll write, talk on the phone and email. You'll be sick of hearing from me," he joked.

"Never."

They stood up, and Angel placed his forefinger under her chin. Their lips met in a tender kiss, sweetened by their promises to one another.

"I love you," he whispered when the kiss ended.

"I know," Buffy replied. "I love you, too."

He smiled, his forehead touching hers. "You still my girl?"

"Always."

***

Sitting on her bed, Buffy tried her hardest to concentrate on the book she was reading. It was a useless effort; the words jumbled together in an incoherent sea of letters. Nothing was seeping through, all she could think about was Angel.

Even at the dinner table, she had been quiet, leaving her father to question what was bothering her. Each time he asked, she said she was fine. Buffy knew Mr. Summers would never have understood. He'd never loved as deeply as she and Angel did, she decided; if he had, then he never would've torn them apart.

Her radio played in the background, the volume turned down so low she could hardly hear it. But even in her daze, Buffy heard the deejay announce a dedication.

"I have a dedication here from A.R. to his beloved. You know who you are, and he wants you to call him."

//As I watch you move across the moonlight's gloom
There's so much tenderness in your loving
Tomorrow I must leave, the dawn knows no reprieve
God, give me strength while I am leaving

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness \\

"Angel," she stated. "It's you. I know it is."

Buffy picked up the phone next to her bed and dialed the seven digits she'd memorized years before. He picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"It's me."

On the other end of the line, Angel smiled. "You heard the song, I take it."

"I'm still hearing it. It's beautiful."

//As we move to embrace, tears run down your face
I whisper words I've loved so softly
I can't believe this pain
It's driving me insane
Without your touch life will be lonely

So raise your hands to heaven and pray
That we'll be back together someday
Tonight I need your sweet caress
Hold me in the darkness
Tonight you calm my restlessness
You relieve my sadness\\

"The words hit pretty close to home for me," he divulged. "It's exactly how I'm feeling right now."

"I miss you already. And you're only two miles away. I shudder to think what I'll be like tomorrow at this time when you are three thousand miles away."

He sighed. "I know exactly how you feel. Do you think you could sneak out for a little while? Meet me at the park by the merry-go-round? I need to see you one last time."

"I'll be there."

***

Buffy didn't bother to tell her father where she was going; as far as she was concerned, she was over eighteen and allowed to do whatever she wanted without asking for his permission. And if she wanted to see her boyfriend one last time, Mr. Summers couldn't stop her.

She pulled into the parking lot at eleven-thirty, although she didn't see any other cars around, not even Angel's. 'Is he here?' she asked herself. 'Or did he get held up?'

As she entered the park, Buffy immediately saw Angel. He was sitting on the merry-go-round, waiting patiently for her arrival. She ran over to him, flinging her arms around his neck when he met her halfway.

"I couldn't go," Angel told her, whispering in her ear. "Not without seeing you once more, without being near you again."

"I haven't been able to think about anything at all tonight. You're all I've been able to think about, nothing else."

Angel held her. "Yeah, I know. I sat in my room for hours after you left tonight, wondering how I'm going to manage not seeing you everyday. And I don't know if I can do it."

"It's just so unfair. Why do you have to go away?"

"It was your decision, Buffy. You told me to go. I'm only doing what you wanted me to do. Would you rather I stayed here with you?"

"Yes! No! I don't know. You've worked your entire life for this, it's your opportunity to prove yourself and what you can do. What I want doesn't matter anymore," Buffy said truthfully.

He looked her in the eye. "But it does. I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing it for you. If you don't want me to go, I won't."

Closing her eyes in an effort to hold back her tears, Buffy shook her head. "No, you have to do this. We'll get through it, we're tough."

"Are you sure?" he asked, unconvinced by her words.

"Yep."

They continued to hold each other for a few more minutes. Neither wanted to leave the safety of the other's arms. Buffy and Angel were determined to make it work, despite the odds.

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"Could we…well…would you make love to me one last time before you go? I need to be with you in every possible way, I need to feel you," she begged. "I won't be able to make it."

Angel raised his eyebrows at her request. "Here? On the grass in a public park? What if someone sees us?"

"Nobody's around, it's late. And nobody's going to see. Please?!"

He sighed softly. "I can never deny you anything, especially now."

And as the moon shone brightly in the black sky, the couple lowered themselves to the ground, making love one last time.

31

Monday morning, Buffy was awakened by the chiming of her alarm clock at seven-thirty. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and yawned. Her rendezvous with Angel had lasted until one; neither one had wanted to leave the park, and she was dead tired.

'Seven-thirty already? You've gotta be kidding me,' Buffy thought. 'Wait a second…seven-thirty! Oh, god, I overslept!'

Bolting up in bed, panic seized her heart. She had overslept by an hour. 'I am such an idiot! I can't believe I did this!' Angel was leaving at eight o'clock for Boston and Buffy wanted to surprise him at the airport. Now she was afraid she'd miss her chance to see him off.

She jumped out of bed and threw on the first outfit she found in her closet: a long-sleeved blue blouse and a pair of black jeans. In front of her full-length mirror, she brushed her hair back into a ponytail, not bothering to put on any makeup. Angel always preferred the natural look on her, not to mention she didn't have the time to put any on. Every second counted.

Quickly brushing her teeth, Buffy grabbed her car keys and ran out the door. 'I've got fifteen minutes. I have to make it and I will,' she declared. On the way there, she ran two stop signs, three red lights and impeded the speed limit by at least twenty miles an hour, but pulled into the parking lot of Sunnydale International Airport with three minutes to spare before Angel's flight took off.

She ran through the double doors as fast as she could, breathless by the time she reached the Customer Service desk.

"How may I help you?" the older lady sitting behind the counter asked her.

"Hi. Can you tell me which gate Flight 247 to Boston is leaving from?"

The lady punched a few numbers into her computer. "That would be Gate 31. But you had better hurry up, they're starting to board right now."

"Thank you."

Gate 31 was only down the long corridor on the right-hand side, not far at all. The Sunnydale Airport was rather small, so Buffy had no trouble finding it. She made her way through the metal detector on the second try, having forgotten to remove Angel's ring the first time around.

She reached the gate just as Angel disappeared into the tunnel that led onto the plane. He hadn't seen her. "Angel," she said softly, knowing that he would not be able to hear her.

A hand touched her shoulder. "Buffy, honey?" a gentle voice said.

Turning herself around, she saw Mrs. Riches standing behind her. "Mrs. Riches, hi. I came to see Angel off, but I guess I missed him."

"I'm sorry. I know Angel would have wanted to see you. When he calls tonight, I'll be sure to tell him you came by. He'll be sorry he missed you."

Buffy nodded her head sadly. Nothing seemed to be going the way she wanted it to. 'Another bad omen.' "Thank you. When he calls, would you tell him I love him and miss him?"

"Of course I will."

"Are you…are you angry with me?" Buffy wanted to know.

Mrs. Riches knit her eyebrows together. "No, I'm not angry with you at all, Buffy. Why on earth would you think that?"

She blinked. "Because of Angel leaving. I know he told you about my dad's offer. And I thought maybe you hated me for his leaving town."

"Oh, no. God, I could never hate you, or even blame you for that. It had nothing to do with you, it was Hank's doing. As far as I'm concerned, your father made his bed and now he has to lie in it."

"I hate him for what he did," she told Angel's mother. "He doesn't understand how much Angel and I love each other."

She shook her head in response. "Don't do that. He's your father, you should love him. And as for Angel leaving Sunnydale, it would have happened eventually. My boy is special, he's destined for something better than this town can offer him. I can't hate you for making him see that, or for pushing him toward finding himself."

"Really?"

"Really. I've never seen him so happy as he is when he's around you. Angel hasn't had the world's greatest childhood, and any girl who can make him smile and laugh and brighten his whole personality is tops in my book. You're a member of our family, Buffy. You always will be."

***

"Where have you been?" Mr. Summers asked his daughter when she walked through the back door at eight-thirty.

"I went out," she replied flatly.

He lifted his eyebrows. "At eight in the morning? You don't usually crawl out of bed until after ten. Where did you go?"

"I told you, I went out."

"Buffy Anne Summers, you tell me where you were!" he demanded.

"Fine!" Buffy exploded. "You want to know where I was? Then I'll tell you. I went to the airport to see Angel. There. Are you happy now?"

Mr. Summers fumed. "I thought I told you that you were no longer allowed to see him. You purposely broke the rules."

"I love him! And all I wanted to do was say good-bye; see him one last time before he left my life, possibly forever. Is that so wrong of me?"

"We had an agreement and you broke it. How can I trust you after that?"

"I don't know, Dad. How am I supposed to trust you after you tried to buy off the man I love?" she threw back at him.

"You don't love him; you're too young to know what love is yet. Have you forgotten that your so-called love took the money I offered him? What does that tell you about his love for you?"

"He's doing it because I told him to. Angel loves me and he always will. But he deserves to live out his dream, and the money you offered him gave him the chance. I had to force him to take the money or else he'd have said no. See, Dad? He does love me."

The realization hit Mr. Summers at that moment. "You never stopped seeing him, did you? Did you!?"

Buffy held her ground. There was no way she was going to let her father intimidate her. "Never. It was all my idea, too, so you can't take it out on Angel. He was willing to stick to your agreement in order to protect me, but I said no. Every day he worried you would find out and punish me for it. I wasn't about to lose him, not after thirteen years of trying to be with him."

"You went behind my back and continued to see Angel, even after you knew the consequences? What have you become? The Buffy I raised would never do that."

"I'm still me, I'm just fighting for what I believe in. And I believe in Angel and our love. You know, now that I think about it, I have a question for you. What would Mom think of what you've done to break us up?"

"Your mother would've agreed with me."

She shook her head in disagreement. "I doubt that. She'd hate you as much as I do right about now."

"Buffy…"

"No. I'm not listening to you anymore. I don't even think I can live under the same roof as you after what you've done."

"And where do you expect to live, if not under my roof?" Mr. Summers questioned. "With your boyfriend, wherever he is?"

"No. I've been thinking about going away to school. In January, I want to go away to Boston College. Mom went there and I want to, too. You can't stop me from going, Dad, no matter what you pull. Nothing is going to keep me here. Nothing," she swore.

***

32

Angel cradled the telephone on his shoulder while he was hanging up his clothes in his dorm room closet. "Yeah, it's pretty warm out. I think they said it was eighty degrees when I stepped off the plane. It's almost like home."

"What's the campus like?" Mrs. Riches asked.

"It is beautiful…well, at least the dorms are, anyway. Tennis courts, baseball diamonds, lots of trees with picnic tables underneath them for writing. I love it. I haven't had a chance to walk around and explore yet, I've been busy unpacking. But I'm sure they'll give us a tour tomorrow during orientation."

"You'll love it. And even if you don't, you're always welcome back home," she told him. "Everybody misses you already."

Angel smiled. "I miss you and Missy, too. I never thought I'd be this homesick."

"I just can't believe my little boy's gone away to school. You're so far away, it's going to be a difficult adjustment."

"I know. Imagine how I feel. Everybody's a stranger to me here. All my family and all the people I care about are three thousand miles away. I'm all alone."

"If I know you, you won't be alone for long. People are going to see what a great person you are and they'll be clamoring to be around you."

"Yeah, right. We'll see about that. Mom, I want to let you know that if you need me, I'm only a phone call away. I'll be on the next flight home," Angel said.

She sighed. "Don't you worry about me. Melissa and I will be able to take care of ourselves. It's not us you have to worry about."

"What do you mean?"

"I ran into Buffy at the airport this morning. You had already boarded the plane by the time she reached the terminal. I don't think I've ever seen anybody so brokenhearted as she was."

Sadness filled his heart at his mother's words. "She was there? I missed her?"

"By about thirty seconds. Maybe it would be a good idea if you called her," his mother suggested. "Let her know how you are. Tell her you miss her."

He nodded. "You're right. I'll call her when I get off the phone with you."

"Why don't you do it now? Your sister just finished making dinner, so I have to go anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Go talk to her; tell that sweet little girl how much you love her."

He laughed. "You don't have to worry about me saying that. All right. Give Missy my love and I'll call you again this weekend."

"Whenever you have time. Get yourself situated there first. Meet some people, don't just stay in your room like I know you will."

"Okay."

"Take care, Angel."

"You, too. Bye, Mom."

Angel pressed the receiver down, then dialed Buffy's house. He hoped and prayed that she would answer the phone rather than her father. It would be too difficult to explain why he was calling her.

Back in Sunnydale, Buffy lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It had been nine hours since Angel had left and she refused to leave her room. Her father was angry with her, but she didn't really care. When the telephone rang, she had no intention of answering it, but changed her mind on the fourth ring.

"Hello?" she answered.

Angel gulped. He'd missed the sound of her voice, and she sounded like an angel to him. "Buffy?"

Her entire face lit up when she recognized the voice on the other end. "Angel! Oh my god! I never thought I would hear from you so soon!"

"I guess I shocked you, huh?"

"Totally. It's so great to hear your voice. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"

"Not half as much as I've missed you. I spent my entire flight thinking about you," Angel told her.

"You mean that?"

"Of course. I just got off the phone with my mom and she said you were at the airport and you had just missed me when you got there."

"By like thirty seconds! I was such an idiot, I wanted to see you off but I ended up oversleeping. And when I got there, you had already gotten on the plane."

"Well, I'll be home soon enough. Or maybe you could come visit here for a weekend soon, if you can convince your father. I have a single room, so we don't have to worry about being interrupted by any annoying roommates."

She frowned when he mentioned her father. "That sounds great, but I don't know. Angel, my dad knows about us. He put two and two together when I came back from the airport. And he wasn't happy about it."

Angel paled. "What did he say?"

"It's not for you to worry about. I told him it was totally my idea and that you shouldn't be punished for it. And I haven't spoken to him for the rest of the day. Frankly, I don't want to talk about him. Tell me about Emerson. What's it like?"

"Big," he laughed. "At least twice as big as UC Sunnydale, if not bigger. Lots of trees around. Beautiful campus, though."

"Sounds very inspiring."

"Nah. My inspiration is back in Sunnydale. But I have a lot of pictures of you to keep the creative juices flowing."

She widened her eyes. "Me? I'm your inspiration?"

"Yeah, you."

"Wow," she said. "Have you…met anyone yet?"

"You mean girls? I haven't seen a single soul since I got here, except for a few of the orientation guides. How many times do I have to tell you, Buffy, that I'm not going to meet anyone? You're the only think I can think of most of the time. I love you."

She felt a tear slip down her cheek. "I love you, too."

"I know you don't want to talk about your father, but he did something. Really nice and it shocked me."

"What?"

"Apparently, he spoke to the rental car company here in Boston and arranged for them to give me a brand new Ford Explorer. It's mine. He bought me a car."

"That wasn't my dad, Angel."

"Then who was it?"

She took a deep breath. "That was me. I couldn't bear the thought of you having to walk everywhere, especially with Boston being such a big city and everything. So I called up the rental car place there and bought you the car. I hope you like it."

"Like it? I love it. But you really didn't have to go to all that trouble."

"I wanted to." From outside, she heard a car door close. It was her father. "I gotta go. Dad's home."

He nodded in understanding. "Okay. I don't want to get you in any trouble."

"I'm already in enough trouble as it is."

"Then I don't want to get you in any more. I'll send you a letter this week with my address here and my phone number. Take care."

"Don't go falling for some gorgeous coed."

"It'll never happen. I love you, Buffy."

Buffy couldn't stop the tears this time around. "I love you more."

***

Three hours later, Angel sat at his desk, writing a letter to Buffy. He was so lost in his thoughts that he never heard the knocking at his door.

"Hi?"

Angel turned around when he heard the voice. Needless to say, he was more than a little shocked to find a pretty girl with long brown hair standing in his doorway. "I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," he apologized.

She smiled. "That's okay. You were deep in thought. I don't mean to interrupt you, but you're the first student I've seen since I got here. You and I seem to be the only ones on this floor."

"Oh. I haven't really walked around yet."

"God, I must seem really rude, waltzing in here and not even introducing myself. My name is Julia Michalek. Room 321."

"Well, Julia, I'm Angel Riches," he introduced himself. "Come on in. Make yourself at home."

She stepped inside. "Angel. That's quite a unique name."

"Sure. You try living with it."

Julia laughed at his comment. "No thanks. So, Angel, where are you from?"

"Sunnydale, California."

"Is that anywhere near L.A.?"

"Only a two hour drive up the coast. What about you?"

"A boring little town in New York, barely a speck on the map. Hardly even worth mentioning," she divulged. Walking over to his desk, she picked up a small framed picture of Buffy and Angel. "She's pretty. Your sister?"

Angel looked at the picture she was holding. "No, that's my girlfriend. It was taken at the Fourth of July Carnival."

"Oh." Julia was filled with disappointment. The moment she'd seen Angel, she felt an attraction to him, a spark she'd never felt before for anyone else. It was love at first sight. He was by far one of the most handsome men she'd ever laid eyes on. "Have you two been dating for a long time?"

"Almost five months now."

"That's not very long."

"You're right. But I'm completely devoted to her, and vice versa. Do you have somebody waiting for you back home?" he wanted to know.

"Hardly," Julia scoffed. "Bad breakup a few months back. I came here to start a brand new life. I didn't want anything holding me back."

Angel gave her a half-smile. "It's the opposite for me. Buffy wanted me to come here. If not for her, I'd still be in Sunnydale, going to school with her. Though I wish I had stayed. I miss her like crazy."

"She sounds like a great girl. Well, I'll let you get back to your brooding, Angel Riches. See you around. Maybe we'll do lunch this week."

"Sounds like fun."

As she walked out the door, Julia sighed. 'The most gorgeous guy I have ever seen and he's taken. Go figure.'

***

33

"There you are!" Cordelia exclaimed when she found her best friend sitting alone in the Student Union commissary. "I was wondering where you went to after Calculus this morning. You took off like a bat out of hell."

Buffy looked up from the pictures she was poring over. "Sorry I ran out like that, Cordy. I had to get to the darkroom and develop these pictures before someone else got in their first."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Your first portfolio is due on Friday, isn't it?"

"Yep."

She glanced at her friend's pictures. There were at least twenty or thirty black-and-white photographs sitting on the table in front of her. All the pictures were of smiling couples, including a few of herself and Xander, and Buffy and Angel. "What's the topic of it?"

"Isn't it obvious? Love."

"And you've included pictures of me and Xander? Why?"

"It's the different stages of love. Early, carefree love versus lifelong, utterly devotional love. Does that make any sense at all? It's stupid, I know. I should think up something more original."

Cordelia nodded. "No, it's a great topic. Actually, it does make sense. And I don't need to question which category you and Angel fit into." She looked over the photos for a little longer. "These are some great pictures, Buffy."

"They're okay, I guess."

"Then you're looking at something different because these kick ass. Looks like you've found your niche. Photography. You could be the next Herb Ritts."

Buffy shrugged. "Somehow, I doubt that."

"Okay. Might as well change the subject, Miss Modesty. So tell me, how's Angel doing?"

The mention of her boyfriend's name brought a smile to her face. "He's good. I didn't talk to him this week, though," Buffy told her. "We've both been really busy with school and stuff like that."

"Are you sure everything's okay? Did you have a fight or something? You just don't seem like yourself," the brunette noted.

"No, we didn't have a fight. It's…this long-distance relationship thing is harder than I thought. Talking to him on the phone just isn't cutting it, I suppose. Cordy, it's been a month since he left for Massachusetts and I'm miserable without him. I miss him like crazy."

"I know you do. It's obvious to everyone. But you've lived without him for so long. You'll make it."

She sadly shook her head. "I almost wish I hadn't told him to leave. Deep inside, I still have this fear of Angel meeting some beautiful girl and dumping me for her."

"That's crazy talk. You are the only thing that boy sees, trust me. Ask anyone; Xander, Melissa, his mother, anyone! No girl is ever going to come between you two." Cordelia checked the time on her watch. "Shit. I'm going to be late for Astronomy. Give me a call tonight?"

"Will do."

For half an hour after Cordelia left for class, Buffy sat at the table alone, trying to decide which pictures to use for her assignment. She was lost in her thoughts and did not see the approach of a tall, blonde-haired man.

"Excuse me, but don't I know you from somewhere?" he asked her.

She lifted her head upwards, staring at the good-looking man. His cerulean eyes were hypnotizing, Buffy nearly lost herself in them. Tall, muscular, bleach-blonde hair, and attractive. He was certainly handsome, she couldn't deny that. But in a different way from Angel. While her boyfriend was handsome in a rugged, classic way, this man was mysterious and dangerously handsome; a combination that would send any girl's heart racing.

"I'm sorry, I don't know. I don't think we've met," Buffy replied.

He smiled at her. "Oh, I know for a fact that we haven't met," the man said in a thick British accent. "A beauty like you, I could never forget your name."

Buffy blushed at his remarks. "You're too generous with your compliments."

"Not nearly generous enough, if you ask me. Honestly, though, I do believe you and I are in the same English class. Two o'clock with Professor Schmit?"

"Then I guess you're right. I'm sorry, but I don't remember seeing you there."

"I sit in the back of the classroom. Believe me, I've seen you. Haven't been able to take my eyes off of you since I first saw you walk in the door." He smiled flirtatiously at her. "When I saw you sitting here, I had to come over and introduce myself. My name is William. But you may call me Will. All my friends do."

"Buffy."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Buffy." Will saw the pictures scattered on the table. "You are a photographer, I take it?"

She frowned. "Amateur. It's for a class I'm taking."

"They're outstanding." He picked up a picture she'd taken of herself and Angel at the beach house before he'd left for school. "Ah, but you belong in front of the camera, not hidden behind it."

"I don't think so."

"Who is the man in the picture with you? A friend of yours?" he wanted to know.

"My boyfriend, actually."

Will raised his eyebrows. "And where is this boyfriend of yours?"

"In Boston attending school. He goes to Emerson College."

He nodded in understanding. "I see. A long-distance relationship. It must be difficult on the two of you."

"To say the least. I miss seeing him every day and hearing his voice. But I know he feels the same way I do."

"He'd have to. You will have to tell him what a lucky man he is, to be so close to you. Pardon me, my apologies for interrupting you. It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Buffy." Will took her hand in his and lightly kissed the back of it.

"Likewise."

"I hope to see you again. Whether it be in or outside of class."

"Me, too," Buffy agreed. "But I have a boyfriend."

"I'll have to remember that."

***

"Missy? Did you hear me?" Willow asked impatiently. Her friend was staring at something on the other side of the dining area.

Melissa broke out of her reverie. "What did you say, Will? I didn't hear you."

"Yeah, I noticed. I wanted to know if you'd heard from your brother recently. How's he doing? Loving Emerson?"

"Angel adores the place. Tuesday he called us and talked nonstop about some writing workshop he attended. Apparently he spoke to an author who had taken an interest in a story he wrote," Melissa explained.

Willow grinned. "That's great. Nobody deserves it more than him. He must he glad he went there after all."

"Angel'd never admit it to me, but I'm sure he is."

"He is still seeing Buffy, isn't he?"

"Yep." Inwardly, Melissa groaned. Her truce with her brother's girlfriend hadn't meant anything to her. It was simply a way to get her brother off her back about her behavior. "I know they talk on the phone all the time. But they've both been busy with school, he told me. It's kind of straining the relationship."

"Wow. Do you think it's going to last?" Willow wanted to know.

"Don't know. I mean, as much as I want it to, for Angel's sake, I have a bad feeling. It's a statistical fact that most long-distance relationships don't last. But after what he went through with Kelley, I know he's determined to make it work."

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Buffy talking to a handsome young man. She's been watching her brother's girlfriend while Willow was talking to her. Anger filled her at seeing the girl smiling at the other man. 'Looks like she's making some new friends. I could use that to my advantage. She and Angel aren't talking as much…she's meeting new people…good-looking guys…'

Willow followed Melissa's gaze. "Isn't that Buffy?"

Melissa nodded her head. "Uh-huh. Wonder who the guy is that she's talking to."

"Probably a friend from one of her classes," Willow assumed. She caught the expression on her friend's face. "You don't think she's cheating on Angel, do you?"

"Of course not!" Melissa knew that Buffy wouldn't do that to her brother, as much as she hated to admit it. The girl really did love Angel, she believed it. That didn't mean she had to like it. But Melissa was also aware that both Angel and Buffy were afraid of the other finding someone else. "He's probably just a friend, you're right, Willow."

***

"How's Mom doing?" Angel questioned when Melissa called him that night. "Is something wrong with her? Is that why you called me?"

"No, Mom's perfectly fine, don't worry. The doctor said everything's normal."

Angel knit his eyebrows together. Something didn't sit right. "Okay the, what is it? I know you too well, Missy, and you didn't call for no reason. Tell me."

She took a deep breath. All afternoon long, she had been preparing what she would say to her brother. "I-I don't quite know how to say it."

"Just tell me."

"But it'll hurt you. I don't want you to be hurt."

Angel was becoming impatient; his sister was giving him the runaround. "Melissa…"

"All right. Angel, I'm so sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this. It's about Buffy."

He filled with fear. "Did something happen to her? Was there an accident? Is she okay?" The thought of Buffy being hurt, or worse, sent him into a panic.

"There wasn't any kind of accident. She's fine. Better than fine, actually. Angel, she…she's seeing someone. And she is telling everyone it's over between you two," Melissa lied. 'Mission accomplished,' she thought. 'The bitch will be out of our lives for good.'

***

34

Angel didn't say anything for a full minute. His sister's words repeated in his mind over and over again. "How…what…when…I don't understand. Why would she do something like that?"

"I really don't know. I thought you two would make it." 'Yeah, right.'

"No," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "This can't be happening. We just spoke on the phone last week and everything was fine. Well, she was a little distant, but I figured it was because of school and that big project she has due."

"I didn't want you to find out like this, Angel. I hate having to be the one to tell you about it."

He slumped down on his bed, his entire body shaking. 'How can this be happening?' "Why?" Angel questioned, his eyes burning. "Buffy and I swore to each other we'd stay faithful while we were separated. Why would she do it?"

"I don't know," Melissa repeated.

"How do you know about this? Did Xander tell you? Or Willow?"

"I saw them today during lunch. They had their hands all over each other," she lied. All she had seen was an innocent, friendly kiss on the hand. But she couldn't tell Angel that.

"Oh god." He wanted to die. The mere thought of Buffy being with someone else hurt him more than anything in the world.

On the other end of the line, his sister was grinning like a Cheshire cat. 'He's buying it,' she thought. 'This is going to be easier than I thought it would be.' "Buffy should be the one telling you this, not me. I know you love her, but she's a two-timing bitch. Look at what she's doing to you. Gone only a month and already she's screwing some other guy. Angel, I don't want to say I told you so -"

"Then don't," he ordered, his voice raw with emotion. "I can't believe this is happening to me all over again. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Melissa assured her brother. "You're a great guy, but you've got rotten taste in women. You can't see what they're really like. And that's no reflection on you whatsoever."

"Then why does this keep happening to me?" he cried. "First Kelly dumps me for Parker. I can understand that and I know her reasons. I wasn't giving her what she needed. But with Buffy, I just don't get it. I gave her everything I had, I loved her more than anybody. We swore to each other we'd be faithful, she was going to transfer to Boston College so we could be closer to one another. Now suddenly, out of the blue, she meets some random guy and decides to throw all our dreams out the window? Was I not good enough for her? What?!"

"You're too good for her. She's a spoiled, snobby princess who is used to getting what she wants when she wants it."

Harsh reality hit Angel like a ton of bricks. "I was nothing but a toy. A new game to play during the summer. She set out to make me love her and I did. She succeeded."

"I'm sorry," apologized Melissa. "Buffy should be the one telling you this, not me."

"It was supposed to be forever," he muttered. "We were going to show everyone."

"I hate her for making you feel this way. She made a fool out of you, even worse than Kelley did."

He couldn't listen to it any longer. His heart was shattered in a million pieces, and all he wanted to do was be alone; away from anyone or anything that reminded him of Buffy. "Good-bye," he said, barely above a whisper. Without another word, he hung up the telephone and let the tears fall from their confines.

***

Julia had been waiting in her room for nearly twenty minutes. Angel was late, and that was not like him at all. The two of them were going to a local club; she had been trying for weeks to get him to go with her, always to no avail.

'I finally convince him to go out with me and he chickens out,' she said to herself. 'No way. That boy spends enough time in that room of his. He needs to stop brooding and start partying.'

Closing her dorm room door behind her, she headed to the boys' wing of her floor. In her mind, she thought up all the different lines she'd use to make him feel guilty for standing her up. Knocking twice on his partially open door, Julia entered.

"I cannot believe you're backing out on your promise!" she accused. "Why would you stand me…"

She stopped talking the second she saw her friend. He was sitting with his head in his hands. Muffled sobs could be heard coming from him. "Angel?"

He looked up, showing her his bloodshot brown eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "I'm…I can't tonight, Jules. I'm sorry."

Julia reached behind her to close his door, knowing he would want privacy. "What's wrong?"

"Melissa called," he managed to choke out.

The worst possible scenario entered her mind. "It's your mom, isn't it? Did something happen to her?" She knew how sick Mrs. Riches was, and how guilty Angel felt about being so far away.

Solemnly, Angel shook his head. "No. It's…it's Buffy."

"Did something happen to *her*?"

"Is there something wrong with me?" he wanted to know.

The question shocked her. "Why would you ask me something like that?"

Angel sniffled. "Why do they keep doing this to me? Am I not enough for them? I gave them both everything and that still wasn't enough? What more do they want?"

"I don't understand what you're asking. Who's 'they'?"

"Girls."

Julia nodded. "Buffy did something, didn't she? Is that why you're so upset? It'll all blow over. I'm sure of it."

"No, it won't," he said. "Buffy…she's seeing someone else back in Sunnydale. And it's over."

She sat down next to him, adjusting her tight black miniskirt so that it didn't ride up on her. "Angel, I'm so sorry. I know how much you love her."

"Again…it's happening again. Why is this always happening to me?"

"Again?" she repeated. "She did this to you before?"

Fresh tears began to fall freely. "Kelley cheated on me."

'His ex-girlfriend,' Julia recalled. 'How awful for him. Don't these girls know how lucky they are? Angel's the perfect guy and they keep screwing him over.' "They don't deserve you, then."

"I love her so much," he professed. "Buffy is everything in the world to me. We've done everything together; we made love for the first time together and we went through hell together. How can that not mean anything to her, after all we've been through?"

Julia got up off the bed and grabbed several tissues from the box on Angel's desk. When she sat back down again, she wiped the tears from his eyes. "I don't know. Maybe she couldn't wait for you."

"Missy said she's telling everybody it's over between us."

She raised her eyebrows. "Your sister told you about this? Not Buffy?"

"No. Missy called half an hour ago."

"I thought you said once that Missy doesn't like Buffy."

"She doesn't. Well, she didn't used to like her. They called a truce over the summer," Angel informed her. "For me."

"Is it possible that Melissa lied to you about Buffy? From what you have told me, you and Buffy are really devoted to one another. It doesn't sound like it's possible for her to cheat on you."

"No way," Angel disagreed. "Missy knows how much it would hurt me if she lied about it. And I know her. My sister may not be Buffy's biggest fan, but she would never purposely hurt me." He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. "Julia, it hurts so much I wanna die."

She rubbed his back in a show of comfort. "Shh. Don't say stuff like that. People need you, Angel. "*I* need you. You're the best friend I've got here."

Angel looked deep into her big green eyes and found the solace and support he needed. "Jules, I…"

He let the sentence trail off, bringing his lips to hers instead. The act took Julia by surprise; it was the last thing she expected him to do. 'We shouldn't be doing this,' she thought. 'But how can I stop when I've wanted this since I first met him?'

His lips were soft, just like she'd imagined they would be, and tasted salty from his tears. Their kiss was gentle, sweet and promised passion. Her mouth opened to invite his tongue inside, and he lost himself in the act of kissing her. Angel's hands slipped from her shoulders to find the buttons of her red midriff blouse. When he successfully unbuttoned the top button, she pushed him away, unable to let it go any further.

"We can't do this, Angel," she said once she caught her breath.

He only gazed at her. "I don't…why? Don't you want to?"

And she did want to. Since the first time she'd laid eyes on him, Julia had fantasized about him, about them. In every one of her dreams, Angel broke up with his girlfriend and realized it was her he loved. They'd kiss and make love for hours until they spent their passion, falling asleep in one anothers' arms.

"I can be here for you, but not like that," she told him. "You're hurt and I don't want to take advantage of the situation."

Angel didn't say anything right away. "So it is me after all."

"No," she said, shaking her head in disagreement. "It's not you, trust me on this. I just don't want you to do something tonight that you'll write off as a weak moment tomorrow morning."

"Julia -"

"I refuse to be your rebound girl."

Her words brought more tears to his eyes. "She was afraid of that. Buffy thought at the beginning that she was the rebound girl because we started going out right after Kelley broke up with me."

Julia brought his head to her shoulder, letting him cry on her. "It'll be okay, Angel. You'll get through this. I know it seems hopeless right now, but it'll all work out."

"I love her," he stated simply.

"Then she's a fool for giving up on your love. You're going to make some lucky girl very happy one of these days. And Buffy's going to realize how stupid she was for letting you go."

Angel shook his head. "I can't go back there. I can never go back."

"You can and you will. Just give your wounds some time to heal."

"They'll never heal."

"Yes they will. What you need is closure."

"Closure? The only girl I have ever truly loved dumped me for some guy she met after only a month away from me. I'd say that's closure."

She frowned, hearing the hurt and agony in his voice. "Well, you're a writer. Write your feelings out, tell your side of the story. And once it's done, burn it. You can do it, Angel. Pour your heart and soul into it, every part of you that she controls, and then destroy it. It's the only way to get over her," Julia suggested. "Aside from finding someone else. Writing is more healthy than jumping into a new relationship."

Angel understood. "Write our story…you're right. I *can* do it. I'll put Buffy Summers behind me."

But a voice in the back of his mind told him it was easier said than done.

***

Go to Part 35