RATING: Uh…I'm not sure but I think that if you watch it, you can read it.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, don't sue. The dialogue from 'Innocence' is from AleXander's Transcripts, which were an invaluable resource to fanfic writers until the idiots at Fox decided to shut them down.
DISTRIBUTION: Ask and ye shall receive
FEEDBACK: I crave it. It's like cigarettes, you know? Just when I think I've quit…
SPOILERS: Major for season 2, everything up to 'The Prom'.
NOTES: This has been wondering around in my head (and in fragments on my hard drive) ever since I first saw 'The Wish'. I'm just making the most of a wasted opportunity.
NOTES2: All S3 as far as 'The Prom' happened except 'The Wish' & 'Dopplegangland' which, for obvious reasons, didn't.
NOTES3: I know Giles says that Anyanka's only power lies in the wishes but I've given her to power to appear in dreams because I couldn't see Buffy telling a stranger her heart's desire in the normal way of things.
SUMMARY: What if Anyanka had granted Buffy's wish instead of Cordelia's?

Prologue

Buffy stood in the centre of her bedroom and looked down at the bed which held her own sleeping form. She looked pitiful having finally cried herself to sleep after Angel had told her that he didn't want to be with her. A girl, who seemed to be about her own age appeared in front of her and they regarded each other in silence for a few moments.

"Who are you?" asked Buffy at length.

"Anyanka."

"This is a dream, right?"

"In a way. It can be what you want it to be – make a wish and it will come true here. What is your heart's desire?"

Buffy almost refused to answer but then she gave a mental shrug and, thinking it would be nice to have happy dreams for once, told the truth. "I wish that when the gypsies had cursed Angel they had never thought of putting a break clause in it and that I could relive everything from the moment he should have lost his soul."

"DONE." Anyanka decreed in a hoarse voice. He face changed from that of a young woman to that of a demon and the pendant around her neck glowed green. In an instant both she and the room vanished and Buffy found herself standing in Angel's old apartment, looking at herself and Angel lying asleep in each other's arms.

As she watched, Angel stirred. He opened his eyes and gazed tenderly down at the golden head that rested peacefully on his chest before pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. The love revealed in the gesture brought tears to Buffy's eyes, even as it caused the other Buffy to stir. As she did so everything started to fade and Buffy realised that she too was waking up. Desperately she clung to sleep, wanting to stay in this world where her other self and Angel could be happy together but it was too late.

At the Factory…

"I'm not happy pet." Spike announced "Angel and the Slayer are still alive. They know where we are, they know about the Judge. We should be vacating."

"Nonsense," said Drucilla, for once making perfect sense as she walked to his side and took his hand in hers. "They'll not disturb us here. My Angel's too smart to face the Judge again."

"What's Big Blue up to anyway?" asked Spike, glancing dismissively over his shoulder to where the Judge was kneeling in front of some storage racks, and then away, "He just sits there."

"I am preparing." The Judge responded without turning his head.

"Yeah. It's interesting to me that 'preparing' looks a great bit like sitting on your ass." Spike informed him, wheeling over to face him. "When do we destroy the world already?

"My strength grows and with every life I take it will increase further."

"So let's take some. I'm bored."

Drucilla suddenly started moaning and Spike looked over in concern, the Judge instantly forgotten. "Dru?"

She didn't reply, instead collapsing on the floor and beginning to cry. "Angel…" she moaned.

"Dru?" Spike manoeuvred the wheelchair until he was at her side, and asked, "What is it? Darling… Do you see something?" Her only response was an increase in the intensity of her tears.

Part One

It was raining she noticed without opening her eyes. Buffy listened to it while she thought about her strange dream but gradually reality intruded and she became aware that she was lying against something cool and firm. Cautiously she opened her eyes and discovered that she was lying in a man's arms with her head resting on the soft skin of his bare chest. Hardly daring to breathe, she looked up and her wildest hopes were confirmed when she met the chocolate brown eyes of her Angel.

She knew at once that it was him and not Angelus, the love in his eyes was unmistakable but they held something else as well, something that had never been there before: Peace.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Angel…Oh Angel! You're here, it wasn't a dream!" she exclaimed and then she wrapped her arms round his neck and burst into tears.

"No, my love, it wasn't a dream." He told her soothingly, assuming that she was talking about their night together as he had no idea of the months of torment which remained in Buffy's memory if nowhere else. "Shhh…it's all right, I'm right here and I'll never leave you, I swear."

Sensing her need to cry Angel made no attempt to stop the tears that ran in a flood down his shoulder, he just held her tightly and murmured soft words of love and reassurance until they subsided.

"I love you" she told him solemnly when she finally raised her head, "so very much."

"I love you…you're my world" he replied, his own voice suddenly hoarse. "I don't deserve you but I'd do anything to make you happy and keep you safe."

"Just stay with me – you're all it takes to make me happier than I've ever been before."

Angel's eyes glistened with unshed tears at this declaration and their lips met in a gentle kiss which rapidly became more passionate as their need for each other spiralled rapidly out of control.

"You know…we really should…check in…with Giles." Gasped Buffy between kisses.

"Right…the Judge…they'll be worried…"

"Who? Oh yeah…anyway…we need to…need to… Oh Angel!"

Some time later…

"Angel?"

"Hmm?"

"We have to get up now."

"We do?"

"Mm-hmm. We have to go and see Giles and if we don't go soon you're going to get sunburn."

"Oh. Okay.

They helped each other dress, stopping often to kiss and caress one another, which slowed things down considerably but eventually they were ready to leave. It was still raining so Angel lent her a jacket, joking as he did so that soon he would have none left as she looked so much better in them than he did.

Their eyes met as he handed it to her and he gazed lovingly down into her beautiful hazel orbs. Then his brows drew together in a slight frown and he asked in concern "Are you all right? You look…different. Your eyes seem older somehow…sadder."

Buffy smiled, he knew her so well and could read her better than anyone else she had ever known. "I've never been better" she said truthfully and then added fervently, "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked in surprise.

"Being you," she said simply with a deeper meaning than he could possibly know.

Unsure how to respond, Angel pulled her into his arms and lowered his face to hers until their lips met in a gentle kiss.

As the kiss deepened and threatened, once again, to spiral out of control, Buffy pulled back and gasped breathlessly, "Giles…library…we should…go."

"Right…we should" he agreed. Their lips met in a final sweet kiss and then the two of them hurried out of the apartment.

Part Two

It was nearly dawn when they finally entered the library. Neither of them wished to be any further apart than they had to so Angel had his arm around her and Buffy's head rested against his shoulder, where every so often he pressed his lips against her hair and inhaled the scent that was uniquely Buffy.

Giles looked up in relief as they entered and, on seeing Angel, immediately got to his feet, went to the windows and started drawing the blinds to protect the vampire from the rising sun. That done he came to stand in front of them, his eyes examining Buffy carefully, checking for any sign of injury. Finding none he relaxed a fraction and asked anxiously, "The Judge?"

"No assembly required, he's active." Buffy answered, ignoring the sudden feeling of deja vu. She knew that if this new world was permanent she would be feeling it a lot over the coming months.

That 'if' haunted her and she said abruptly, "Giles, I need you to find out everything you can about a demon called 'Anyanka' it's really, really important!"

Giles and Angel both stared at her in surprise for a moment before Giles stammered "Well…yes…but-but…why? And what about the Judge?"

I've got the Judge covered," she said ignoring their astonished looks "but we can't do anything about him until the others get here and I promise that I'll explain why later. For now just…trust me, please?"

Giles looked at her for a moment longer and then nodded. "All right, I'll see what I can find." As he turned and went into his office, Buffy closed her eyes, relieved that he was going to trust her.

A moment later she opened them once more as Angel turned her to face him and asked quietly, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, truly. I just want to be sure before I explain." A hint of desperation glinted in her eyes and she said again, more to herself than to him, "I have to be sure!"

His concern deepened but Angel could see that now was not the time for questions and instead offered to go and help Giles. The gratitude that shone in her eyes was all he needed to confirm that he had made the right choice and, with a quick kiss, he left her side and headed into the stacks.

****

Over the next hour the rest of the gang arrived and were immediately put to work researching Anyanka. They were reluctant to begin at first, wanting to know what it was all about. However, when it became apparent that Buffy was not going to answer any of their questions until she had the information she wanted, they hit the books to the accompaniment of loud complaints from Cordelia and concerned and reproachful looks from Willow.

Xander was the last to arrive; complaining as he did so of the unpleasantness of a night spent as the Sunnydale Bus Depot.

Buffy got to her feet when he entered and said, "Good, Xander you're here, now we can get rid of the Judge."

Xander froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a car and then glanced round uneasily; noticing that everyone else looked as stunned as he was.

"Uh…Buffy…it's nice to know that you think so much of my fighting skills but demon slayage isn't really my line of work." He joked uneasily.

"Relax Xander" she told him dryly, "I don't mean that you have to fight but you still remember Halloween, right? All that soldier stuff." It wasn't really a question; she already knew the answer. Although it had been over a year since she had last lived through these events, it was not something she was likely to ever forget. But even if it had been, if it had been the most insignificant detail, she would still have remembered. The pain and trauma she had endured had burned every detail of those painful months indelibly into her mind.

"How did you… Uh, yeah, sure…why?"

"I need you to get something from the army base for me."

"Yeah…I think I can do that – what do you need?" he asked almost absently, as he remembered the strange experience of being an observer within his own body.

"A rocket launcher."

"Okay, I…WHAT! Are you crazy?" he exploded as what she had said registered.

"No…she's right," said Angel softly at the same time Giles said approvingly, "Very ingenious, Buffy. Well done."

"Ohhh, I get it." Xander exclaimed, "but how am I supposed to get it? Getting onto the base is one thing but the armoury will be guarded."

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Buffy said confidently, "I don't care how you do it, just get one – by tonight. If you need any help ask for it, otherwise…we still have research to do, everyone so let's get to it."

"We do?" Xander asked Willow quietly, a little intimidated by this new, driven Buffy who seemed to have appeared overnight. "I thought we were looking for ways to stop the Judge and we've found one, what else is there to research?"

As Willow quietly filled Xander in on everything he had missed, everyone else turned back to what they had been doing before he walked in.

At the Factory…

Drucilla lay on her back on the table and looked blissfully up at the ceiling. Spike wheeled himself around to her and smiled, "Are we feeling better, then?" he asked leaning on the table.

"I'm naming all the stars," she sighed.

"You can't see the stars, love, that's the ceiling. Also, it's day." He informed her matter-of-factly.

"I can see them. But I've named them all the same name," her voice was dreamy as she tilted her head to look at him, "And there's terrible confusion."

"Did you see any further? Do you know what happens to Angel?"

"Angel…" she repeated, her dreamy smile fading as her face crumpled like a small child's.

"What is it Ducks?" he asked anxiously, "What did you see?"

"My Angel," she moaned "My Angel"

"What? What about Angel?" he asked again, keeping his voice gentle despite his urgent need to know what she had seen.

"Everything's changing." She told him, her voice far away as she relived the vision, "Glorious darkness is becoming light. My Angel's gone forever now, he's hers…she made him happy and she's changed things, he should have come back to us and now he never will! He's not my daddy anymore but she won't have him, will she, Spike? You won't let her have him?"

"No, Pet. Don't fret now, we'll kill them both, you'll see."

Part Three

The library…

Silence reigned in the library, broken only by the rustle of turning pages and the click of the computer keyboard. By unspoken agreement, school had been blown off by everyone that day – a first for Willow – with the exception of Jenny Calendar, who as a teacher, had to be in class but she returned to the library to help in the search every chance she got.

Even Oz had joined in, having been enlisted when Xander decided that a van would be needed if his plan were to work. He had the details worked out with Willow, Cordelia and Oz and was now simply waiting for evening before he put it into operation as his excuse for being on the base would hardly be plausible so early in the day. While they waited, they researched; looking through musty old books until their eyes burned and the words blurred together on the page. No one had slept much the night before but Buffy's urgency had transmitted itself to them and no one was willing to rest until they had found what she needed.

At long last, Giles emerged from the stacks, looked up from the book he was holding and announced, "I've found it!"

Instantly, seven pairs of eyes focused on him to the exclusion of all else as he continued," Anyanka – wielder of the power of the Wish. She's a sort of…" He broke off abruptly and turned his head to look hard at Angel, who merely gazed back in confusion.

"A sort of what?" Buffy demanded. "Giles! A sort of what?"

He started and looked back at her "I'm sorry, Buffy. She…she's a sort of Patron Saint of…scorned women."

Now everyone but Buffy turned to look at Angel in astonishment, while he looked at her in pained confusion but she didn't even notice, her attention totally focused on Giles. "Okay…that makes sense," she said, oblivious to the way everyone turned to look at her as though she had suddenly grown a second head. "Once a wish has been granted…is it permanent?" anxiety leaked into her voice as she spoke, leaving no one in any doubt as to how important this answer was to her. Still not understanding but responding to the fear in her voice, Angel moved to her side and put a comforting arm around her. She leaned into him gratefully but her eyes never wavered from Giles' face.

"I…um…it would appear so." Giles told her tentatively, unsure if this was the answer she needed. "To…undo the wish would require the person who made it to desire things to be restored. Then either they, or someone who knows that was what they desired must confront Anyanka and find and destroy her power centre, even if someone else did succeed in doing this it would only effect their wish, not those made by others. So, yes…the Wish, once made, is permanent."

"Oh, Thank God!" Buffy exclaimed, then the thread of tension that had been holding her together snapped and she dissolved into tears.

Angel swung her up into his arms and then sat down in a chair with her on his lap, rocking her soothingly as though she were a child while the others gathered around them exclaiming in concern.

The tears passed quickly and it was with some embarrassment that she raised her face from its comfortable resting-place against Angel's shoulder and looked up into his concerned brown eyes.

"I love you," she said softly, not caring that the others could hear her, just savouring the knowledge that they could be together now, without restrictions, without always feeling that their love was bad thing that had to be fought against. His dark eyes glowed at her words, filling with love and hope and peace and the faintest hint of surprise that twisted her heart because she knew he still didn't understand how anyone could care about him.

"I love you," he told her, the words coming easier now, "you're a miracle…you're my miracle." His head lowered towards hers and their lips met in a gentle kiss. It was a kiss of dedication, rather than passion and when it ended they smiled at each other, their foreheads touching, reluctant to be any further apart that they had to.

Xander, clearing his throat loudly and making gagging noises, ended the beautiful moment. Cordelia and Willow both smacked him in the head but the mood had been broken. Buffy rolled her eyes and pulled back to look at the six people who were still hovering anxiously nearby.

"It's okay, guys, I'm fine…really, I'm sorry I worried you."

"Do you think that you could tell us what happened now, Buffy?" Giles asked. "It's clear from your behaviour that you have been…visited by Anyanka. Could you perhaps explain what occurred and how things have changed?"

Buffy's eyes darkened with pain as she remembered the world she had left behind only a few short hours ago but she nodded nevertheless. "I…" she began and then hesitated "I don't know where to start."

She thought for a moment and then asked, "You remember my dream, right? The one where Angel's killed?"

Everyone nodded.

"Well, we misinterpreted it but it did come true." Unconsciously, Buffy held Angel tighter as she spoke. "It was never his body that was in danger…" she looked sadly away from the others and up at Angel, knowing that what she was about to say would cause him pain, "…it was your soul."

His eyes filled with horror, as she had known they would and his voice was little more than a whisper as he asked, "My soul?"

Her own eyes filled with tears as she nodded, "The curse had a break clause in it. If you were to ever experience a moment of true happiness, if your soul was ever at peace, you'd lose it."

"Oh God…" Understanding filled his eyes and he whispered so quietly that only Buffy heard it, "last night." Unable to speak, she nodded. "What did he do to you?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," she told him softly and then offered the only comfort she could, "he didn't win." He looked at her, seeking the truth of her words and her heart was in her eyes as she said, "He couldn't break me…couldn't make me stop loving you."

Angel released a shuddering and unneeded breath and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"No!" she said sharply, "It wasn't you…it was never you even then and in this world you don't even have his memories and I'm grateful for that. You don't deserve all the pain he's caused you."

He stared at her in wonder "How can you still love me? I don't know exactly what happened but I do know him."

"I love you because I know you – I love your soul. How can I blame you for what the demon did? The worst part of the months you were gone wasn't Angelus, it was you not being there for me to turn to. Now you're here and I am never letting go." He opened his mouth to speak, to argue that he wasn't worthy of her but before she could make a sound she grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss which held all the love and passion in her. When she finally let him go his brain had turned to mush and coherent speech was beyond either of them but she had made her point.

Go to Part 4