Part Four

The others looked on in astonishment. They all knew that Buffy had feelings for Angel but none of them, not even Willow had even imagined the depth of the love, which existed between them. It was clear to them all that this was not a crush that would pass in time.

Even Xander recognised true love when he saw it and, at that moment, he gave up all hope of ever winning her. As he gave up the fantasy he finally acknowledged that his feelings for Cordelia went deeper than he was currently willing to admit and he looked over at her with a smile to find her smiling back and, unseen by the others, the two of them joined hands.

The emotional scene had effected everyone, Willow and Oz were smiling shyly at each other and the usually reserved Giles had his arms around Jenny.

Time seemed to stop and, just for a moment, all was right in the world. There were no demons, no danger, no fear, just love and friendship and happiness for all of them. But, as is the way of things, it didn't last. The bell sounding for lunch brought them back to reality and with a collective sigh they separated. For a while there was silence and they all knew that they would remember that one perfect moment for the rest of their lives.

The silence was broken by Giles asking quietly, "What, exactly did you wish for, Buffy."

"I…I wished that the Gypsies had never put the clause in the curse and I could relive everything from the moment Angel should have lost his soul."

"I assume that today is the first day of the altered timeline, yes?" he waited for Buffy's nod and then continued, "So at some point last night, Angel achieved true happiness and the curse should have broken?" Giles clarified events and Buffy nodded again, avoiding the sudden look of understanding that lit Willow's eyes.

Willow tactfully remained silent but Xander did not and his face twisted in confusion as he said, "I don't get it. You two narrowly escaped death, discovered that there was an immortal demon on the loose and had to hide in the sewers – why would dead boy be happy?"

Buffy flushed slightly but she met his eyes with a clear gaze, then turned to look up at Angel with a soft smile and said simply, "We were together."

The love in her eyes drew Angel like a beacon, the only source of light in his dark world and, unable to resist her, he found himself smiling back as the world around them faded into the background. The smile lit his eyes from within and Willow, Cordelia and Jenny all inhaled sharply at the sight; brooding he was amazingly handsome, smiling he was devastating. It was more than that though, it was the way he looked at Buffy, the love in his eyes was combined with a look almost of worship and it was very clear that no other woman could ever exist for him. It was a powerful moment and they knew that they should look away but somehow, they could not and, as they watched, each sent up a small and silent prayer that, one day, they would be blessed with a love like that.

Forcing herself to remember that they were not alone, Buffy pulled her gaze away from Angel's. She looked at her friends and for the first time, realised how exhausted they were. It was mid-afternoon and they had all been awake for over 30 hours researching the Judge and then Anyanka without complaint. Her chest tightened as she realised once again how much she loved these people and she said softly, "You guys should get some sleep. There's nothing we can do about the Judge 'til nightfall and it would be better if you had some rest before we attack."

No one argued they just nodded sleepily and headed for the most comfortable area of the library – Giles' office. Cordelia, Xander, Willow and Oz all sat down on the couch and, too tired for their usual arguments, fell asleep against one another like exhausted puppies in a basket. Giles, Jenny, Buffy and Angel looked at them through the window and couldn't help but smile at the picture they made.

Then Jenny glanced at her watch and gave a tired sigh, "I have another class in 20 minutes, I should go and set up."

Giles gave her a sympathetic smile and they kissed briefly before she turned to leave.

"I'll be right back." Buffy told Angel and then hurried after her.

Buffy caught up with her in the hall and the computer teacher looked at her in surprise. "Buffy, what's up?"

"I need to talk to you if you have time, It's kinda important."

"Sure, walk to class with me and we can talk while I get ready."

They walked together in silence, Buffy casting sideways glances at Jenny the whole way. She was unsure what to say; delight that the older woman was alive warred with guilt over not saving her in the world she had just left and her emotions were in turmoil. The anger she had felt had been destroyed long ago and she regretted the pain that she feared this conversation would cause even as she knew that it had to be done.

The short walk passed too quickly and Jenny closed the door and leaned against her desk, watching her curiously as she paced up and down like a caged lion, never meeting her gaze.

For a while Jenny just watched her but when it became clear that Buffy wasn't going to speak without prompting she asked, "What's up, Buffy?"

At the sound of her voice Buffy stopped, tension clear in every line of her small frame, and turned to face her. Her eyes were sympathetic as they met Jenny's and she said softly, "You have to tell them."

Jenny pretended ignorance but she had gone pale and her eyes fell from Buffy's as she asked, "Tell them what?"

"Don't!" The harsh command brought her gaze flying back to Buffy's and the pain she saw looking back at her held her transfixed. "You know what I mean, you have to tell them who you are, Janna. You have to tell them why you're here."

"How did you…?"

"I've been here before, I've seen the pain that secrets can cause – I won't let it happen again. Giles and Angel need to know the truth. They deserve to know the truth and, though it would be better coming from you, if you don't tell them – I will."

Jenny looked at Buffy and realised that she had changed. Suffering had left its mark banishing forever the girl that she had once been. Although Jenny didn't know that, she could clearly see that the young woman before her was no longer the child that she had been the day before, there was a dignity and maturity about her that was unmistakable.

The Buffy of yesterday would have been angry, aggressive but this Buffy would understand and Jenny desperately needed someone to talk to. "I'm scared." She admitted in a quiet voice, "I love Rupert so much and I'm afraid he'll hate me for lying to him." Her eyes filled with tears, she closed them, in an effort to force them back and then jumped when Buffy touched her hand. Instinctively she latched onto it, holding it tightly in hers as she looked into sympathetic hazel eyes.

"Giles could never hate you. He loves you – more than even he realises yet."

"You really think so?"

"I know so. I'm not saying that he won't be angry and hurt but he will forgive you – just give him time."

They would have said more but at that moment the bell rang, calling students and teachers alike to class.

"I'd better get back." Buffy said, giving her hand a slight squeeze before releasing it. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Buffy smiled and headed for the door, but turned back inquiringly when Jenny called out, "Buffy!"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, Ms Calendar."

"Jenny…Ms Calendar is for my students, not my friends."

Buffy smiled again and nodded, "Jenny, then...at least when we're not in class." She agreed and then slipped out the door just seconds before the first of the computer class arrived.

Part Five

Everyone but Angel was asleep when Buffy returned to the library, even Giles had dozed off at his desk with his head resting on one of his beloved books. Angel looked up when she came in and, without a word, held out his arms to her.

For a long time he just held her, letting her lean on him with her head pressed against his chest while he stroked her back soothingly and pressed gentle kisses into the fragrant gold of her hair.

Finally she gave a contented sigh and pulled away just far enough to look up into his eyes with a smile, "Thanks, I needed that."

"Anytime," he said smiling back at her, then his eyes grew serious and he said quietly, "We have to talk about it, you know? I have to know what he did to you."

"I know but not here, not now?" she pleaded. "We still have to face the Judge and right now I just want to be with you. Please?"

His reply was a gentle kiss that soothed rather than excited. "I love you," he said when it ended, his lips so close to hers that she could almost feel his words as well as hear them.

"I love you, too." She stroked his cheek with one small hand then closed her eyes and rested her cheek against him. "I'm so tired," she mumbled.

Angel swept her up in his arms and sat down with his back against one of the bookcases and her cradled in his arms, "Sleep, Beloved," he said softly, I'll wake you when it's time to go."

Buffy mumbled something that even his enhanced hearing couldn't pick up and snuggled closer in his embrace as though seeking his non-existent warmth. A moment later she was asleep.

Angel gazed down at the tiny blond girl in his arms and his heart ached for the pain she had endured. He didn't know what had happened exactly but he could see it in her eyes. The last remnant of her childhood was gone, her innocence had been ripped away and she was intimately acquainted with all the things that he had never wanted her to know. He knew that the others had seen the change in her but they didn't understand like he did. He had lived with guilt and grief and pain for too long not to recognise them when he saw them in the eyes of someone else. Her light had been dimmed but it still shone, a stubborn spark, which fought against the encroaching darkness and, as he held her closer, he silently vowed to nurture that spark until it burned strong and steady the way it always had before.

****

He held her for hours, sitting silent and unmoving except for the gentle stroking of his hand against her cheek and in her hair.

The school day ended and Jenny returned, she took one look at the sleeping Slayer and said quietly, "I'll wake the others, let her rest until they get back - there's nothing she can do unarmed."

Angel didn't speak but his dark eyes conveyed his gratitude and she gave him a quick smile before walking into the office, carefully closing the door behind her.

Even without his enhanced hearing he would have been able to hear Xander's grumbles about having to get up but Buffy never stirred, her exhaustion so complete that it would have taken a brass band to disturb her. Jenny had obviously warned them that Buffy was sleeping because when the office door opened Oz, Willow, Cordelia and Xander crept out through the library as quietly as mice, without any of the usual chatter. Giles stood in the doorway with Jenny and watched them go before turning his attention to his Slayer. His eyes softened at the sight of her sleeping so peacefully in Angel's arms, the love he felt for her clear in his expression as he gazed at the small girl who was his daughter in all but name.

Jenny looked up at him and her heart ached as she suddenly realised that, not only had Buffy given her the push she needed to tell Giles the truth, she had given her blessing, as the most important person in Giles' life, to the relationship between them. She hadn't known until that moment, how much she had needed it.

Gathering all her courage she said quietly, "Giles, Angel…there's something that I need to tell you…something you need to know."

The both looked at her in surprise, and then Giles glanced at Buffy. Realising what he was thinking Angel said softly, "As long as we're quiet I don't think we'll disturb her, she's exhausted."

It was clear that Angel had no intention of moving so Jenny lowered herself to sit cross-legged on the floor near him. A moment later Giles joined them and, recognising her nervousness gently took her hand in his.

She gave him a grateful look and then stared down at the floor, unable to look at the two men she had betrayed. For a long time there was silence and Giles and Angel made no move to break it or hurry her. When she finally spoke her voice came out as an almost non-existent croak. Clearing her throat, she tried again, "I…I haven't…Oh, God" she muttered, then forced herself to go on, "…I haven't been entirely honest with you." She finally admitted, "I'm not who you think I am."

"Who are you then?" Giles asked, his voice seemed calm but Jenny was vitally aware that he had released his grip on her hand.

She said without looking up, "I'm a Kalderash Gypsy."

Giles inhaled sharply but she didn't dare look at him, Angel's deep voice was calm and thoughtful as he said, "You were sent to watch me."

It wasn't a question but she nodded anyway. "I was told to keep you and Buffy apart, to…to see to it that you still suffered for what you had done." Her voice broke and she whispered, "I'm so sorry, I wanted to tell you but I thought I owed a duty to my people. You saved my life and I betrayed you." Without a word Giles abruptly got to his feet and walked away. Jenny stared after him for a moment, then looked down, knotting her hands in her lap until the knuckles turned white.

Angel's hand reached out to touch hers and she jumped, startled both by the coldness of his touch and the fact he would willingly reach out to her after what she had just told him. "Don't," he said quietly, "You never did anything to hurt me, no guilt because of me, please, I've been the cause of too much pain already. You've always tried to help Buffy and for that I thank you and shall always be your friend."

Jenny gave him a watery smile and said, "You're a good man, Angel. My people were wrong to want your soul to suffer for the actions of the demon."

One corner of Angel's mouth kicked up in return, "Maybe, but I can't regret the curse. Without it I could never have loved Buffy and she makes my whole long, ugly existence worthwhile. She's my miracle, my sunshine." He looked down at her as he spoke and gently smoothed her hair away from her face, his touch as light as the brush of a butterfly's wings.

Jenny had never heard Angel voice his emotions so clearly before and she knew that he was only doing so now in an effort to ease the guilt she felt for what her people had done to him. "Thank you," she said softly.

He nodded, not looking away from Buffy's face. "She knows, doesn't she?"

The question needed no clarifying and Jenny nodded, "Yes, she gave me the courage to tell Giles." Her gaze drifted to the office where Giles was just visible through the window sitting at his desk. Without a word she got to her feet, walked over to the door and went in, closing it behind her.

"YOU LIED TO ME!" Giles' shout echoed around the library, making him wince at his own volume as he remembered Buffy, sleeping outside. With a great effort he lowered his voice but his sense of betrayal and anger was clear in ever word he spoke as he told Jenny to get out of his sight.

"Rupert…please, listen to me…"

"Get out." Giles turned away, refusing to look at her as she sighed in defeat and left. His chest ached with rage and the loss of the woman he had believed her to be was like a great hole within him. Tears burned his eyes but he refused to let them fall, telling himself fiercely that she wasn't worth it.

Giles' caution came too late; Buffy had jerked awake the moment he raised his voice. She summed up the situation instantly and, with a loving smile at Angel, quickly got to her feet to intercept Jenny before she could run from the room.

When Buffy called her name Jenny stopped but didn't turn around, not wanting her to see that she was crying. But she knew and with a gentle hand on her shoulder, Buffy turned her towards her and said softly, "It will be all right, Jenny, I'll talk to him."

"You will?" she knew she sounded like a child in need of reassurance but she couldn't help it.

"I will." Buffy looked at her, noticing the exhaustion that shadowed her eyes, "you should go and get some rest, Jenny. We can handle the Judge," she smiled slightly, "Trust me, I've done it before."

She nodded and turned to leave then, impulsively, she turned back and gave Buffy a hug before hurrying away.

Buffy watched her go for a moment and then turned her attention to her Watcher.

Part Six

Giles stood up in surprise as Buffy walked into his office and closed the door behind her, saying as she did so, "I need to talk to you."

"Yes? What about?"

"Jenny."

"Buffy, this is really none of you're business. Now, I appreciate your concern but…"

"Giles, don't do this," Buffy pleaded, "there's never as much time as you think there is, don't waste it in anger. I know that you love her."

"I don't know her!" He exclaimed angrily. "She lied to me – to all of us! I don't understand why you are so calm about all this. She was sent here to harm Angel, I would have thought you'd be furious!"

"Oh, I was," she agreed, "When I found out who Jenny was after Angel lost his soul I thought I hated her. I shut her out, refused to talk to her and, out of loyalty to me, the rest of you did the same. I saw how much it was hurting you to stay away from her but for a long time I did nothing about it. Because of me, because I needed someone other than myself to blame, the two of you missed out on weeks that you could have spent together, weeks you could have been happy." Her eyes filled with tears and she angrily dashed them away as she continued, "and despite the way I treated her, she still tried to help. She found a way to recreate the curse."

"And?" Giles asked, knowing from the look in her eyes that there was more.

"And Angelus somehow found out what she had done…and he killed her for it."

He paled and dropped unsteadily into his chair, closing his eyes against the wave of pain brought on by the thought of Jenny's death.

"You see, I know you love her. You told me so as we stood at her graveside. I'll never forget the pain in your voice that day and I'll always feel the guilt of not saving her, of not killing him when I had the chance when he first turned, even though it never happened here.

Be happy with her, Giles, I know for certain that without her, you won't be."

He looked at her, his eyes filled with tears, clearly badly shaken by what she had told him, "You're right, I…I'll talk to her but she might not listen. I…didn't react well."

He started to get to his feet but Buffy's gentle hand on his shoulder stilled his movement, "I sent her home, the two of you can talk tomorrow when all this is over and you've both had some sleep," she smiled at him, "Don't worry, she loves you. That's why she was so afraid of telling you the truth, she didn't want you to hate her."

Giles looked up at her and saw the truth of her words in her face along with a wisdom that had not been there the day before and he wondered what had occurred to make her grow up so much so fast. He got to his feet and impulsively pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly, "Thank you, Buffy," he said gruffly, "I don't have the words…"

"Just be happy," she told him, her voice muffled against his chest, "I love you, you know? Since I met you it hasn't mattered that my father is never around."

His breath caught in his chest as she gave him the greatest gift he had ever received and he gently eased her back far enough to look into her eyes, "I…love you too, becoming your Watcher was the best thing that's ever happened to me." His words were a trifle stiff as he forced them past his usual British reserve but there was no doubting his sincerity and a smile lit Buffy's face, then faded as a shadow darkened her eyes.

"What is it?" he asked in concern.

"I just…I hope that you always feel that way. Knowing me caused you a lot of pain…there."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No…not now," she said, easing out of his arms and turning slightly away from him, "Later there are some things I'll have to tell you, things which have to be prevented. Maybe we can stop the swim team from turning into fish this time 'round." Seeing Giles' puzzled expression she waved her hand in dismissal, "Never mind, I'll explain later. It'll be weeks before that happens."

"Buffy…just how much of the future of the other timeline do you know? What was the date when you made your wish?"

"I know enough." She told him firmly, refusing to be more specific and before he could enquire more closely, the others returned with the rocket launcher.

~~~

"So, Buff, what made you think of a rocket launcher?" asked Xander curiously as Angel pried open the crate with a crowbar, "I mean, it's not exactly your usual style."

"I didn't," she told him with a smile, "you did."

"I did?"

"Mmm-hmm. This was your plan and since it worked last time, I thought we should use it again."

"I had a plan? A good plan?" he repeated incredulously.

"Yep."

He grinned, "Cool!" the grin faded, "I just wish I remembered thinking of it."

Despite themselves, everyone smiled at his crestfallen expression and Buffy said consolingly, "Cheer up, Xander, I remember and we never could have got it without you."

He brightened at that and then everyone became serious as they followed Buffy out of the library towards Oz's van and the mall, Giles and Angel carrying the crate between them

~~~

"Is everyone ready?" Buffy asked looking round at the group before her. They all nodded. "Good, take out any lesser vamps that you can, stay away from Sparky."

It was like rewatching a movie; Buffy thought absently as she faced the Judge, every word he spoke, every gesture he made was the same as it had been the first time and yet there were differences, the supporting cast had changed. Instead of Angelus standing at the Judge's side, there was Spike, sitting in a wheelchair, which he quickly vacated to launch himself over the railing with Drucilla when she raised the rocket launcher to her shoulder. Instead of staying to fight, he was half carried away from the destruction by a shrieking Drucilla who seemed totally unaware of the fact that she was banging his already battered form against walls and doors and scraping it against the floor as she ran. Instead of the numbness that had filled her before, there was amusement as she listened to Spike's cursing fade into the distance. And instead of the agonising pain of loss, there was the joy of finally being whole again after so long.

Handing the weapon to Xander she hopped down from the counter on which she had been standing and into Angel's arms. The two of them kissed briefly and then pitched in to help with the task of tidying up the bits of the Judge.

~~~

When all the bits had been gathered up and stored in dozens of carrier bags the exhausted group returned to the library to discuss the best way to dispose of them. They sat and stared at the mountain of bags and then, almost as one, turned to look at Buffy who was nearly asleep in Angel's arms. Gradually she became aware that they were watching her and roused enough to ask, "What?"

"I think they want to know what you did with him last time," Angel told her softly.

"Oh, right," she said, forcing herself to wake up and pay attention, "Uh…we gave them to Oz to throw in the sea – he said he knew a good place for it."

Oz looked thoughtful, "That's not a bad idea, I know a place where the current's so strong that they wouldn't wash up on shore – not this shore any way – it's a couple of hours drive down the coast."

"That's an excellent idea, Oz," said Giles approvingly, "you could drive down after school tomorrow."

"Actually, I think I'll go now. Unlike the rest of you, I slept last night and I'll be happier when he's gone for good."

"Everyone agreed emphatically with that sentiment and Willow offered to go with him while she and Xander helped him gather up the bags to carry them out to the van.

They were almost out of the door when a sudden thought occurred to Buffy and she scrambled off Angel's lap calling, "Oz!" He stopped and looked back at her questioningly as she hurried towards him.

"I nearly forgot!" she announced when she reached him, "Your cousin…Jody?"

"Jory." Oz corrected, beyond confused by this point.

"Right, Jory. Don't let him bite you when you see him next. He's a werewolf and it's kind of a pain having to lock you in the book cage three nights a month."

"Right, thanks," he replied, slightly dazed by this information. Buffy nodded and turned back to the library, only to discover that everyone was staring at her.

"What?" she asked innocently, "it is a pain having to lock him up and by my reckoning he got bitten next week!"

"Yes, quite…I imagine it would be." Giles agreed, "Uh…three nights?"

"Uh-huh, you see the werewolf is such a potent, extreme representation of our inborn animalistic traits that it emerges for three full consecutive nights: the full moon and the two nights surrounding it." Giles gaped at her, it was obvious to all of them, even him, who she was quoting but at the same time it was something that he had never said.

Buffy giggled at the astonished expressions on everyone's faces, then yawned as exhaustion swept over her once more.

"Yes, well, I can see that life is going to be…interesting…until Buffy rejoins the rest of us in our ignorance about the future," Giles observed dryly.

"Tell me about it," she mumbled, "I'm gonna be suffering from near-constant deja-vu!"

"Well we can worry about that tomorrow. Angel, why don't you take Buffy home, she's practically asleep on her feet."

Angel nodded and put his arm around Buffy's shoulders. She leaned heavily against him and after a moment he bent and curved his other arm under her knees, lifting her up into his strong arms and cradling her gently against his chest. She gave a contented murmur, wrapped both her arms round his neck and was almost instantly asleep.

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