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Buffy finished the last chocolate mini-donut and chugged some milk straight from the carton, grateful that Riley was at a meeting for work and wasn't there to tease her. The doctor had told her that the baby could be born any time now and would be perfectly healthy… a part of her really wanted to go into labor. She loved her daughter more than anything, but she was completely tired of being pregnant. The swollen ankles, the excessive peeing, always being uncomfortable… it was getting to her. Plus, she was so tired because she could never get comfortable enough in bed at night to sleep much.

Deciding it would be a good idea if she took a shower before noon, Buffy went to get up off the couch, but was stopped by the phone ringing. Sighing, she grabbed the cordless off the end table, "Hello?"

"Yeah, it's me," the vampire replied quietly, closing his eyes and trying to imagine how she looked, round with his child.

"Why are you calling? How did you get this number?" Buffy asked quickly, a million other questions forming in her mind, "After all this time…"

"I found out you got married," Angel answered, "Cordelia heard it from a friend… I called Giles and I made him give me your number. I *had* to talk to you."

"What for, Angel? What difference does it make to you that I am married? You left so that I would find a normal guy, when I got pregnant you told me you wouldn't be here for us… you don't want to be a part of our lives, so whether or not I am married doesn't concern you!"

"I know that you didn't fall in love with this guy, Buffy. Giles told me the truth. Before you even married him, you planned on getting a divorce."

"Well, I'm very familiar with twisted," Buffy retorted, "Twisted and I are on a first name basis. This shouldn't be news to you."

"Please, what? Please don't be angry at you? Sorry, Angel, but I just can't control that right now."

"Do you think there is a day that goes by where I don't want to smack myself for telling you I won't be there to help you raise the baby?" he said, "Every day I hate that I am missing out on so much… that I am not there for you when I should be… but then I also remember that I wouldn't be what's best for you. Still… when I heard what you had done… Buffy, I'm so sorry that you ended up having to get married just to have a home and food and the necessities."

Buffy took a deep breath, softening as she heard how truly sorry Angel was. He always had a way of making her feel guilty when she chewed him out, "It's really not that bad. Not bad at all, in fact. I mean, I know it's not normal or as nice as if it was all as it appeared… but he's a great guy. He's good to me… goes to the store at all hours of the night when I have a craving, makes sure I take good care of myself… he helped me put the crib together and stuff."

Buffy closed her eyes against the tears forming there, "Yes… all the things you should be doing… and there's a lot of other things he doesn't do that you ought to be doing. I… I go to the doctor all by myself and I see all these other women with their husbands and boyfriends. Sometimes I feel like I have a big scarlet 'a' on me… and everyone who looks at me can tell that I'm some dumb girl who got knocked up… and dumped. Do you have any idea how many times I get looks from people? I know that's not your fault that they feel they can pass judgement on me… but I wish I could come home and have you assure me that what they think doesn't matter," she cried, then calmed a bit, "I know that probably sounds silly... but it's important to me."

"I'm sorry, Buffy.. I wish I could… you do have Giles and Xander and… this guy," Angel offered, purposely not speaking the name of the man who he felt immense jealousy towards already.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's not the same, though, Angel. *You* are the father of my baby… and you aren't here for me."

"Trust me, it's just as hard for me, being here and knowing you're having our baby and I'll never get to see her or anything."

"Excuse me if I am not overwhelmed with pity for you," she lashed out, "God, you have it so easy. You aren't the one who gets all fat and ugly! I used to get looks from guys… I never knew how nice that felt until I started looking at myself in the mirror and seeing this… disgusting reflection. But you, you can still go anywhere and have all these girls *dying* to be with you. I know you think this is petty and stupid, but you get pregnant and have your body become not your own and see how *you* feel. Damn it! I resent you *so* much."

"You act like a martyr all the time. Don't you recall 'Oh, let me leave town to make things easier for you. It breaks my heart, but it's best for you. Let *me* suffer… I'm really the one in pain, you know? And if you complain, you're a big spoiled brat because *I* am the martyr!'?" she ranted.

Angel was taken aback, wondering if this was one of those pregnancy things. Expectant mothers were notoriously… irrational. Not that Buffy was really being all that illogical… just… skipping from subject to subject and going from angry to sad… and he was having a hard time keeping up, "Well, I know it's late… but I am here now… on the phone, anyway… and I'd like it if you wanted to let it all out now. I know it's not the same but-"

"No, it definitely isn't the same," Buffy replied, "And it's *extremely* late… but I suppose I should take what I can get."

Angel felt a little hopeful as Buffy softened again, "So… you're feeling okay?"

"No, I'm eight months pregnant, I feel like crap. I'm rarely comfortable, I can't see my feet, I pee all the time, sitting down and getting up is exhausting… and I can't sleep because even when I *am* comfortable, don't have to pee and I'm not starving… she's kicking or moving or doing something to keep me up," she complained, then smiled, "But I *am* eight months pregnant, so it's all completely normal… and that's a bit of a comfort."

"Yeah… but you already knew that, right?" she asked, recalling how he'd mentioned it earlier.

Buffy shrugged, "I am extremely indecisive about names. I usually choose one or two a week. I hope I think of one I like for real when she's born, though… I'm thinking legally changing her name will be a pain in the butt."

"I hope to God you're right," she said, moving her hand over her stomach, "I'm so scared she'll end up being a stripper or a hooker or even shooting up her school when she's a teenager and I'll have to take the blame because I'm a single mom. Actually, as far as anyone will know, I'll have divorced her 'father' when she wasn't even five months old. They'll write books about how horrible I am."

Buffy laughed, "Right… I can just imagine what your reaction would have been if you'd found out I had married a guy and planned to have him stick around."

"Buffy… I love you and despite what you may believe, I love this baby. I want the best for both of you… if there is a man in your lives… he'd better be good to you."

Buffy relaxed back against the couch, not being able to help but smile. As angry as she was with Angel for not being there… it sure was nice to be able to talk to him…

Riley came into the apartment and heard the shower running. Buffy had certainly gotten a late start that day, and she'd been awake before he'd left. Still… she didn't move as quickly as she used to, and everything seemed to tire her out. It had gotten to the point where he tried to do anything he could for her so that she could rest… he felt guilty watching her struggle to do everything.

Walking into the kitchen, Riley threw the empty water bottle he'd finished on the way home in the trash can and noticed the empty mini-donuts box and milk bottle. Smiling, he shook his head and wondered if he ought to buy stock in Hostess. Buffy had a sweet tooth like nobody he'd ever seen.

Moving to the counter, Riley checked the caller ID to see if perhaps he'd gotten any calls while he'd been at the extremely boring meeting. All he found was one call; it was long distance from Los Angeles… so all he had was the city, not a name.

Frowning, he wondered who it might be. He certainly didn't know anyone in LA. However, he realized, Buffy's father did...

"Hey, you're home," Buffy said, smiling as she walked out of the bathroom, wearing capri pants and a loose maternity shirt, her hair still wet.

"Yeah… on the caller ID, there's a call from Los Angeles. That's your dad, isn't it?" he asked, then it dawned on him, "Or possibly it's Angel. And judging from the look on your face… I'd say it's the latter."

"No, it's none of my business," he halted her, holding up his hand. Regrouping, he shook his head, "Wait, you know what? It *is* my business. How did he get this number? Is he coming here?"

"I don't know how he got it," Buffy lied, not wanting Riley to get mad at Giles, "And no… he's not coming here."

"I don't know," she shrugged, "Why? Nothing has changed. We had a conversation. It's no big deal."

"I didn't even get a chance! I was in the shower, I came out, and first thing you do is start interrogating me," she replied defensively, "Why do you even care?"

"But if you're going to make a fool of yourself, falling all over this loser, it affects me. People think you're my wife and you could make me look like an idiot."

"Don't worry, I won't be embarrassing you, Riley," Buffy replied angrily, turning and storming into her bedroom.

Sighing, Riley leaned against a wall and put his hand on his chest. This was *not* happening. Angel wasn't supposed to be in the picture ever again!

Just moments earlier, he'd had the small comfort that at least for the next five months, he could be with Buffy. Now... he wasn't so sure.

"Fine," he replied gruffly, as he had been ever since their big argument the day before.

"I made some stir-fry with chicken for dinner," she said, "It'll be all ready in a few minutes."

"I'm not hungry," Riley told her as he walked into his bedroom and shut the door.

Buffy frowned and walked over to the door. She really wanted to make things right between them again. Hastily, she lifted a hand and knocked on the door.

The door opened abruptly, startling her. Riley glowered down at her, "Well, that was presumptuous of you."

"About what? It's all very simple. You want to be an idiot and talk to a disgusting vampire that got you pregnant and threw you away like you were a piece of trash. I don't think he deserves for you to give him the time of day and I'm appalled that you actually want to talk to him, but you are an adult… what can I do?"

"Yes, I do," he insisted, "You're the one who doesn't understand. I find this entire thing offensive, but as we both know all too well, I am not really your husband. I am not the father of your baby. A year from now, I'm thinking we won't ever even see or speak to each other… so it doesn't really matter."

And with that, he shut the door in her face. Buffy found she could no longer fight the tears and leaned against the wall as they streamed down her face. What was she going to do?

Joyce smiled and patted her daughter's cheek affectionately, "You feeling okay, Sweetie? I don't want to wear you out."

Her mother grinned and nodded, "Let's go to the food court now, what do you feel like?"

"Um… one of everything," Buffy joked, "Actually meat sounds really good. I'm thinking Big Mac… and maybe fries."

The two of them entered the busy food court and searched around for a moment for a table. Once they found one, Joyce insisted Buffy sit down and set all their packages on the table while she went and bought their food. Buffy looked in disbelief at all the bags of stuff her mother had bought for the baby. She was definitely making up for lost time and already spoiling her granddaughter.

Buffy looked up and was surprised to see Forrest standing next to the table, *smiling* at her. For the past seven months, she'd gotten the impression that he mostly liked to pretend she didn't exist. Forcing herself to smile back at him, she replied, "Hi Forrest."

"Oh, that sucks, I would *love* to see Riley," a blonde girl who appeared to be a few years older than Buffy said from her spot next to Forrest.

Forrest grinned and explained, "She really likes Riley. Uh, Elle, this is Buffy. Buffy, this is Elle Andrews… she's a friend of my girlfriend, Carrie."

"Hi… nice meeting you both," Buffy replied, trying to casually look around for her mother, hoping the line at McDonald's wasn't too long. She *so* needed to be saved!

"Wow, you're really huge," Elle said, taking in Buffy's stomach, "When is your baby due?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes and feigned hurt, "Actually I'm not pregnant, I just have a weight problem."

Elle gave Forrest a confused look as she flushed in embarrassment at her faux pas. Why had he told her this chick was pregnant?

Forrest laughed loudly, hoping Buffy was getting nice and jealous. His plan would work all the better this way. Turning to Elle, he said, "She's kidding. Buffy's due… boy, really soon now, aren't you?"

"Here we go," Joyce announced, carrying a full tray to the table, "Maybe if you're still hungry, I can get you a McFlurry for dessert."

"Wow, you really eat stuff like that? It must have, like, a million calories… then again, I guess you have the best excuse, right?" Elle asked, a sugary smile on her face.

"Oh, I've always eaten whatever I wanted with no problem. Actually, before I got pregnant, I had a hard time keeping weight *on*!" Buffy replied in the same sweet tone.

Joyce looked over at Forrest and the two girls, "Oh, hello. Are you friends of Buffy?"

"Well, I'm actually Riley's friend… but of course, any friend of Riley's is a friend of mine," Forrest grinned, "Forrest Gates. This is Elle Andrews and Carrie Timon."

"Well, we'll leave you ladies to have your lunch. See you later, Buffy!" Forrest called as he started to walk away.

"Yes, I'll be seeing you really soon… Forrest promised to take me to Riley's apartment," Elle grinned.

"Oh, goodie," Buffy replied sarcastically, though Elle didn't appear to notice… or if she did, she didn't care.

When the three of them were gone, Buffy noticed her mother smirking at her from across the table, "What?"

She tried to think of a really good excuse, but in the end, went with honestly, "Because she totally digs Riley and she's skinny and not a walking disaster... like me."

"I have my suspicions as to why, but do you want to just come clean?" the older woman asked, then continued when her daughter shook her head, "I think you may not just think of Riley as a friend... perhaps you have a crush on him?"

Buffy laughed sardonically, "No, I can honestly say I don't have a crush on Riley."

"Well, I don't mean to overstep my bounds here, but I'm not blind and despite the fact that I have only seen Riley a few times, I get the distinct impression that he also has feelings for you."

"He may have, at one time… he said he loved me," she admitted, "But that was a long time ago and things change."

"Of course… you feel real love for him. I even still love your father, in a way. Love doesn't just disappear. If he loved you, really loved you… he didn't stop."

"Yes… he used to… seem kind of sad when we mentioned the divorce… like he wanted to stay married. Maybe I imagined it, but that's the impression I used to get. Now, though, it doesn't seem to bother him in the least. It's just like the divorce is no big deal… which is what it's supposed to be, anyway," Buffy said sadly, "Can we please change the subject? This is depressing and my hormones are… insane… and I really don't feel like crying in the middle of the food court."

"Certainly," Joyce agreed, patting her daughter's hand, "What would you like to talk about?"

"How about the fact that *you* knew *I* have feelings for Riley? What gave me away?"

"Buffy, you're my daughter… I can read you like a book. You'll discover very soon now exactly what I mean."

"What is all that?" Riley asked as he entered the house after working the day shift and found Buffy on the couch in the living room that was littered with bags.

Buffy smiled, encouraged by the fact that Riley had actually spoken to her without being asked a question first. And more than one word at that! After the past few days, she'd grown accustomed to mostly 'yes' and 'no' responses from him.

"Mom went a little overboard. We went to buy the stroller and she ended up buying it… along with a swing, an activity center, books, clothes and tons of other stuff."

Riley simply grunted before scurrying to his bedroom. Buffy watched his retreating form mournfully; it was just like after they'd had sex all over again. However, she really hoped she wouldn't have to be attacked by a vampire in order to get Riley to speak to her again.

Why couldn't she just be mad at him? Angel was the father of her baby and it wasn't like Riley was still offering to stay married to her. It wasn't like he was offering her anything at all… she was just trying to take what she could get by talking to Angel. It would be a different story if he wanted to have a real relationship. *Then* he had good reason to have a problem with her talking to her ex.

Still, she wasn't angry. She hated the idea that Riley was so disgusted with her. She loved him, and who wouldn't mind the person they loved feeling that way about them? As sick as it made her, though, she wasn't going to stop talking to Angel… not unless things between she and Riley changed. It had been so nice to be able to get it all out with him… and not have to feel guilty for complaining to someone who was going out of their way to help her with her situation. Angel was half-responsible for that situation and not suffering nearly as much… he deserved to hear her bitching.

With a sigh, Buffy managed to stand up and began lugging the packages to her bedroom. She should have let her mother carry them in there, but she'd turned her down since didn't want to feel like a total invalid. It took several trips, but Buffy managed to remove them from the living room. She still had to put everything away, but at least Riley didn't have that to yell at her about.

Waddling into the kitchen, Buffy fixed herself a glass of water and started sipping on it when there was a knock at the door. Wondering who it could possibly be, she made her way to the door and found Forrest, Elle and Carrie on the other side. They'd changed clothes, obviously planning for a night on the town.

Even more depressed, Buffy left the three of them in the living room and trudged over to Riley's door and knocking, "Riley, you have guests!"

She turned around and started heading back to the living room, figuring she ought to go ahead and attempt to be a good hostess, no matter how much she didn't feel like it, but was intercepted by Forrest in the hallway. He tugged her in the kitchen and smiled.

"Hey, you don't mind me bringing Elle here, do you? I wanted to talk to you earlier, but I didn't get a chance," he explained, "She knows the whole story with you and Riley and she actually thinks it's sexy how he's helping you out."

He nodded, "You see, Riley has the major hots for this girl. He's been driving me nuts lately, talking about how much he wants her."

"Well, it's guy talk, you know? He says stuff to me that he'd never say to you. Trust me, ever since you two got back from Iowa, Elle is all Riley's been talking about. She had this party while you guys were gone and he's been promising to make it up to her," Forrest replied, "Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and hook the two of them up. I figured the four of us could all go out tonight. I wanted to make sure you're cool with it, though. I mean, it's not like you guys are really married."

"You think I didn't? I mean, he didn't know we were going to come by right now, but I did promise Riley that I would try to set it all up... it all happened kind of fast. He told me to ask you… I know it's, like, no notice, but you're fine with it, right?"

Buffy nodded numbly as she heard Riley come out of the bedroom and was visibly surprised to find Forrest and Buffy in the kitchen, "What's up?"

Riley gave Buffy a questioning look at Forrest pulled him into the living room, "Elle, you know Riley. Riley, this is Elle Andrews."

Buffy stood alone in the kitchen, listening to the casual conversation in the next room as Forrest explained to Riley that he'd thought it would be fun for the four of them to have a double date. A moment later, Riley came back to the kitchen, an unsure look on his face.

"They want me to go out with them. I probably should, right? I mean, they expect me to…"

"Are you mad?" he asked, realizing he was almost wishing she was. If she was mad, that meant she had a problem with him seeing other girls, and if she didn't like the idea of that... a part of her must want him to be seeing *her*.

"Good, have fun!" she replied, forcing herself to smile like her life depended on it.

Riley feigned a smile as well before leaving her alone in the kitchen. A moment later, she heard them exit the apartment, leaving her all alone. Free to show her feelings at last, Buffy put her hand over her mouth as the first sob escaped her throat.

She staggered out of the kitchen, her vision blurred by tears, and went into her bedroom. Thankfully, she'd set all the packages on the floor, so she was able to collapse on her side on the bed as she cried for all that she would never have. Angel… who she loved despite all the hell they had gone through... and now Riley, a more wonderful man than she could ever dream of... who had been willing to spend his life with her… and she had ruined it. It was now official- he was on a date with another girl, one that wasn't pregnant with someone else's child, and she was quickly becoming a bad memory.

Riley was miserable. As angry with Buffy as he was about Angel, he would have much preferred spending the evening with her than with Elle.

Not that there was anything wrong with Elle. Despite the fact that she seemed to go for the 'ditzy blonde' façade, he could tell she was intelligent. She wasn't ugly… just plain looking… with a bit too much make-up. And she seemed to absolutely adore him. She hung on his every word and appeared to be willing to do anything to flatter him.

Yet he still would rather be with Buffy, who could be eight months pregnant, wear no make-up and sit around in sweats and a baggy shirt, and just be herself… and make him want to gather her in his arms and kiss her until he had to breathe.

He stayed, however, knowing that Forrest would kill him if he made up some lame excuse and went home an hour into the date. Besides... as much as he wanted her, he didn't want to give Buffy the satisfaction of seeing he couldn't have fun with another girl. It was ridiculous- here he was on a date with a girl who was totally into him and completely unhappy because it wasn't with a different girl… who didn't even care that he was on a date with someone else.

With a new resolve, he smiled at Elle and tried to focus on what she was saying. He just had to let go… have fun. Maybe then he could get Buffy out of his head.

The sound of the phone ringing awoke Buffy, who realized she must have cried herself to sleep when she saw the glowing red numbers on her alarm clock read nine o'clock. Picking up the phone, she groggily said, "Hello."

Taken aback, Buffy replied, "Um… yeah… but that's okay, I didn't intend to fall asleep in the first place… I have stuff to do."

"Is this a bad time, then?" he queried, hoping it wasn't. It had taken all his self control to not call her every day since the past Tuesday, but he wanted to give Buffy her space… so he'd waited four days.

"No, it's fine," Buffy assured him. It was nice to have someone to talk to. It made her see how much she'd really come to depend on Riley throughout the course of their marriage. Xander and Anya had each other, as did Willow and Tara... and sometimes she just didn't feel like hanging out with Giles and Joyce. Now that Riley had his own private thing going… she could really use Angel's company.

"I'm fine," he answered, "I've actually been busy with… business stuff… lately."

"Yeah… our building sort of blew up a few months ago, but we still get a lot of jobs," Angel told her, hoping she wouldn't interrogate him about where he got so much money to give her. He really didn't want to have to divulge the details of the jobs he'd done for Eddie.

"Yes… I'm staying with Wesley for the time being, until I get a new place," he explained, "So what have you been up to?"

Buffy shrugged, "Not much, I hang out at home a lot. There's still another month before school starts, but I will have to register soon. Other than that… I work a few days a week and snack my way through every other one. Today mom and I went shopping, though. We got the stroller I wanted, plus my mom talked me into letting her get a bunch of stuff. It's amazing how she has *totally* become Excited Grandma. I'd better watch out or she'll turn this kid into a terror."

"No, this was the last of it. Now, I can just sit back and wait for the baby to come," she told him, before wrinkling her nose and adding, "Except I haven't packed the bag I am supposed to take to the hospital yet. I really shouldn't put that off to the last minute. Maybe I'll do that tonight."

"That would be a good idea... just don't overdo it," Angel said, "What about school next semester, are you going full time or what?"

Buffy shrugged, "I'm not sure. On the one hand, it's more important than ever that I get my degree… but on the other hand, I wonder if I may hate having to be away from the baby. Then again, maybe I will welcome the break… that sounded horrible, but I have checked out books and stuff and they all say it."

"No, I'm sure any parent, no matter how much they love their child, needs a break from crying and feedings and dirty diapers."

She smiled, reassured, "However, going back full time may not be an option. There's no child care on campus and every day care center I check out requires the baby to be at least three months old. Besides, I really hate the idea of leaving her at one of those places. I know I have Giles and my mom and my friends and they will love to babysit, but this would be a few hours five days a week… which is a lot to ask. At least Giles has promised I can bring her with me to work, so I don't have to worry about that."

"Absolutely; what choice do I have? Angel, babies like food and clothes and a roof over their head. Quirky little things, eh?" she joked.

"Buffy, *I* will take care of your money, please? From the beginning, I promised you that I would help you out financially and I am sticking by that. Trust me, I can make enough to pay for an apartment, food, clothes… everything for the both of you."

"I like my job, Angel. I feel like I help Giles, and I'm good at it… and I like the fact that I earn a paycheck."

"So, you won't take any of the money I put in the account for you?" he asked, then sighed and explained, "I saw that you haven't used a penny of it."

"Please, Buffy, I know that there are a lot of other things you wish I would do… but this is the only thing I feel that I can. I love this baby, I do… I want to take care of her too."

"Yup, everything is great. Heart, lungs, brain… all fully formed and functional. The doctor assured me that whenever she decides to arrive, I will have myself a perfectly healthy baby girl… very possibly weighing eight pounds- damn you for being so big."

Buffy smiled and rubbed her stomach. It was so great to be like this with him, enjoying the baby as opposed to fighting about it. She shouldn't be so upset about Riley… she had Angel, after all. He was the father of her child and he *did* love her. This was the way things were supposed to be.

"Did Forrest tell you how impressed I am by how you're helping out that girl?" Elle asked, smiling at Riley from across the small table at the bar.

Forrest had ignored Riley's pointed looks and left the two of them alone while he and Carrie went and danced, but so far Riley had been successful at making polite conversation while praying the night would end. Giving her a small smile, he replied, "No, he didn't."

"Well, I do. I mean, I think 99% of the guys I know would have run far away from her if it had been their kid. You took responsibility, and it's not even your fault."

He shrugged and fiddled with the straw in his soda, "Well, I think that says a lot about the cowardice about most guys. It's kind of sad that our standards are so low. Believe me, it's not some huge nuisance to be married to Buffy."

Riley wasn't sure how exactly to respond to that, so he just smiled and said, "Thanks."

"So… how exactly does this work. Forrest says you guys agreed to just stay married for a year? So when will the marriage be over?"

"Well, we got married January 3^rd, so I guess we will file for divorce on or around that date. I think it takes about six months to get divorced here, though, even without any disputes, so I guess it won't be final until July."

Riley felt incredibly awkward, having an idea what she was leading up to, but nodded, "I mean, she knew about this tonight… and didn't care."

"Yeah, but is it *totally* open? Like… you could bring girls home if you wanted? It's not like you two share a bed, right?"

"No, Buffy has her own room. As far as our arrangement, I suppose I could bring people home, as long as I was discreet… however, that's not really my thing."

"Such a gentleman!" she laughed, not discouraged by the fact that Riley had basically told her he wasn't down with casual sex. As upstanding as he was, Riley was still a man… and she knew what men wanted.

Buffy surveyed the room to be sure she had put away all the packages. Save for the pile of boxes in the corner with things she still had to assemble, it was all taken care of. Sighing, she hoped she'd be able to put the stroller and swing and all that together *before* the baby came. Unlike when she bought the furniture, she doubted she could get help from Riley.

Deciding she wasn't quite ready for bed, Buffy went to the kitchen and searched around for a snack. She grabbed a bag of Tostitos and a jar of salsa and set to devouring him while she wondered what, and hopefully not *who*, Riley was doing. What if going out with Elle reminded him of all he'd been missing for the past seven months? Her best case scenario was that he'd start going on a lot more dates. The worst case… she'd be seeing a lot more of Elle.

"Oh God, what if she starts spending the night?" Buffy lamented to herself. There was absolutely no way she was going to be able to handle that!

Closing her eyes, Buffy reminded herself that in five months the divorce they had only talked about would be a reality. Riley wouldn't be there every day. He *would* date other girls… have sex with them. And she had absolutely no right to be upset. Anyway, as she'd realized before, she had Angel. It didn't matter if she didn't have Riley, as long as she had Angel.

Trying to feel confident in that fact, Buffy put the food away and sat in the recliner in the living room to watch the news. She'd come to find the seat very relaxing... and was soon asleep.

"I had a really good time tonight," Elle smiled, "We'll have to do it again sometime."

"Yeah," Riley replied in his best non-committal voice. At long last, he was almost home. Forrest had the right idea, taking them all the way to Santa Barbara so that they wouldn't run into anyone they knew… and knew Riley had a very pregnant wife at home, but he hated the long drive it entailed.

Riley nodded, fully intending to be a typical guy and never call, "It's in my wallet."

Forrest smirked at Riley through the rearview mirror, ignoring the way his friend glared back at him. Elle was definitely just the thing for him. It would take a few more dates, but if Riley could get a little more angry at Buffy… and Forrest could get a little liquor in him… the vixen would have him in her bed. As soon as Riley slept with Elle, Forrest was positive he wouldn't have to worry about Buffy being a problem any longer.

They pulled up to the gate in front of the apartment complex and Forrest was able to punch in the password without too much difficulty. Thirty seconds later, they were stopped in front of Riley's apartment. Home had never looked so sweet!

"Let me walk you to your door," Elle offered, hoping it would lead to a lot more.

Riley shook his head, "No, I wouldn't want you out on your own in the dark. Trust me, I'll be fine."

"Sure… bye guys," Riley bid them farewell as he hurried out of the car and up the sidewalk to the door after the longest night of his life.

Riley quickly unlocked the door and entered the apartment, surprised to see Buffy in the recliner. He soon saw that she was actually sound asleep, and deduced that she must have fallen asleep watching television. Opting not to wake her, since he was aware of her difficulties getting comfortable in bed every night, Riley gently pulled the remote out of her hand and turned off the television. Grabbing the thin quilt off the couch, he covered her before hastily kissing her forehead.

He couldn't help it. As angry as he was with her for Angel… and for hurting him so much… he loved her. Smiling, he stroked the back of his hand over her cheek; she was so beautiful, and in sleep she looked so peaceful. After a moment, he stood and turned out the lights before heading off to his own bed. As much as he hated to think about it, they had a lot of problems… and needed to discuss them the next day.

Buffy gave Riley a smile as he walked out of the bedroom, happy to see that nobody was with him... so he probably didn't bring Elle home. Besides, the fact that she had awoken with a quilt over her and the lights and television off did not elude her. A part of her couldn't help but be touched that he had made the effort.

"Morning," he grumbled, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet and pouring himself some cereal.

"We went to dinner and then a bar," he replied, then looked at her for the first time that morning, "It was such a nice change of pace; Elle ate her own meal and didn't touch *my* plate."

Buffy looked down, knowing the verbal jab was aimed at her. The last time they had gone out, she couldn't help but admire Riley's chili cheese fries and he had laughed and insisted she should help him eat them. Happily, she'd complied, but now she saw that it had really bugged him.

Buffy felt tears sting her eyes and rushed past him, out of the kitchen. Thankfully, she'd had a ton of nervous energy since waking up that morning and had already showered and dressed. Grabbing her purse, she called back at him, "I have to go… to the store."

Riley heard her exit through the front door and sighed, feeling like a huge asshole. It wasn't right of him to say such mean things to her, especially since she was *pregnant*. Her emotions were out of control… besides, in Lamaze they had said stress could induce labor. Even if they had meant high stress, upsetting her couldn't be healthy.

Besides, he had *hurt* her... and even if he didn't like her talking to Angel and it hurt him that she didn't care if he dated other girls… she didn't deserve to be mistreated by him.

Riley resolved to apologize when she got home. She was just running to the store, so it wouldn't be long before she came back. He'd tell her he was sorry and didn't mean what he had said. After that... he'd stop being so gruff with her. It was her life and her baby… and no matter how much he loved her, he had no say in the matter.

Xander was surprised to hear someone knocking frantically at the door. Realizing it may be Giles or Willow with news of some horrible big bad that the Initiative wasn't handling, he rushed over to the door and flung it open... and found a distraught looking Buffy on the other side.

Worriedly, he wrapped his arms around her as best she could, since it made it hard to get close to someone when they were due to give birth any day, and lead her inside his apartment. He managed to get her to sit on the couch before rushing to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Bringing it back, he sat down beside Buffy and stroked his hand over her back and tried to calm her down. After a moment, she'd relaxed enough to start sipping the water.

"Not really anything, I guess," she shrugged, "It's just… Riley said stuff to me and it hurt… really hurt. I never thought he would ever say such things to me."

Buffy had already told him that Angel had called and he knew Riley was far from happy about it, that he wasn't really speaking to Buffy except for what could be construed as civilized conversation. Buffy was one of his best friends and Xander loved her, even understood why she felt this need to speak to Angel.... but he could see exactly where Riley was coming from.

"Well, it all started last night… I think, anyway," Buffy replied, "Forrest showed up with two girls… he introduced me to them when we ran into each other at the mall yesterday. One of them is *really* into Riley. She was… okay… I guess. You know, if you like the whole thin, beautiful, pulled-together thing. So, like I said, he shows up with the girls last night and Riley goes with them on a double date."

"Riley went on a *date*?!" Xander exclaimed. He never, in a million years, would have guessed that Riley would go on a date with anyone other than Buffy.

Buffy nodded, "But I can't really be upset about it because he did ask me first to make sure I was okay with it. Of course, I said yes… it would have been really wrong to tell him no, you know?"

"Not really," he told her, since he thought she should have said no because she did love him after all, "But go on."

"I told him I didn't care if he went… so he did. At first I was pretty bummed and cried a lot… you know, that's my thing now… sitting around, being fat and crying. Then Angel called again."

"Of course I did. Xander, he's the father of my baby. I know you hate him and *I* am still mad that he refused to be an active father, but I feel an obligation to him. I can't keep all details about his own daughter from him. Besides… it's nice being able to talk to him."

"Well, I talked to Angel, did some stuff and fell asleep in the recliner. I woke up this morning and saw that Riley had put a blanket on me and everything, so I was feeling kind of happy. Like, maybe things would be better between us. Unfortunately, Riley was his usual… not perky self. I still tried to be nice, though… asked him how his date was… and then he told me it was nice because his date didn't eat off his plate," she told him, her voice cracking as she started to cry again, "Because *I* ate off his plate the last time we went out! I'm pregnant, she's not! And… I know now that this sounds really stupid but it still totally hurts!"

"I know," he said, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against him so her head rested on his shoulder, "Don't let it hurt you… he doesn't really mean it."

"So what? You ate off his plate, big deal. It's not like Riley's starving to death. Did he ask you not to do it?"

Xander smiled down at her, "There you go. It didn't really bother him, he was just lashing out. You see… I think Riley's mad that you lied about not caring that he went on a date. He wants you to care and be upset and tell him not to go... because he wants you to love him. And as far as Angel... I've been there, Buffy. I know how it feels to know that a vampire has your heart. I remember acting out on that myself."

"I don't know," she shook her head, "I think it has less do with me and more to do with Angel being a *vampire* and that's why Riley doesn't trust him."

"No, it's that Angel is a vampire and Riley doesn't trust him *with*your*heart*… which is wise, all things considered."

"But we're getting divorced, something Riley really doesn't seem very broken up about... Why does he care?"

She cocked her head to the side and looked at him closely, trying to figure out what he was suggesting. Giving him an incredulous look, she replied, "He doesn't love me."

"The same way you could tell him that you didn't care if he went on a date with someone else when you love him," he countered, "You're both so busy saying things because you're angry and jealous and hurting that you can't even see what's right in front of your faces. You love him, you know that. He loves you… and he told you that and showed you in so many ways on so many occasions that you ought to know it. Now you just need to pull yourself together and make it happen!"

When Buffy finally came in the door an hour after leaving, Riley was chomping at the bit. When he saw that she was sans any bags from the store, he grew suspicious.

Buffy frowned, knowing that Xander's suggestion would never work. She still hadn't been positive that Riley had been in love with her, but she had come home with a new attitude to have an open mind and try not to let Riley's sour mood upset her.

"Because I bought a candy bar and *ate* it," she retorted, "Then I drove around for a little bit. Want to check my odometer? You're not my keeper, you know."

Riley clenched his jaw, smelling the distinct aroma of aftershave on her, "Just out of curiosity, Buffy… did you happen to brush up against a male clerk?"

"Met…" she began, confused until it clicked in her mind, "You *would* think that!"

"You know what? Why don't you go run off and call Elle up for a date? Then you'll have something else to do besides get all psycho about *my* life!"

"Fine, I will!" he retorted, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket and retrieving from it the cocktail napkin that Elle had written her number on. Picking up the phone, he punched in the digits and waited for an answer on the other end of the phone.

Elle smiled widely, shocked to hear him calling, especially so soon. She'd really been discouraged the night before, but apparently Forrest had been right, "Hi Riley… I'm so glad you called."

Riley grinned, finding it a lot easier to appear enthusiastic around the girl when Buffy was watching, "You know how you mentioned you had that sexy little red sports car? I was thinking it would be really great if we could take that for a spin."

He laughed, "Here's hoping... I don't suppose you have a sexy little red number for yourself to go with it?"

Buffy turned and stormed into her bedroom, deciding she couldn't stand there and listen to him any longer. She had to get out of that house. Grabbing a bag, she threw a towel, magazine and sunscreen inside before grabbing her maternity swimsuit that Claire had bought her and marching back out into the living room where Riley was hanging up the phone.

"No, I'm going to the beach and you aren't my father… you aren't even my husband, so it's none of your concern," she replied, heading to the door.

Riley snatched the swimsuit from her hand, "What are you doing, you can't *swim*?!"

"Are you stupid?" he shouted, "You're eight months pregnant! You can't just jump in the ocean and get thrown all over!"

"You are infuriating!" she screamed before leaving him alone in the apartment, her swimsuit still in his hand.

Buffy parked the car in it's normal spot and climbed out as quickly as she could in her condition. Looking out at the water, she realized Riley was right. There were quite a few waves coming in, big ones, and it definitely would have been hazardous for her to swim.

Frowning, she decided to forget that Riley was right. It would be preferable to just forget Riley, period. Xander was wrong, Riley couldn't love her. If he did, there was no way he could be acting this way.

She closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down and push those thoughts out of her head. As the fragrance of the sea filled her senses and the wind gently blew her hair around, Buffy found the peace she yearned for whenever she came to her special place. After a few moments, Buffy kicked off her shoes, deciding a little wading couldn't do any harm.

As Riley went to answer the door, presuming it was Elle, he wondered for the dozenth time since she'd gone where Buffy was. She *had* left her swimsuit, but perhaps she went to the beach anyway. However, he hoped she'd opted for one of her friends' homes, since he definitely didn't like her being off on her own when she was so far along in her pregnancy... especially since she was upset.

"Hey there," Elle purred, giving him a sexy smile as he opened the door, "You look wonderful tonight."

"Thanks, you look very nice too," Riley replied, "Want to come in? I just need to grab my keys."

"Sure," she said, stepping inside as he went back in his bedroom. Seeing Buffy approach the door, Elle smirked, "Hi, what a surprise to see you!"

"Really? I was the person putting the password in at the gate when you zipped on by and came in," Buffy retorted.

Riley came out of his bedroom, keys in hand, and was visibly relieved to find his wife was home, her hair tousled, but still safe and sound, "Buffy, I was getting worried."

"Sure looks like it," she replied, then gave Elle a fake smile, "See you later… Emily?"

"If you say so," Buffy shook her head in amusement and walked to the kitchen, with Riley at her heels.

"Buffy, if you need me to stay-" he offered, partly because Buffy looked pretty upset, but he was also actually kind of afraid to be alone with Elle. She was looking at him like he was a buffet and she was famished.

"No, by all means, go," she insisted, the leaned closer to speak in a quiet voice, "She looks like a sure thing to me. You did request the red, after all."

He knew she wasn't serious, though, and replied, "If you don't want me to go, I won't."

Riley grew exasperated and shook his head. It was pointless to even try to be reasonable. "Fine, don't wait up."

She stood in the kitchen, staring at the wall, for the longest time. As much as she hated it, a few stray tears slid down her cheeks before Buffy got herself together. Rubbing her belly, she assured her daughter, "Mommy's not usually such a wimp, I promise you. And as soon as you're born and I get my hormones back to normal, you'll see that I am totally tough."

Walking into the bathroom, she frowned at her reflection in the mirror. She really was a mess. Her hair was going every which way, her make-up was mostly cried off and she had an all around frumpy look about her. This one really couldn't be blamed on her pregnancy… somewhere along the line, she'd just stopped making an effort.

Picking up her brush, Buffy attempted to fix her hair and continued, "You know, I was once considered very attractive… and if it kills me, I will look good again. Riley will see me and forget all about stupid Elle! And then we can have fun and tell him he lost his chance with Mommy!"

Feeling a little bit better, Buffy went and grabbed the phone and quickly dialed a number, "Xander? Do you have any plans for the night?"

"Hello! Here we are, with pizza!" Anya announced, smiling brightly as Buffy opened the door, "Personally, I don't think Xander should have offered to bring dinner since you invited us over and should have been responsible for feeding us, your guests, but Xander told me since you're pregnant, there are special rules. Plus, you're bummed because Riley left you all alone so he could get easy sex."

"Honey, I told you the girl wanted to give him easy sex, but I knew he'd say no, remember?" Xander replied, then looked at Buffy, "He's not going to have sex with her, I'm sure of it."

Buffy gave them a small smile, "Thanks for coming… I really appreciate the company."

"It's fine," Anya replied, walking into the apartment and setting the pizza boxes down on the table before going into the kitchen, "However, Xander informed me of your visit this morning when I was working and that, along with your calling him over tonight. I have to warn you, Buffy, if you weren't all huge and pregnant and obviously no threat to Xander's fidelity, I would have a strong urge to rip your hair out."

"I'm used to Anya, I know she doesn't mean to hurt my feelings… and she actually doesn't."

Buffy nodded, "I'm trying not to think about Riley… and doing a lot better than I did last night. Thank God you guys are here or else I probably wouldn't have been able to avoid the endless 'what's he doing right now' questions that would drive me insane."

"Buffy, you aren't making the moves on my man, are you?" Anya called from the kitchen.

The blonde laughed, "Yes, but unfortunately he isn't succumbing to my feminine wiles."

Anya came out of the kitchen with plates, cups and a 2-liter soda in hand, "Ah, you are joking. I can appreciate humor."

"Oh good… I don't want my hair pulled out," Buffy smiled at her before going and grabbing a bottle of water for herself out of the refrigerator.

"So," Xander said as the three of them settled at the table, "I get to spend the evening with two beautiful women. What should we do? Kinky stuff?"

"So… this guy that got Buffy pregnant… he dumped her as soon as he found out?" Elle inquired as she sipped her wine.

Riley shook his head, "They weren't a couple by the time she found out she was pregnant and he's not in the best position to be a father, so he told her he couldn't be involved."

"Do you think Buffy accepts this divorce thing, though? I mean, I know you guys agreed beforehand, but she seems like she might have this idea that you're really going to be her husband or something."

"Trust me, she doesn't," Riley assured her. Their situation seemed to be the exact opposite, in fact. He had the idea that he could really be her husband… Buffy was the one who wanted the divorce.

"Yeah? I don't know… I mean, I know I have only seen her a few times… but I know people… and from what I can tell, there is a lot of stuff going on with her."

Elle was taken aback at how he seemed to be angry, but complied, "Sure... Seen any good movies lately?"

"So then he kidnaps her and sets to seducing her," Anya told Buffy, in reference to the latest romance novel she'd finished.

"Because he is a man and men have stupid ideas so he thinks that even if she's *extremely* reluctant to sleep with him, knowing he's her husband, in his mind he thinks if he knocks her out, ties her up and blindfolds her and has his wicked way with her… it'll make things all better," Anya explained, "But then he finds out she's not a virgin!"

"Check me out, Mommy!" Xander exclaimed, rushing out of Buffy's bedroom with the newly-assembled stroller with a teddy bear in it.

"Of course I did it, this is like my area of expertise," he told her, "Before the night is over, you'll have yourself a swing and play center too."

"Thank you," she replied, kissing him on the cheek as he leaned down next to her.

When Xander returned to the bedroom, Anya scooted a little closer to Buffy on the couch, "So… what does it feel like knowing Riley is with another girl? I try to imagine if I had to sit home while Xander went on a date… and it makes me feel wretched."

"Well, then why did you let him go? Why didn't you tell him you were sick or something, make him stay with you?"

"That's pathetic. Would you really want Xander to stay with you if he just did it out of guilt?"

"Because when you love someone… you want them to love you back. You want them to *want* to be with you… not feel obligated," she sighed, "Trust me… I hope you're never in my place, but if you are… you'll see that it's humiliating."

"I suppose you're right. I do enjoy knowing that Xander wants me just as much as I want him. It makes me feel special," Anya replied, "You're sure that Riley doesn't want you? I mean… he knows you don't always look all huge."

She smiled sadly and shook her head, "He makes fun of how big I am, how much I eat… would a man say those things to the woman he loved?"

"You really didn't need to get out of the car," Riley told Elle as they walked to his apartment door.

Buffy grimaced from her bed inside the apartment as she cursed the window for being so... thin. Now she'd have to hear something she was positive she really didn't want to.

"Look, I know you have certain… ideas… and I'm sorry, but I'm just not interested," Riley rebuffed her.

"Please, don't deny it. Forrest told me, and even if he hadn't, I can tell the way you freak if I say anything remotely bad about her… Hell, I can by the way you look at her," Elle told him, "But it's not going to work, you *have* to know that. She's *pregnant* and it's not even your kid. You don't want her."

"I don't want her? You don't know me. I don't want a girl just because she's beautiful, which Buffy is, by the way. I want *who* Buffy is. She's everything I want and love and need… rolled up into a tiny perfect package. I'm sorry, but you can't compete with that. You're not her."

Inside her room, Buffy lay stunned as she heard his words. He loved her. Xander was right… Riley *loved*her*! So much so, that he wouldn't even sleep with Elle!

Elle sighed and shrugged, "I think you'll change your mind. I certainly hope so. When you do, give me a call?"

Long after Riley had gone into the apartment and headed straight to his room, Buffy stared unseeingly at the ceiling, trying to process what had just happened.

He really, truly loved her… and she loved him back. Everyone had been right… they ought to be together. Smiling, Buffy decided she should try to make that happen.

Buffy realized that would never happen with Angel in the picture. If Riley loved her, then he was jealous of Angel and he didn't trust him… and it would always be an obstacle. Still… it didn't seem fair to shut Angel out of his daughter's life, at least without giving him a chance.

Picking up the phone, she hastily dialed Wesley's number. Thankfully, Angel was the one to pick up after the first ring, "Hello?"

"Buffy, is everything okay?" he asked worriedly, since it was awfully late for her to be calling. Plus, he'd only talked to her the night before.

"It's fine…I just needed to ask you something," she answered honestly. She was 99.9% sure of the answer, but it only seemed fair to give him a chance to respond, "It's actually more of an ultimatum… and I hate those, but they are sometimes a necessary evil."

"Yeah… I… need more. I mean, I've enjoyed the phone calls with you, but I'm having a baby and phone calls just aren't going to cut it. I need you to be here for me, physically, not just emotionally. I need you to be here to hold my hand when I go into labor, to stay up with me nights when she won't sleep… to help change diapers and deal with potty training and everything," she explained, "I need for you to be a father to her. Giving her money… it helps… but it's not what she really needs. She deserves a father and I deserve for her to have a father too. But I know that if I have you on the phone in this… half-involved state… I'm never going to be able to make a relationship work. So basically, I need you to be in or out."

"No, I'm tired of doing things I don't want to do because you need me to so you can have what you want and need. I'm putting my daughter and myself first."

"But you're saying if I don't drop my life and move to Sunnydale, I am cut off from my daughter."

"First of all, you shouldn't mind dropping your life for your daughter. I was ready to drop out of college and lose my mother for her. I mean, I *did* lose my father over this," Buffy reminded him, "Second… I won't do that. It's not fair to not let you know anything about your daughter. But at the same time, it's not fair to make me deal with you when it hurts me so much... So if you decide you can't be a part of our lives… you can go through Giles. I'll make sure he knows he can tell you everything."

"Are you sure you have to do this?" Angel asked, knowing he didn't need to give her his answer.

"Okay," he replied sadly, knowing in his heart that this *was* best for Buffy and the baby… to keep up the phone calls truly would be selfish. He'd have to settle for talking to Giles… for the time being.

"You know… I'll make sure you find out when she's born… so you'll know her birthday. If you want, you can send her birthday and Christmas gifts and I'll make sure she gets them. I can even send you pictures."

After a few more moments of polite, morose conversation, the two hung up. Buffy felt a bit of guilt, but knew she wasn't being cruel. Angel had made his choice… and he did have a choice.

Riley awoke in a bad mood. Granted, he hadn't been in the best of moods for nearly a week, but he felt worse today than in ages. He was an utter and complete idiot. He'd had a girl practically throw herself at him… but no, he loved Buffy and it would feel so wrong to him if he were to sleep with anyone else. Of course, Buffy didn't love him… didn't give a rat's ass if he did whatever he wanted with any other woman, because she was so busy talking to the vampire who got her pregnant and dumped her.

He hated himself for being such a fool and was furious with Buffy for not loving him back. It wasn't exactly fair, but when was love judicious?

Knowing he had to be at work in an hour, Riley rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom to take his shower.

Buffy hummed cheerfully as she poured some batter on the grill. The last time she'd made pancakes, Riley had told her she should be sainted. Didn't they say food was the way to a man's heart?

She'd awakened that morning with a fresh attitude. Gone were the doubts and disbelief that Riley loved her. The conversation she had heard the night before was much more convincing than anything else she had heard before. When Riley had come out and told her that he loved her, she'd worried it was only because he felt guilty or just liked being her hero. When his family had told her, she figured it was just because they wanted her to stay with Riley, as she'd thought when Xander had tried to convince her. However, when Riley had told Elle that he loved Buffy, she'd seen that there was no reason to lie. In fact, it would have been easier for him to not admit it.

Riley loved her and she loved him. They had a lot of issues to work out, a major one being Angel, but she was confident they could do it. She knew Riley had to work that day, but if she got him off to a good start with her new attitude and a good breakfast, perhaps she could get him to agree to sitting down and having a talk with her over dinner that night.

Just as she put the fourth pancake on a plate and turned off the grill, Riley walked out of his bedroom in his uniform.

"Perfect timing," she smiled and held up the plate, "I made you breakfast. I feel like I owe it to you because… I'm really sorry about last night. I was in full hormonal monster mode."

Riley slowly nodded, "You were pissed that I went… and you insisted that I go."

"I'm sorry I was so cranky… but what did you expect me to do? It's *your* life!"

He wanted to grab her and shake her and scream that it was *their* life, but he just clenched his fists and tore his gaze away from her perfect face, knowing he would lose all his willpower if he kept looking at her, "I accept your apology, okay? Don't worry about it. I'm used to it after all these months. I can't wait until you have the baby... then maybe the you'll be bearable until we can get divorced."

She hated herself for it, but Buffy let his words get to her. Tears welling in her eyes, she set the plate down on the counter, "Well, I'm sorry I am not even *bearable*. Why don't we just get divorced now?"

"Why not? I know my mom would be thrilled to have me home… and I have a job now so that's taken care of. If that's what you really want, we can just get divorced now."

"If I am insane, it's probably from you, always snapping at me, no matter what I do! I tell you to go on a date, you get mad. I apologize, you get mad. I can't win with you!" she shouted, rushing past him to her bedroom door, which she slammed behind her.

"The dramatic exits stopped working a while ago. However, if you'd like to get us evicted, just keep slamming doors!" Riley screamed as he grabbed his keys and stormed out the front door.

His hands were shaking as he walked into the garage and climbed in his jeep. What if she wasn't there when he got home? As angry as he was at her… he couldn't bear the thought of not being able to see her every day.

No… she would see that they couldn't get divorced now. Once she calmed down, she'd come to her senses and forget the whole thing. Still tense, Riley backed out of the garage and drove through the complex. He began the journey to the Initiative driving a bit faster than normal, not paying attention like he usually did. Instead, his thoughts were focused on the blonde he was utterly in love with at home… and what a mess he'd gotten himself into.

He was so focused on thoughts of Buffy that Riley never saw the 'road closed' sign until it was too late. Slamming on the brakes, he tried to stop in time... only to lose control...

After twenty minutes of crying, ranting and pacing in her room, Buffy reemerged to get something to drink. She really didn't know what she was going to do. She loved Riley, wanted to try making it work so they could spend the rest of their lives together... But on the other hand, he was already causing her a world of pain. They weren't even a couple and he always managed to bring her to tears with just a few cutting words.

Pouring herself a glass of juice, Buffy walked out into the living room when a photo on the end table caught her attention. She picked it up, staring down at the image of Riley and her on their wedding day. It had been a part of their wedding package and they'd decided to go along with it, at least to be able to show it to all the guys at Lowell House and make them happy.

She traced her finger over Riley's face and thought about all that had happened since then… they'd moved into the apartment, made love, they'd had so much fun putting together the baby's furniture, gone to Iowa together... and then all the latest crap with Elle. He'd changed a lot… at least in her eyes. All those months ago, Riley had been this sweet, idealistic guy that had everything going for him and she was sure whatever he did in life, it would be great. Now she saw that he had flaws, like anyone else. He couldn't sing for anything. He sometimes let his pride and anger get the better of him, like when it came to Angel. Sometimes she caught him drinking straight from a juice or milk carton and putting it back in the refrigerator....

She set down the glass and the picture before turning and slowly walking to Riley's bedroom… the room where they had shared their one night of passion. It was a night she'd never forget… and when she was perfectly honest with herself, it was a night she never wanted to forget.

She entered the room and sat down on the bed, immediately leaning over to bury her face in the pillows, deeply inhaling an aroma that was purely Riley. It was a combination of his shampoo, soap and cologne... and Buffy couldn't imagine a man having a better scent.

Knowing it was an incredible invasion of his privacy, but unable to stop herself, Buffy moved around the room, taking her time as she looked over his pictures of his family, the containers of cologne and deodorant on his dresser, the all his grooming supplies on the counter of his bathroom… and she was overcome with the thought that she couldn't lose him. She hadn't been serious about moving in with her mother. She couldn't leave and just give up. They *had* to work things out because Buffy couldn't be away from him. She'd already had to go through the loss of Angel... it was too late to stop herself from falling in love with Riley… so she'd be damned if she let him walk out of her life without a fight.

Buffy was startled out of her reverie by the telephone ringing. She quickly picked up the extension in Riley's room, "Hello?"

"Yes," Buffy frowned, since it wasn't often that she was referred to by that name. Usually it had to do with legal stuff.

"Hello, Ma'am, I'm calling from Sunnydale General," the voice on the other end explained, "I'm afraid your husband has been in an accident."

Buffy's heart stopped beating for a moment. Trying not to panic, she asked, "An accident? What sort of an accident?"

"A car accident," the person replied, "He's just now being brought into the emergency room, so I don't have any details on how badly he is injured."

"Oh God… um… I'll be down there right away. Thank you for calling," Buffy replied, shakily hanging up the phone.

Moving as briskly as possible in her condition, Buffy grabbed her purse and went to her car, praying everything would be all right. When Riley had left, he'd been pissed as all hell… and that was because of her. If that had caused him to get in an accident… this was all her fault! Swearing that she would never forgive herself if Riley wasn't okay, Buffy backed out of the garage and headed to Sunnydale General Hospital's emergency room… a place she was unfortunately all too familiar with. Never, however, had she been so scared going there.

Unfortunately, Buffy couldn't find a parking place anywhere near the entrance to the emergency room and had to curse the hospital for not having expectant mother parking like even the mall did as she trudged up the doors. Her heart pounding so loud that she was sure everyone in the building could hear it, Buffy approached the front desk.

The man looked at a board on the wall and nodded, "He's Dr. Patterson's patient. I'll send for him now."

"Thank you," she nodded, turning to look around the emergency room, praying the doctor would be quick. God, why did she have to fight with Riley? If she'd just kept her mouth shut, he'd be fine. Now he was… hurt… she had no idea how badly… what if he died and she had to live with the fact that the last time they'd seen each other, they had fought.

"Mrs. Finn?" an older man with glasses and a white coat asked as he approached her.

Once again, Buffy was struck by how strange that name sounded as she slowly nodded, "Are you Riley's doctor?"

She allowed him to lead her to some plastic seats that were bolted to the floor, as though someone would actually want to steal them, and grappled to sit down with his help.

Once she was situated, the doctor sat in the seat beside her and turned so he was facing Buffy, "Your husband was in a very serious accident. As best the police can tell, he was driving too quickly when he came upon a closed road and didn't have enough time to stop. He skidded out of control and rolled his vehicle."

The doctor nodded and continued, "However, he was *extremely* lucky. No broken bones, just cuts and bruises and a concussion."

"Well, I'm going to keep him here overnight. He needs to be kept under observation, besides, you are in no condition to be taking care of him. I'm optimistic that he will be fine to leave tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh thank you, doctor, that is so wonderful!" Buffy smiled widely and squeezed the doctor's hand.

Dr. Patterson's eyes widened at the grip such a small girl had, but returned the smile, "You're very welcome."

"Can I see him?" she asked, not caring that they were supposed to be on the outs. Seeing Riley alive and somewhat well was far more important.

"Yes, thank you again," she replied, sighing in relief as the doctor walked away. Buffy tried to settle back and relax until it was time, but even without being totally worried about Riley, she was tense. Hell, she hadn't been able to relax in ages because the baby was always pushing on something or she was hot or aching… and that was before she'd almost had a heart attack.

Her thoughts came to Claire and she realized that she had better give her mother-in-law a call. Even if her baby was still in-utero, Buffy felt like a mother and knew if her child was in trouble, she would want someone to call her immediately.

She found a pay phone and dug around in her purse to find the calling card Riley had insisted on giving her soon after they had gotten married. Luckily, she knew the phone number by heart and quickly placed the call.

"No, I'm not upset… not really," Buffy took a deep breath, "Um.. maybe you should sit down."

"Riley had a car accident," Buffy explained, "I'm at the hospital and they haven't let me see him yet, but the doctor did talk to me and he's going to be fine."

"He has a concussion and cuts and bruises, they said. He was very lucky," she replied, opting not to mention the details of the accident.

"I bet this wouldn't have happened in a better car. I always hated that jeep, Buffy! It was a deathtrap! You weren't in the car too, were you?"

"No, he was alone… I haven't been able to get in that thing for months," Buffy smiled slightly, "But it wasn't because he was in the jeep that he had the accident."

"Oh, I know, but maybe he wouldn't have been injured at all in a different kind of car!"

She restrained from telling Claire that injuries in any vehicle were probably inevitable in a rollover, "Well, it really doesn't matter now. What's done is done… and he'll be okay."

"Well, I am going to call my travel agent right now and get plane tickets for John and myself as soon as possible."

"That's not necessary! Riley will be okay, I promise you. I'll take good care of him."

"Honey, you're in no condition to be taking care of him… in fact, you need someone taking care of you. We're coming."

Buffy sighed, knowing there was no arguing with her, "I hope Riley doesn't get mad. You know he doesn't like people making a big fuss."

"Oh, he just thinks he doesn't like it. He'll be fine," Claire assured her, "Now, will you make him call me when you get to see him?"