destructo-girl.com

"One Thing Leads to Another "

Author: Pamela
Contact: destructo-girl@cox.net
Notes: A big thanks goes out to Kay and Moe for being my beta readers!

"That was so funny! Wasn't it?" Dawn chattered as the three of them walked out of Sun Cinema at nearly five that evening.

"Yeah, it was very funny," Graham agreed in that quiet way of his, smiling down at the bubbly girl.

"I bet you one thing, though, she may have laughed, but Buffy thought it was gross," she winked at him before looking at her sister, "You did, didn't you?"

Buffy saw both Dawn and Graham giving her amused looks and calmly replied, "No, I don't seem to appreciate bathroom humor as much as you two, but the movie *was* funny... sometimes."

Dawn's stomach grumbled, demanding to be fed, which Buffy found surprising considering all the candy and popcorn she had consumed.

Buffy nodded, "Want me to make some of that stir fry stuff? Graham if you want, you're free to join us."

They shared a smile before Graham nodded, "I'd love to have dinner with you two again… but you shouldn't go to the trouble of cooking. Let's go to a restaurant."

"Mmm… these are the best," Dawn raved, taking a bite out of one of her crispy chicken fingers doused in honey mustard.

"Really? You give us the impression that you hate them the way you're shoveling them in your mouth like they may run away," her sister quipped.

Graham smiled and took a bite out of one of his own chicken fingers, "They are pretty good."

"Buffy's just cranky because she's having a boring old salad," Dawn informed him.

Buffy stuck her tongue out at the girl before stabbing a piece of lettuce and bringing it to her mouth. It was true that her salad was less than exciting, but watching Dawn devour her dinner wasn't exactly appetizing.

The three of them looked up and saw Dawn's friend, Lisa standing beside their table. Dawn sat up straighter and smiled.

"Oh, I'm just here with my family and saw you, so I thought I'd come over," Lisa explained, "Hi Buffy."

"Hi," Buffy smiled. She liked Lisa, she'd been a good friend to Dawn, and had been really supportive through the whole thing with their mom. "Oh, Lisa, this is Graham, Graham this is Lisa. She's Dawn's best friend."

"You too," she said as the smile on her face grew wider, looking at this very handsome man. She and Dawn were going to have to dish before school the next day!

"Thanks for today, it was really nice," Buffy said shyly as she walked Graham to the door. He'd come in and hung out for a bit when he'd returned them to their home.

"Buffy, I've been thinking about your car. You know, when I bought my Mustang, it was a piece of crap. Not just in need of a paint job, but the engine too. I completely rebuilt it… so I know my way around a car. Want to let me try to get your air conditioning working again?"

"Buffy, you have risked your life to save mine. Granted, it was a lot of people you were saving at the time, but I was one of them. Besides, I doubt you wouldn't do the same if it had just been me."

"Positive. I can work on it tomorrow night, probably do it all in a few hours," he answered, "I'll just have to go home, change and have dinner after work and then I'll be here."

"Alright," Graham smiled, unable to resist an invitation to share a meal with her.

"So… who is Graham?" Lisa asked almost immediately after she and Dawn had greeted each other in front of Sunnydale Junior High School.

"Uh… the guy who was sitting with Buffy and I last night," Dawn replied, unsure of what Lisa was asking.

"Really? That kind of sucks… Graham's really hot… we could live vicariously through your sister. Plus, Buffy really needs a man."

"Yeah… that's true," Dawn agreed, "But who knows… they're just friends right *now*."

"Maybe… Graham looks at Buffy… well, not like how he looks at me. But he's pretty quiet, so he's hard to read. And Buffy is still so weird trying to take care of me and be strong and all that, so I can't figure her out half the time. Oh! But the other night I invited Graham over when I had to make dinner for my assignment, and Buffy spent a long time in her room getting ready."

"Well, that's something!" Lisa grinned, "You know, we're getting out of school in a few days and we're going to have a lot of free time."

"Ooh… we can play matchmaker!" Dawn giggled, walking arm-in-arm through the doors with her friend.

"Wow, this is really nice," Graham, commented, looking down at the meal Buffy had prepared.

"Oh, it's nothing," Buffy lied. She'd spent several hours that morning going through cookbooks and trying to find the perfect meal. She'd finally settled on lemon chicken, seasoned potatoes and a green salad. It was more 'adult' than macaroni and cheese, but didn't appear to be overly romantic.

"How come you never made this before?" Dawn asked before taking a bite, "Mmm, it's yummy."

"Thanks. And I am trying to learn how to make new things. We're going to get sick of eating the same stuff all the time if I don't."

"Too bad you two aren't guys. We can eat the same thing every night," Graham half-joked.

"I know! Why don't we order pizza tomorrow night and the night after and so on and see when I get sick of it?"

"How about you just do your homework tonight and we can eat well-balanced, healthy meals?"

Dawn gave Graham a sullen look, "Gee, I don't have to wonder why you like hanging out with Buffy. She's just *super* fun."

"She has her charms," Graham replied quietly, making Buffy blush before studiously cutting her chicken.

There was a definite tension in the room, which did not go unnoticed by Dawn, but she chose to file that away later so she could discuss it with Lisa. Playing the part of the oblivious sister, she rambled on about the latest rumors Kirsty Sims was spreading around the school until Buffy and Graham got over their discomfort and once again relaxed enough to make casual conversation.

Buffy carefully walked into the garage with a cold bottle of water. She didn't want to startle or annoy Graham by hovering, but it seemed rude to sit in the house while he'd spent nearly an hour under the hood of her car.

"Actually, yeah, that's be great," he replied, gratefully taking the bottle from her and gulping some down.

Graham grinned, "It's really driving you insane that you have to let me fix this, doesn't it?"

"Yes, I'm a control freak, I know," she sighed, "But actually, what really bothers me is that it's *my* car and you are doing all the work."

"I hope you aren't just saying that to make me feel better," Buffy told him, then asked, "So, any idea what's wrong?"

"Is that incredibly difficult to replace? I can take it to a shop. Dawn and I can rely on rides from friends for a few days, we'll be fine."

"No, it's not hard, it just takes a few hours. However, it's four hundred dollars for a new compressor."

Buffy grimaced before shrugging, "Not the most fun way to spend four hundred dollars, but I need a car."

"I have some money; I could loan you some," he offered, knowing better than to even suggest that he *give* her money. Besides, he really didn't like the fact that he'd give Buffy four hundred dollars without a second thought. He liked to think he was a good friend, but he wasn't *that* good a friend to someone he'd hardly known until a week and a half earlier.

"Don't worry, I have the money," she assured him. "But would you mind taking me to the store? For one thing, I have never bought a compressor before and also, it's kind of a long walk."

"Of course I'll take you," Graham rolled his eyes. She was self-reliant to a fault.

After Graham had cleaned up a bit and Dawn had headed over to Melinda's so she wouldn't have to go to the 'boring car parts store', he and Buffy climbed in his Mustang and headed to the nearest auto parts supplier. They walked in the door and found the store was relatively quiet, with only a few customers inside. As they walked down the aisles and found what they were looking for, Graham noticed Buffy getting quite a few appreciative looks, and felt the envy of the other men. Despite the fact that he wasn't supposed to even think of Buffy as a female, it sure felt nice.

Since it was already almost nine o'clock by the time they returned home and Graham had told her he expected to take several hours putting the new compressor in, Buffy insisted he finish it the next night. When she went to get Dawn from Melinda's, she asked if her sister could get a ride to school with them the next day and they said it was fine, so the girls would be okay without a car for the day.

Graham reluctantly agreed to leave the car as it was, since he was pretty tired already and didn't relish the thought of being there until one in the morning.

"Thank you so much again," Buffy smiled, "You have no idea how wonderful you are. I trust you, and I wouldn't trust a mechanic, so at least I have peace of mind now."

"You're sure you two aren't going to have to eat broth for a month because you spent so much money, right?" he asked.

Graham nodded enthusiastically, "You don't have to ask me twice. That's some of the best food I've had in years."

After they said their good-byes, Buffy went back to the kitchen to start looking for something else to cook the next night since she had a couple hours before Xander was supposed to show up to stay there while she patrolled. Dawn had already gone to bed, so she had peace and quiet while she scanned through the cookbooks, determined not to feel bad about doing it. She and Graham had gone in a car, at night, by themselves, to the store and hadn't done anything inappropriate. They were doing great at the just friends thing.

All she had to do was get rid of the underlying tension that was often right under the surface when Graham was around and she'd be home free.

"Ahh, so this is some of that newfangled air conditioning those kids are always talking about, huh?" Buffy joked as she and Graham sat in the front seat of her car testing the new compressor.

"Thank you again, so much," Buffy gushed, "I feel like I owe you big. What can I do?"

"You're here, you let me be your friend and spend time with you and your sister. That means a lot."

"Oh yeah, we're the two most popular hostesses in town," she retorted, "Actually, this *is* Sunnydale."

They smiled at each other and were silent for a moment before Buffy opened the passenger side door and climbed out. Graham did the same on his side before following her out the garage door and back into the house.

"So, that should take care of your air conditioning problem, I hope. I kind of got the impression from Dawn that it goes out a lot?" Graham asked.

Buffy shrugged, "It was okay for about three years, then it started going out once or twice a year."

She smiled, "I know; it's not very reliable and I really should just trade it in for a new car like Dawn says, but I just can't."

Graham frowned and was about to ask her why she couldn't when there was a knock at the door.

"Oh, that must be Willow!" Buffy exclaimed and rushed to the door. Graham trailed behind, wondering why Buffy had friends coming over at eleven o'clock at night.

"Hi!" she greeted as she opened the door to reveal a redhead standing on her porch.

"Just fine, I totally lost track of time, I can't believe it's already eleven," Buffy replied, then looked at Graham, "Oh, I'm sorry, you guys remember each other, right? Willow is my best friend and Will, Graham worked with Riley in the Initiative."

"Uh, no," Graham replied quietly, "At least not yet. It is possible that he'll be coming back sometime soon."

"No, Graham and I have just been hanging out," Buffy explained, "He actually just spent tonight putting a new compressor-thingy in the jeep so I can have air conditioning again."

"It's nothing," Graham said modestly, "I'm good with cars and I like helping Buffy."

Willow smiled widely at him; she'd been a bit anxious first since, with the exception of Riley, she really hadn't trusted anyone from the Initiative. However, Graham seemed like a good guy - he *had* been Riley's best friend, after all - and Buffy really needed to have good people like that around her, especially now.

"Willow and my other friends all take turns coming over to stay here with Dawn while I patrol," Buffy told him, "You know, just in case."

"I can take care of myself, as far as slaying is concerned, anyway," she assured him as the two of them walked to the door, "See you in a while, Will."

The two walked out front and said goodbye before parting ways. As Buffy walked alone down the quiet streets towards the cemetery, she thought about Graham. She really had wanted to him to join her, but she had seen how exhausted he was. Besides, despite the fact that they had been really well behaved as of late, as far as keeping their hands, lips and other body parts to themselves, she still didn't trust herself not to repeat past mistakes.

Dawn sighed into the telephone, "Yeah, but I really don't think this is a good idea. Buffy will probably get mad at me."

"Nah," Lisa replied on the other end, "Just tell her that kids are supposed to bring both their parents to the graduation and even though she isn't your mom and Graham is just a friend, it would make you feel less left out. It'll make her feel totally guilty, trust me. My cousin, Talina's parents are divorced and she has a million ways to get what she wants through guilt."

"But that doesn't seem right. I mean, Buffy can be a pain in the ass but I love her and she's in just as much pain about my mom."

"Yeah, and if we were doing something to hurt her, that would be a problem. You like Graham, right?"

"Then don't you think they should get together?" Lisa persuaded, "We're *helping* Buffy."

Dawn grabbed her sweater and ran down the stairs to find her sister waiting, "I'm ready."

"No, why?" Dawn asked, trying to appear calm, as she opened the front door and started walking to the jeep parked in the driveway.

"Yes you are," Buffy argued, but shook her head and brushed it off as she followed her sister to the car.

She had other things to worry about, like how she was going to get through the next few hours. Buffy had only agreed to go because the graduation had been important to Dawn. However, all the sympathetic looks and comments she would be getting from all the parents who knew about her mom were something Buffy absolutely didn't enjoy.

Buffy frowned as she saw her sister looking around the crowded auditorium. She still hadn't been able to shake her suspicions that Dawn was up to something and now she appeared even sneakier.

Dawn looked at her and tried to figure out what to say when she saw Graham walk in the doors about ten feet behind Buffy.

Surprised, Buffy turned around and saw that her friend was indeed there. "Graham, what are you doing here?"

Dawn smiled nervously as they both turned to look at her questioningly. "Well, you see, this is something that you're expected to bring your parents to and Buffy, you're the closest thing to a mom that I have. And I know Graham isn't my dad, and I don't see him as fatherly or as your boyfriend or anything, but he's my friend. And even though he hasn't been my friend for long, he's special to me. Almost like a big brother. If I can't have my parents here, I wanted two very special people here. Are you guys mad?"

Buffy and Graham exchanged looks before turning back to Dawn and giving her small smiles.

Dawn could tell her sister was near tears and felt a pang of guilt, but reminded herself what Lisa said. This was for Buffy's own good.

"Oh that's great. Well, you two sit down and I'll go check in with Mrs. Douglass," she told them before rushing off, relieved that it had worked. Now it was up to the two of them.

Doing as Dawn directed, Buffy and Graham found two seats in the rapidly filling auditorium.

"I think Dawn feels a connection with you. You're a great listener. You don't treat her like a kid; she appreciates that."

"It's so good to see you here. You're taking such good care of little Dawn. After your mother passed, I was so worried about her, but she has such a wonderful sister, that I'm sure she'll be fine," the woman rambled, "Oh, who is this?"

"I'm sorry, this is Graham Miller," Buffy explained, then added before the woman jumped to the wrong conclusion, "He's a friend of Dawn and I."

"Ohhhhh," she replied, raising her eyebrows. Obviously Mrs. Jennings didn't quite buy that.

Buffy was afraid she was about to get a long grilling about how things were going, or even worse - the real deal with Graham, but luckily Mr. Jennings appeared and politely dragged his wife away.

Buffy nodded, "I first ran into her when I had to go bring some paperwork to the school right after my mom died. She is very concerned about Dawn and I. But in all honestly, I think she would love it if I totally screwed up so that she'd have something to gossip about."

Buffy returned the smile before their attention was directed to the Sunnydale Junior High principal standing on the stage in front of the microphone. All thoughts of Mrs. Jennings disappeared as Dawn's graduation ceremony began.

After the graduation concluded, the socializing began. Graham found that there were other parents, like Lisa's, who were sympathetic towards the girls but didn't make them feel uncomfortable. They mingled and Buffy used at least one roll of film taking pictures of Dawn by herself and with friends. Upon Dawn's insistence, Buffy posed with her little sister for a shot.

Nearly an hour later, the three of them headed out towards the parking lot. Dawn gave Buffy a pleading look, asking her a question without using words, and Buffy smiled and nodded.

"Graham, Dawn and I had planned to go out for a nice dinner before everyone comes over for cake and ice cream at our place. We'd love it if you joined us."

"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude, I'm not family or anything," he replied, even though he really wanted to enjoy a meal with them.

Graham gave Buffy a questioning look and received a shrug for an answer. Nodding to the younger girl, he replied, "Sure, if you want."

Despite the fact that Buffy was a slayer and could probably kick his ass with one hand tied behind her back, Graham insisted on being a gentleman and walked her to the jeep before he and Dawn headed over to his mustang.

"You know, this really is a nice car. I'm sorry I called it old," she told him as he started the engine.

"I guess a lot of girls like it, huh? You know, older girls.. like Buffy's age."

Graham wondered where she was going with this. "I suppose; some do, some don't."

"I think Buffy likes it. And she likes you. She really likes it when you come over and stuff," Dawn told him, then worried she was being too obvious, "And I do too."

"The both of us? I mean, would you still like it if you came over and I wasn't home, so it was just you and Buffy? Or if Buffy wasn't home so it was just you and I?"

"Well I like the both of you as individuals so I imagine I would have just as much fun if I just hung out with one of you."

"Oh," she replied, trying to analyze his answers. Graham sure was one hard guy to understand. Opting to not be too obvious, she decided a completely innocent question was in order.

"I have an aunt that lives up in Santa Cruz. She let me leave it in her garage."

"Oh yeah, because you have to have some permanent address, right? My friend Debbie's brother is in the army, and even though he wasn't at their house for, like, a year, it was his official address."

"So you don't have a girlfriend at all? I mean, Buffy and I are the only people you spend time with here so I doubt you have one in Sunnydale. Where else could you have one?"

"Oh." she said coolly, trying to conceal how pleased she was. At last, an answer from him and such a good one!

"I can't believe you ate that. It was practically still mooing," Buffy said to her sister in reference to the quite rare steak Dawn had just consumed.

"You can't get a worm from eating steak, even undercooked steak. Can you Graham?"

"I am staying out of this one, ladies," he replied holding his hands up defensively.

Since they had all finished their meals, the waiter dropped the bill at their table. Buffy pulled the cell phone out of her purse and held it out to her sister. "You'd better call Lisa now."

Dawn took the phone and smiled at Graham, "Lisa's going to come over for dessert and to spend the night."

Dawn looked around the crowded restaurant. "You know, it's awfully loud in here. I'm going to go make the call over by the bathrooms."

"Okay, just be careful," Buffy called after her. "So, did you want to have dessert or have you reached your quota on Buffy and Dawn time for one night?"

"Wow, and after a car ride all alone with Dawn too! I figure you didn't talk much, since you're the quiet type, and I know my sister. She probably talked your ear off."

"She just asked some weird questions. Like, she wanted to know if a lot of older girls liked my car, and if I liked spending time with just you or just her as opposed to both of you at the same time. And then she failed miserably at casually asking if I had a girlfriend."

"I don't know. Maybe Dawn just can't handle silence and asked anything that popped into her head."

"Well, it's true that she can't handle silence, but she probably would have just babbled about boy bands if she couldn't think of anything to say," Buffy told him, "Don't worry, I don't think it's a serious kind of crush where she will end up with a broken heart, just a little thing she has for you that will probably go away when she gets to know you better and you become less mystery and more normal guy to her. That's what happened with Xander."

"Lisa!" Dawn squealed into the cell phone as her friend picked up on the other end.

"Pretty good. Graham is great at being evasive, but I did manage to drag it out of him that he doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Great! That would have screwed things up big time," Lisa replied, "Did you try to find out if he likes spending time with Buffy?"

"Yeah; he says he likes both of us and would still like to hang with either of us alone. I'm telling you, Lisa, he is *difficult*."

"I'll say. I need to take a more active role in this. Tonight we have to come up with some plans," Lisa said. "Did you remember the stuff where you give him ideas about Buffy?"

"Not really," she said as she looked over at the table, "Oh, but they are laughing right now. I think Buffy's teasing him because she's cracking up and Graham is kind of blushing."

Graham fidgeted nervously as the two teenagers grinned at him. He'd driven Dawn to Lisa's house where they had picked up her friend and met up with Buffy back at the Summers' house. The three of them had just arrived a few minutes earlier and were seated at the dining room table while Buffy got the cake ready.

"Hey, did you read the article about 98 Degrees in the new Teen People?" Dawn asked.

Once he left them alone in the room, Dawn and Lisa high-fived each other. They were *good*.

She had been doing fine. until she pulled the round cake out of the bakery box and looked at the words written in blue icing.

Dawn had graduated from junior high. She'd go on to high school. In a few months, it would be the big day - her first day of high school. In a few years, she'd be graduating from high school.

And her mother would miss it all. She wasn't there that night, as she should have been. She wouldn't be with them for Christmas or either of their birthdays for the rest of their lives. There were so many things to come, so many important occasions that they *deserved* to be able to share with their mother, and they would never get that.

As the harsh realization came over Buffy, it felt like the pain she had felt immediately after her mother's death hit her with the force of a tidal wave. She covered her mouth with her hand as she sobbed. Tears sprung to her eyes and she moved her hand over her face as she began to cry.

Despite the fact that she had spent months dealing with her mother's death and had tried to move on, going through the motions of every day life, her pain was still very real and very raw.

Graham walked into the room and was completely caught off guard, finding Buffy standing at the counter and obviously crying.

Graham slowly moved next to her, "That's very understandable. I doubt you're going to get through any holidays or special occasions without a good cry for some time."

He gave her a tender smile and gently stroked her cheek. "If you're not up to this, I could make up an excuse for you."

Buffy shook her head, "No, I want to do this, for Dawn. It's important to me that she has a good time. But that is very sweet of you."

She broke their contact and walked over to the sink, splashing some water on her face. Turning around, she looked at him questioningly.

"Great," she replied, then pulled some plates out of a cabinet and grabbed forks out of a drawer and handed them to Graham before picking up the cake and taking a deep breath. "Here goes."

The rest of the night passed by uneventfully. If Lisa had gotten her way, she and Dawn would have done a lot more manipulating, maybe get a goodbye kiss out of Buffy and Graham, but Dawn was a bit more hesitant. She wanted Buffy happy, and she liked Graham. but she knew it would probably be better if it happened naturally.

"You know, you really don't have to help me," Buffy said as she washed a plate and handed it to Graham, who rinsed it off before drying it with a towel.

"Buffy, haven't you learned yet that I like helping you? I figure all the times you averted the apocalypse and thus saved my ass makes me owe you a lot," he smiled.

"But really, you're doing this because you want to talk about earlier, right? About my mom?"

"Well. you're my friend and I want to help you. You're going through one of the hardest things in the world right now. I know what it's like. I know how a part of you wants to curl up and die, but you feel like you have to be stronger than ever. You feel like you can't show any weakness, you can't cry and you can't grieve. But you have to, Buffy. You have to let yourself feel the pain. After a few times, you'll realize that you won't fall apart if you let yourself have a good cry. If you don't, the pain doesn't just go away. It will eat away at you and things will end up a lot worse."

Buffy was surprised, not only by the amount of speaking Graham had just done, but by how right he was. She realized that he had only scratched the surface of what had happened when he'd told her about his mother's death.

Graham returned the smile and shook his head, "I just don't want you to feel like you have to be the rock and never cry, even when you want to. I know that Dawn needs you and if you are a mess, she'll be a mess, but if you miss your mother for whatever reason and you feel the need to cry, do it. Dawn's strong too, you know; she can handle it. And I want you to promise me that if you ever just want to talk, to release some emotions, that you'll call me or one of your other friends. Just talk to someone, don't bottle it up."

"I. I'll try." she reluctantly agreed, "It's just hard for me. Riley told you what happened before he left, right?"

He nodded slowly, "You guys kind of failed at communicating, he freaked and let vampires bite him and you were upset."

"Yeah, well I kind of suck at the talking thing. I have issues, I guess. I'm sure he told you about Angel too, right?" she asked, and then continued at his nod, "What we had was very intense and painful. I mean, I will always love Angel, but boy did I get hurt with that relationship. It made me more wary. I didn't want to open myself up to that kind of pain again, so I held back with Riley. I kept him at arm's length. I was always too scared to tell him I loved him and I wouldn't even let him help me when my mom was sick. I still don't think I can just open myself to do those things again, but I'm aware of it now."

"I have no doubt that if you know you have this problem, you can work past it. There's nothing you can't do, Buffy," he told her.

She smiled up at him and, almost unconsciously, they leaned towards each other until their eyes were closed and their lips pressed together as they shared a tender kiss. Abruptly, they pulled apart and averted their eyes from each other.

Buffy found that there was no dishes left in the sink and quickly drained the water.

"But thank you again, for everything. I feel very lucky to have you as a friend," she smiled shyly.

They stared at each other again and were heading towards kissing again when they managed to get control of themselves.

"Yeah, thanks for coming. I know Dawn really appreciated it too," Buffy told him as they walked towards the door.

Two figures sat at the top of the stairs, observing the exchange. Once Buffy had gone into another room, they looked at each other.

"What did you expect them to do, have their tongues down each other's throats?" Dawn asked rhetorically.

"So are you going to go on vacation this summer?" Willow asked Buffy as they sipped their mocha lattes together at a table in the Bronze.

"But Buffy, everything *is* under control. Even Giles says that we could easily take over your patrols."

"You guys are discussing me going on a vacation?" Buffy responded, raising her eyebrow questioningly.

"Well, we love you and we worry. Maybe some time *away* would be good for you. And Dawn too, of course."

Buffy sighed, "I'm going to try and get in touch with my dad again. Dawn would love to spend some time with him, I'm sure. Maybe she can stay a couple weeks with him, but I really feel like staying home."

Willow frowned disapprovingly, but knew better than to argue. "Just think about it?"

Buffy nodded, before pretending to focus on the band performing on the stage. Honestly, she didn't understand herself. She felt the need to be home, around all her mother's possessions, where she could easily have memories of her life before that day not four months earlier. It probably wasn't healthy, but she didn't want to leave it.

And also, a tiny part of her that she was trying to ignore really didn't want to leave Graham. Not only did she enjoy his company and would actually miss him. she didn't like the idea of him all alone in Sunnydale without her or Dawn to spend time with. But there was no way she could tell Willow that. She'd either freak that Buffy felt this way about Riley's friend, or she'd try and convince her to date Graham and Buffy wasn't prepared to do either.

"He hasn't come over at all?" Lisa asked as she and Dawn sat together in the auditorium while Buffy filled out the required paperwork so that her sister could participate in a summer drama program. It had taken a bit of persuading, since Buffy had been gung-ho about Dawn spending some time with her dad in LA, but since Hank was characteristically unreachable, the blonde had given up.

"I know. I don't think they're mad at each other or anything, but it's not like I can come right out and ask."

"Maybe you can call him up and get him to come over. I'd really like it if we could get them *alone* for a night, but if the only way we can have contact is for you to be there, we'll have to do it."

"Lisa, I don't think it's a good idea," Dawn sighed, "They're going to figure it out."

"Yeah, but you know, it's not like she has to have a boyfriend to do that. If she's taught me anything, women are fine on their own."

"Okay, yes, she doesn't *have* to have him, but we both agree that Graham is hot and nice and so cool and would be so good with your sister. Why not help them get together?"

Before they could continue their discussion, Buffy walked up to them and smiled, "Okay Dawn, you're all registered. Lisa, you're sure you turned everything in?"

"Yup. Thanks again for bringing me, my mom had all these meetings today and *had* to go to work."

As the two girls eagerly jumped up to their feet and raced out of the auditorium, Buffy sighed. She may be the slayer and only twenty, but she had little doubt that two fifteen-year-olds would wear her out.

After Buffy put the last plate in the dishwasher, she looked around the kitchen for something to do. She repeated the action in the living room, dining room and then the rest of the house – except for Dawn's room. She tried to avoid going in there because it was usually frightening and it also tended to piss her sister off.

Alas, the house was clean. Buffy frowned as she realized she had nothing better to do on a Friday night than clean house. Sure, she could have done something with her friends, but she would have either been the third or fifth wheel and that was no fun. She recalled how Lisa had told her that she really needed a boyfriend that afternoon when they had been waiting in line to buy a soda in the food court. She had brushed off the comment at the time, but the girl was actually right. Okay, maybe she didn't *need* a boyfriend, but she kind of wanted one.

Buffy shook her head and marched back down the stairs. That was impossible and to even consider it was a bad idea. Graham was Riley's best friend. It was bad enough that they had slept together, but if they were to date it would be so wrong and disrespectful to Riley. She flopped down on the couch and picked up a magazine, hoping it would get her mind off things.

Of course, she couldn't focus on any of the words on the pages and instead continued to think of Graham. It really didn't matter that it was wrong to date him - Graham didn't *want* her; at least not to date, anyway. It had just been sex to him. It had felt good and he'd had fun, but he wasn't going to show up on her doorstep with a bouquet of flowers any time in the near future.

The telephone ringing interrupted Buffy's self-admonition. Reaching over, she picked it up and said, "Hello?"

"Yeah, I figured. I was going to call and check on you, but I figure I was getting too nutty with these new motherly instincts I have thanks to Dawn. I didn't want to scare you," she half-joked.

Graham smiled, "Nah, that would have been cool." He would have loved a call from Buffy.

"Okay, well then I'll make a point to call you soon and make sure you brushed your teeth and have clean clothes and are eating enough."

"We're fine," she told him, "Dawn hasn't been too annoying, but it's still early in the summer. I signed her up for this drama class thing and that will keep her busy for a few hours three days a week."

"I'm not sure. Willow's been telling her how much she loved her drama class, so I think that's why she developed this interest. Dawn worships Willow."

"I don't think so. She looks up to me and sees what she absolutely doesn't want to do."

"Well, um, the reason I was calling, other than to talk, was that I rented some videos and I wondered if maybe you guys would like it if we watched them together? I could come over there."

"Oh, well Dawn's spending the night at Lisa's," she replied, the frowned. Why was she acting like Dawn was their chaperone? Graham was going to think she was afraid to be alone with him… not that that was entirely untrue. "But, I mean, if you don't mind it being just the two of us, we could still watch them."

Graham felt his heart beat a little bit faster at the thought of being alone with Buffy. Hastily, he reminded himself that just because Dawn wasn't there, they were still to be just friends. Nothing could happen between them again. Buffy was in love with Riley, his best friend. Every time he slept with Buffy, he betrayed Riley, who had proven time and again that he would die for him. It *had* to be a purely innocent evening in front of the TV – fully clothed.

Hi," he replied and, before he thought better of it, added, "You look really nice."

As he followed her into the kitchen, Graham felt like an ass. Sure, she looked *really* great in the denim skirt and dark blue *tight* sweater, but it was definitely inappropriate to be admiring her so much. What would Riley say if he was there? Of course Riley *wasn't* there, the naughty little voice in Graham's head reminded him.

"So what did you get?" Buffy asked as she pulled a bag of popcorn out of the microwave and pouring its contents into a big bowl.

Shaking her head at herself, Buffy opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a can of Mountain Dew. "I guess you'll want one of these for the movie, right?"

"Suuuuuure," he joked, picking up the bowl of popcorn and following as she carried their sodas into the living room.

Within a few moments, they were seated a comfortable distance apart on the couch as the video played on the television screen in front of them. For nearly two hours, they forgot all about their sexual tension while they enjoyed the film. There were no thoughts of loyalty, lust or wistful glances as the two comfortably sat together and had a good time.

Once the end credits began to roll, however, the reality of the situation hit them. Reality being that the lights were dim and Buffy's sweater stretched deliciously over her breasts.

Knowing he was doing a very wrong thing, but not really caring, Graham went with what he was yearning to do. He leaned over and kissed Buffy, tenderly at first, until she responded and the contact grew more passionate.

As warmth spread through her, shooting towards her groin, Buffy's fingers played with the short hairs at the base of Graham's neck, while he ran his fingers through her silky long hair. Neither knew how long they spent making out, but they managed to successfully ignore the fact that they were doing what they had vowed to never do again.

When they finally broke apart and looked at each other, they were both slightly out of breath. His eyes dark with desire, Graham gazed over at Buffy and couldn't help but get a little bit harder than he already was as he saw her swollen lips. She was, quite simply, the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

Buffy felt much the same way about Graham. In her mind, he wasn't just a cute guy as he had been when she'd first started dating Riley. Graham was sensitive and gentle and kind - and still gorgeous, of course. She could almost see him without his clothes on, since she doubted she'd ever get the memories of having sex with him out of her head. He had a fabulous body; it was obvious he worked out.

One look in her eyes and Graham knew he didn't have to ask if she was sure. He nodded quickly and stood, pulling her up with him and tugging her against his chest. They kissed again, their hands roaming over each other's upper bodies until the need to be in bed grew too great and they pulled away and headed up the stairs with Buffy leading Graham by the hand.

Buffy just turned one lamp on in the room so it was bathed in soft golden light. Standing a few feet away from Graham she stared at him as she quickly unbuttoned the front of her sweater and dropped it on the floor. Seeing her standing there in the skirt and bra, Graham swallowed and tugged his shirt over his head. As he hastily removed his shoes and socks and yanked his jeans off, Buffy pulled the skirt down her legs and kicked off her sandals.

Clad only in their underwear, the two moved to the bed and were soon entwined on top of the comforter as they once again began kissing and sharing erotic touches. Graham adeptly reached behind Buffy's back and unhooked her bra. Slowly, he moved the straps down her arms and threw the article away as her breasts were bared to his heated gaze.

Buffy gasped as his mouth found one of her nipples, alternately suckling and nibbling on it. She entwined her fingers in his hair and held him to her, willing him to never stop. Amidst her protests, he did, but only long enough to move to the other nipple, not wanting to neglect it. Graham snaked his hand down her belly and under the waistband of her panties to her center. She cried out as he inserted one finger inside her, finding her already wet with desire.

A few moments later, Graham was sitting up, having abandoned her breasts. Buffy didn't mind - or simply didn't notice. Her body was writhing on the bed with her panties around her knees while Graham worked three fingers in and out of her grasping channel as he massaged her clit with the pad of his thumb.

"Oh God," she gasped as orgasm wracked through her and she shook with the waves of pleasure.

He continued his movements, albeit more slowly, throughout her climax until Buffy lay limply on the bed beneath him. Gently extracting his hand, Graham licked his fingers clean and smiled wickedly at her. Buffy returned the smile as she was once again hit with a bolt of lust.

He climbed off the bed to slide his boxers down his legs while Buffy pulled her panties the rest of the way off. Once they were both nude, Graham returned to her, positioned above her with the weight of his upper body on his arms. Buffy's legs were spread and he lay between them, the head of his erection butting against her slit and creating a most pleasurable torture for the both of them until she reached down and guided his length home.

Graham slowly slid inside Buffy as he looked her in the eye. She stared right back at him and reached her hand up to touch his face, the tips of her fingers tracing his lips until he dipped his head down and kissed her sensually.

Unlike all their previous couplings, this time was slow. Gone was the frenzy and desperate need for gratification. It was just two people who wanted and needed each other taking comfort and pleasure in their joining. Graham kept his slow pace as he slid in and out of her, while Buffy lifted her hips to meet him.

Before long Buffy found herself in the throes of a second orgasm as Graham continued thrusting languidly and kissing the side of her neck while she arched her back and moaned. Her hands clutched his forearms tightly as she squeezed her eyes shut. It felt so good… and so right. All thoughts of betrayal were far from her mind at that moment.

Once Buffy was responding to his actions again, Graham rolled the both of them without pulling out of her, so that she found herself sprawled across his chest as their lower bodies churned together. She pushed herself up with her hands on his shoulders and their eyes met once again.

Using her vaginal muscles, Buffy squeezed Graham's length and smiled as he groaned. She starting moving faster, rolling her hips in a circular motion. His hands found their way to her hips as he aided her by helping to move up and down faster as their need for release grew stronger.

As Graham started to come, he drove his hips up wildly as he spilled his seed deep inside of Buffy. That was all it took for Buffy to have her third climax of the night. Her head flung back as she ardently slammed against him. They continued moving against each other as their orgasms passed, more and more slowly until they stopped and Buffy laid against his chest again.

When Graham awoke the next morning, it took him a moment to remember he was in Buffy's bedroom. However, Buffy was nowhere to be found. As his mind came out of its sleep-addled state, he realized there was one very big problem.

He knew she had slept over at her friend's, but was she the reason why Buffy had left him alone in the room? Had she come home while they were both still sleeping and Buffy just hadn't gotten a chance to get him out of the house without alerting Dawn to his presence?

Graham's eyes widened as he realized his Mustang was parked out front. Dawn knew it was his car! She was going to know and now everything was even more screwed up. He liked the girl, he honestly did, but there was no way Dawn would keep this a secret.

He had just found his boxers and pulled them on when the door opened and Buffy walked in, wearing a short robe and a modest smile.

Seeing that she didn't look stressed in the least, Graham quietly asked, "Is Dawn here?"

"Oh, no. Lisa's parents took her with them to the fair, so she'll be gone until tonight."

"Good," he sighed with relief, "So we have all day. Uh, I mean, she'll be gone and we don't have to worry about her all day. Not that I expect us to spend all day doing anything."

Buffy couldn't help but smile at his rambling. "Don't worry, Graham, I know what you mean."

"I'm fine," she assured him. "I just thought I heard you moving around up here and was coming to ask if you'd like some breakfast. I was going to make pancakes."

"Good," Buffy smiled, "I already made coffee; you could have some while you wait if you want."

Graham nodded and pulled on his shirt as followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. Buffy poured some coffee in a mug and handed it to him before getting a bowl and gathering various ingredients.

"That's today's paper on the table. You can read while I get it ready if you want," she suggested.

"I can help," Graham offered, but sat down as Buffy shook her head. As he found the sports page, he tried not to dwell on how strangely normal the scene was. It was almost like they were a real couple, when the truth was a lot more sordid.

However, once Graham took his first bite of pancake, he forgot all about the two of them doing something so wrong. It was nothing short of delicious and the look on his face made it clear to Buffy that he was impressed.

The rest of the meal took place in a comfortable silence, as they focused on their breakfast instead of each other. Once they were done, they each soaked their dishes in the sink before deciding to get dressed, since it was almost noon.

Back up in Buffy's room, Graham began picking up his various articles of clothes as a once again awkward silence fell over them. Buffy busied herself by pulling a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of her dresser.

Clutching all his clothes in a pile against his chest, Graham turned to Buffy. "I'll go get dressed in the bathroom."

"Okay," she smiled, while inwardly she felt rather sad. He'd be leaving soon. As much as she would like to believe that she just wanted him around because Dawn wasn't home and she didn't feel like being alone and it had nothing to do with Graham personally… that was an outright lie.

She was about to get dressed as well when the phone rang. Picking up the extension in her room, she greeted, "Hello?"

"Hi Dawn, are you having fun?" She replied, trying to calm herself. There was no way Dawn could know that Graham was there and that he had spent the night.

"Yeah," her sister answered, then lied, "Mrs. Pearson wanted me to call and check in with you, let you know I am okay."

Dawn acquiesced, "Do you have any plans for tonight? If you do, I could always spend tonight at Lisa's, her parents said it's fine."

"No, that's okay. Giles is coming over for when I patrol so you don't need to sleep there."

"All right, be good and make sure you thank Lisa's parents," Buffy reminded her before adding, "I love you."

Dawn turned the cell phone off and handed it to Lisa, who gave her a dirty look.

He honestly tried not to look at her naked legs and instead focused on her face, but it wasn't like the view there was too bad anyway. Add to that the fact that she was sitting on the bed and they were in a very dangerous situation.

This was ridiculous and Graham knew it. Sure, he'd had some great sexual relationships in his life. He'd had girlfriends who loved nothing more than to spend the day in bed, only taking breaks from making love to sleep and eat. Still, he had never found anyone so irresistible, someone who made him ache to touch her.

Since the looks Buffy was giving him made him think she wasn't averse to the idea, Graham sat on the bed beside her and leaned his head down until their lips met with renewed passion. The kiss quickly deepened as their hands moved over each other once again.

Buffy was soon on her back with the robe pulled open, frantically pulling at Graham's shirt. Once again they found themselves not caring if it was wrong - it felt so right.

"You know, this has to be the most nutritious dinner I've had in a while," Graham commented before putting a spoonful of Trix in his mouth.

"Don't worry, I'm sure I'm doing much worse. If you opened my refrigerator, you'd probably just find a six-pack of beer and a bottle of ketchup or something," he replied. "Starting the nightly patrols again has thrown my sleep schedule completely out of whack and going to the store is not one of my priorities."

"Very very slow… you weren't kidding when you said it's pretty dead. Pardon the pun."

Buffy smiled, "I know… but it's nice… for me. It's what you get paid for, but I could use a vacation. Are you guys going out every night?"

"Yeah, for now I do it five nights a week. I have a few men that were in the Initiative working with me, so there is a veteran out there every night. Once everyone gets enough experience, we may have fewer patrol shifts. Or at least, fewer at night."

"Well, that's good. I appreciate the help… you know, as long as you guys aren't evil now."

It was Graham's turn to smile, "I swear we aren't. You know, I'm kind of surprised we haven't run into you."

"I've been taking it easy. Quick sweeps three of four times a week. I have to take advantage of the lull… and you guys have my back now," she teased, then wrinkled her nose. "Should I be careful to avoid you guys, actually?"

He shook his head, "They know all about you. Sorry for revealing your identity, but I figured it was best if they knew not to think you're evil or anything. Plus, if the Initiative taught me one thing, it's that you shouldn't send soldiers out there and just give them scraps of information. They know about slayers, that we're on the same side… and someday we may even work together."

With more light banter they finished their 'dinner' of cereal, mozzarella cheese sticks and tortilla chips, since they had worked up quite an appetite during the day. Not once had either of them brought up Riley or their vows to never repeat their actions when they'd been drunk and their encounter two days later. It seemed they had an unspoken understanding that they both wanted to continue with the... affair.

What neither understood, however, was that they also both liked each other much more than as someone to take care of sexual needs with. However, Graham figured even if he told Buffy he'd like to date her and she said yes, he would always be a stand in for Riley, and that was something he couldn't bear. He felt far too strongly for her to not let it bother him that she was only with him because her first choice couldn't be. And Buffy figured if she told Graham she wanted more than just sex, he'd either laugh or bail… probably the latter. Not that he was a jerk like Parker… that could freak out any guy.

"I'll call you later. Be careful tonight," Graham told Buffy as she walked him to the door.

After only hesitating a second, Graham went with his desires and wrapped his arms around her, dipping his head down to give her a goodbye kiss she wasn't likely to forget. Buffy reciprocated, putting her hands on his shoulders as their tongues dueled for domination.

When breathing became an issue, they pulled apart and shared smiles. Graham opened the front door and with one last look at Buffy, walked out. She stood and watched from the doorway until his car backed out of the driveway and he was on his way home.

Shutting the door, Buffy sighed and headed up the stairs. She had two hours to shower and clean up before Dawn came home.

Buffy's heart skipped a beat as she quickly tried to think of a lie to tell Dawn.

"Oh… you just seemed like you knew just where you were going," her sister commented.

Buffy didn't respond, but made a show of looking at all the numbers on the doors until they got to Graham's. She knocked loudly, hoping they could get out of the building and on the road without Dawn making any more observations.

In honor of the 4th of July, Xander and Willow had planned a day at the beach. Dawn and Buffy had thought it was a great idea so they, along with Anya and Tara were going. However, there was no convincing Giles, who used the Magic Shop as an excuse not to attend. Xander had been the one to suggest inviting Graham, since Willow had mentioned that he'd been spending time with Buffy and Xander felt the need to check him out.

He nodded and grabbed a duffel bag before shutting the door, much to Dawn's dismay. She'd done her best to peek inside before, since Lisa had told her it was imperative she tell her what it was like, but there hadn't been time. Maybe she'd get another chance.

"You know, I haven't been to the beach in ages," Graham said as they walked back to the elevator.

Buffy raised her eyebrow, surprised that her sister knew that. She'd found out that little tidbit of information one night about a week earlier when they were lying in bed after making love and had started talking about their favorite places in the world. It had been a week and a half since they'd stopped fighting the attraction between them and they'd gotten to know a lot about each other, and not just in a physical and sexual way.

"Yeah, actually, in Santa Cruz there is a boardwalk with rides and shops and it's right on the beach. It's so much fun… you'd love it Dawn."

Dawn smiled, "We'll have to go there sometime, Buffy. Maybe Graham will give us the tour."

"Absolutely," Graham agreed, wishing it was that simple. It would be so nice if he really were Buffy's boyfriend, if he could hold her hand and kiss her in public… he would love to spend days with Dawn and Buffy, doing normal stuff. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

"So, be honest with me," Xander said, sitting down in the folding beach chair next to Graham's, "what are the odds of Riley coming back to Sunnydale?"

Graham shrugged, "I'm not really sure. He loves Buffy, very much, I'm positive of that. But… Sunnydale also holds a lot of bad memories for him. I think he's a little afraid of what he might do if he comes back here. He can't handle losing himself again."

"I know… and I know he thinks Buffy doesn't love him, but she does. I used to not be sure, but I am positive now. I saw what it did to her when he left. For weeks afterward, she was an emotional mess. And I know that she seems fine now, but every so often I see her with a look on her face and I know she is missing him. She sees the way Anya and I are… even Willow and Tara and I know Buffy is thinking about being with someone she loves."

More than anything, Graham wished that man she was thinking of was him. His feelings regarding Riley had gone from guilt to envy. "Well… maybe he'll come back and they'll both get a second chance to do things right."

"Here's hoping," Xander smiled, then explained, "Riley's a good guy. In the past I have had… problems… with Buffy's choice in men, but I came to respect him. He's good for her."

"You had a problem with Angel," Graham concluded aloud, recalling the object of many late night rants by Riley. True, the thought of Buffy being with a vampire like that was rather… creepy… but he didn't feel any of the jealousy his friend did. Angel was out of Buffy's life, even if he did hold a piece of her heart.

"Yeah, you could say that. I… well, truthfully a part of me was jealous. When I first met Buffy, I fell in love with her."

Graham's eyebrows went up at that. Was there a male in Buffy's life that wasn't in love with her?

"Unfortunately for me, Buffy saw me as nothing more than a friend. And as soon as she met Angel, it was all over. Even when they tried to be apart, he was the only guy for her. And there were a lot of good reasons why they shouldn't be together. Like, if she made him too happy, we could all be killed. But most of all… I *was* jealous."

"Yeah, well it's easier to do it when you have moved out of that stage of your life," Xander grinned. "I still love Buffy, I always will, but it's more like a sister now. And that's part of why I really want Riley to come back. He treats her right… and from my brotherly point-of-view, she deserves that."

It was a good thing Graham was so quiet to begin with, or else Xander may have realized that he was brooding as opposed to silently observing the girls laughing and splashing each other in the shallow water of the ocean. He would treat Buffy right. He'd treat her like a freaking goddess and worship her every day for the rest of his life! Unfortunately, he didn't come from a happy family in Iowa and wasn't the epitome of all-American. His mother had been great, but she was gone. His father was a loser. He did have his aunt, a wonderful, loving woman that he was sure Buffy would really like... but how did that compare to Mr. and Mrs. Finn, who owned a big farm with grass and trees all around, who always had delicious home made food in the kitchen and five loving children? Riley had everything to offer Buffy and he had nothing... except his love.

"Yeah… he's a vampire. You guys put one of those chips in his head, so he is basically harmless. And he *has* been really helpful lately... but it's only because he's in love with Buffy."

Xander nodded, "Yup… and if Riley were back, maybe Spike would get the message that he'd never have Buffy and leave town."

Graham shook his head. There really *wasn't* a man around Buffy that wasn't in love with her.

"Hey, I brought a volleyball, want to see if everyone else wants to play a game?" Buffy asked Willow as the two of them walked back to where they had their towels laid out, after they'd had enough of playing in the waves.

"Yeah, for you! The rest of us uncoordinated people associate it with torturous gym classes. Besides, we're supposed to relax and have fun today, not get such a workout that we won't be able to move tomorrow."

"Jeez, sorry I asked," Buffy muttered, flopping down on her towel and grabbing a coke.

She looked up and Graham and found him engaged in conversation with Xander... sort of. Xander was talking and Graham appeared to be listening. But with Graham that was sometimes as close as you got to a conversation.

"Buffy, you just need to learn to relax. You used to be great at it," Willow commented.

The blonde sighed, "Yeah, well I used to not be my sister's guardian and have to worry about bills and grades and the car along with saving the world from vampires. Face it, Will… I've turned into an adult."

Willow rolled her eyes, "There are adults who can relax. Just tell yourself everything is and will remain fine and you need to enjoy yourself."

Buffy grinned and jumped to her feet. As the two of them jogged off to go toss the frisbee at each other, Willow stood as well, moving to sit in the chair Xander had vacated. She'd been wanting to talk to Graham for quite some time, since she'd been wondering about some things since she met him when he'd fixed Buffy's car. And now was her chance.

"Good… it would be really nice if you started joining us in our little group excursions. Do you spend a lot of time with Buffy?"

"Yeah… lately we've been hanging out a lot," he answered, forcing himself not to smile as he reflected on what they really did when they hung out.

"I think she is doing fine. Buffy has a lot on her shoulders and it takes some time to adjust to all the responsibility, but she's handling it like a pro."

"Yeah, she's probably the strongest person I have ever met… not just physically."

"She definitely is. Buffy's gone through much much more in the past few years than most people go through in a lifetime."

"I know… I mean, she's told me a lot of what has happened," Graham told her. Seeing Willow's questioning look, he explained, "We talk a lot."

She was surprised, since Buffy really didn't like to talk about a lot of things that had happened… mainly Angel. After all, she'd been in a relationship with Riley for months before she'd said anything about her former lover… and that had only been when she'd had no choice. Obviously she and Graham were quite close...

"You know, a lot of guys have a problem with Buffy being so strong, in both ways. They want a girl who needs them to protect her and to need him to hold her when she cries. Why is that?"

Graham was quiet as he thought about that. He had firsthand experience with this since he'd had to listen to Riley go on and on about his issues with Buffy and this was something that Riley had a slight problem with as well.

"Well, I think that a lot of guys like knowing they can be strong and protect the woman they love, and I sort of understand that, because it's an instinctual thing. And I think the same goes for being the strong one in the relationship when it comes to emotions," he explained. "But the fact is that if you are in a relationship with someone, they'll need you. In big and small ways, they will have needs that you can fulfill. The problem with a lot of guys is that they aren't secure enough just to be there as support whenever a need presents itself."

"So did you have fun today?" Buffy asked as she pulled the jeep into the parking lot of Graham's apartment building.

After the long day at the beach, everyone had moved on to Xander's apartment, to continue the party until dark when they could all go out on the balcony and see the fireworks. Graham, however, had to patrol that night, so Buffy had volunteered to drive him home after they'd all eaten dinner.

"Nobody came on too strong, did they?" she asked, actually referring to Xander. She knew he meant well, but he tended to forget that Buffy was perfectly capable of taking care of herself.

"Nope, they were all fine," Graham said, then smiled at her as she pulled the jeep into a spot, "By the way, I like your swimsuit."

In truth, he was hoping she'd come up to his apartment with him. After that talk with Xander… he really needed to be with her, skin on skin, as close as two people could be. It was far from healthy and he knew it, but he needed to forget for just a little while that Buffy could never be his. So he pretended he was just turned on by seeing her in the black bikini, not overly skimpy... but it was pretty sexy and didn't make it hard to believe that it had turned him on quite sufficiently.

"You know… because of the parade, there was all that traffic. And maybe on your way back, you'll have a hard time finding a way to get through because roads are closed."

She turned off the engine, but before either of them got out of the car, they leaned over and met each other halfway, sharing a kiss filled with passion and promises of what was to come in mere minutes. Hastily unbuckling their seatbelts, they both climbed from the jeep and hurried into the building.

Once in the blessedly empty elevator, Graham had Buffy leaning against the wall and resumed their fervent kisses, stroking his hands up and down her sides. Before it could go any further, though, Buffy pulled away.

They didn't see one, but figured it could be a hidden one and since Graham really didn't want to get funny looks from the security guards, he impatiently waited until the elevator reached his floor.

At long last, the doors slid open and they rushed down the hallway. No sooner were they in the apartment with the door closed that Buffy was pushed against the wall with Graham planting hot kisses along the side of her neck.

One of the last thoughts Buffy had before she was overcome by mind-numbing pleasure was that she really needed to find a way to get into bikinis around Graham more often.

If anyone noticed that it had taken Buffy over an hour to take Graham home, they didn't comment. She came back to Xander's apartment to find them all gathered around the television watching some movie on HBO.

As everyone watched the movie and munched on popcorn, Buffy reflected on what had occurred at Graham's. As usual, it was great. She may not have been the most experienced girl, but she knew Graham was a great lover. not that she'd had any exceptionally bad ones. Parker had been the worst and even he could have been better if only he'd been half as considerate as Angel, Riley and Graham.

So maybe she *was* wrong, but she couldn't imagine it being much better than it was with Graham. Even if he didn't love her, he made sure she always had an orgasm, and he seemed to know even better than she how to give her one. And it was different with Graham than it was with all the other guys. Her only time with Angel had been filled with relief that they were both still alive and together, and all the anxiety that came with making love for the first time. With Riley, she had always held back a little bit, scared to get hurt again like she had been with Angel. And Parker. well, that was a train wreck. She'd slept with him for all the wrong reasons and had learned to regret it immensely. And even if Graham gave her no promises of a real, emotional relationship, she trusted him.

But still, it was starting to get to her. In the past week and a half, she'd had a lot of fun. Not just with the sex. she saw Graham nearly every day and Dawn was often around, stopping them from even kissing. He was fun to talk to, or just watch television with. His presence calmed her, made her feel warm and happy in a way she hadn't experienced in longer than she could remember. She'd come to the realization that she didn't just like him - she loved him. It was nothing near what she still felt for Angel, but it grew a little more with every passing day. And as those feelings grew, so did the darkness she felt when she was alone after being with Graham. While it felt incredible to be with him, to feel him inside her and his lips caressing hers. when it was all over, she felt so cold and alone that she had to wonder if it was worth it.

Now she knew how Riley had felt, to make love to someone, to open yourself up so much and love them, but to know that those feelings would never be returned. And unlike Riley, it was her own fault because she had gone into this knowing Graham just liked having sex with her.

It made her feel horrible. She was a fool, a whore, and so undeserving of Riley's love. Not only had she held back the love she honestly felt for him when he'd needed it so much, not only had she slept with his best friend over and over and *enjoyed* it. now she was falling in love with him.

Someone knocking loudly at the door interrupted her reverie. Since everyone else was entranced by the television, Buffy rose and answered it, surprised to find Spike on the other side of the threshold.

"Sorry," Buffy replied, smiling at him. After all he had done to help her with Glory, the two of them had managed to forge and maintain a friendship.

She shook her head, "Not much except pizza and whatever movie they are watching. I haven't really been paying attention."

Buffy chuckled; it never ceased to amaze her how human Spike could be. She'd never seen a vampire who liked people food so much. She followed him into the kitchen, deciding Spike's company was better than sitting back down and thinking about Graham again until she got all depressed.

"So when do the fireworks start?" Spike asked as he put a couple slices of pepperoni pizza on a place and put them in the microwave.

Spike turned and smirked at her. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Buffy. For instance, I happen to have a birthmark on my-"

He laughed and pulled the now heated pizza out of the microwave. "Fine, fine. you'll change your mind."

His banter may have been playful, but a part of Spike was very serious. He loved Buffy just as much, if not more, than when she'd still considered him an enemy, or at least not a friend. Still, he'd decided that if he were to win her over, it wouldn't be by following her around and harassing her about it. He'd be her friend, earn her trust. and hopefully, someday, her love as well.

"Sister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe: My books and instruments shall be my company. On them to took and practice by myself."

Buffy smiled from her position leaning against the door frame leading to the living room where Graham was helping Dawn practice lines from 'Taming of the Shrew', which was the play her drama group was going to put on at the end of the summer.

Dawn gasped and jumped up from her seat, "Oh my God, I have to get to bed! I need a full eight hours of sleep for the audition tomorrow."

"Thank you for helping me!" she said, surprising him by bending down to give him a hug.

"Thanks," Dawn grinned, than rushed to the door of the room, only stopping to kiss Buffy on the cheek before running up the stairs, "Night!"

"Good night," Buffy called after her, amused. It was good to see Dawn so excited about something.

Graham leaned back on the couch as she came into the room and sat down beside him.

He shook his head and grinned, "Not at all. I was big on cliffs notes when I had to endure lit classes."

His eyes took on a dark glint as he smiled seductively, "Does that mean you want me out of your house?"

Buffy recognized his hunger and felt an answering cry deep inside herself. "I don't know, I think you might be able to redeem yourself."

"Oh really?" he replied as Buffy moved to straddle him and dipped her head down. Their lips met, expressing their mutual need for one another.

Things progressed quickly, and they both found themselves incredibly turned on. Breaking apart to catch their breath, Buffy leaned her forehead against Graham's and looked him in the eye.

"Yeah," Buffy sighed, "But if we go upstairs together, we stand a better chance of her seeing us."

"She probably won't come back downstairs. if we're quiet," Graham said optimistically.

Even though she knew it wasn't the best idea, Buffy went with her hormones and nodded before turning off the lamp on the end table, leaving the room bathed with only dim light from another lamp. As their lips met once again, Graham's fingers found their way to her head, running through her golden hair as their mouths melded together.