"Soul Purpose"
Spike is in a strip club, watching a pole dance on-stage as he enjoys a drink.
Lindsey approaches and sets a glass in front of him.
Spike isn't interested, "Thanks, but not really my type, Mary." He suggests Lindsey leave as he shoves the drink back across the table.
Lindsey remains standing across from Spike.
Spike wants to know what he's looking at.
Lindsey notes a guy like Spike, wasting his time in a strip joint, looks like he's lost.
Spike reckons he knows exactly where he is as he recites the name of the club and the name of the stripper on-stage, "Sunshine" (though he's pretty sure that's not her real name).
Lindsey suggests they talk.
Spike isn't interested as he gets to his feet and in Lindsey's face. He's not interested in whatever it is Lindsey is selling and suggests he sell it elsewhere. He walks away.
Lindsey calls out, "Hey, Spike! Get any interesting mail lately?"
That gets Spike's attention as he stops and turns back toward Lindsey, "Who the bloody hell are you?"
Lindsey takes a seat at the table, "Your new best friend."
A surprised Spike realizes Lindsey is saying he's the one who brought him back, sent the package with the "de-ghosting mojo" and the amulet.
Lindsey confirms that, "Couldn't leave your spirit trapped in a bauble at the bottom of a hellmouth, could we?"
Spike wants to know what "we" he's referring to.
Lindsey reckons Spike must know there are many who are interested in him, "Powerfully interested, one might say."
As he raises his glass, Spike slaps it out of his hand, "Enough with the cryptic, Butch." He notices the runic tattoos on Lindsey's forearm as he grips it, "I want to know who, or what, you are, what you want, and how fast I can snap your forearm before you answer."
Lindsey says Spike can call him "Doyle" but it's not about what he wants, it's about what Spike wants. He jerks his arm free. He notes Spike has his life back now, he wonders what he plans to do with it.
Wes and Gunn are walking through the lobby outside Angel's office, discussing business. Wes thinks they should "remove him before he and his followers go underground."
Gunn asks if he's talking about assassination.
Wes notes they're dealing with an "evil warlock", the longer they wait, the more powerful he gets.
Gunn says he wasn't planning on waiting.
Wes asks what he was planning then as they approach Harm's desk.
Gunn answers, "We open a can of Machiavelli on his ass."
Harm snipes, "It's Matchebelli, Einstein, and it doesn't come in a can."
Gunn asks if "he" is in.
Harmony asks who.
Wes and Gunn head for Angel's office.
As they enter, they continue their discussion. Wes says what Gunn is suggesting could take weeks, they don't have that much time.
Gunn counters, it won't take more than 48 hours at most and points out there are people in the warlock's inner circle who wouldn't hesitate to exploit an opportunity to overthrow him.
Wes thinks Gunn is ignoring the tactical advantages of his assassination plan.
Angel looks on from his position in his chair behind the desk, confused. He makes an effort to get their attention, "Guys?"
Gunn tells Wes with his plan, the warlock will still be dead by Thursday.
Angel gets a little louder to get their attention, "Guys!" They both stop talking and look at him, "CEO, right here, in the dark."
Wes offers apologies as he hands Angel a file folder and explains what they're talking about, "Lucien Drake, he's a warlock."
Gunn adds he's evil with a list of followers that numbers at least a thousand. He's pretty sure they sold their children "down the Hades River in return for some serious demonic mojo."
Wes notes it's another fanatical religious fringe group stockpiling weapons, but in this case, the weapons are extremely dangerous black magicks.
Angel looks through the file, "And you want Wolfram & Hart to stop them."
Gunn says they don't want to stop them, exactly.
Wes clarifies, they're more interested in "redirecting their energies."
Gunn points out the cult has alliances, connections. If they confront them directly, it could be bad for business.
Wes notes, "If we eliminate their leader covertly --"
Gunn interrupts, "They'll spend the next billing cycle fighting amongst themselves, hacking out the new pecking order."
Angel considers that a moment then asks, "So, are we doing this because it's right or because it's cost effective?"
They concede it's a bit of both. Wes says they again find themselves in a kind of gray --
An irritated Angel cuts him off, he doesn't want to hear that. He sharply asks if they can't get through "one damned day without saying that?"
Gunn and Wes exchange a look but say nothing.
Angel sighs and rubs the side of his face. He composes himself and asks them to explain it again.
At the strip club, Spike stands, telling Lindsey he's heard enough. He starts to walk away.
Lindsey gets up and follows, asking if Spike doesn't at least want to know why he's back in L.A., given he hates it there.
Spike notes Lindsey talks a lot for someone who isn't saying anything.
Lindsey puts his hand on Spike's shoulder, telling him he has a destiny.
An angry Spike turns and grabs him by the throat, slamming him against the wall, "Like the destiny that was supposed to be at the bottom of a Perpetual Cup of Nothing?" ("Destiny") Spike pulls him away from the wall and slams him back into it. He reckons if Lindsey knows so much about him, he should also know that he gets violent when he's being played. Spike accuses Lindsey of being the one who sent him and Angel in pursuit of that cup.
An agitated Lindsey claims ignorance of that as he pulls Spike's hand off of his throat. He says he only does what "they" tell him to do.
Spike asks about "they."
Lindsey says it was "they, them" who brought Spike back. He's just a guy, a drifter, who was minding his own business then one day he got slammed with visions.
Spike asks about the visions.
Lindsey claims he gets "brain pictures" accompanied by pain, he sees people in trouble who "need a champion."
Spike scoffs, "Hey, you are barking up the wrong vampire. That's Angel's beat."
Lindsey says Angel isn't part of it anymore, he's working for the other side. There's nobody out there helping the people who need help.
Spike asks, "Am I supposed to jump every time you get a vision of someone in dire peril?"
Lindsey asks why Spike thinks they're having this chat, he had a vision just before he came to the strip club. He says Spike doesn't have to believe him, but wonders, if a young woman is murdered that night and Spike did nothing to stop it, can he live with himself?
A young woman is being attacked by a vampire in an alley. As the vamp slams her against the side of a building and prepares to feed on her, Spike interrupts, "Evenin'".
The vamp turns and tells him to get lost, then turns back to his intended prey.
As Spike approaches, he casually notes some think he already is.
The woman pleads for help.
The vamp turns, noticing Spike hasn't left. He figures Spike didn't hear him. He shoves the woman to the ground and approaches Spike, telling him to go. When Spike makes no move to leave, the vamp warns him he's just made a big mistake.
Spike grabs him and shoves him through a wooden railing, breaking it. He pulls the vamp up and shoves him backward, impaling him on a piece of the broken railing. The vamp is dusted.
The terrified woman gets to her feet and offers her thanks, "That thing was going to kill me!"
Spike isn't sympathetic, "Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood? I got half a mind to kill you myself, you half-wit."
The woman is offended, "What?!?"
Spike continues, "I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps, break your bloody ankle."
The woman offers defensively, she was just trying to get home.
As she walks away, Spike shouts after her, "Well, get a cab, you moron, and on the way? If a stranger offers you candy? Don't get in the van!" As she disappears out of the alley, he turns and mutters, "Stupid cow."
Lindsey, who is standing on a stairway landing, asks if Spike believes him now.
Spike notes people in trouble are common in L.A., what happened doesn't prove his claim of visions.
Lindsey congratulates him on a job well done.
Spike isn't impressed.
Lindsey points out he just saved a woman's life, that's not something to take lightly. He suggests Spike might try to be a bit nicer next time, he almost made the woman cry.
Spike asks about the "next time."
Lindsey says it's up to Spike, there are a lot of people who need saving.
Spike informs him he doesn't need Lindsey's assistance, "Been saving people since long before you showed up."
Lindsey notes Spike just helped someone when there wasn't anything in it for him, "That's not the Spike I know."
Spike asks suspiciously which Spike that might be.
Lindsey answers, "The Spike that's only out for himself. The one that does good deeds to impress ..... women."
Spike warns him to watch it.
Lindsey notes he was just saying Spike did something good, from what he's heard, Angel didn't save the woman on his first mission ("City of").
Spike wants to know what Angel has to do with it.
Lindsey answers, "Nothin'. Not anymore."
In Angel's office, Wes and Gunn are still arguing over the best way to deal with the warlock. Fred enters, pointing out she can hear them out in the hall. She lays some papers on Angel's desk, telling him it's lab reports.
As she starts to leave, Wes asks her if the W&H satellite has "lethal capabilities" they could use to eliminate a target from the air, that would be untraceable.
Fred acknowledges they do have something that has those capabilities, if they did that sort of thing. She looks at Gunn, "Do we do that sort of thing?"
As she goes into a technical explanation of it, Angel looks on, having a hard time focusing on what's being said.
As Fred, Wes and Gunn continue discussing, their voices in Angel's mind become more and more faint. Angel finally speaks up, "Let's kill them all."
Fred asks, "What?"
Angel gets more agitated as he continues, "Warlocks, minions -- they're all evil. Sold their kids to the devil. Let's just wipe them all out. We got the power to do that, right?"
A concerned Wes admits they do, "but Angel -- "
Angel gets to his feet and cuts Wes off, "Well why don't we? Let's just get back to the basics. Good versus evil. Offing the monsters where we find them."
Gunn tells him they need to tread carefully.
Angel is suddenly a bit unsteady on his feet as he puts his hand to his head.
Gunn asks if he's okay.
Angel calms down, saying he's just tired. He directs Gunn to arrange a meeting with his best "Judas", feel him out, but not to tip his hand. If Gunn gets any hint that individual takes word back to the warlock, they go with Wesley's plan.
Fred asks if he's all right.
He says he is, he just needs to get some rest.
Fred tells him to get some rest, maybe sleep in tomorrow.
Angel notes there's too much to do.
Wes offers they can handle it.
Gunn adds they know where to find him if anything major comes up.
Angel walks slowly over to the elevator and gets on it as Wes stares after him.
Angel steps off the elevator and into his penthouse.
Wes calls his name.
Angel greets him.
Wes notes Angel doesn't look well as he offers to assist him to the bed.
Angel thinks he's sick.
Wes notes vampires don't get sick as Angel sits down on the bed.
Angel says he doesn't feel right.
Wes reckons that's understandable, he has a lot on his mind. He's sure it's been difficult, adjusting to the new situation.
Angel looks up at him, not sure what he's getting at.
Wes explains, "Finally coming to grips with the truth, that you're irrelevant."
Angel quietly asks, "What?"
Wes sighs, "It's difficult to face, I know. But things could have been much worse. Spike's arrival was actually quite fortuitous." He pulls a stake from behind his back, "It'll make this a lot easier."
A stunned Angel asks, "Wh -- What -- What are you --?"
Wes plunges the stake into Angel's chest. He screams.
Angel snaps out of the hallucination, finding himself sitting on the bed in his penthouse, alone.
A young couple huddles in fear behind a car as Spike fights several vamps. He beats them down and dusts the final two with the wrist mounted stake devices Angel has used previously as they charge him from opposite sides (reminiscent of Angel's alley fight in "City of").
Spike tells the couple it's okay, they're safe now.
The guy asks what those things were.
Spike says he's better off not knowing. He starts to walk away.
The woman asks who he is.
Without looking back, Spike answers dryly, "I'm the hero."
At W&H, Wes approaches Harm, who's standing in front of her desk, and offers her some paperwork. He tells her he needs her to take it to accounting and to tell them it's about the warlock situation.
Harm says she's not allowed to talk to accounting without Angel's approval. Off Wesley's look, she explains, "I accidentally authorized a few bath-of-the-month subscriptions. On accident."
Wes hands her the papers, instructing her to give them his authorization code, tell them to cut a check and send it out right away.
Harm walks away as Eve walks up, "That's the spirit! Solving problems by throwing money at them. You're starting to get the hang of this job."
Wes curtly asks if he can help her with something.
She says she's looking for Angel.
Wes tells her Angel is unavailable and asks what he can do for her.
She insists she needs to speak to Angel.
Wes notes the item she's holding, telling her whatever she's got, Angel will hand it off to him anyway so she might as well show it to him now.
Eve hands him a stone relic with runes carved into it. She claims the Senior Partners are very interested in it. She doesn't know what it is and she doesn't think the Partners know either, but she thinks they believe it's powerful because they're very anxious to learn whatever they can.
Wes tells her they'll do their best, he'll have it for her as soon as possible.
Eve smiles, "That's my boy!" and departs.
Harm steps up, informing Wes she's supposed to tell Angel right away about anything having to do with the Partners.
Wes assures her he'll take care of it. As he starts to walk away, Harm adds, "Anytime something comes in with runes on it? I'm supposed to tell Angel right away ... And not try and read the runes myself .... 'Cause, that can cause a fire."
Wes tells her they'll inform Angel as soon as they know anything, "Until then, I think Angel deserves some peace and quiet." He walks away.
Angel is lying in his bed, feverish and groaning. He wakes (or so it seems) to find Fred coming in, noting he looks terrible.
He tells her he thinks something is wrong.
Fred tells him not to worry, she knows what to do. She turns away, then turns back and snaps a rubber glove onto one hand, "Let's take a look under the hood."
A confused Angel doesn't know what's going on as he suddenly finds himself in the lab, Fred is now wearing her lab coat and snapping a rubber glove onto her other hand. From Angel's perspective, he's still in his own bed, but it's now located in the lab.
Angel looks around and nervously asks Fred what she's doing.
She smiles as she wheels a surgical tray with a large metal bucket on it toward him. She picks up a scalpel, lays her hand on his chest and assures him it'll be okay.
A terrified Angel gasps as she runs the scalpel down his chest. A cracking sound is heard as she opens him up.
A cheerful Fred smiles, "There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" She starts pulling out organs and tossing them into the bucket as Angel asks her to stop.
She tells him not to worry, he's a vampire, he doesn't need this stuff anyway. She thinks he probably should have had them removed long ago. She digs deeper as Angel groans. She pulls out a walnut, "Ah! There's your heart! Hey! What do ya know? It is a dried up little walnut!" ("The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco") She tosses it into the bucket.
She goes back inside and pulls out a long pearl necklace. She drapes it around her neck and goes back digging, "Raisins."
Angel looks on, confused.
She eats the raisins she pulled out then goes back in and pulls out a battered auto license plate, "Hmm. Came up the Gulf Stream, huh?" She tosses it aside and plunges her arm into his chest, nearly up to the shoulder. She pulls out a water filled fishbowl, the goldfish is floating at the top, dead. "There's your soul!" She looks at the dead fish, "Ohh. We're gonna have to flush this." She hands the fishbowl over to someone standing next to her, dressed in a bear costume, "Thank you, bear."
She turns her attention back to Angel.
He asks what's wrong.
She says she can't find anything wrong, except that he's empty. She looks inside his chest cavity, "There's nothing left, just a shell." She leans over and listens, "I think I can hear the ocean in there." She peers inside and shouts, "Hello!" as her voice echoes in the abyss.
Angel's eyes flutter open and closed as he lies in his bed, still hallucinating.
In Wesley's office, Fred examines the stone as Wes notes Eve didn't say much, just that it needed to be done as quickly as possible.
Gunn enters. He hands Wes some papers and tells him he's been getting reports of a vigilante "prowling the streets last night."
Wes notes Angel never left the penthouse as he takes a seat behind his desk and reads over the papers, "The vigilante reportedly killed two vampires at a gas station and then asked the women he saved if they'd 'like to get a bottle of hooch and listen to some Sex Pistols with him.'"
Fred asks if they're sure Angel is just tired and not insane.
Gunn suggests Wes read the description of the vigilante which he does, "Medium build, black leather coat, platinum blonde hair."
Lindsey leads Spike down some steps to a basement apartment, reminiscent of Angel's apartment in the basement of the building that originally housed AI. He goes inside. Spike stands outside the doorway, waiting for an invitation.
Lindsey tells him it's not his place, it's Spike's. He points out the place's advantages; the building is quiet, no direct sunlight, sewer tunnel access for daytime travel.
Spike notes he didn't mention cable.
Lindsey says it comes with all the basics, there's even an all-night Korean market on the corner.
Spike appreciates the help in becoming corporeal but he draws the line at becoming a "kept boy."
Lindsey asks if he has someplace else to live. He reckons Spike must have money stashed away somewhere, he's sure he'll find something soon.
Spike doesn't say anything.
Lindsey says he's offering him a place to stay, he could say thanks.
Spike snarks, "Great, another ruddy basement."
Lindsey tells him he can go to W&H if he wants "creature comforts", the apartment offers everything he needs "to be a hero." He notes the job requires a somewhat "Spartan existence."
Spike looks toward the bedroom, "You call that a bed?"
Lindsey looks at the bed, "Well, it's not like you're going to be sharing it with anyone anytime soon."
In the penthouse, Angel continues hallucinating. He wakes to the sounds of shagging as he rolls over and sees Spike doing a blonde on the bed next to him. He calls out to Spike.
Spike doesn't break stride (or thrust, as it were) as he quietly tells Angel to keep it down, then notes he has something on his shirt.
Angel hears a familiar voice, "Every time I say the word prom, you get grouchy."
Angel responds to that, "Buffy?"
Spike says it won't be long now.
Angel asks if Spike is taking Buffy to the prom.
He hears her voice again, "Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish."
A dejected Angel says, "I thought we were going to the --"
Spike interrupts, "Shh. I can't be a marathon man with all your yammering."
The gang is gathered, along with other employees, in Angel's office. Fred is holding a cake with a picture of the city burning painted on top of it. Everyone sings "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" as an embarrassed Spike watches. The group chants for a speech..
Spike thanks everyone, he doesn't really know what to say.
Everyone laughs.
Spike continues, "I'm just a working class bloke, fulfilling his destiny. It was nothing, really."
Fred gushes, "You single-handedly ended Armageddon and turned the world into a beautiful, happily-ever-after, candy mountain place where all our dreams come true!"
Everyone dramatically extends an arm in a sweeping motion and shuffles a few steps toward the window where the view is one of a fairy tale; castles and rainbows in a peaceful, perfect bucolic setting.
Spike notes it's beautiful.
Gunn tells Spike it's time for his reward.
Spike says he didn't do it for a reward.
Gunn says that's why he's getting one.
Spike turns as the crowd ooooohs and ahhhhhhhs.
As a Blue Fairy floats into the room, Wes says, "After all, anyone who saves the world from bloodshed, horror and misery deserves to get what they've always wanted."
Fred chimes in dreamily, "Deserves to become a real boy."
The Blue Fairy raises her wand, "And so you shall." She sprinkles fairy dust over Spike as a disheartened Angel looks on.
Spike puts his hand to his chest, "My heart --" He turns to face the crowd, "It's beating again! Listen!"
Fred rushes up and lays her ear to his chest, "You're human, Spike! You're alive!"
Gunn rushes up, wanting to hear too.
Three cheers for Spike, hip hip hooray, as Angel looks down at himself, then slowly turns and exits the office, pushing a mail cart down the hall.
Spike opens the door of his new apartment to find Wes and Gunn on the other side, "Look who's come to call, Crockett and Tubbs." He invites them in, saying he probably should have expected a visit "from big brother's L.A. branch sooner or later."
He pulls a beer out of the fridge as Gunn asks what he's up to. They're a little concerned, the last time they saw him he was on his way to Europe.
Spike says he had a change of plans, heart and mind.
As he sits down, Wes notes it sounds like he's been busy, they've gotten reports of a vigilante who matches Spike's description.
Spike snipes, "Yes, that's what you people do, isn't it? You get reports, you sign checks, you read memos." He raises his beer bottle in a toasting gesture, "Here's to the corporate teat." He takes a swig then asks how they found him.
Gunn says it wasn't difficult, they put a couple of psychics on it that afternoon.
Wes adds coldly, "One of the advantages of the corporate teat."
Spike asks what he can do for them.
Wes says they hear he's fighting the good fight these days.
Gunn reckons that's their territory.
Spike wonders if that's why they're there, they're upset because he stepped on their toes.
Gunn calmly assures him that's not the case, they're just wondering why he left in the first place.
Wes tells him if he wants to save the world, they have the resources to do it.
Spike isn't interested, "No offense, Mr. Vader, but I've got no itch to join the evil empire."
Gunn says it's different, Spike knows that, they've changed things.
Spike isn't buying, "I told Angel, I'll tell you. Place like that doesn't change, not from the inside, not from the out. Sign on there, it changes you, puts things in your head. Spins your compass needle around till you can't cross the street without tripping the proverbial old lady and stepping on her glasses. And it's not like I wasn't dead, gents, like I wasn't watching you. Had to haunt the damned place, remember?"
Gunn says they're making a difference, they're just playing by a new set of rules.
Spike wonders if they expect him to put on a suit and come play with them.
Wes confirms that sums it up.
Spike is incredulous, "I can't believe Angel would sign off on that ..... unless .... He doesn't know you're here, does he?"
Neither Wes or Gunn says anything.
Spike scoffs, "Hedging our bets, are we boys?"
Gunn denies that.
Spike smiles, "And the compass needle keeps spinning. And the world gets murkier and murkier."
In the bedroom of either Lindsey's or Eve's place, Lindsey notes with a satisfied smile they don't have a clue what's happening.
Eve, who's straddling him on the bed, bends over and kisses his neck.
He pushes her back, telling her to focus. He asks if she's sure "Team Angel" hasn't checked up on him.
She assures him they've been preoccupied with "some relic that's got the Senior Partners in a huff." She asks if they're "going to do this or what?" as she reaches beside the bed.
Lindsey grabs her arm.
Eve, annoyed, agrees to talk more. She asks if Spike is "buying into it."
Lindsey confirms he is, so far. He smiles, noting Spike hasn't put a big red 'S' on his chest yet, but he's getting there.
Eve bends over and starts kissing his neck, working her way down his body as he continues pondering the situation, "We keep building him up, and we tear Angel down. Pretty soon the Senior Partners are gonna start thinking they're backing the wrong horse."
Eve pauses a moment, "Unless they find out we're fixing the race."
He pushes her back up to a sitting position as he sits up as well. He tells her he's dead if that happens.
She tells him to relax, they'll never know it's him as she pushes his shirt back, exposing his tattoos, "Not while you have these pretty pictures." She runs her hands over the runes on his chest.
He pulls his shirt up and tells her the tats aren't for playing, they're the only thing keeping him off W&H's "radar."
She still thinks they're sexy.
He says she can think whatever she wants, after they finish their "project."
She asks if that means he's going to give her what she wants or keep up the teasing all day.
He throws her down onto the bed, exchanging positions with her, "Good girls always get what they want."
As he buries his face in her neck and kisses her she smiles, reaches out and places her hand on a rune engraved box next to the bed, "Ohh, this is going to be fun."
Wes and Gunn step off the elevator. Fred approaches, asking if they spoke with Spike.
Wes confirms they did.
Fred wants to know what he said.
As they enter Gunn's office, Wes answers, "Apparently we're not good enough for him."
Gunn adds, Spike thinks they sold out.
Fred denies that, "We're changing the system from the inside."
Gunn thinks that sounds really naive when said out loud.
Fred asks if they shouldn't tell Angel.
Gunn isn't sure what there is to tell him, that Spike is open for business in "Angel's town"? He doesn't reckon Angel needs to hear that right now.
Fred doesn't think they need to protect him then asks if anyone has heard from him all day.
Fred walks up to Harm's desk and asks if there's been any word from Angel.
Harm briefly looks up from the magazine she's reading and says she hasn't heard anything.
Fred suggests perhaps they should call him and check in.
Harm agrees with that, "Act like we care? Good plan!" She puts down the magazine, picks up the phone and calls Angel's penthouse.
In the penthouse, the phone rings. Angel hears a piano playing. He sits up and finds Lorne playing an upright and dressed in the attire of a western saloon piano player; slicked hair and a waxed mustache. Angel says his name.
Lorne answers, "Oh. Round these parts, folks call me Honky-tonk." He spits. There's a clang as it hits a spittoon nearby.
At Harm's desk, she reports she got Angel's voice mail. She asks if Fred wants to leave a message.
Fred would rather check in. As she walks away from the desk, she's intercepted by Eve, asking about the tests.
Fred doesn't know what she's talking about.
Eve reminds her, the stone relic, the runes.
Fred says she's on it.
Eve is glad to hear that, "'Cause I'm getting a lot of heat on this. And when I say heat? I mean actual flames, under my feet. The Senior Partners are a tad impatient."
Fred realizes she wants the tests done now.
Eve confirms that, unless Fred has something else to do.
Fred starts to say she was going to check on Angel but decides that can wait. She walks away.
In the penthouse, Lorne is playing "My Darling Clementine" on the piano as Angel watches. Lorne finishes playing and asks why Angel is so down.
Harm steps up, dressed like a refugee from a Hope/Crosby road picture, and serves Lorne a drink.
Angel says he thinks he's lost.
Lorne suggests he order a drink as he points to Harm.
Angel mutters, "Everything hurts."
Lorne says, "Now you're getting it. Everything hurts, then we die. Or in your case, everything hurts, then you go on ... and on ... and on ..."
Angel doesn't know what to do.
Lorne suggests he sing so he can read him.
A bright spotlight shines on Angel as Lorne starts playing "My Darling Clementine" again.
Angel opens his mouth and tries to sing, but nothing comes out.
Lorne urges him to sing it.
Angel tries again, but all that comes out is a small screeching sound.
Fred's voice is heard saying, "I told you he was empty."
Across the room, Wes, Fred, and Gunn are seated at a table. Wes says it's ridiculous, they paid good money for this, "We paid blood for this."
Lorne notes to Angel the crowd is turning on him.
Gunn looks at him, his eyes have morphed into the panther's eyes, he roars at Angel.
Eve steps up, "You poor thing, you're still suffering, aren't you?"
Angel looks at Lorne who asks, "You still got that thing on your shirt?"
Angel looks down and sees the parasite on his chest. He grabs it and pulls it off then wakes up as he bolts upright and squeezes the guts out of it.
Eve is standing across the bedroom, "Wow, you killed Junior."
As Angel says her name, she walks into the room, carrying the rune engraved box she was fondling earlier while with Lindsey. She says she's not there, he's dreaming. She tells him not to worry as she opens the hinged lid on the box, "The dream's almost over."
A much larger version of the slimy parasite crawls to the top of the box.
Angel's lying back down on the bed, watching in terror as the parasite crawls up his body.
Eve smiles and leaves.
Angel manages to gather his strength and throw it off of himself, then falls out of bed, onto the floor.
Spike returns to his apartment to find Lindsey is already there, having made himself comfortable on the couch. Spike sets the 6-pack he's carrying down on the table, "Thought this was a single. Didn't know I was gonna have a bloody roommate."
Lindsey says he was checking in, "keeping tabs." He gets up and walks over to the table and takes a bottle of beer from the carton. He opens the bottle and tells Spike that's what he does.
As he lifts the bottle toward his mouth, Spike snatches it out of his hand. He drinks from it and tells Lindsey he doesn't need a baby-sitter.
Lindsey wonders if he's so prickly with all his friends.
Spike snipes, he's a softy on the inside.
Lindsey puts his hand to his head, claiming to have a vision.
Spike asks what that was about. He tells Lindsey not to expect him to jump every time he gets one of those.
Lindsey thinks he'll want to jump on this one.
In his bedroom, Angel crawls toward the phone. He manages to pull it off the table, rolls over onto his back and is attacked by the parasite which buries its fangs into his chest.
Angel finds himself in a recliner chair, sitting in a sunlit field, alone. He hears Fred say, "This is nice", looks up and sees her approach. Lorne, Gunn and Wes follow.
Wes tells him he can stay as long as he wants, forever.
Angel says no, there's a lot of work to do.
Gunn assures him they can handle it.
Angel is uncomfortable, he isn't supposed to be there.
Lorne tells him to let go, stop fighting, be free.
Angel argues, he's not finished yet.
Wes tells him he is if he wants to be.
Fred says it'll be fine, all he has to do is stop caring, just -- Her head snaps back as an ear piercing screech comes out of her mouth.
Wes, Gunn and Lorne follow suit.
In the penthouse bedroom, the parasite screeches as Spike pulls it off Angel's chest and smashes it against the wall. He reckons that'll be a mess to clean up.
Angel says his name.
Spike tells him no need for thanks, "Just helping the helpless." He walks away.
Wes comes out of the penthouse bedroom into the living room, reporting to the others gathered there, "It was a Selminth Parasite. Its teeth inject an anesthetic, making the host oblivious to its presence. You'd never know you had it on you. Pumps neurotoxins into the body causing paralysis, hallucinations, fever dreams."
Angel is sitting on the couch next to Fred, drinking blood. He says it felt real. He tells Fred she was dissecting him, taking things out of him, "and there was this .. bear." Angel notes Lorne tried to get him to sing then looks at Gunn, "You were big with the heckling."
Gunn isn't sure what to say, "Uh, sorry?"
Fred asks Wes what would have happened if the parasite had continued poisoning Angel.
Wes tells her he'd have been stuck in a permanent vegetative state.
Lorne reckons it's a good thing Spike saved the day but wonders how he even knew Angel was in trouble.
Angel mutters, he didn't say.
Gunn wants to know how the parasite got there.
Fred notes they're checking the firm's storage facilities to see if anything escaped.
Angel looks at Eve, "You. You brought it."
She denies that.
He knows she was there.
She insists it was only in his dreams.
Angel says she put the bigger one on him after he killed the first one.
Wes tells him there was only one.
Angel says no.
Wes suggests perhaps he's confusing reality with the hallucinations.
Angel gets to his feet and confronts Eve. He observes she changed her clothes, but she didn't change her earrings. She was wearing the same ones in his hallucination but he hasn't seen her for days.
She says she's worn them before, she's not responsible for how he dresses her in his fantasies.
Fred notes Eve did change her clothes and she's never seen those earrings before today.
Eve asks what it is they think she --
Angel doesn't know, but he figures the Senior Partners didn't give him the firm to have him turned into a vegetable. The others glare accusingly at Eve. Angel asks if she's playing her own game. He wonders what she thinks the Partners will do to her when they find out about her "extracurricular activities."
Eve is undaunted, "So, things aren't going your way and you're looking for someone outside your little circle to blame." She walks past him and toward the elevator, "Here's a thought, maybe you should try looking inward."
She steps onto the elevator and turns back toward the others, "Unless you don't like what you see."
The elevator doors slide shut.
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S5/EPISODE 10
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| Written by: Brent Fletcher | Original Air Date: January 21, 2004 |
Pick up from the end of the Angel/Spike fight in "Destiny",
but things play out a little differently. A bloody and battered
Angel pulls a piece of wood out of his shoulder and looks over to
see Spike pick up the cup. Angel tells him it's not a trophy, it's
a burden.
Spike cuts him off, "Blah, blah, blah. Give it a rest, hero.
I win. You lose. And all your talking is not going to change that."
Angel says it's his destiny, not Spike's.
Spike thinks it's pathetic Angel still can't accept the truth. "All
your life's been a lie. Everything you've done ... the lives you've
saved ... dreams of redemption ... all that pain. All of it for
nothing, 'cause this was never about you." He raises the cup,
"Cheers" and drinks from it.
Spike is suddenly bathed in a bright light as he groans, extends
his arms out to his sides and drops the cup.
Angel screams as his face burns away.
Angel snaps out of the daymare and looks around his office where
he's sitting behind the desk, alone.
Spike is in a strip club, watching a pole dance on-stage as he enjoys a drink.
Lindsey approaches and sets a glass in front of him.
Spike isn't interested, "Thanks, but not really my type, Mary." He suggests Lindsey leave as he shoves the drink back across the table.
Lindsey remains standing across from Spike.
Spike wants to know what he's looking at.
Lindsey notes a guy like Spike, wasting his time in a strip joint, looks like he's lost.
Spike reckons he knows exactly where he is as he recites the name of the club and the name of the stripper on-stage, "Sunshine" (though he's pretty sure that's not her real name).
Lindsey suggests they talk.
Spike isn't interested as he gets to his feet and in Lindsey's face. He's not interested in whatever it is Lindsey is selling and suggests he sell it elsewhere. He walks away.
Lindsey calls out, "Hey, Spike! Get any interesting mail lately?"
That gets Spike's attention as he stops and turns back toward Lindsey, "Who the bloody hell are you?"
Lindsey takes a seat at the table, "Your new best friend."
A surprised Spike realizes Lindsey is saying he's the one who brought him back, sent the package with the "de-ghosting mojo" and the amulet.
Lindsey confirms that, "Couldn't leave your spirit trapped in a bauble at the bottom of a hellmouth, could we?"
Spike wants to know what "we" he's referring to.
Lindsey reckons Spike must know there are many who are interested in him, "Powerfully interested, one might say."
As he raises his glass, Spike slaps it out of his hand, "Enough with the cryptic, Butch." He notices the runic tattoos on Lindsey's forearm as he grips it, "I want to know who, or what, you are, what you want, and how fast I can snap your forearm before you answer."
Lindsey says Spike can call him "Doyle" but it's not about what he wants, it's about what Spike wants. He jerks his arm free. He notes Spike has his life back now, he wonders what he plans to do with it.
Wes and Gunn are walking through the lobby outside Angel's office, discussing business. Wes thinks they should "remove him before he and his followers go underground."
Gunn asks if he's talking about assassination.
Wes notes they're dealing with an "evil warlock", the longer they wait, the more powerful he gets.
Gunn says he wasn't planning on waiting.
Wes asks what he was planning then as they approach Harm's desk.
Gunn answers, "We open a can of Machiavelli on his ass."
Harm snipes, "It's Matchebelli, Einstein, and it doesn't come in a can."
Gunn asks if "he" is in.
Harmony asks who.
Wes and Gunn head for Angel's office.
As they enter, they continue their discussion. Wes says what Gunn is suggesting could take weeks, they don't have that much time.
Gunn counters, it won't take more than 48 hours at most and points out there are people in the warlock's inner circle who wouldn't hesitate to exploit an opportunity to overthrow him.
Wes thinks Gunn is ignoring the tactical advantages of his assassination plan.
Angel looks on from his position in his chair behind the desk, confused. He makes an effort to get their attention, "Guys?"
Gunn tells Wes with his plan, the warlock will still be dead by Thursday.
Angel gets a little louder to get their attention, "Guys!" They both stop talking and look at him, "CEO, right here, in the dark."
Wes offers apologies as he hands Angel a file folder and explains what they're talking about, "Lucien Drake, he's a warlock."
Gunn adds he's evil with a list of followers that numbers at least a thousand. He's pretty sure they sold their children "down the Hades River in return for some serious demonic mojo."
Wes notes it's another fanatical religious fringe group stockpiling weapons, but in this case, the weapons are extremely dangerous black magicks.
Angel looks through the file, "And you want Wolfram & Hart to stop them."
Gunn says they don't want to stop them, exactly.
Wes clarifies, they're more interested in "redirecting their energies."
Gunn points out the cult has alliances, connections. If they confront them directly, it could be bad for business.
Wes notes, "If we eliminate their leader covertly --"
Gunn interrupts, "They'll spend the next billing cycle fighting amongst themselves, hacking out the new pecking order."
Angel considers that a moment then asks, "So, are we doing this because it's right or because it's cost effective?"
They concede it's a bit of both. Wes says they again find themselves in a kind of gray --
An irritated Angel cuts him off, he doesn't want to hear that. He sharply asks if they can't get through "one damned day without saying that?"
Gunn and Wes exchange a look but say nothing.
Angel sighs and rubs the side of his face. He composes himself and asks them to explain it again.
At the strip club, Spike stands, telling Lindsey he's heard enough. He starts to walk away.
Lindsey gets up and follows, asking if Spike doesn't at least want to know why he's back in L.A., given he hates it there.
Spike notes Lindsey talks a lot for someone who isn't saying anything.
Lindsey puts his hand on Spike's shoulder, telling him he has a destiny.
An angry Spike turns and grabs him by the throat, slamming him against the wall, "Like the destiny that was supposed to be at the bottom of a Perpetual Cup of Nothing?" ("Destiny") Spike pulls him away from the wall and slams him back into it. He reckons if Lindsey knows so much about him, he should also know that he gets violent when he's being played. Spike accuses Lindsey of being the one who sent him and Angel in pursuit of that cup.
An agitated Lindsey claims ignorance of that as he pulls Spike's hand off of his throat. He says he only does what "they" tell him to do.
Spike asks about "they."
Lindsey says it was "they, them" who brought Spike back. He's just a guy, a drifter, who was minding his own business then one day he got slammed with visions.
Spike asks about the visions.
Lindsey claims he gets "brain pictures" accompanied by pain, he sees people in trouble who "need a champion."
Spike scoffs, "Hey, you are barking up the wrong vampire. That's Angel's beat."
Lindsey says Angel isn't part of it anymore, he's working for the other side. There's nobody out there helping the people who need help.
Spike asks, "Am I supposed to jump every time you get a vision of someone in dire peril?"
Lindsey asks why Spike thinks they're having this chat, he had a vision just before he came to the strip club. He says Spike doesn't have to believe him, but wonders, if a young woman is murdered that night and Spike did nothing to stop it, can he live with himself?
A young woman is being attacked by a vampire in an alley. As the vamp slams her against the side of a building and prepares to feed on her, Spike interrupts, "Evenin'".
The vamp turns and tells him to get lost, then turns back to his intended prey.
As Spike approaches, he casually notes some think he already is.
The woman pleads for help.
The vamp turns, noticing Spike hasn't left. He figures Spike didn't hear him. He shoves the woman to the ground and approaches Spike, telling him to go. When Spike makes no move to leave, the vamp warns him he's just made a big mistake.
Spike grabs him and shoves him through a wooden railing, breaking it. He pulls the vamp up and shoves him backward, impaling him on a piece of the broken railing. The vamp is dusted.
The terrified woman gets to her feet and offers her thanks, "That thing was going to kill me!"
Spike isn't sympathetic, "Well, what do you expect? Out alone in this neighborhood? I got half a mind to kill you myself, you half-wit."
The woman is offended, "What?!?"
Spike continues, "I mean, honestly, what kind of retard wears heels like that in a dark alley? Take two steps, break your bloody ankle."
The woman offers defensively, she was just trying to get home.
As she walks away, Spike shouts after her, "Well, get a cab, you moron, and on the way? If a stranger offers you candy? Don't get in the van!" As she disappears out of the alley, he turns and mutters, "Stupid cow."
Lindsey, who is standing on a stairway landing, asks if Spike believes him now.
Spike notes people in trouble are common in L.A., what happened doesn't prove his claim of visions.
Lindsey congratulates him on a job well done.
Spike isn't impressed.
Lindsey points out he just saved a woman's life, that's not something to take lightly. He suggests Spike might try to be a bit nicer next time, he almost made the woman cry.
Spike asks about the "next time."
Lindsey says it's up to Spike, there are a lot of people who need saving.
Spike informs him he doesn't need Lindsey's assistance, "Been saving people since long before you showed up."
Lindsey notes Spike just helped someone when there wasn't anything in it for him, "That's not the Spike I know."
Spike asks suspiciously which Spike that might be.
Lindsey answers, "The Spike that's only out for himself. The one that does good deeds to impress ..... women."
Spike warns him to watch it.
Lindsey notes he was just saying Spike did something good, from what he's heard, Angel didn't save the woman on his first mission ("City of").
Spike wants to know what Angel has to do with it.
Lindsey answers, "Nothin'. Not anymore."
In Angel's office, Wes and Gunn are still arguing over the best way to deal with the warlock. Fred enters, pointing out she can hear them out in the hall. She lays some papers on Angel's desk, telling him it's lab reports.
As she starts to leave, Wes asks her if the W&H satellite has "lethal capabilities" they could use to eliminate a target from the air, that would be untraceable.
Fred acknowledges they do have something that has those capabilities, if they did that sort of thing. She looks at Gunn, "Do we do that sort of thing?"
As she goes into a technical explanation of it, Angel looks on, having a hard time focusing on what's being said.
As Fred, Wes and Gunn continue discussing, their voices in Angel's mind become more and more faint. Angel finally speaks up, "Let's kill them all."
Fred asks, "What?"
Angel gets more agitated as he continues, "Warlocks, minions -- they're all evil. Sold their kids to the devil. Let's just wipe them all out. We got the power to do that, right?"
A concerned Wes admits they do, "but Angel -- "
Angel gets to his feet and cuts Wes off, "Well why don't we? Let's just get back to the basics. Good versus evil. Offing the monsters where we find them."
Gunn tells him they need to tread carefully.
Angel is suddenly a bit unsteady on his feet as he puts his hand to his head.
Gunn asks if he's okay.
Angel calms down, saying he's just tired. He directs Gunn to arrange a meeting with his best "Judas", feel him out, but not to tip his hand. If Gunn gets any hint that individual takes word back to the warlock, they go with Wesley's plan.
Fred asks if he's all right.
He says he is, he just needs to get some rest.
Fred tells him to get some rest, maybe sleep in tomorrow.
Angel notes there's too much to do.
Wes offers they can handle it.
Gunn adds they know where to find him if anything major comes up.
Angel walks slowly over to the elevator and gets on it as Wes stares after him.
Angel steps off the elevator and into his penthouse.
Wes calls his name.
Angel greets him.
Wes notes Angel doesn't look well as he offers to assist him to the bed.
Angel thinks he's sick.
Wes notes vampires don't get sick as Angel sits down on the bed.
Angel says he doesn't feel right.
Wes reckons that's understandable, he has a lot on his mind. He's sure it's been difficult, adjusting to the new situation.
Angel looks up at him, not sure what he's getting at.
Wes explains, "Finally coming to grips with the truth, that you're irrelevant."
Angel quietly asks, "What?"
Wes sighs, "It's difficult to face, I know. But things could have been much worse. Spike's arrival was actually quite fortuitous." He pulls a stake from behind his back, "It'll make this a lot easier."
A stunned Angel asks, "Wh -- What -- What are you --?"
Wes plunges the stake into Angel's chest. He screams.
Angel snaps out of the hallucination, finding himself sitting on the bed in his penthouse, alone.
A young couple huddles in fear behind a car as Spike fights several vamps. He beats them down and dusts the final two with the wrist mounted stake devices Angel has used previously as they charge him from opposite sides (reminiscent of Angel's alley fight in "City of").
Spike tells the couple it's okay, they're safe now.
The guy asks what those things were.
Spike says he's better off not knowing. He starts to walk away.
The woman asks who he is.
Without looking back, Spike answers dryly, "I'm the hero."
At W&H, Wes approaches Harm, who's standing in front of her desk, and offers her some paperwork. He tells her he needs her to take it to accounting and to tell them it's about the warlock situation.
Harm says she's not allowed to talk to accounting without Angel's approval. Off Wesley's look, she explains, "I accidentally authorized a few bath-of-the-month subscriptions. On accident."
Wes hands her the papers, instructing her to give them his authorization code, tell them to cut a check and send it out right away.
Harm walks away as Eve walks up, "That's the spirit! Solving problems by throwing money at them. You're starting to get the hang of this job."
Wes curtly asks if he can help her with something.
She says she's looking for Angel.
Wes tells her Angel is unavailable and asks what he can do for her.
She insists she needs to speak to Angel.
Wes notes the item she's holding, telling her whatever she's got, Angel will hand it off to him anyway so she might as well show it to him now.
Eve hands him a stone relic with runes carved into it. She claims the Senior Partners are very interested in it. She doesn't know what it is and she doesn't think the Partners know either, but she thinks they believe it's powerful because they're very anxious to learn whatever they can.
Wes tells her they'll do their best, he'll have it for her as soon as possible.
Eve smiles, "That's my boy!" and departs.
Harm steps up, informing Wes she's supposed to tell Angel right away about anything having to do with the Partners.
Wes assures her he'll take care of it. As he starts to walk away, Harm adds, "Anytime something comes in with runes on it? I'm supposed to tell Angel right away ... And not try and read the runes myself .... 'Cause, that can cause a fire."
Wes tells her they'll inform Angel as soon as they know anything, "Until then, I think Angel deserves some peace and quiet." He walks away.
Angel is lying in his bed, feverish and groaning. He wakes (or so it seems) to find Fred coming in, noting he looks terrible.
He tells her he thinks something is wrong.
Fred tells him not to worry, she knows what to do. She turns away, then turns back and snaps a rubber glove onto one hand, "Let's take a look under the hood."
A confused Angel doesn't know what's going on as he suddenly finds himself in the lab, Fred is now wearing her lab coat and snapping a rubber glove onto her other hand. From Angel's perspective, he's still in his own bed, but it's now located in the lab.
Angel looks around and nervously asks Fred what she's doing.
She smiles as she wheels a surgical tray with a large metal bucket on it toward him. She picks up a scalpel, lays her hand on his chest and assures him it'll be okay.
A terrified Angel gasps as she runs the scalpel down his chest. A cracking sound is heard as she opens him up.
A cheerful Fred smiles, "There. That wasn't so bad, was it?" She starts pulling out organs and tossing them into the bucket as Angel asks her to stop.
She tells him not to worry, he's a vampire, he doesn't need this stuff anyway. She thinks he probably should have had them removed long ago. She digs deeper as Angel groans. She pulls out a walnut, "Ah! There's your heart! Hey! What do ya know? It is a dried up little walnut!" ("The Cautionary Tale of Numero Cinco") She tosses it into the bucket.
She goes back inside and pulls out a long pearl necklace. She drapes it around her neck and goes back digging, "Raisins."
Angel looks on, confused.
She eats the raisins she pulled out then goes back in and pulls out a battered auto license plate, "Hmm. Came up the Gulf Stream, huh?" She tosses it aside and plunges her arm into his chest, nearly up to the shoulder. She pulls out a water filled fishbowl, the goldfish is floating at the top, dead. "There's your soul!" She looks at the dead fish, "Ohh. We're gonna have to flush this." She hands the fishbowl over to someone standing next to her, dressed in a bear costume, "Thank you, bear."
She turns her attention back to Angel.
He asks what's wrong.
She says she can't find anything wrong, except that he's empty. She looks inside his chest cavity, "There's nothing left, just a shell." She leans over and listens, "I think I can hear the ocean in there." She peers inside and shouts, "Hello!" as her voice echoes in the abyss.
Angel's eyes flutter open and closed as he lies in his bed, still hallucinating.
In Wesley's office, Fred examines the stone as Wes notes Eve didn't say much, just that it needed to be done as quickly as possible.
Gunn enters. He hands Wes some papers and tells him he's been getting reports of a vigilante "prowling the streets last night."
Wes notes Angel never left the penthouse as he takes a seat behind his desk and reads over the papers, "The vigilante reportedly killed two vampires at a gas station and then asked the women he saved if they'd 'like to get a bottle of hooch and listen to some Sex Pistols with him.'"
Fred asks if they're sure Angel is just tired and not insane.
Gunn suggests Wes read the description of the vigilante which he does, "Medium build, black leather coat, platinum blonde hair."
Lindsey leads Spike down some steps to a basement apartment, reminiscent of Angel's apartment in the basement of the building that originally housed AI. He goes inside. Spike stands outside the doorway, waiting for an invitation.
Lindsey tells him it's not his place, it's Spike's. He points out the place's advantages; the building is quiet, no direct sunlight, sewer tunnel access for daytime travel.
Spike notes he didn't mention cable.
Lindsey says it comes with all the basics, there's even an all-night Korean market on the corner.
Spike appreciates the help in becoming corporeal but he draws the line at becoming a "kept boy."
Lindsey asks if he has someplace else to live. He reckons Spike must have money stashed away somewhere, he's sure he'll find something soon.
Spike doesn't say anything.
Lindsey says he's offering him a place to stay, he could say thanks.
Spike snarks, "Great, another ruddy basement."
Lindsey tells him he can go to W&H if he wants "creature comforts", the apartment offers everything he needs "to be a hero." He notes the job requires a somewhat "Spartan existence."
Spike looks toward the bedroom, "You call that a bed?"
Lindsey looks at the bed, "Well, it's not like you're going to be sharing it with anyone anytime soon."
In the penthouse, Angel continues hallucinating. He wakes to the sounds of shagging as he rolls over and sees Spike doing a blonde on the bed next to him. He calls out to Spike.
Spike doesn't break stride (or thrust, as it were) as he quietly tells Angel to keep it down, then notes he has something on his shirt.
Angel hears a familiar voice, "Every time I say the word prom, you get grouchy."
Angel responds to that, "Buffy?"
Spike says it won't be long now.
Angel asks if Spike is taking Buffy to the prom.
He hears her voice again, "Can you say jumping the gun? I kill my goldfish."
A dejected Angel says, "I thought we were going to the --"
Spike interrupts, "Shh. I can't be a marathon man with all your yammering."
Angel wakes up and gets out of bed.
He steps off the elevator and is greeted by Fred. She asks how he's
feeling.
He says he's better and thanks her.
She looks down at his feet.
He follows her gaze and notices he's barefoot.
She laughs, noting it always takes her a few days to get back into
the routine. She suggests he put on a clean shirt.
Gunn comes down the stairs, urging Angel and Fred to come along
or they'll "miss it." He walks past, Fred follows.
Angel lags behind, "Miss what?"
The place has taken on a movie theater feel with a snack bar and
large popcorn machine.
Angel walks slowly past the snack bar, into his office which is
crowded with people. The lights are down, everyone is staring out
the windows as the sounds of an apocalypse fill the air.
Angel asks, "What's everyone --?" then notices what they're
all watching out the window, the city in flames.
Lorne tells him, "Down in front!"
Harm notes he's "blocking the apocalypse."
Angel says he has to get out there, he has to do something.
Gunn suggests he go back to bed.
Lorne thinks he should at least change clothes, noting he's got
something on his shirt.
Angel looks down and notices a large red stain on the left side
of his chest.
As Angel is still lying in his bed in the penthouse, a slimy parasitic
creature wriggles and sucks at his chest.
The gang is gathered, along with other employees, in Angel's office. Fred is holding a cake with a picture of the city burning painted on top of it. Everyone sings "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" as an embarrassed Spike watches. The group chants for a speech..
Spike thanks everyone, he doesn't really know what to say.
Everyone laughs.
Spike continues, "I'm just a working class bloke, fulfilling his destiny. It was nothing, really."
Fred gushes, "You single-handedly ended Armageddon and turned the world into a beautiful, happily-ever-after, candy mountain place where all our dreams come true!"
Everyone dramatically extends an arm in a sweeping motion and shuffles a few steps toward the window where the view is one of a fairy tale; castles and rainbows in a peaceful, perfect bucolic setting.
Spike notes it's beautiful.
Gunn tells Spike it's time for his reward.
Spike says he didn't do it for a reward.
Gunn says that's why he's getting one.
Spike turns as the crowd ooooohs and ahhhhhhhs.
As a Blue Fairy floats into the room, Wes says, "After all, anyone who saves the world from bloodshed, horror and misery deserves to get what they've always wanted."
Fred chimes in dreamily, "Deserves to become a real boy."
The Blue Fairy raises her wand, "And so you shall." She sprinkles fairy dust over Spike as a disheartened Angel looks on.
Spike puts his hand to his chest, "My heart --" He turns to face the crowd, "It's beating again! Listen!"
Fred rushes up and lays her ear to his chest, "You're human, Spike! You're alive!"
Gunn rushes up, wanting to hear too.
Three cheers for Spike, hip hip hooray, as Angel looks down at himself, then slowly turns and exits the office, pushing a mail cart down the hall.
Spike opens the door of his new apartment to find Wes and Gunn on the other side, "Look who's come to call, Crockett and Tubbs." He invites them in, saying he probably should have expected a visit "from big brother's L.A. branch sooner or later."
He pulls a beer out of the fridge as Gunn asks what he's up to. They're a little concerned, the last time they saw him he was on his way to Europe.
Spike says he had a change of plans, heart and mind.
As he sits down, Wes notes it sounds like he's been busy, they've gotten reports of a vigilante who matches Spike's description.
Spike snipes, "Yes, that's what you people do, isn't it? You get reports, you sign checks, you read memos." He raises his beer bottle in a toasting gesture, "Here's to the corporate teat." He takes a swig then asks how they found him.
Gunn says it wasn't difficult, they put a couple of psychics on it that afternoon.
Wes adds coldly, "One of the advantages of the corporate teat."
Spike asks what he can do for them.
Wes says they hear he's fighting the good fight these days.
Gunn reckons that's their territory.
Spike wonders if that's why they're there, they're upset because he stepped on their toes.
Gunn calmly assures him that's not the case, they're just wondering why he left in the first place.
Wes tells him if he wants to save the world, they have the resources to do it.
Spike isn't interested, "No offense, Mr. Vader, but I've got no itch to join the evil empire."
Gunn says it's different, Spike knows that, they've changed things.
Spike isn't buying, "I told Angel, I'll tell you. Place like that doesn't change, not from the inside, not from the out. Sign on there, it changes you, puts things in your head. Spins your compass needle around till you can't cross the street without tripping the proverbial old lady and stepping on her glasses. And it's not like I wasn't dead, gents, like I wasn't watching you. Had to haunt the damned place, remember?"
Gunn says they're making a difference, they're just playing by a new set of rules.
Spike wonders if they expect him to put on a suit and come play with them.
Wes confirms that sums it up.
Spike is incredulous, "I can't believe Angel would sign off on that ..... unless .... He doesn't know you're here, does he?"
Neither Wes or Gunn says anything.
Spike scoffs, "Hedging our bets, are we boys?"
Gunn denies that.
Spike smiles, "And the compass needle keeps spinning. And the world gets murkier and murkier."
In the bedroom of either Lindsey's or Eve's place, Lindsey notes with a satisfied smile they don't have a clue what's happening.
Eve, who's straddling him on the bed, bends over and kisses his neck.
He pushes her back, telling her to focus. He asks if she's sure "Team Angel" hasn't checked up on him.
She assures him they've been preoccupied with "some relic that's got the Senior Partners in a huff." She asks if they're "going to do this or what?" as she reaches beside the bed.
Lindsey grabs her arm.
Eve, annoyed, agrees to talk more. She asks if Spike is "buying into it."
Lindsey confirms he is, so far. He smiles, noting Spike hasn't put a big red 'S' on his chest yet, but he's getting there.
Eve bends over and starts kissing his neck, working her way down his body as he continues pondering the situation, "We keep building him up, and we tear Angel down. Pretty soon the Senior Partners are gonna start thinking they're backing the wrong horse."
Eve pauses a moment, "Unless they find out we're fixing the race."
He pushes her back up to a sitting position as he sits up as well. He tells her he's dead if that happens.
She tells him to relax, they'll never know it's him as she pushes his shirt back, exposing his tattoos, "Not while you have these pretty pictures." She runs her hands over the runes on his chest.
He pulls his shirt up and tells her the tats aren't for playing, they're the only thing keeping him off W&H's "radar."
She still thinks they're sexy.
He says she can think whatever she wants, after they finish their "project."
She asks if that means he's going to give her what she wants or keep up the teasing all day.
He throws her down onto the bed, exchanging positions with her, "Good girls always get what they want."
As he buries his face in her neck and kisses her she smiles, reaches out and places her hand on a rune engraved box next to the bed, "Ohh, this is going to be fun."
Wes and Gunn step off the elevator. Fred approaches, asking if they spoke with Spike.
Wes confirms they did.
Fred wants to know what he said.
As they enter Gunn's office, Wes answers, "Apparently we're not good enough for him."
Gunn adds, Spike thinks they sold out.
Fred denies that, "We're changing the system from the inside."
Gunn thinks that sounds really naive when said out loud.
Fred asks if they shouldn't tell Angel.
Gunn isn't sure what there is to tell him, that Spike is open for business in "Angel's town"? He doesn't reckon Angel needs to hear that right now.
Fred doesn't think they need to protect him then asks if anyone has heard from him all day.
Fred walks up to Harm's desk and asks if there's been any word from Angel.
Harm briefly looks up from the magazine she's reading and says she hasn't heard anything.
Fred suggests perhaps they should call him and check in.
Harm agrees with that, "Act like we care? Good plan!" She puts down the magazine, picks up the phone and calls Angel's penthouse.
In the penthouse, the phone rings. Angel hears a piano playing. He sits up and finds Lorne playing an upright and dressed in the attire of a western saloon piano player; slicked hair and a waxed mustache. Angel says his name.
Lorne answers, "Oh. Round these parts, folks call me Honky-tonk." He spits. There's a clang as it hits a spittoon nearby.
At Harm's desk, she reports she got Angel's voice mail. She asks if Fred wants to leave a message.
Fred would rather check in. As she walks away from the desk, she's intercepted by Eve, asking about the tests.
Fred doesn't know what she's talking about.
Eve reminds her, the stone relic, the runes.
Fred says she's on it.
Eve is glad to hear that, "'Cause I'm getting a lot of heat on this. And when I say heat? I mean actual flames, under my feet. The Senior Partners are a tad impatient."
Fred realizes she wants the tests done now.
Eve confirms that, unless Fred has something else to do.
Fred starts to say she was going to check on Angel but decides that can wait. She walks away.
In the penthouse, Lorne is playing "My Darling Clementine" on the piano as Angel watches. Lorne finishes playing and asks why Angel is so down.
Harm steps up, dressed like a refugee from a Hope/Crosby road picture, and serves Lorne a drink.
Angel says he thinks he's lost.
Lorne suggests he order a drink as he points to Harm.
Angel mutters, "Everything hurts."
Lorne says, "Now you're getting it. Everything hurts, then we die. Or in your case, everything hurts, then you go on ... and on ... and on ..."
Angel doesn't know what to do.
Lorne suggests he sing so he can read him.
A bright spotlight shines on Angel as Lorne starts playing "My Darling Clementine" again.
Angel opens his mouth and tries to sing, but nothing comes out.
Lorne urges him to sing it.
Angel tries again, but all that comes out is a small screeching sound.
Fred's voice is heard saying, "I told you he was empty."
Across the room, Wes, Fred, and Gunn are seated at a table. Wes says it's ridiculous, they paid good money for this, "We paid blood for this."
Lorne notes to Angel the crowd is turning on him.
Gunn looks at him, his eyes have morphed into the panther's eyes, he roars at Angel.
Eve steps up, "You poor thing, you're still suffering, aren't you?"
Angel looks at Lorne who asks, "You still got that thing on your shirt?"
Angel looks down and sees the parasite on his chest. He grabs it and pulls it off then wakes up as he bolts upright and squeezes the guts out of it.
Eve is standing across the bedroom, "Wow, you killed Junior."
As Angel says her name, she walks into the room, carrying the rune engraved box she was fondling earlier while with Lindsey. She says she's not there, he's dreaming. She tells him not to worry as she opens the hinged lid on the box, "The dream's almost over."
A much larger version of the slimy parasite crawls to the top of the box.
Angel's lying back down on the bed, watching in terror as the parasite crawls up his body.
Eve smiles and leaves.
Angel manages to gather his strength and throw it off of himself, then falls out of bed, onto the floor.
Spike returns to his apartment to find Lindsey is already there, having made himself comfortable on the couch. Spike sets the 6-pack he's carrying down on the table, "Thought this was a single. Didn't know I was gonna have a bloody roommate."
Lindsey says he was checking in, "keeping tabs." He gets up and walks over to the table and takes a bottle of beer from the carton. He opens the bottle and tells Spike that's what he does.
As he lifts the bottle toward his mouth, Spike snatches it out of his hand. He drinks from it and tells Lindsey he doesn't need a baby-sitter.
Lindsey wonders if he's so prickly with all his friends.
Spike snipes, he's a softy on the inside.
Lindsey puts his hand to his head, claiming to have a vision.
Spike asks what that was about. He tells Lindsey not to expect him to jump every time he gets one of those.
Lindsey thinks he'll want to jump on this one.
In his bedroom, Angel crawls toward the phone. He manages to pull it off the table, rolls over onto his back and is attacked by the parasite which buries its fangs into his chest.
Angel finds himself in a recliner chair, sitting in a sunlit field, alone. He hears Fred say, "This is nice", looks up and sees her approach. Lorne, Gunn and Wes follow.
Wes tells him he can stay as long as he wants, forever.
Angel says no, there's a lot of work to do.
Gunn assures him they can handle it.
Angel is uncomfortable, he isn't supposed to be there.
Lorne tells him to let go, stop fighting, be free.
Angel argues, he's not finished yet.
Wes tells him he is if he wants to be.
Fred says it'll be fine, all he has to do is stop caring, just -- Her head snaps back as an ear piercing screech comes out of her mouth.
Wes, Gunn and Lorne follow suit.
In the penthouse bedroom, the parasite screeches as Spike pulls it off Angel's chest and smashes it against the wall. He reckons that'll be a mess to clean up.
Angel says his name.
Spike tells him no need for thanks, "Just helping the helpless." He walks away.
Wes comes out of the penthouse bedroom into the living room, reporting to the others gathered there, "It was a Selminth Parasite. Its teeth inject an anesthetic, making the host oblivious to its presence. You'd never know you had it on you. Pumps neurotoxins into the body causing paralysis, hallucinations, fever dreams."
Angel is sitting on the couch next to Fred, drinking blood. He says it felt real. He tells Fred she was dissecting him, taking things out of him, "and there was this .. bear." Angel notes Lorne tried to get him to sing then looks at Gunn, "You were big with the heckling."
Gunn isn't sure what to say, "Uh, sorry?"
Fred asks Wes what would have happened if the parasite had continued poisoning Angel.
Wes tells her he'd have been stuck in a permanent vegetative state.
Lorne reckons it's a good thing Spike saved the day but wonders how he even knew Angel was in trouble.
Angel mutters, he didn't say.
Gunn wants to know how the parasite got there.
Fred notes they're checking the firm's storage facilities to see if anything escaped.
Angel looks at Eve, "You. You brought it."
She denies that.
He knows she was there.
She insists it was only in his dreams.
Angel says she put the bigger one on him after he killed the first one.
Wes tells him there was only one.
Angel says no.
Wes suggests perhaps he's confusing reality with the hallucinations.
Angel gets to his feet and confronts Eve. He observes she changed her clothes, but she didn't change her earrings. She was wearing the same ones in his hallucination but he hasn't seen her for days.
She says she's worn them before, she's not responsible for how he dresses her in his fantasies.
Fred notes Eve did change her clothes and she's never seen those earrings before today.
Eve asks what it is they think she --
Angel doesn't know, but he figures the Senior Partners didn't give him the firm to have him turned into a vegetable. The others glare accusingly at Eve. Angel asks if she's playing her own game. He wonders what she thinks the Partners will do to her when they find out about her "extracurricular activities."
Eve is undaunted, "So, things aren't going your way and you're looking for someone outside your little circle to blame." She walks past him and toward the elevator, "Here's a thought, maybe you should try looking inward."
She steps onto the elevator and turns back toward the others, "Unless you don't like what you see."
The elevator doors slide shut.
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