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Buffy A-Z Dictionary

TALK ABOUT HELLMOUTHS!

The terms and definitions were taken from a Buffy Special Entertainment Weekly Magazine!

ANNE RICE ROUTINE Vampire-with-a-tortured-soul actor Episode

ANYWHERE BUT HERE Fantasy game where players imagine an Elsewhere to Be (e.g., Buffy fantasizes about Bush singer Gavin Rossdale massaging her feet on a beach at sunset; Willow would be eating ziti in Italy with John Cusack)

(THE) AWKWARD SILENCE THING Dating hazard

BACKSEAT MOTHERING Unsolicited advice from non-parent

BAT SIGNAL Slayer code for distress signal, a la Batman and Robin

(THE) BIG HURT Slayer force; murder ("No way, nohow does Buffy put the big hurt on an innocent man")

BOYFRIENDLY Worthy of dating exclusively

BREAK-AND-ENTERISH Comfortable slay wear

BUSINESS-CLASS TICKET TO COOL WITH COMPLIMENTARY MOJO AFTER TAKEOFF Benefits of being in a band, per Xander

CARBON DATED Beyond passe

(A) CARRIE Psycho prom moment in spirit of '76 horror flick

CHATTER IN THE CAF Widespread high school lunchroom gossip

CLOTHES FLUKE Kiss resulting from formal wear

COME AS YOU AREN'T Halloween

(THE) CREEPY Frightening ("How much the creepy is it that she's been spying on us?")

(THE) CRYPTIC Manner of speaking without imparting information ("Stop with the cryptic--you're scaring me")

CYBERCOVEN Wired witches

DATEVILLE Early stage of a relationship, between Big Fun Group Town and Romantic Twosome Burg

DEBARGE Dorky, rolled-up-sleeves look of person (or vampire) stuck in the '80s; reference to defunct Motown act

DECAF LAND Calm realm between Comaville and Speedtown

DID WE FIND? Shorthand for "Did you find?"

(THE) DIRE Urgent tone and expression ("What's the dire?")

DR. LAURA FOR THE DECEASED Demon therapist in spirit of radio shrink Laura Schlessinger

DUMP-O-GRAM Kiss-off

DUST Stake a vampire; form that demon takes at death

(AN) ELSEWHERE TO BE Another engagement far away

EVITA-LIKE Self-centered, arrogant (e.g., Cordelia)

FANG GANG Vampires; also, Nasty-Pointy-Bitey Ones

FESTER FREE State of being relieved of silent seething

FIRE BAD, TREE PRETTY Buffy demonstrating her low-level brain function after a draining battle

FIVE BY FIVE Feeling no pain; aviation radio term favored by Faith

FRAY ADJACENT In the vicinity of the thick of things

FREAKSOME Worrisome

A FREE Study hall

FRUIT-PUNCH MOUTH Vampire with a blood mustache

FULL-ON EXORCIST TWIST Ability to turn one's head 360 degrees, a la praying mantises or Linda Blair

GEEK MACHINE Joyce Summers' totally uncool Jeep

GEEKER JOY Effusive feeling nerdy Willow gets when she's happy

GENE AND ROGER Unsolicited criticism such as that given by movie critics Siskel and Ebert

GOD'S GIFT TO THE BELL CURVE Longhand for moron

GO WILD BUNCH Become violent vigilante group; reference to bloody 1969 Western

GOING WILLY LOMAN Raising money through selling of chocolate bars; reference to Death of a Salesman character

GOOD SQUIRM Satisfying level of discomfort ("I trust I gave good squirm")

GRANDFATHER BREATH Unpleasant aroma

(THE) GRIM Sullen faces; also Tragedy Masks

GUILTAPALOOZA Excessive-remorse festival

HANDY CARRYOUT PACKETS OF BLOOD IV transfusion bags

HAPPY MEALS WITH LEGS People (to vampires)

HAVE A NICE SUMMER Kiss-of-death yearbook sentiment written when signer has nothing to say

HAVING AN EXPRESSION Making a telltale face

HAVING ORS Considering options

HELEN KELLER An unobservant individual ("My eyes are hazel, Helen Keller")

HOOP-OF-THE-WEEK Obligatory yet needless task ("Principal Snyder's not happy unless I'm jumping through his hoop-of-the-week")

HORMONES ON PARADE Teenagers obsessed with kissing and groping

INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH THERAPY Intense counseling needed by adolescents who reconstruct people out of dead human parts

IT IS NOT TO WORRY The long way of saying "Don't worry"; also, "No worries"

JOAN COLLINS 'TUDE Persona of someone bucking for Bitch of the Year; reference to Dynasty diva

JOHN TESH The devil

KEYSER SOZED Duped by an actual bad guy into believing in a villain that doesn't exist; reference to imaginary character in the film The Usual Suspects ("Does anybody else feel like they've been Keyser Sozed?")

(THE) KIND OF SENSE THAT'S NOT Without logic

KINKS OR VANILLA? Query regarding someone's preference for naughty or nice sex

KISSING DAYLIGHT Vampire death by sunrise

LAURA ASHLEY Major fashion faux pas; reference to frilly, floral fashion designer

LOCKER-DOOR MATERIAL Serious boyfriend who's earned spot in metal high school storage compartment

LOST WEEKENDING Getting drunk and losing track of time; reference to Billy Wilder film

LUNCHABLE Lip-smacking treat for the eyes (male); also, Salty Goodness;

MCPLASMAS Vampire fast food

MESSED Out of sorts ("It's not you; I just get messed sometimes")

MOM-AGED MITTS Joyce Summers' menopausal hands

MOVE FREE A chaste date lacking hanky-panky

MR. POINTY Good-luck slayer stake Kendra gives Buffy

MUSIC OF PAIN Tunes to sulk by; country music (e.g., Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces")

NA-NA-NA-NA-NA APPROACH TO BATTLE Taunting to victory

NAME-TAG PERSON Retail or fast-food employee; derogatory

OFFICE ROMANCE Illicit vampire/slayer love affair

OTHERWHERE Elsewhere; also, Someplace That's Away

OVERBITE Vampire ("Take a walk, overbite"); also, Creechy Face

OVERLY Excessively ("You're acting a little overly, aren't you?")

PATHETIC MUCH? Feeling sorry for yourself?

PINK RANGER Overzealous fighter (e.g., Kendra); reference to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

PLANET POCKET PROTECTOR Geek universe; place where Giles commonly dwells

POINTED TOOTH FAIRY Vampire prone to house calls

POINTY Worthwhile--in response to something being described as pointless ("Punishing myself like this is entirely pointy")

POOP THE PARTY Naysay ("I don't mean to poop the party here")

POWER-FREAKED Exponentially scared; see also (The) Wig

PRINCESS MARGARET Overly effeminate British male (e.g., Wesley)

RIDING THE MELLOW Enjoying quiet time

ROGAINE BOY Baldy

ROLLER BOY Unenlightened term for paraplegic (e.g., Spike in a wheelchair; also, Sit 'n' Spin)

SABRINA Teenage witch

SANITY FAIR A magazine Faith will not be gracing the cover of

SARCASTIC QUOTE MARKS In which the gang turns a visual cliche into a verbal one (e.g., mocking organized fun: "And I use sarcastic quote marks")

SCOOBY GANG Buffy and her slaying pals; reference to '70s TV cartoon Scooby-Doo; also, Undead Playgroup; Slayerettes

(TO) SCULLY Explain paranormal activity with scientific rationale; homage to Dana Scully of The X-Files ("I cannot believe that you of all people are trying to Scully me")

SINGLE WHITE FEMALED Have existence duplicated by an obsessive acquaintance in manner of Jennifer Jason Leigh/Bridget Fonda film (e.g., new-slayer-in-town Faith to Buffy)

SLAY-STUDY DOUBLE FEATURE Evening of killing and homework

SLICEAGE Death by slashing

SO Wonderful ("Isn't that so? Me and Owen!")

SOCK PUPPET OF LOVE Xander's right hand, which often fills in as his date on special occasions

SOYLENT GREEN Unrecognizable green stuff served in cafeteria; reference to 1973 sci-fi classic

SPARKAGE Romantic electricity

SPIDER SENSE Tingling sensation Buffy gets when something's up in demonville; reference to SpiderMan's intuition

TALENTLESS SHOW High school talent show

TINGLE MOMENT Exciting, chill-inducing event

TONY ROBBINS HYPEREFFICIENCY KICK Self-improvement in style of large-toothed infomercial master

TWINKIE DEFENSE Lame excuse; reference to a trial in which bad behavior was blamed on excessive consumption of cream-filled treat

TWOSOME OF CUTENESS Good couple (e.g., Miss Calendar and Giles)

(THE) UBERSUCK Major bummer

UNDEAD AMERICAN Politically correct term for vampire

UNLIFE Living (to the undead)

UP WITH PEOPLE Aroused in the presence of actual sex partner ("I'm up. I've just never been up with people before"); reference to do-gooding musical organization

VAMPIRE MEALS-ON-WHEELS Medical transport blood delivery

(THE) WACKY Crazy things ("Love makes you do the wacky")

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE HOTTIE/THE SEDUCTION Take note of a potential mate

'WALKER, TEXAS RANGER' Must-see TV for zombies

WAY 007 Sartorially James Bond (e.g., Wesley in a tux)

(THE) WHAT Obvious problem ("What's the what?")

(THE) WIG Creeps; omnipresent term favored by Scooby gang; usage: wigged, extra wig, (a fair) wiggins, maxi-wig

WOW POTENTIAL Possible sparkage

WRINKLIES Cojones; usually vulgar ("Any of you wanna test who's got the biggest wrinklies, step on up!")

(THE) ZEPPO Useless member of a group, in spirit of forgotten Marx Brother (e.g., Xander, according to Cordelia--like she's ever seen a Marx Brothers movie)

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