I shuffled to my front door slowly, Willow trailing behind me. Unlocking my door, I gestured for her to go in first. I followed her in and shut the door behind us, locking it. A slight, teasing smile passed over Willow's face as she noticed the deadbolt. I shrugged, not knowing what to say, or even if I was to say anything.
Willow sat down comfortably on my couch, showing no signs of nervousness. Why should she?, I reasoned. She'd been in my home several times over the last five years. And we were friends. It wasn't as if she had any *reason* to feel uneasy. I walked into the kitchen. "Would you like something to drink?"
She nodded. "Mm. A martini would be nice." I smiled, surprised, but walked over to the bar instead and mixed the drink quickly anyway. Though Willow's twentieth birthday had just past, she was old enough to know the consequences of alcohol. It wasn't as if I hadn't been drinking much more, much younger than she.
Walking back to the couch, I handed her the drink and watched her mouth as she sipped it delicately. She had wonderful lips... I should the thought out of my head before I allowed it to take root. I was convinced that I was being a complete fool to let her stay with me. She looked up at me and giggled. The sound stirred my heart and I met her gaze.
"Giles, you look all glazed over, like you're not even here. Where are you?" She laughed.
"Oh, I'm here. I'm most definitely... Here." I gulped down my drink in one swallow. Her eyes followed me.
"Okay, so what do you want to do until it happens?"
"What?" I blurted. "Oh, ah... I suppose we could watch a little of the television." She nodded, smiling.
"Great! Dawson's Creek is on tonight." She continued to talk about the characters of the show, and the plots involved, but I was so busy looking at her that I didn't really listen. "...Do you have cable?"
"Um, yes, basic." I answered, confused at the change in subject.
"Oh, good. I would hate to not have the WB. Except for the frog," she added with a wrinkled nose. I laughed at the utterly charming look on her face. I wondered if she even knew how pretty she was.
Turning on the tv, we settled back against the couch. I threw my arm over the back of it, leaning back, and Willow leaned slightly against me. I gulped and sighed, knowing that she did it because I was some sort of father figure in her life.
A half hour later, I was completely caught up in the show she was "addicted" to.
I woke with a start. Glancing blearily at the clock above the mantle, I noticed that it was almost five in the morning. Willow shifted and sighed, and I looked down at her, a grin appearing unbidden on my face.
My arms were wrapped around her shoulders, and her little hands tucked on either side of my waist. Her cheek was pressed firmly to my chest, and I could feel the soft trembles that shook her body. I gently sat up, concerned. I should have thought ahead. It could get so cold in my house. How inhospitable of me.
Adjusting my arms, I lifted her as though she was a child and carried her up the stairs to the guest room. After taking off her shoes, I settled her gently into bed. Nothing had happened that night, so I figured that nothing would. I had been allowed to sleep peacefully. Sighing, I tucked the blankets around her shoulders and turned away. Before I could move, though, her strong little arm reached out and wound itself around one of my legs.
I chuckled softly, leaning down to disengage myself. With my head near hers, she opened her eyes a little and reached out again, trapping her fingers through my hair. I sat on my knees as our gazes locked. Slowly, deliberately, she pulled my head toward hers. Our lips touched. Hers were sleep-warmed and soft, but she opened them eagerly for my tongue.
My senses were in a jumble. One part was telling me that it was immoral to take advantage of her, she wasn't really awake, after all. The other part-- The louder part-- was telling me that she saw me through the slits in her eyes, that it was me she was kissing, me she wanted. Our tongues dueled angrily, and Willow tugged me onto the bed eagerly. I fell on top of her, not breaking contact with her mouth. Her hands slid down my back.
Suddenly she went limp in my arms and my eyes popped open. I looked at her. She was snoring.
Stifling a laugh and a sigh, I got up from the bed and went to the room to... calm myself down. After lying in bed a few moments, I shut my eyes. Quietness overtook the room, and again I felt the same heaviness in my limbs, felt them being rearranged to hold Jenny in my arms.
I looked down at her impish smile. "England, I'm sorry I didn't show up sooner, but you didn't seem to miss me." Her words held the unmistakable trace of bitterness. "Lucky for both of us, I got here in time and was able to put her out before you two did something you would have regretted." I looked at her, shocked, and she seemed to remember something.
"Of course, I love Willow. And I know you're lonely. But think about it, Rupert. Think about how embarrassing tomorrow would have been. Aren't you glad you have me now? I can come to you every night like this," she crooned enticingly in my ear. I flinched at her words.
"Jenny, how did you get here?" My voice was sharp and it was her turn to flinch.
"I already told you. I dreamed it, you dreamed it, it happened." She shrugged noncommittally. I was growing angry at her.
"Don't lie to me," I spit out, shocking both of us with my harsh tone. I was angry at her-- For dying and leaving me, even though I knew it wasn't her fault, but also for coming back just when my heart had started to heal. My voice lowered to a whisper. "Do you want me to hurt forever, Jenny?"
She looked up at me, her black eyes glittering with tears, making them look like onyx. Leaning up, she kissed me gently, and then again with more ardor. "Never. But we don't have to think about this now. We can just feel... Oh, Rupert. Weren't there times when you wished for this? Why can't it be this simple?" She sighed, her hand sliding under the covers to rest on my waist.
There was no denying that I wanted her. But more and more, when I pictured someone's face, it wasn't hers. And that hurt me, but it was an inevitable fact of life. I didn't want to be dead. I still wanted to feel things-- No matter how vulnerable it made me. I tightened my arms around her, unsure of what to say. She nestled her face against me, her mouth moving softly on my skin.
"Yes," I said haltingly. "It can. But this isn't how I want it. I don't want to see you only in bed. Jenny, there were so many things I would love to have done with you...." I trailed off at the feel of her lips on my neck. She kissed my mouth again and I responded helplessly, kissing her back. My breath came faster.
I leaned down to trace her collarbone with my tongue. She tasted wonderful, and arched her back, purring like a cat. I smiled, my thoughts of protest already drifting away. I groaned at the feel of her hands on my body. Jenny smiled wickedly at me.
A gasp startled me out of my ministrations. Jenny and I both turned to look at the door. Willow stood there, her hair tousled by sleep, shock and hurt covering her face. I stumbled back on the bed and turned my head from one woman to the other, confused at who I should go to. A few tears slipped from Willow's eyes and I made up my mind.
As I started to get out of bed, a light overwhelmed the room, blinding me, almost like an explosion. I threw myself on top of Willow, shielding her body with my own as Jenny dissipated into light. A voice echoed around the room. *I love you, Rupert. I love you....*
I slowly climbed off of Willow who was staring at me like I betrayed her. I was unable to meet her eyes, knowing that that's exactly what I did, even if she didn't realize the full extent of it. My lips burned in memory of the kiss from earlier. We finally locked eyes for a long, long moment.
And then she fled from the room.