Summary: Giles has to learn to deal with his past heartbreak and move on. Set a few years in the future.
Spoilers: All, but especially for Passion.
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, no matter how much I wish they were.  <sigh> They belong to Joss Whedon and the WB I have to live with borrowing them for my stories.
Rating: PG
Thanks to: Laura for her love of this couple. How could I not try and write them? And Tracy-- Maybe the ending will melt all that snow for ya! :)

Ghosts was a 1999 Golden Frog Award nominee in the category of Best Representation of a Character Other than Willow Rosenberg for the representation of Giles.

I woke up, startled, at the whisper of air on my skin. Looking around and seeing no one there, I settled back against my pillows and closed my eyes. My mind wouldn't shut down, though; I felt an uneasiness in the room. I couldn't sleep.

After nearly an hour of tossing and turning, I got up with a sigh. Maybe it was just that Watcher's weren't supposed to sleep. I didn't know. Pouring myself a drink of amber fluid, I walked over the the bookshelf and pulled down several volumes that would keep me occupied. It was becoming my nightly ritual, something that I had done almost every night in the two years since Jenny died.

Life had been relatively simple before that. As simple as one can claim life to be on the Hellmouth. I had friends for the first time in years, people who helped me and put themselves on the line for others. I had someone who was like a daughter. I knew by then that I would never have a daughter of my own, so I liked to think of Buffy as such. I had Jenny. She filled my quiet existence with light and sound, music and colors and textures and every angle imaginable.

And then, with one night, my life changed. I found out that Jenny had been lying to me, I had to accept the weight of Buffy's life, and we all had to put ourselves on guard against someone we had learned to trust with our lives.

Sometimes I think that if Buffy had just killed him that night, so long ago, none of the rest would have happened.

Which is true, I suppose, to some extent, but it's unfair of me to think it. If Jenny had turned against me, I don't doubt that I would have acted in the exact same manner as Buffy did. I don't let the blame fall on anyone anymore. We've all come too far for that.

Since they, who fancy themselves as the Slayer and Slayerettes, graduated from high school last year, it's been a little harder to work around the evils of the Hellmouth. We do still meet frequently in the library for meetings and study sessions and the occasional demon or two. They all, trying to make it easier, have decided to attend the junior college here. Which does help, though I admit that I feel bad at the thought of some of them not fulfilling their potential to stay and care for me.

Especially Willow. She's like a star among the faces I have grown to love. I see her everyday, working on things entirely under her, and I want to tell her that I'm sorry. But apologies are useless. So are the feelings about her that I try to avoid.

My heart is still faithful to Jenny. But it was becoming harder to remember.

Spending hours sitting and leaning over books exhausted me finally and I headed back to my bed around 5:30 in the morning. I still had an hour or so before I had to wake up. As I settled under my covers, I felt the uneasiness of the room fade away and be replaced with a measure of peace.

My eyes drifted shut easily then, and I could feel my breathing slow and my heartbeat become even. I thought of Jenny... She always made my heart fall into the right place. So soothing was she, that before sleep I would pretend she was actually there, in my arms, resting her head against my shoulder. I was on that delicious, warm edge of sleep when something stole me away from it.

Warmth invaded my body, seeping through my veins as if I had been injected with something. I felt my limbs relax and though my heart was beating quickly with sudden fear, I couldn't move. My arms rearranged themselves and I found them around something. I regained control over my movements and looked down.

Raven hair. The light of the moon in my window created a blue sheen on the silky hair that was brushing my chin. My heartbeat accelerated further. A sigh from her, the woman that I was holding in my arms finally enticed me out of my stupor and I moved, taking my arms away from her obviously naked shoulders. She squirmed against me, and I still could not see her face.

But I knew who she was.

When I didn't put my arms back around her, Jenny looked up with sleepy indignance. My eyes popped open in shock and she looked at me in concern. Taking my face in her hands, hands so real and soft they couldn't be a dream, she looked at me.

"Rupert." Her voice shook my ears and my blood throbbed hotly in my face. "Rupert. It's okay. You dreamed me, here I am," she murmured, as if that explained everything.

"B-but Jenny.... I've dreamed you so many times since you d- since you left. Why now? *How?*" My voice was shaky.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. Her voice dipped. "But I'm here. Thank you." Taking her hands away from my face she looked down at them and gave a little laugh. "I've often dreamed of this myself, you know."

Suddenly her warm flesh began to move against mine. Disposing of the t shirt I was wearing in one quick gesture, she snuggled against me and I felt my skin heat up at the feel of her chest grazing my own. She rolled me on top of her and gave a sound that was a mix between a laugh and a sigh.

Not knowing what else to do, I kissed her softly. Then, with more of a hunger, I kissed her again and again with growing passion. She sucked my lower lip between her teeth and chewed on it gently. I growled softly at the feelings incited in me.

Jenny raked her nails down my bare back gently and I kissed her with even more intensity. My hands moved of their own accord, my calloused fingers finding comfort in the softness of her skin.

I ran my hands along the length of her body. Her back and stomach were warm, hot really. She sighed at the warmth of my touch, and her skin seemed to glow an unearthly white as her breath sped up and her heartbeat increased.

After a moment, her dark eyes opened and met mine evenly. She nodded with a smile, letting me know that she wanted what I did. Her arms and legs opened for me. My pajama bottoms seemed to dissolve into the sheets and suddenly I was against her, her skin brushing mine and urging me further.

Stiffening against me, she found a smile. I was moved to near tears at the look of love and concentration on her face as she moved against me. This was what I wanted. What I had wanted for years, this kind of love. I shook away the feeling that something was missing.

Our movements became hurried, frantic, until neither of us could hold on anymore. We finished together in a flash of lights, lights of pure white and gold and silver. Colors that I had never seen amazed me as we held each other.

I collapsed on top of her limply. Disengaging from her, I settled her into my arms and heard her whisper. "Let's talk tomorrow."

I smiled. "Yes," I answered, agreeing. We drifted into sleep.

The sun warmed my face and I jerked awake. Reaching over to where Jenny had been a few hours ago, I found nothing but a mattress covered in sweaty, tangled sheets. She wasn't there. Looking down at my nude body, I knew she *had* been, though, so I called out.

"Jenny?"

Silence answered me.

CONTINUE