Title: You Forgot To Mention Hell, Horatio
Author: JR
Email: JRR42@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13 for language.
Status: Complete
Warnings: Nope. Not this time.
Category: Crossover with Highlander
Disclaimer: All other characters belong to their respective owners and are used without permission. This story is not intended to infringe upon any copyrights, nor is any profit being made from it.
This is what happens when you get involved with too many different fandoms.
Universe setting: For you Highlander fans, this story takes place sometime after ‘Archangel’ (sorry to all those Richie Forever people). Please forgive me for playing with the timelines of the shows, but hey, it’s fan-fic and I can do that ;-)
Thanks: As always, to Carrie, and to Marius, the oak and the ash to my birds in the forest.

Dressed in the same blond wig that Cordy had worn earlier, Willow kept her head down as she slipped through the crowds. Her clothing, a non-descript outfit of blue jeans, an oversized chambray shirt, and a denim jacket, helped her to remain just another person in the throng of people doing a little weekend shopping. Timing her movements carefully, she did her best to remain unseen when she headed down one of the little-used access corridors of the Sunnydale mall. As she walked, she removed a pair of plastic hospital gloves from her pocket and surreptitiously donned them.

Keeping an eye out for any stray mall employees that might be wandering around, Willow kept walking until she reached one of the dumpsters provided for the various chain stores to dispose of their garbage. Fortuitously, this one was filled to overflowing with flattened, discarded cardboard boxes. Smiling at her luck, Willow reached into the pocket of the jacket and withdrew a smoke-bomb. With a quick prayer that she not get caught, perennial good girl Willow Rosenburg released the trigger mechanism and threw the bomb into the dumpster. Turning to the wall, she took a deep breath and pulled the bright red handle of the nearby fire alarm. Because it was a public location, the fire station Adam, Oz, and Xander were watching would automatically be dispatched to respond to the call.

As she ran down the increasingly smoke-filled corridor, Willow tried not to think about the fact that, for the first time in her life, she had just committed a felony.

“Seven?” Xander asked back at the warehouse a short time later. They were sorting through the equipment they had just stolen while they waited for Willow. “Pretty smart thinking, grabbing an extra one just in case.”

“Actually, that’s not an extra,” Adam admitted. “It’s for Angel.” ‘In case he survives the initial assault,’ the Immortal added mentally.

“Hey guys, did it work?” Willow asked excitedly as she entered the dilapidated building. Scratching along her hairline, she finally gave up and pulled the wig from atop her head. “God, this *itches*.”

“Mission accomplished,” Oz assured, accompanied by Xander humming the theme from ‘Mission: Impossible.”

“Did you get what I asked for?” Adam inquired of Willow.

“Yes, it’s all out in my mom’s car. And before you ask, I went to the Old Navy store before I headed over to the mall. And I paid in cash, like you told me to.”

“Good,” the Immortal said simply before turning back to his work.

“So what’s next?” Willow questioned a short time later. Adam suspected that she was just making conversation, since she probably already had the entire plan memorized.

“Willow, you head back to the house, get another hour or two of sleep if you can. Since it’s your house, would you mind arranging a meal for everybody around seven? Let the others sleep while you handle dinner. And make it something filling, but not too heavy on the stomach,” the Immortal instructed. The last thing he wanted was for the teenagers to be lethargic after a huge meal. Turning his attention to the two boys, he spoke to them. “This truck is almost empty. Oz, you said you had experience driving something like this, right? Good. There’s an open storm drain about halfway down the block. Put on those two City Works shirts and take the truck outside. Pump the extra water into the sewer – and make sure the tank is *completely* empty. When you’re done, head back home for some rest. The next part of this is all up to me. Barring any problems, I should be back in about two and a half hours.” With a heavy sigh, the Immortal headed for the door.

“May the force be with you,” Xander called.

Adam nodded in acknowledgement. At this point, he would take any help he could get.

St. Michael’s Catholic Church was completely still as Adam entered. Then again, he reasoned, with no small amount of amusement, churches were usually quiet. For a man who didn’t believe in any type of higher power, Adam certainly spent a great deal of time on Holy Ground. It was part and parcel of his life as an Immortal.

Moving over to a vestibule, Adam occupied himself by lighting a candle while he took a minute to scope out the church. Feeling sentimental, he offered a small prayer for the safety of Duncan MacLeod and Joe Dawson. After all, he might as well cover all his bets, just in case something out there *was* actually listening.

Moments later, a woman emerged from behind the curtain of a confessional. Keeping her head down, she slid into a nearby pew and began to pray. At present, she was the only other person visible in the church.

Seizing the opportunity, Adam made his way across the church and slipped into the darkened booth.

‘Catholics,’ Adam groused to himself as he sat down on the uncomfortable wooden seat. ‘Always going overboard on the concept of penance.’

“Yes, my son?”

‘What?’ Adam thought, startled out of his musings. ‘Oh, right. Catholic. Let’s see if I can remember how this goes.’

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” Adam said out loud. ‘Oh, how I have sinned,’ he thought to himself. “It’s been about…a hundred years…since my last confession.”

“Surely it hasn’t been as long as all that for a young man like yourself,” the old priest chuckled, catching a blurred view of the ‘younger’ man through the intricate carvings of the wooden screen that divided the confessional.

“Oh, you might be surprised how old a person can feel, Father,” the Immortal smiled.

“What sins have you to confess, my son?”

“Actually, I’m not here to confess, Father,” he admitted.

“Oh?”

“Actually, I need your help, Father,” Adam requested.

“And what kind of help might that be, my son?” The priest’s voice was full of caution, along with more than a hint of curiosity.

“It’s nothing illegal, or even immoral,” Adam assured. “It’s just…unusual, and terribly important.”

“Important,” the priest reiterated. “How so?”

There was a moment’s pause as Adam calculated just how much he should reveal. Finally, he reached his conclusion.

“How long have you been in Sunnydale, Father?”

“Well, I was sent to St. Michael’s seven years ago.”

“So then you’ve been here for awhile,” the Immortal prompted.

“I guess you could say that,” the priest agreed.

“Long enough for you to…notice…some of the strange things that happen in this town?”

“Strange? I’m…not…sure I know what you mean,” the Father answered with obvious reservation.

“Oh, come now, as a man of the cloth, surely you must be aware that Sunnydale isn’t like other places,” Adam gently accused. “A lot of people seem to die around here, don’t they? But they don’t seem to stay down for long, do they? And they certainly don’t seem to have much appreciation for the church, or the cross, either.”

“I…see…”

“Don’t worry, Father,” Adam reassured, “what I’m asking you isn’t dangerous and it won’t get you in trouble with any…higher authorities. And you’ll be helping in the fight against a great evil.”

“I…I’m…”

“Please, Father,” the Immortal’s tone was almost pleading. “We need your assistance. I’ll even make a donation to your new Bible fund if that will help.” ‘Hell, I’ll even autograph them for you,’ he added to himself sardonically.

“What exactly is it that you would want me to do?” the priest asked reluctantly.

‘Gotcha!’ Adam thought.

Twenty minutes after swapping the trucks back at the warehouse, Adam Pierson found himself heading all the way to the very outskirts of Sunnydale in the vehicle who’s tank Oz and Xander had recently drained. Thanks to a detailed set of directions thoughtfully provided by Willow, the Immortal had no trouble in finding his last destination of the afternoon: The Goodtaste Snack Cakes factory.

It was ironic that the key to defeating the Legion would be found at this plant; one that made over twenty percent of all the Moon Pies and Sno Balls sold in the State of California. In all actuality, there were several other food manufacturers that would have been more convenient for the Immortal location-wise, but the Goodtaste site had one unique advantage over the other production plants being considered: it was completely shut down on Sundays.

‘God bless religious, family-run businesses,’ Adam chortled to himself. Nevertheless, he still had work to do.

Even though the factory production line was closed, it did not necessarily mean the place would be totally deserted. According to the phone call he received from Willow a half an hour ago, Adam could expect to encounter at least two security guards, as well as some guard dogs.

As he drove past the main entrance, the Immortal allowed his thoughts to drift to the red-headed teenager. She was a spitfire -- he would certainly give her that. Restless and unable to sleep when she returned home from her adventure in the mall, Willow had occupied herself by tracking down as much information as she could find on the Goodtaste company via her computer. Using payroll records, she’d been able to estimate just how many guards would be on hand, and the emergency fire-contingency plans the company was required to file with the county provided the exact location of the site. The girl was good. If he decided to attempt world domination again in the next thirty years or so, Adam would definitely want to have her on his team.

Turning the truck off onto a service road, the Immortal forced his thoughts back to the matter at hand. Given the layout of the place, Adam decided to park the truck, go in on foot, and take out the guards and dogs first before anyone had an opportunity to call the police. Of course, killing the guards outright would have be the easiest way to go. However, with all the illegal activities they had undertaken that day, the odds that the bodies could potentially be traced back to either himself or the kids were too great for Adam to risk it. No, it was going to have to be done the hard way.

Stifling a sigh, the Immortal opened the door and exited the cab of the truck. After all, the quicker he got this part out of the way, the more time he would have to nap before the fun *really* began later that night.




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