The Watcher: 1.8 Homecoming Hell: Act II
by gumboy
ACT II

INT. BRIDAL SHOPPE
Liv is wearing a very pink and very poofy dress. She looks in
the mirror and frowns.

LIV
How am I supposed to hide a battle axe in
this?

One of the shopkeepers gives Liv a weird look. Lucy and Maya
share a look together.

LUCY
Sweetie. Ixnay on the Axe-ay. I'll... I'll
try and find something more... I can't
believe I'm saying this... battle ready.

Lucy shakes her head and goes to forage

LIV
This is crazy. I can't fight in this.

MAYA
Well you can't show up to homecoming in your
fatigues and combat boots.

LIV
I can't wear my combat boots?

MAYA
How can you be so smart, yet so fashion
impaired?

LIV
I think that gene skips a generation.
(looks at dress and sighs in frustration)
Oh I can't stand this thing. I've got to get
out of it.

Liv goes into the dressing room to change. We stick with Maya
as she hangs outside the door.

MAYA
You know, you don't have to go with Brad.

LIV(OS)
Wouldn't it be social suicide if I didn't go
with him?

MAYA
Since when did you care what other people
think about you?

LIV(OS)
I've always cared what other people think
about me. You're the socially ambivalent
one.

MAYA
Liv, all these snooty people you are talking
about are bottom feeders. Brad included.

LIV(OS)
On some basic level I know that. But the
geek in me lives and dies on their social
acceptance.

MAYA
Can't we just get the dance canceled?

Lucy walks up with a bunch of dresses and throws them over the
dressing room door.

LUCY
Try these on kiddo.
(To Maya)
We thought about that. Xander called the
school and short of a bomb scare nothing is
going to derail the homecoming machine.

LIV(OS)
Besides if we don't know who this guy is,
how am I supposed to protect him if he's at
home?

MAYA
So what do we do?

LUCY
Well... Xander and I are going as chaperons
so if there's a problem...

MAYA
We have some adults with demon slaying
experience.

LUCY
Well one adult. And another with medical
training.

LIV(OS)
Mom?! Are you kidding me with this dress?!

Lucy looks over the door.

LUCY
You've got it on backwards, dear.

MAYA
This is going to be a very long day.

LUCY
We haven't even bought heels yet.

LIV(OS)
I have to wear heels?!

Maya and Lucy share an exasperated sigh.

INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - KITCHEN

Jordy is pulling out one of his funky looking bottles out of
the refrigerator as Xander is looking over some blueprints.
Jordy pops open the bottle, takes a drink and makes a face.

XANDER
Taste good?

JORDY
Mmmm... feet.

XANDER
You okay living in the basement? I'm sorry,
it's not in better condition...

JORDY
Nah. It's all good. Has that rustic waterstained
feel to it. I'll make it my own.
It's waking up next to a puppet I have a
problem with.

Xander chuckles.

XANDER
Yeah. Still freaks me out too.

JORDY
What are you looking at?

XANDER
Blueprints for the gym. Just want to make
sure I know all the entrances, exits and...
whatnot.
(sighs and rubs his eye)
Are you sure you want to go to this thing?

JORDY
If it was just a school event, maybe I'd
bail. Now that it's an odd squad thing...

XANDER
That doesn't mean you have to go.

JORDY
Why the parental concern?

XANDER
The guy this consul is looking for... he's
supposed to have this "talent" or "ability".

JORDY
Thinking it's the werewolf thing, huh?

XANDER
Maybe.

JORDY
Well then if it's going down, it's either
here in the basement or a gym with lots of
exits.

XANDER
Yeah.

JORDY
Plus, you know, I've got some werewolfy
tricks up my sleeve.

XANDER
You can do a partial transformation?

JORDY
Sometimes.

XANDER
Sometimes?

JORDY
(smiles)
Might want to have a tazer or a tranq gun
with you.

XANDER
Well, I'm just chock full of confidence now.

JORDY
Hey. It's homecoming. What could go wrong?

XANDER
You just totally doomed us by saying that.
You realize that right?

Jordy smiles and takes another swig of his potion.

JORDY
Ahh. Feet.
(Heads towards main part of room)
Pongo. Give me the remote, the "OC" is on.

Xander shakes his head and starts going over the blueprints one
more time.

INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM

Maya is sitting on the couch reading the magazine dressed up
for homecoming. Lucy, also nicely dressed, runs down the stairs
and grabs a sewing repair kit.

MAYA
What happened?

LUCY
Liv tried to stow a couple of stakes in her
dress. Time for a quick fix.

MAYA
Oh. Anything I can do?

LUCY
Don't you think you've done enough?

MAYA
(sheepish)
Sorry.

LUCY
Well on the plus side, my daughter is going
to homecoming with the most popular boy in
school.

MAYA
Which is destined to be overrun with the
demonic population of Cape Kenneth.

LUCY
That would be the downside. And to give
credit where credit is due... not your
fault.

Suddenly we hear some thumps and a crashing noise.

LIV(OS)
Mom!!

LUCY
(sighs)
Should have given her more time to practice
wearing heels.

The doorbell rings as Lucy runs upstairs.

LUCY(OS)
Maya will you get that?

Maya walks to and opens the door. She looks out the door and is
surprised by what she sees.

MAYA
Well slap my ass and call me Judy.

ANGLE ON: Doorway.

Xander is there wearing a suit and tie for work, but the real
shocker is Jordy wearing a nicely tailored and spiffy suit. His
hair however is still... a mess.

XANDER
Jordy and I had a little talk about his
appearance.

JORDY
Apparently there is this thing called an
"iron"? I think it's the next fad. All the
kids will be using it.

MAYA
I think it's a bad idea that you two are
living together.

XANDER
Is Liv upstairs? I need to go over our game
plan.

MAYA
If your game plan includes Zoloft, please...
go upstairs.

Xander and Jordy laugh as they walk into the house Xander goes
upstairs as Jordy and Maya head into the living room.

JORDY
Got you something here

Jordy tosses a small plastic box to Maya

MAYA
What's this?

JORDY
Corsage. Apparently they're all the rage at
these dances.

MAYA
Really? It's very nice. Do you want to pin
it on me?

JORDY
That depends on how many scars you want on
your chest.

MAYA
I think I'll take care of it.

Heads off into other room as the doorbell rings.

MAYA
Can you get that?

Jordy opens the door and finds Brad, dressed for homecoming and
a scowl on his face.

JORDY
Brad.

BRAD
Loser.

Brad walks into the house sullenly. Jordy shrugs off the
insult.

JORDY
Problem?

BRAD
Other than having to be in the same room
with you? It's one thing to train that freak
of nature. That's a job. This? This is a
dork outreach program gone awry.

JORDY
You know what? Could care less what you
think of me. As for Liv... Bit of advice: Be
nice and show her a good time.

BRAD
Or what?

Jordy bears his teeth and lets out a guttural and evil sounding snarl.

Brad blanches, takes a reflexive step back and tries to summon
some kind of bravado.

BRAD
Think you can scare me?

JORDY
Don't need to.

MAYA(OS)
Good thing you're wearing a dark suit
Bradley.

Brad turns to see Maya, who apparently has watched the entire
exchange.

MAYA
Just remember, if you upset Liv in any
way... Well, after I'm done with you, Jordy
won't have much to deal with.

Brad scoffs and quickly jumps again as Jordy lets off another
growl. Maya walks over and stands beside Jordy.

BRAD
I don't have to put up with you freaks.

MAYA
Well... you do. Just for tonight. Got it,
Valentine?

Brad looks at the both of them and nods his head as Xander
comes down the stairs.

MAYA
Excellent.

XANDER
All right! Looks we're all set.

BRAD
You're coming too?

XANDER
Chaperon at the dance. Liv will be down in
just a second.
(takes Maya and Jordy aside)
You two know what to do tonight?

MAYA
We're on it.

LUCY(OS)
Here she comes!

ANGLE ON: Staircase as Liv walks down it.

Honestly? It's a transformation. No Glasses. Hair and make up
done up all perfectly. Gorgeous dress. All in all: Geek to
Sheik. Liv slowly walks down the stairs and is all smiles. So
is Maya and Xander. Jordy is quite amazed. Brad... well he
barely notices.

JORDY
Wow.

MAYA
Not bad, huh? We did good work.

JORDY
Laney Boggs and Eliza Doolittle were good
work. She's something else entirely.

Liv stands in front of Brad and smiles.

LIV
Hi Brad.

BRAD
(Barely polite)
You look nice.

Brad hands her a corsage. Liv titters, adjusts her footing and
quickly drops to the ground out of sight. Maya sighs. Lucy
comes down the steps, looks down at her daughter and sighs.

LUCY
Should have given her more time with the
heels.

END ACT II

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