The Watcher: 1.8 Homecoming Hell: Act I
by gumboy
TEASER

INT. DOUBLEMEAT PALACE - DAY

CLERK
(monotone)
Welcome to DoubleMeat Palace. How can I help
you?

Xander stands in front of the counter dressed in his normal
suit and tie.

XANDER
(reading off a piece of paper)
I'll have two double sized medley meals,
extra pickles. Two classic double decker
meals, extra pickles, hold the sauce. A
fisherman's medley with bacon. Three cherry
pies and a diet coke.

CLERK
(monotone)
Would you like a complimentary cholesterol
test with that sir?

Xander looks at the clerk with a wary look.

XANDER
Was... Was that a joke?

CLERK
Huh?

XANDER
Never mind.

EXT. ALLEY BESIDE THE DOUBLEMEAT PALACE
Xander steps into the alley and nervously looks around.

XANDER
Clem?

CLEM (OS)
(Whispering)
Over here.

Xander steps back further into the shadows and shakes hands
with everybody's favorite Loose Skinned Demon.

XANDER
Clem. How you doing?

CLEM
Pretty good. You missed last night's poker
game.

XANDER
You win big?

CLEM
Almost two entire litters. I don't know how
I'm going to feed them.

Xander gives him a look of surprise.

CLEM
What? You didn't think I ate them did you?

XANDER
Well... You do have that creature of the
night thing going for you.

CLEM
Nah. That's not my style. I'm a strictly a
"Bugles" and "Country Time Lemonade" kind of
guy. Listen, did you get my...

Xander hands over the DoubleMeat bag. Clem starts rummaging
through the bag and pulls out a deep fried cherry pie and gives
it a good sniff.

CLEM
Oh, ho... Shiny.

XANDER
What have you heard?

Clem delivers the next few lines while eating the cherry pie
and talking with his mouth full. Most likely a scary sight to
behold.

CLEM
At the game last night, one of the demons
was talking about the Consul.

Xander perks up at this.

XANDER
"The Consul" as in "The Consul" the Vizier
was working for?

CLEM
Apparently. Word on the street is that
something big is coming down.

XANDER
Like what?

CLEM
They're going after a kid at St. Bufalari's.
Apparently he's part of the "something big".

XANDER
"He"?

CLEM
Apparently he has some sort of special
talent or quality that they are interested
in. What that is, I don't know.

XANDER
Do you know when?

INT. CONSUL SANCTUM
The three red-hooded figures stand in their standard triangle
formation. The Vizier stands to the side, now wearing an eye
patch as a result of his last battle with Liv.

CONSUL #1
In three days time, our plan will come to
fruition.

CONSUL #2
All the elements are in place. Every point
of failure has been or will be eliminated.

VIZIER
What about the slayer and her watcher?

CONSUL #3
They will be too... distracted to save our
future champion.

CONSUL #1
On the night of the new moon, you will
gather your forces to claim our champion and
release the monster within him.

VIZIER
And where will I be taking these "forces"
and who exactly will we be "claiming"?

INT. ST. BUFALARI'S HALLWAY
Jordy, Maya and Liv are by their lockers. Brad and Vanessa man
a booth underneath a big banner which we can't read.

JORDY
Homecoming? Why would I want to go to
homecoming?

END TEASER

ACT I

INT. ST. BUFALARI SCHOOL - HALLWAY
Jordy is leaning up against the lockers as Maya and Liv
exchange books from their respective lockers.

JORDY
Homecoming? I mean... I'm not really a
school event kind of guy. If there was an
un-event, I'd be there. But...

MAYA
Are you kidding? Jordy, you have to go. The
cheerwenches are all planning on wearing
matching outfits. We're talking prime mockfest
material.

JORDY
Well, I do enjoy a good mock-fest. What
about you Liv?

LIV
I... I don't have a date.

MAYA
So we'll do the group thing. We'll find you
a pretty dress, give you a little
makeover...

LIV
What's wrong with the way I look?

MAYA
Nothing. I'm talking about getting gussied
up. Looking prettier than normal.

JORDY
Nothing better than being gussied.

LIV
It's just...

Maya lets out a heavy sigh.

MAYA
We're not going to have that "Prince
Charming" talk again. Please I beg you.

JORDY
Prince Charming?

LIV
It's just if I'm going to go I just want it
to be... with someone.

JORDY
I'll be your date.

LIV
But you're a friend... It's not the same. No
offense.

JORDY
I don't think I can be offended.

MAYA
(sighs)
Forget it Jordy, she's got this whole
screwy-teenage-romantic comedy thing in her
head and she won't shake it loose.

JORDY
So no homecoming for Liv?

LIV
Not unless a miracle occurs.

ANGLE ON: VANESSA AND BRAD
Behind them is a big banner that says "Win a date with Brad
Valentine". A big jar filled with thousands of tickets sits on
a table beside them. Gobs of giddy cheerleaders surround them.

VANESSA
Okay ladies! Let's take out your raffle
tickets! Not too late to buy more! And
remember all proceeds goes to Lupe, our
sponsored child in Bolivia.

ANGLE ON:
Maya, Liv and Jordy. Liv is about to walk away, but Maya grabs
her arm.

MAYA
Oh hold on, I want to see this.

JORDY
What is it?

MAYA
The Brad Valentine Ho-fest. Every dance he
sells raffle tickets to the cheerleading
squad. That way the pig doesn't have to risk
social suicide by asking one girl in
particular.

JORDY
Huh.

LIV
What?

JORDY
For some reason I sense a hilarious hijinxey
situation approaching.

MAYA
Well, I did buy a ticket and put Olivia's
name on it.

LIV
Maya!

MAYA
Oh please... Like the one ticket they are
going to pull is...

VANESSA(OS)
(almost screaming)
Olivia Fontaine?!?!

ANGLE ON:
The entire cheerleading squad staring at Liv with crossed arms
and venomous looks in their eyes. Brad is dumbfounded.

ANGLE ON:
Liv. Eyes wide. Barely breathing. Maya stands stunned beside
her. Jordy shrugs.

JORDY
The hijinx ensues.

MAYA
Liv....? Say something, Liv.

LIV
(squeaking)
Eep.

GO TO BLACK

MAYA
Breathe, Liv. Breathe.

INT. FONTAINE HOUSE - KITCHEN

Lucy sits at the kitchen island massaging her temples. Maya
sits across from her with a guilty look on her face.

LUCY
Oh, Maya.... What have you done?!

MAYA
I was just goofing around I didn't think...

Liv bursts into the room in full panic mode.

LIV
I don't have a dress! I have to patrol! I...
I... I... can't... but...

LUCY
Sweetie...

Liv turns a shade of green and runs out of the room.

MAYA
Wow...

LUCY
She hasn't thrown up this much since the
fourth grade spelling bee.

MAYA
Didn't she have to get an IV?

LUCY
Poor kid was dehydrated for weeks.

Liv comes back into the room holding her stomach.

LIV
Mom...

MAYA
Liv, you don't have to do this.

LIV
I don't?

LUCY
No sweetie. I don't think it's a good idea.

LIV
I don't have to go?

MAYA
Not if you don't want to.

Lucy kicks Maya under the table.

MAYA
Ow! I mean no. You don't have to go.

LIV
Are you sure?

LUCY
It's not a like it's a legal obligation.

LIV
But it's... it's... him.

MAYA
I'm sorry Liv. I should have never put your
name down.

Liv sits down at the kitchen island, flops her head down on it
and covers her head with her arms.

LIV
I'm such a dork!

Lucy rubs her daughter's back.

LUCY
Oh sweetie.

LIV
Don't touch me Mom, I'm still nauseous.

Lucy carefully pulls her hand back.

XANDER (OS)
Hello? Anyone home?

LUCY
In here!

Xander walks into the room and looks at all the "down" looks on
the girls' faces. He looks pretty down himself.

XANDER
Wow. Why the glum factory?

MAYA
You should talk.

LUCY
It's a long story. What brings you here and
so down in the mouth?

XANDER
Trouble. Clem called me at work for a meet
regarding some disturbing information and I
just spent an hour playing one hundred and
twenty questions with Pongo the wonder
puppet.
(rubs temple)
I'm not going to mention the half a dozen or
so premonitions.

LIV
What is it?

XANDER
From what I've pieced together from Clem and
the Watcher's report, the Vizier has been
working for some group called the Consul.

MAYA
So he's just a henchman?

XANDER
From what I can tell.

MAYA
Hmm.

XANDER
What?

MAYA
When that guy kidnapped me he kept saying
that he was a "Counselor of Sacul" or
something like that.

Xander pulls out his PDA and makes a couple of notes in it.

XANDER
Sacul, huh. Nope. Nothing. Well whatever
they're called, It looks like they making a
major move in the next couple of days.
They're going to try and kidnap some kid who
goes to your school.

LIV
Aw crap.

LUCY
Do you know who it is? Or why they want him?

Xander shakes his head.

XANDER
No. Nobody does. But I know when and where.
(sighs and smiles at Liv)
Think you can get a date for homecoming?

Liv turns a shade of green and runs out of the room. Lucy and
Maya start rubbing their temples.

XANDER
What'd I say?

END ACT I

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