Yoda the Vampire Slayer: Part 3
by The Slain Knight
Jedi Girl
(The Next morning at Buffy’s: Joyce is making scrambled eggs as Buffy comes down the stairs)
Joyce: And how’s my favorite Slayer?
Buffy: Better. Sleepy time good (Buffy rubs her temples) head not so good.. did you get back this morning?
Joyce: Nope, came back after I figured if I hadn’t heard that Godzilla was destroying Monterrey, everything was OK here. Partying late last night wouldn’t have helped that head...
Buffy: Ah well, butt was whipped and so we needed to celebrate.
Joyce: Anything planned for today?
Buffy: Me and... this guy we met up with at the bronze are going to do some training. He’s kind of good at training people so he’s going to help me...
Joyce: Oh I see.. is he cute?
Buffy: ick no, he’s like 900 years old, plus he’s short.....
Joyce: Just wondering... where’d you go last night?
Buffy: Bronze and Angel’s... The place is pretty much in limbo right now, but I think Will
has her eye on making it our own little frat house...
Joyce: You sure you’d want to live there? I thought it was kind of drab
Buffy: I’m sure we could think of something to make the place more girly...Plus I need a place to train now that the library is kinda not there..
Joyce: Two from two...
Buffy: Yeah, it’s like any high school I go near is jinxed, guess I better not be a teacher...
Joyce: Well it’s your choice you know that...
Buffy: Yeah I know... I can do anything I want... as long as it involves the undead in some way...
Yoda: (coming through the open back door) Food you should eat yes? train... train to kick ass we will....
Buffy: Oh... Hey... Umm.. Mom, this is the guy I meet last night...
Joyce: Oh that makes sense! Shamus here was asking all about you! He said you were going to help him find his lucky charms if he trained you...
Yoda: Yes... train good leprechauns do yes...
Buffy: yeah... right... leprechaun....I can deal....
Joyce: (getting ready to leave) Well, we’ve got a new gallery opening tonight so I better go, bye Shamus,
Yoda (in a thick Irish accent): be see’n yer later I will yes hmmm?
Joyce: (kissing Buffy on the head) By honey...
Buffy: (waiting for Joyce to leave) Leprechaun?
Yoda (sitting up on the bench): Easier to explain, take news badly your mother does yes?
Buffy: Yeah kinda...
Yoda: (more serious) hmmm...much fear in her there is... fear for her daughter...
Buffy: Yeah.. I’m a big girl though... She knows I can take care of myself, really.
Yoda: Much fear for her you have...
Buffy: I guess.. She’s an easy target, the badguys know it...
Yoda: hmmm..... fear you must not have...
Buffy: But how can I not fear for her? I mean, it’s not as if she’s protected from evil 24 hours a day....
Yoda: Confidence you need... knowing that you WILL be able to protect her from harm is the only way to confront your fear and overcome it....
Buffy: But how can I know that she is going to be ok...
Yoda: Training! Learning! Observing..... Become more aware of the force. Aware of those things that are close and those which are far....
Buffy: And how do I do that?
Yoda: Here is not the place.... to place of training we must go...
Buffy: Ok.. let’s go
* * *
The two go to Yoda’s ship, which landed in the woods outside of town. There Buffy is defending herself from a floating droid like the one that Luke trained with on the Falcon, though she only has reflective gauntlets and to protect her:
Buffy (after being stung by the blast for the 6th time in a row): OUCH! damn it! can’t you turn that thing down?!
Yoda: One setting only...glad there is no more you should be.. higher I would have the droid set to yes?
Buffy (after the 7th time in a row): DAMN IT! How am I supposed to react to a flaming bullet anyway?
Yoda: NO! Do not react! Move....Know where to move, that is the key. A Jedi must know what to do before it is done.
Buffy (skeptically): So what your saying is I have to GUESS where I’m going to get shot at?
Yoda: Guess not! Know! A Jedi does not guess. A Jedi’s mind can see before the eye does. A Jedi uses this, reacts to this, not to what his eye’s tell.
Buffy: Yeah, ok, one problem: I’m no Jedi!
Yoda: *sigh* No! You are not a Jedi! Strong the force is with you, but you lack the discipline. To be a Jedi you must be aware of all that surrounds you. With sight this cannot be done. With your heart must you see.
Buffy: Ok, but how do see with my heart, I mean, these thing’s haven’t done a bad job for the last 18 years, and last time I looked my heart didn’t do squat on the vision front...
Yoda: Here... (he hands her a blindfold) Focussed on what your mind and your heart know you must be. Not on what your ears and eyes tell them.
Buffy: Ok I’ll give it A shot...
Yoda: But will you succeed?
(Buffy doesn’t answer. She goes into fighting stance, and the droid reacts. With here ears
and eyes masked from the fire, she deflects every shot, the last hitting back at the droid)
Buffy: I’d consider that successful. But then again, I’m no Jedi...
Yoda: Knight of the Jedi you are not. But Learner of the Force you are.
Buffy: OK Cool. Now what.
From the ship door a familiar sounding R2 unit fires an object into the air, Buffy somersaults over her sensei, catches and ignites the short lightsabre:
Buffy: Way Cool.
Yoda: Build your own before you can continue your training you must. But a feel for mine you need.
Buffy: And when can I build my own?
Yoda: When we get to Courascant....
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