Yoda the Vampire Slayer: Part 1
by The Slain Knight
Disclaimage: Yoda and Star Wars is owned by Lucasfilm, Buffy and co. are owned by Mutant Enemy inc. blah blah blah
Note: Spoilers for Grad Day 2 and Star Wars (if you haven’t seen it)
This piece of work was inspired by the Snoop Yoda Sillogy www.yodafun.8m.com
Authors note: I had intended for this to be only a short one, not 6 parts long!
That’s kinda why this it’s in quasi-script form, which I know looks disgusting. You’ll
understand better if you go read the Yoda Stories...
This is the first fic I've done from start to finish so shoot me down as much as you want PLEASE!
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The Bantam Menace
( Everyone's at the Bronze, celebrating the ass whipping they gave to the mayor: )
Xander (Sitting between Buffy and Cordy): Is it safe to say that we rock?
Buffy: Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that we kicked ass...
Cordy: Hey I did good too! Don’t forget that I KILLED A VAMPIRE
(Buffy rolls her eyes)
Xander (smirks): Yeah, you did pretty good...
Buffy (interrupts): Hey, anyone seen Will and Oz?
(On cue Oz and Will enter, adjusting there clothes as they walk)
Buffy: Hey where have you two been?
Willow (nervously): uh.. We were looking.. for things... In Oz’s Van...
Oz: Yeah.. looking for.. umm.. my guitar....
Cordy: I thought you left your guitar here before you came?
Oz (Looking at Will): Damn.... guess that was a big waste of time then huh?
Will (smirking): Yeah.. good waste of time... I mean, big.. big waste of time....
(Xander and Cordy look puzzled, but Buffy looks troubled)
Xander: uh.. Buff.. you there?
Buffy: What?
Xander: You ok?
Buffy: Yeah... It’s just..
Willow (sitting down on the couch opposite with Oz): Angel?
Buffy: No it’s not him.. I sense something....
Cordy: Great.. The bad guy’s just keep’ a commin’ to Sunnyhell don’t they?
Buffy: No... It’s not evil.... It’s something else....
(A small hooded figure walks in the door)
Bouncer: Hey kid, no one under 16 in here...
Hooded figure: Underestimated my age you have hmmm? (wave’s his hand You will take me to Buffy now....
Bouncer (in monotone): I will take you to Buffy now.....
Hooded figure: hehehe... abuse my powers I will!.... quack like a duck you will...
Bouncer: QUACK
Hooded figure: mmm.. good duck are you.. yes....
Bouncer (Taking the hooded figure to where the Scooby gang are): QUACK QUACK...
Hooded figure: mmm... powerful is the force with this one... yes.... very strong she is.... (asks Cordy) Buffy Summers are you?
Buffy: Who wants to know?
Hooded figure (recognizes Buffy as the slayer): You! The one I seek you are....
Buffy: Great! now grammatically dyslexic dwarfs are after me.... What’s your deal little man?
Hooded Figure: Little?! Judge me by my size do you?
Cordy: Well, unless you have magical powers, umm yeah...
Hooded Figure (sounding annoyed): hmmm... annoying you are yes.. (speaking to Buffy) Talk outside we must...
Buffy: Beat it little guy...
Hooded figure: hmmmm... (wave’s hand) away you will go with me now...
Buffy: If you think that waving your hand is going to...
Xander: I will go away with you now...
Hooded figure: haha... easily influenced is this one.. bark like a dog you should..
Xander: BARK!
Oz: I thought I was the only one that did that...
Xander: BARK BARK!
Buffy: Xander snap out of it....
Xander: huh? what?
Hooded figure: oooh... strong the force is with you...
Buffy: The force?... what kind of weird star wars cult are you from little guy?
Hooded figure: Star Wars?.. of no concern right now... away from here we must talk...
Buffy: Well you managed to make Xander bark like a dog without using a big sharp knife so that’s gotta count for something. Ok, let’s head to the library...
Cordy: Uh.. didn’t you just blow that up?
Buffy: Oh right...Angel’s then...
Xander: Better than nothing... where the hell did that saying come from anyway?
Oz: Someone that was very materialistic...
Buffy: I’ll get Giles to meet us there,
Will: Hey, did Angel manage to sell the place?
Buffy: I don’t think so....
Will: Buff....
Buffy: Yeah...
Will: I think we’ve got ourselves a frat house in the making.....
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