Three Handed Game: Part 3
by Theodore J Miller
When Buffy and Angel arrived at Cordelia's home, there were sounds of music and conversation coming from inside, but no horrified screams or other indications that a vampire attack was already going on. "I think we're still in time," Buffy said. "Now, the vampires need to be invited inside, right?"

"But they HAVE some way to get in, according to my information," Angel answered.

"I KNOW that," Buffy said testily. "But that way has to involve being invited, not sneaking in the back window or anything like that. So someone who has a REASON to be invited in, a dinner guest or whoever, must be a vampire. I'll go to the door, say I'm here to see Cordelia, and check out everyone who's already inside for vampires. You stay out here, and look for vampires lurking around; they probably have someone waiting to catch any escaping victims. Got it?"

"Wait," Angel said. "What if you need me inside later? I won't be able to come in uninvited, either."

"Good point. Okay, come with me, and follow my lead." Buffy walked up to the door, Angel just behind her, but Buffy paused as she had a sudden thought. She reached into her purse, pulled out and flipped open a small compact, then rang the doorbell. A maid answered the door; Buffy flicked a glance down at the mirror in the compact and saw the maid's reflection.

"Hi, I'm Buffy," she said brightly. "I'm a frien..., um, I go to school with Cordelia. Is she here? Oh, what a lovely house this is, very well-decorated, a professional decorator, right?" Still rambling on to distract the maid, Buffy stepped across the threshold of the doorway, then said from inside, "And this is Angel, he gave me a lift up here, Angel, come in and look at this lovely decorating," subtly emphasizing the phrase 'come in'. Angel took one step across the threshold, then Buffy said, "Okay, Angel, better go now, wouldn't want to keep your dear old mother waiting, bye," then to the maid, "you did say Cordelia was here now, didn't you?"

Angel left, and the somewhat-bemused maid said, "Wait here, miss, I'll get Cordelia." The maid left and quickly returned, Cordelia in tow.

"Buffy, what's going on? You called about vam..." Cordelia started.

"About homework," Buffy interrupted. "You know, studying, math problems, essays, school stuff. Let's go in your room and talk about it."

When the two teens were in Cordelia's room, Buffy said, "Listen, we've got to do this quickly. I think someone here is a vampire. Vampires have to be invited into a home to enter; who was invited in here?"

"Just my parents' guests," Cordelia answered. "You think one of THEM is a vampire?"

"Yes, now, are the guests all here yet?"

"All but the mayor and his wife; they called that they'd be late," Cordelia said. "You don't think that HE'S the vampire, do you? He's a politician; for him to be a blood-sucking monster would be, well..."

"Redundant? Well, it would really suck if he's the vampire, so probably. But we have to go check everyone else, anyway. Vampires don't reflect in a mirror; we just have to subtly check everyone for a reflection. Do you have a little mirror, a compact or..."

Cordelia interrupted. "Let's see, evening rather than daytime. Formal rather than casual, for the dinner party, but not too flashy. And with the outfit I'm wearing now, aha." She got a compact out of a drawer, then looked at the one that Buffy was still holding, and got out a second one. "I'm going to do you an enormous favor and let you borrow one of mine. Yours is totally wrong for the time of day and the occasion. Though you really should buy more of your own. Mine are color-balanced for my hair and complexion; with your hair, perhaps you should try something a little more..."

"Never mind; as long as it has a mirror in it, it will work." Cordelia tsk'ed at this, but Buffy continued, "If you find someone who doesn't have a reflection, do NOT let them know that you know. Just quietly get me, and I'll, um, think of something."

"You're going to stake someone in my living room, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not. Unless I really have to. You know, to save lives. Or keep the vampire from getting away. I'm the Slayer; I have to do this stuff. Come on; let's go find that vampire."

Cordelia muttered, "I liked it better when I thought you were just some homicidal psycho gang member," but followed Buffy out.

The two girls went to the living room, and casually mirror- tested all the guests and Cordelia's parents, while Cordelia kept up a steady stream of inane party chatter. The two then rendezvous'ed in the hall.

"Anything?" Buffy asked.

"I have NO idea why that Mrs. Montgomery chose that make-up if she COULD see herself in a mirror, but she did have a reflection, along with everyone else," Cordelia answered.

"I didn't find anything either," Buffy said. "Which leaves the mayor. He's late because he was waiting to rise from his grave and suck the blood from unsuspecting voters, and I'm going to have to stick a stake in him in front of everybody. How long do you think my mom will ground me for committing a political assassination?"

"Hey, I'M the one who'll after explain why I was hanging out with someone who committed a political assassination. And not someone cool either. Listen, could you shout something cool just before you do it, some trendy slogan about saving the whatever it is that all those Hollywood types like to save? Hanging out with a radical chic terrorist; that I could work with."

The sound of the doorbell interrupted them. "The mayor and his wife. Come on," Buffy said. "As soon as we know that they're the vampires, I'll..."

"You'll make up a convincing excuse to get them to leave quietly?" Cordelia said hopefully.

"Something like that," Buffy said, getting a stake ready as she positioned herself on a landing just above where the maid was answering the door. Cordelia turned away, saying "I can't watch this; my whole future, the social position, the wealth, just crumbling to dust."

Buffy got ready to leap down, then checked the mayoral couple in her mirror. She paused in surprise, saying "They're not vampires either."

"They're not?" Cordelia asked in surprise and relief. "Thank you, God; I'm NOT going to be a social outcast for the rest of my life. Okay, no vampires here, why don't you run along and kill some monsters in the BAD part of town, while I get back to making contacts with rich people who have eligible sons."

"But I was sure..." Buffy said. "Is there ANYONE else in the house or coming here?"

"Well, yes, but you said vampires have to be invited, and you checked all the people who got an invitation to the party, so no vampires, good night."

"Wait a minute, who's here who DIDN'T get an invitation to the party?" Buffy asked.

"The two caterers, of course, but they're just working here; they weren't invited."

"They weren't invited...? I didn't mean vampires have to get an engraved, formal RSVP-type invitation," Buffy said exasperatedly, "just that someone has to ask them to come in, as in 'Are you the caterers? Come in, the kitchen's over here.' THAT type of invitation."

"Oh. Well, you didn't SAY that," Cordelia answered. "YOU'RE the one who knows about vampires and monsters and all that. I'm just the one who they keep trying to kidnap, and kill, and drink my blood, and put my head on a dead body, and, and why DO they keep picking on me, anyway?"

"Karma, maybe? Look, where's the kitchen; I've got to check these caterers out."

"Come on, I'll show you," Cordelia said resignedly as she led the way. "And what do you mean, karma? I've never been mean to anyone who didn't deserve it because of their lousy fashion sense, tendency to annoy me, or general loser qualities."

Outside the kitchen door, Buffy whispered to Cordelia, "Wait here; I'll check it out." Compact in one hand, and stake ready in the other, she leaned in and started to open the door, but was shoved back as the door swung open, and a woman came out of the kitchen. The compact fell to the floor, and the mirror broke.

"Mom," Cordelia said, "are you all right?"

"Of course, dear," Mrs. Chase answered; "I got out of bed for this dinner party and everything. I was just telling the caterers that everyone's here, and we'll be having dinner now." She walked off, and Buffy hissed "Give me your compact!" at Cordelia. Buffy took the compact, checked the mirror's reflection of Mrs. Chase, and sighed with relief. "She's still human, anyway."

"I think all we've got is caterers, not vampires," Cordelia said. "They're in there cooking dinner, and I'm sure you've noticed the absence of neck-biting, blood-sucking, grisly murdering, and all the other social faux pas that vampires commit. So you don't have to go in and stake them, which is good, since although killing the caterers is a distinct improvement over killing the dinner guests, it can still put a damper on dinner."

"I want to be sure," Buffy said. She again leaned in and started to open the door, and was again shoved back, this time by a man carrying a large silver soup tureen. Another compact fell and broke. "Excuse me, girls, hot soup coming through here," the man said.

"See," Cordelia hissed, "they're just serving dinner."

"Maybe you're right," Buffy said, then she suddenly leaped over the man's head, pulled a cross from her purse, and brandished it in the man's face. He recoiled, and changed to vampire face. "And maybe you're not," Buffy continued. "Vampires really shouldn't carry big shiny silver bowls; it reflects badly on them."

Buffy lunged for the vampire, stake at the ready, but was forced to jump back to avoid the hot soup the vampire flung at her. The vampire dashed back into the kitchen, and Buffy leaped over the spreading pool of soup on the floor and followed him in.

Inside the kitchen, the vampire was saying, "Reginald, the Slayer's here and she's on to us!" Buffy added, "and she's right here."

Reginald looked at her, and said, "Unfortunate. I was hoping to do this in a subtle manner, drugging their food and bringing them back while they were asleep. Now I shall have to utilize a more violent approach; less efficient, albeit more fun."

"You know, you and Giles could have this really BORING conversation. To save the world from THAT horrible fate... " Buffy said, lunging at Reginald.

Reginald managed to hold her off temporarily, until the other vampire attacked from the side and forced her to retreat. "You are forgetting the fact that you are outnumbered two to one," Reginald said. "This is Matthew, by the way," he added, gesturing at the other vampire.

"And I'm Buffy, who YOU may have forgotten is the vampire Slayer, while you're the vampire CATERERS," Buffy responded. "Not one of your really TOUGH challenges." She grabbed a large kitchen knife and flung it at Matthew, pinning his arm, then attacked Reginald again.

"Actually, while my career prior to my 'transformation' WAS in domestic service," Reginald said, grabbing a knife of his own and parrying her stake, "for the better part of a century my duties have instead involved considerable physical conflict. I have made it a point to become quite proficient at it, sufficiently so I believe as to possibly challenge even a Slayer. Particularly since I do have an ally to assist me," he added, as Matthew freed his arm. Both vampires advanced on Buffy with knives ready.

"Fortunately, the Slayer ALSO has an ally," came Angel's voice from the kitchen's outside door. "And you have one ally less; that vampire you had waiting outside is, well, let's just say he's not in the same condition as when you left him."

"In that case, another strategy is called for," Reginald said. The two vampires flung their knives at Buffy; while she was catching one and ducking the other, the vampires leaped toward Angel. While Angel was grappling with Matthew, Reginald lunged past and out the door.

Buffy followed, but Matthew managed to tangle her in the melee as well. Buffy and Angel together made quick work of Matthew, but by the time they got to their feet and out the door, Reginald had vanished. "Damn!" Buffy said, "I wish we'd got him. He said he was like a hundred years old. Getting rid of a vampire like that would DO something, more than killing the vampires they just made and can replace."

"At least we stopped them from harming anyone here," Angel said. "We DID stop them from harming anyone, didn't we?"

"Yeah, we did, although... come on, we have to get back to the kitchen, stat."

"What is it?" Angel asked as they went back in.

"The vampires drugged the food," Buffy replied. "We've got to dump it before anyone eats anything."

Cordelia was nervously peeking into the kitchen. She said "Buffy, good, it's you," with relief, gave a start when she saw Angel, then relaxed as she realized who it was. "Oh, Angel, I thought it was a vampire."

"Well,..." Angel began, but Buffy interrupted him, saying to Cordelia, "Cordy, grab a tray and start dumping all this food out. The vampires drugged it as part of their plan. Angel, you'd better go back outside and keep watch, in case, um, in case, oh, in case Reggie-boy comes back to try something else; he WAS invited in." Angel mouthed silently at Buffy, "I'm REALLY not interested in Cordelia," but slipped outside.

"Comes back? Who's coming back?" Cordelia asked.

"We staked one vampire in here, but the other one got away," Buffy answered. "Now help dump the food."

"Oh, this is going incredibly well," Cordelia said sarcastically. "I already had to keep my mother from coming in here once to see what happened to dinner and why there was soup all over the hall. Now I have to explain to my parents, and all their really wealthy, really prominent guests, why their dinner's in the garbage and one caterer has crumbled into a little pile of ashes. On the bright side, however, the other caterer is still alive, sort of, and could come back and kill everybody. Does that about cover it, or did I miss any disasters?" Cordelia paused. "This is truly desperate, but as the Slayer, you wouldn't happen to have a super-human ability to quickly whip up a formal dinner for fourteen people, would you?"

"Let's see, there's hand-to-hand combat, quarterstaff, crossbow, no, somehow Giles never mentioned such fundamental vampire-slaying skills as basting and sautéing. And before you ask, no, Willow can't program dinner on her computer, Giles did not run a restaurant in London before coming to Sunnydale, and Angel is not a gourmet chef in his spare time," Buffy said, adding under her breath, "Be lucky if Angel even remembers how food tastes." Buffy paused and thought. "Listen, maybe you can just tell the truth; well, part of it, anyway."

"Tell the truth?" Cordelia said incredulously. "I am NOT going to try to tell my parents, and the mayor, and everyone else out there, that we had vampires cooking dinner in our kitchen."

"Not the truth about vampires. Instead of vampires, we'll just say that they were criminals who get into people's homes by pretending to be caterers. Then they drug the food in order to rob the place or kidnap people while everyone's asleep. And they would have gotten away with their scheme if it wasn't for us meddling kids; we discovered the truth, causing them to flee. We've got the drugged food here as proof, and the vampires aren't going to show up and say 'Hey, we're not criminals, we're the walking dead', are they?"

"Let's see," Cordelia mused, "teenagers foiling criminals, that's moderately passé, but if I put in a few key details, and leave out anything geeky, particularly that 'meddling kids' line, I could manage to make it trendy."

"Well, good, I wouldn't want you to have an uncool alibi," Buffy said sarcastically.

"Of course not, it would be worse than none at all," Cordelia responded, missing the sarcasm. "Now, you are sure that everyone will believe this?"

"Who attacked the school on Parents' Night?"

"Vampires, but..."

"And who does everyone THINK attacked the school on Parents' Night?"

"Gang members on PCP."

"They'll believe it."

There was sound of footsteps in the hall. "It's show time," Buffy said, and the two girls went out into the hall.

Elsewhere that night, other vampires were also on the move. Spike was driving his car, with Drusilla, Sheila, and a couple of other vampires riding with him. "This is it, Spike," Drusilla said, "I see the little bus coming right past here, very soon now."

"Very good, Princess," Spike replied; "what WOULD I do without you?" Spike parked the car by the side of the road, and said, "Drusilla, sweet, please stay right here in the car, okay?"

"Do I have to?" Drusilla asked petulantly.

"Yes, you do, Princess," Spike answered. He opened the glove compartment, and took out a hospital blood bag. "Here, you can have a snack while you're waiting." He looked at the other vampires, and said "Okay, places everyone." All but Drusilla got out of the car, and while Sheila waited in the middle of the road, Spike and the other two hid in the woods by the side.

Soon a prison van drove up, preceded by a police officer on a motorcycle. Sheila stood blocking the road and waved them down, saying "Officer, our car broke down." The motorcycle officer held his gun ready, and told her "Miss, you'll have to move aside; I'll call for assistance for your car." At that point Sheila changed to vampire face and leaped on him. The startled policeman fired, hitting her squarely, but she still broke his neck.

Simultaneously, Spike and the others leaped from the woods and ripped the locked, bulletproof doors of the van off their hinges with vampiric strength. The guard inside with the driver fired, hitting the vampire in the lead, but the driver and guard were soon unconscious or dead.

Inside the back of the van, a commotion broke out among the prisoners, but Spike ignored it for the moment. Sheila, lying in the road, groaned in pain and said to Spike, "You said bullets couldn't hurt us."

"That's 'kill us', girlie; bullets can't KILL us," Spike answered her. "Relax; by tomorrow you won't even know you were shot. Have a bite to drink from that cop; it'll make you feel better." He banged on the side of the van and said "Hush it up in there; how can I run an escape with all of you yammering?" Spike turned back to the other vampires: "Come on, let's get this lot back to base and dump the prison van before anyone misses it."

Back at Spike's headquarters, he addressed the prisoners, who were still individually hand-cuffed. "Okay, here's the facts. We're vampires; you have two choices. We drink your blood, you drink our blood, you become vampires, you live forever. Or we drink your blood, you die immediately. Any questions?"

"What kind of garbage is this?" one of the prisoners said belligerently.

"Congratulations!" Spike replied, "you've just volunteered for a little demonstration. Josh..." The teenage hacker-turned- vampire stood up and started advancing on the prisoner who'd spoken; Spike added "Don't be a glutton, now; loud-mouth here has to be alive to make his decision." Josh transformed to vampire face in front of the prisoners, and they all recoiled. Josh then grabbed the one prisoner, held him helpless, bit him and drained some blood, then left him unconscious on the floor. "Okay, if there are no OTHER questions," Spike said, "why don't you all think about your decision."

A couple of the vampires led the shocked prisoners off, but one of the prisoners, a short skinny guy with glasses, managed to gain Spike's attention and say "Wait; there's something important I have to say to you, something that will help you."

Spike ignored him, until Drusilla said "Ooh, I want to hear what he says."

Spike grabbed that prisoner as the others were led away. "Okay, only for you, sweets," Spike said to Drusilla, then growled at the prisoner, "talk fast."

"Listen, I'm Charlie Higgins, they call me Prof because I read a lot," the prisoner said, "and I read a book about vampires once, it said you can't go into a house without being invited, isn't that true?"

"I KNOW that already, I'm the vampire here," Spike said impatiently.

"But listen," Prof continued, "I was arrested for burglary and safecracking, and if you make me a vampire, I won't be much use to you, if I can't break into places I'm not invited into."

"Good point," Spike said. "So I guess you're dinner."

"NO, I meant, if you don't kill me or change me, if you leave me human, I can work for you, break into houses, then invite you in. See, I'd be much more useful to you that way, than if you change me, wouldn't I? Hmm? Wouldn't I?"

"Interesting point," Spike mused. "You COULD get into certain places. On the other hand, I couldn't really trust you, could I?"

"You could trust me, honest you could," Prof interrupted.

"Shut up," Spike said, "I'm musing. Okay, I'll give it a shot. You stay human, for the moment. But if you do ANYTHING I don't like, well, let's see." He pulled a small notebook out of his back pocket, and started flipping through it. "That one's for being nasty to Dru, that only works on vampires, no, just did that one." He closed the notebook. "Tell you what; if you do ANYTHING I don't like, I'll make up something totally new, just for you."

"Something n-new?" Prof asked nervously.

"Something modern, high-tech, but of course still extremely nasty and incredibly painful. With a couple of railroad spikes tossed in; high-tech, yes, but with a touch of the traditional as well. Get my point?"

"G-got it."

"Good. Now, go find yourself a corner somewhere; I've got to decide which of your compatriots will be the first to join my merry band of bloodsuckers."

Over in Simon's lair that night, vampires were reporting back in. A female vampire arrived, dragging an unconscious man with her.

"Eliza," Simon asked, "your report?"

"I was successful at converting Walter Benedict," she replied, "and left him to rise. This is his assistant," she indicated her prisoner; "what shall I do with him?"

"Just lock him up here," Simon answered; "I shall determine later on whether he shall be given the gift of joining us, or whether he will merely feed the newly-risen ones. Abraham and I were successful as well; it remains only for Reginald's group to return."

As if on cue, the vampire named Reginald entered. "Reginald, you are alone," Simon said sternly; "That does NOT bode well for the results of your mission."

"I must regretfully report that I have failed you, sir," Reginald said. "The Slayer, and the apostate Angelus, were present at the Chase household. Charles and Matthew were both destroyed, and I was unable to bring any of the primary targets back. After being forced to flee, I was able to locate and convert a secondary target, Dr. Levine, while she was leaving the hospital, but I know that does not excuse my failure. I offer my life in atonement."

"No, Reginald," Simon said. "Our numbers are too few to permit the sacrifice of any as punishment. I shall decide how you will redeem your failure later. For now, we must do more to increase our numbers for the battle with the traitorous Spike."

The vampire Abraham, who had objected before, spoke up. "Simon, I MUST speak. The newly-risen will constitute half of our numbers. To sire even more, before these are properly trained in our ways, is ..."

"ENOUGH, Abraham!" Simon shouted. "Not one more word from you! I have explained, I have insisted, and STILL you object! NO MORE! We WILL destroy the killer of the Anointed One, by whatever means are necessary. The elder among us will continue to sire new vampires, as many as are needed. And if we STILL need more, the newly-risen ones will sire new vampires as well."

"The newly-risen will sire...? We can't ..."

"If I judge it necessary, we WILL! We will double our numbers at every rising, if we must. We will fill the nights with our numbers, and the blood of mortals will flow like a mighty river. But we ... will ... WIN!"




This story archived at: The Slayer\'s Fanfic Archive
The Slayer\\\\\\\\'s FanFic Archive - http://www.slayerfanfic.com/viewstory.php?sid=9655