The Undead Have Few Friends: Part 2
by Theodore J Miller
Overcoming her surprise, Buffy leaped back from Darla, and shouted "You can't be here! You're dead! Angel killed you!" Buffy pulled out the contents of a hiding place where she normally kept a cross ready, and brandished it at Darla; unfortunately, the only thing hidden there was a book: Buffy's diary.

Darla just stood there. "Buffy, are you still confused by the nightmare? Yesterday you invited me to sleep over, remember? We stayed up late, talking about Angel?"

"But you came in my house, you bit my mother, you tried to make me think Angel did it."

"Buffy, please, you can't really think that vampires go around biting people. You're dating my brother Angel; you don't believe the nasty lies people tell about vampires, do you? I thought it didn't matter to you that we were vampires, and I thought you were my friend; why are you saying all these mean things?" Darla started to cry.

Buffy was torn between sympathy for the other girl's genuine distress, and everything she actually knew about vampires in general, and Darla in particular. Then one thing that Darla had said struck her. "Wait a minute; your BROTHER Angel?"

"Yes, my brother Angel, I introduced you, you're dating him, you came to our house, you met my Dad and Uncle Luke, remember all that?" Darla asked hopefully.

"Like the dreams?" Buffy thought; "okay, play along until I figure it out." Out loud, she said "I'm, uh, I'm sorry I said what I did; not sure what was real, what was dream, a whole confusion thing, you know? I'll just go, splash some water on my face, get myself oriented, okay?" She backed toward the door as she said this.

"Okay, Buffy," Darla said, relief in her voice, and Buffy backed out the door.

In the hall, Buffy muttered to herself, "All right, figure this out. I can do it; I'm not just killing vampires and cheerleading and all that, I can be smart too, I've seen how Giles does it. I've gotta make up a theory, then see if it fits or not. Yeah, that sounds good, so let's see, what theory?"

"All right, theory, I'm still asleep, having one of the weird dreams. Does that work?" Buffy paused. "No, in the dreams the weird things seemed normal while I was dreaming, and I didn't realize they were weird until I woke up. But when I saw Darla just now, I knew it was weird, that she should be dead, that Angel isn't her brother, all that stuff. Oh wait, there's another thing I can check." Looking around the hall, Buffy saw a heavy bookcase, and easily lifted it up from the floor. "Right, in the dreams I wasn't the Slayer, didn't have any special strength or anything, but I do have it now."

"Okay, theory number two, it's like the thing that happened with the nightmares; things from my dreams are appearing in the real world. Can I check THAT theory somehow?" Buffy looked at the diary she still had clutched in her hand. "Right, if that's what's happening, my diary should either have only real stuff in it, or weird stuff that I dreamed, but not any OTHER weird stuff, right? Right; see, I can do this brainy stuff." She started flipping through the diary, muttering "Let's see, anything about Angel or vampires."

"Yeah, here's worrying about telling my mother I'm dating a vampire, here's Angel bringing me to his house to meet his family, here's finding out my Mom KNEW Angel was a vampire, that's all stuff that I dreamed." Buffy stopped at another page. "No fair! How come I never dreamed I did any of THAT with Angel? That's the good bits!" She paused and shut the diary. "Oops, I think I've got to apologize to myself for reading her, er my, er whatever diary. But if I never dreamed that part, then this isn't just my dream come to life, right? Right. So what else?"

Buffy thought back to her last discussion with Giles about the dreams. "Hmm, Giles said something about seeing other worlds in dreams, didn't he? Maybe that's it, maybe I've been seeing this weirdo world in my dreams, and now I'm here when I'm awake? No, that's no good either; some of the stuff from the dreams is here, like Darla being Angel's kid sister, but other stuff isn't, like Darla being killed. If there's stuff here that wasn't in the dreams, and there's stuff in the dreams that isn't here, how could either have come from the other one?"

"Maybe it's all just a big practical joke. I told Giles and Willow and Xander about the first two dreams; maybe while I was asleep Willow left, and they got somebody who looks like Darla, and they changed my diary, and any other details. And they didn't know about Darla being killed in the third dream, because I never got a chance to tell them about it. Hmm, I guess the only problem with that theory is that it's a STUPID theory. Xander, and Willow, and Giles, hiding out in the bushes, laughing over whether I'll shove a stake through some innocent actress they got to play Darla? That's an 'Olympic gold medal in stupidity' stupid idea."

Buffy thoughts were interrupted by Darla, who had come out of the bedroom. "Buffy, are you okay now?" Darla asked hesitantly. "Can we go back to sleep?"

"Okay, I'm STILL not sure what's going," Buffy said to herself, "but if Darla had wanted to kill me or anything, she could have done it before, while I was asleep. So I GUESS I can trust her for now, and go along with things until I figure this out." Out loud, she said, "Yeah, I guess I'm feeling okay now. Let's get some sleep," adding mentally, "maybe when I wake up again things will be back to normal."

The two girls went back in to the bedroom, Buffy getting into her bed and Darla getting into a sleeping bag next to it. "Good night, Buffy" Darla said, and Buffy turned out the light.

Lying in the dark, Buffy thought Darla fell asleep (although the lack of normal breathing made it hard to tell), but found it hard to get to sleep herself. For some reason, the presence of a vampire who, in another life/world/reality/ existence/whatever, had tried to kill Buffy, made sleep elusive. But concentrating on the last vampire to sleep next to her bed (although Buffy hadn't known Angel WAS a vampire at the time), and the hope that if she did go to sleep, she'd wake up to her normal life, or at least her normally weird life, finally got her to sleep.

In the morning, Buffy was awakened by her mother's call "Girls! Time to get up for school!" Hoping extremely hard that "girls" referred to herself and Willow, Buffy looked next to her bed; "Damn," she muttered, "it's still Darla."

Breakfast was difficult for Buffy; morning was no time for a still-confused Slayer to have to see the bottle of blood (with a cheery cartoon of a vampire bat on it) that constituted Darla's breakfast. But Buffy managed to pull herself together and get ready for school, and even managed to notice another detail matching the dreams; Darla wore the silvery cloak and sun goggles to go out in the sunlight.

School was also difficult. Buffy stopped at the school library before class, but the librarian was a woman who had never heard of anyone named Giles working there. "And even if he was here," Buffy muttered, "he'd probably be a homicidal vampire-hating bigot." In English class they were doing The Merchant of Venice; Buffy couldn't be sure, but she didn't think Shakespeare's Shylock was supposed to say "Unlike a vampire, hath not a Jew a reflection?". And in American history class, she had no idea what to answer when asked who the first vampire elected to Congress was.

Willow and Xander were both around, but seemed to be avoiding Buffy, and she in turn wasn't sure whether or not they were trustworthy. Their only presence in her dreams had been to kill Angel and his family, including Darla; since Darla was walking around unstaked, this was not a reliable guide to their behavior.

Finally, Buffy decided to approach them at lunch time. After getting her lunch, Buffy sat down at a table with Xander and Willow, giving a cheerful, "Hi guys; can I join you?"

The two looked at Buffy for a second, then both stood up with their trays. "I have somewhere I have to go," Willow said, and Xander added coldly, "somewhere where a certain person's 'friends' won't show up." The two walked off, while Buffy sat there, looking sadly at their retreating backs. She felt more alone than at any time since coming to Sunnydale.

Buffy's misery was interrupted by Darla and Cordelia, who sat down at her table while continuing a conversation they'd been having. "I know it's a special meal request," Darla said, "but they could try a little harder; the blood here is terrible."

"I have the same problem," Cordelia responded; "my doctor prescribed a special diet for me, but it took forever to get the cafeteria to provide it."

"Buffy, are you okay?" Darla asked, noticing Buffy's devastated look. "Did those two Van Helsings say something to upset you?"

"Huh?" Buffy asked, "Those two whats?"

"Van Helsings," Darla repeated, then clarified it when Buffy still looked confused. "Those two vamp-haters, Willow and Xander. Did they say something nasty to you because you're friends with me and dating my brother?"

"Something like that," Buffy said, still feeling upset.

"I don't know why anyone would hate vampires," Cordelia said. "Isn't it hard enough on you guys that you can't see your reflections? I mean, never knowing if you look okay or not; that's, that's..." Cordelia shuddered in horror at the mere thought.

"At least some things never change," Buffy thought; "even a friendlier Cordelia still has her essential Cordelia- ness." This reminder of normality cheered Buffy up a bit, and she even managed to contribute to the discussion about whether having to avoid the sun to prevent wrinkles was as bad as having to avoid the sun to prevent incineration.

Buffy managed to get through the rest of the day at school, but nothing happened to clarify her confusion about what was going on. When school let out, Buffy saw a sight that cheered her up waiting in front of the school; the figure in silver cape and goggles was definitely Angel.

"Angel, am I glad to see you!" Buffy said happily, hugging him. Angel gave her a kiss hello, and Buffy closed her eyes to enjoy it.

When she opened her eyes, Angel was fastening something on a cord around her neck, and saying, "Buffy, I got you this."

Buffy looked at the object on the cord, a silver locket; with a sudden feeling of dread, she opened it to reveal the miniature painting of Angel and her together. A chilling realization struck her; ignoring what Angel was saying about having it made because he couldn't be photographed with her, she said, "The third dream STARTED this way; that's why Darla was still around this morning, because that dream hadn't happened yet. But if it's happening now, that means..." Angel was looking at her with concern, but all Buffy could think was, "Giles, Willow, and Xander; they're going to KILL Angel and me."

"Buffy, are you okay? What are you talking about?" Angel asked.

"Angel, listen," Buffy said urgently. "I've been dreaming about this weird stuff, and then I woke up but things were still like they were in the dreams, and I thought maybe I'd been dreaming about this world and now I was actually here, but only some things from the dreams were here, and other things weren't the same, so I didn't know what was going on, but then you gave me this locket, and that was the first thing that happened in the third dream, the one that hadn't happened here, so that dream was a prediction, it's something that's going to happen here, and it ends with everybody being killed, so we've got to stop it, and maybe that's why I'm here, to save the nice vampires from the evil vampire hunters, even though that's backwards, but here things are different, and ..."

Angel finally managed to interrupt Buffy's torrent of words. "Buffy, if you had dreams, they're just, well, DREAMS, they don't mean anything."

"Oh, is Buffy telling you about her dreams?" a new voice asked; Darla had come up to the other two. "They had her confused this morning, talking about me having killed you, and then you having killed me, but then she was okay."

"No, listen to me," Buffy said, "I didn't know what was going on then, but now I know. You two and me and your family were all going to be killed, and I've got to stop that, and maybe it's like Quantum Leap, I have to do something and then I'll go home, where things aren't weird, well actually they are weird, with vampires and demons and really big bugs and stuff, but I'm used to that weird stuff, while here it's REALLY weird, with the vampires being good, and my friends don't like me and want to kill me, and even though I could be with Angel here, and that's really nice and I want to do that, I can't stay here, because my friends need me, back home where they ARE my friends, and if I stay here then I won't be around to protect them, and the vampires will get them, I mean the bad vampires, not the good vampires like here, so you see, I have to go save the vampires from my friends so I can go home and save my friends from the vampires."

Angel and Darla both tried to calm Buffy down, but she ignored them and looked around for a way to get to their house quickly. Cordelia had come out of school and was just getting into her car; Buffy dashed over and got in with her. "Buffy, what..." a startled Cordelia asked.

"Cordelia, you have to take me somewhere, quickly," Buffy gave her the address she remembered from her dreams. "It's urgent, a matter of life and death, or undeath, undeath and deader than undeath, or whatever, anyway it's REALLY important."

"Important? But I have to go meet this incredibly scrumptious guy, Buffy, I can't ..."

"PLEASE, Cordelia," Buffy said pleadingly.

"Ohh, okay, but if my date doesn't wait for me you're going to be in such incredibly big trouble..." Cordelia started driving off, then saw Angel and Darla waving at them to stop. "Buffy, isn't that your boyfriend and..."

"Just keep going, there's no time to argue with them."

"Okay, but if you and Angel are having some kind of problem I expect to hear ALL the juicy details tomorrow. AND I get first shot at him if you break up."

"What about your `scrumptious' date?" Buffy asked.

"Well, he's not a vampire, so with Angel I'd have one guy for nighttime and another for daytime, you know, like having different outfits for day and night."

"And what about formal and casual, and summer and winter outfits, and..."

"You're right, I really should find some more guys. I mean, the guy who looks best at the beach in summer won't necessarily look the best in winter clothes, right? And how can I look MY best if I don't have the right-looking guy next to me? Let's see, Angel's the dark, mysterious type, good for nighttime, the Bronze, places like that, but no good for the beach, because he's got that "burnt up by the sun" thing. And Chuck has the blond, lots of muscles, surfer look, so he's great for the beach and summer, but not very good for formal things, proms and so on. How does Angel look in a tuxedo, does he do the whole Count Dracula bit, "I bid you velcome" and all that? If not, there's Lyle's, he's got that whole rich, snooty, upper-class thing, I could make HIM my formal guy."

Buffy let Cordelia continue to talk; that kept Buffy from having to give a whole explanation of what was going on (besides, Buffy was feeling a bit bummed that she'd rushed away before the long kissing scene with Angel that she'd dreamed happened after he gave her the locket). When they reached Angel's family's house, Cordelia was still going on, "Do you think I need a guy for intellectual appeal as well, not any of those chess team nerds or anything like that, of course, but someone who's both good-looking AND smart, a MacGyver sort of thing?"

"Cordelia, we're here, I've got to go," Buffy said, getting out of the car, and adding, "and you've got your date, remember?" to keep Cordelia from hanging around.

"Right, he's gonna be waiting," Cordelia said and sped off, though still muttering "what's smart yet really cool, medicine, that's it, a guy who wants to become a brilliant surgeon, but still of course incredibly gorgeous, ..."

Outside the house, Buffy ran up to the door. She could just make out the sound of Giles' voice from inside. "Damn! They're here already; well, so much for subtlety," she said, as she kicked in the door and dashed inside, hoping to catch Giles by surprise.

Inside, she saw Giles, Xander, and Willow, holding Luke and the Master at bay and readying stakes. "It feels really weird saying this," Buffy said, "but leave those vampires alone!"

"The traitor to humanity defends her 'friends'? How touching," Giles said sarcastically; "Xander, grab her."

Xander lunged at Buffy and tried to grab her around the neck; Buffy flipped him across the room. "Sorry about that, Xander, but no chokeholds on the first date."

"My boyfriend wouldn't date a blond vamp-loving bimbo like you!" Willow yelled as she attacked Buffy.

"A for assertiveness, Will, but F for the really sucky attitude," Buffy said. "And sorry I have to do this, but..." as she knocked Willow out.

Buffy then bounced across the room to disarm Giles, who, deprived of his anti-vampire weaponry, was grabbed by Luke, who yelled "NO ONE hurts my family!"

"And I guess that covers it," Buffy said, but then the Master's shout of "Look out behind you!" caused Buffy to turn. She saw that Xander had recovered enough to pull out a gun. Buffy leaped for cover, but Xander got off a shot at her before the Master grabbed him. Buffy felt a pain in her chest, then everything went black.


* * *
Buffy opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was Willow bending over her. Buffy grabbed Willow, then realized that the other girl was looking at her with concern rather than hatred. "Buffy, it's okay, you were having a nightmare," Willow said.
"A nightmare?" Buffy asked confusedly, looking around and seeing her bedroom. "Whoa, that was a double dose of weirdness. I had this dream where you and Giles and Xander killed Angel and his family and me, then I woke up but I was in the world I was dreaming about, and I STOPPED you three from killing everybody, but Xander shot me, and I woke up here, so that was a dream too?"

Willow look rather confused, but said "I guess so, Buffy."

"And as for Giles' little anti-nightmare herb bag, it did a LOT of good," Buffy said sarcastically, as she pulled the cord from around her neck. Then she froze, as she saw that the object dangling from the cord was NOT the bag of herbs; it was a silver locket. It was badly dented, as if struck by a bullet, but Buffy was still able to pry it open enough to see the miniature portrait of Angel and her inside.

"Angel gave me this in the dream world," Buffy said slowly. "If I'm still wearing it, does that mean I WAS really there? I really did save a bunch of good vampires from evil vampire hunters?"

Epilog 1: The next evening.

"You know, you two are a real disappointment." PUNCH! "Sure it's tough being undead," KICK! "or do you prefer being called 'differently deceased' " LEAP! "but you could still have made something of yourselves, like some other vampires I know." STAKE! "You could have opened a nice ice cream parlor, with 31 flavors of frozen blood," FLIP! "but no, for you every night is just one big neck- biting party." STAKE! "Some vampires just won't make an effort to be part of the community."

Epilog 2: The next night.

Buffy is with Angel. "Buffy," Angel says, "I don't know how you knew what was going to happen, but I'm very grateful that you saved my family."

"It's funny," Buffy says, "I sort of remember what happened, but it's like it was a dream."

"Whatever it was, Uncle Luke said that anyone who did what you did is okay with him, even if you're not a vampire. And all that matters to me is that you're safe, and those Van Helsings are locked up where they belong, and nothing can stop us from being together."


* * *
Buffy opened her eyes in her bedroom. "Well, at least one of me had a happy ending."

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