The Watcher: 1.3 Ties that Bind: Teaser
by gumboy

XANDER (VO)
In my life, I've seen great tragedies, narrow victories and the loss of people I love. I can no longer turn away from the horrors of the world. My name is Xander Harris, and I am the Watcher.

FADE IN:

EXT. BANYAN CONSTRUCTION COMPANY

BANYAN
So Xander, how's the municipal
building coming along?

INT. BANYAN MEETING ROOM

Xander sits with Mr. Banyan, president of the company and
several other co-workers.

XANDER
Well the permits have finally been
approved by the zoning board, so we
can add on the utility rooms that
were approved in the last run off
election.

Xander checks his notes

XANDER
And... uh...

XANDER'S POV

Mr. Banyan has suddenly transformed into a vamped out
version of SPIKE, with bleach blond hair and the infamous
duster. His coffee cup has been replaced with a blood bag
that he is sucking on. The guy sitting next to him has
transformed into the Smile Time version of ANGEL.

BANYAN
(bad cockney accent)
What's wrong mate? Ya' look like ya
lost your bollocks!

XANDER
What?

Mr. Banyan and the co-worker are back to normal.

BANYAN
Why are you looking at me that way?

XANDER
What way?

Banyan gives Xander a scrutinizing look.

BANYAN
You're not going to tackle me again
are you?

XANDER
Uh... No. The... um... suppliers
have all confirmed that the
materials we need will arrive at
the beginning of next week.

Now Banyan is dressed up like Giles in librarian mode and is
polishing his glasses. The co-worker next to him has orange
hair like Oz's and is wearing a "Dingoes Ate My Baby" t-shirt.

BANYAN
(imitating Giles)
Oh, that's... that's wonderful news.
Smashing.

COWORKER
(imitating Oz)
Cool.

Xander blinks hard. Banyan and the coworker is back to normal.

BANYAN
Something wrong Xander?

XANDER
Ah... ate at that new Hungarian
restaurant. Not feeling so good.

BANYAN
All right. Well I think we're done
here. Good job everyone.

INT. BANYAN CONSTRUCTION COMPANY - HALLWAY

Xander exits the meeting room and starts walking to his
office. On his way he passes two female coworkers. He looks
over his shoulder to see one of the co-workers is now dressed like Willow in her nerdy school girl outfit and has long red hair from the first season of BTVS and the other woman has turned into a green glowing ball of energy.

Xander stops, rubs his eyes and looks back again. Now the
two female co-workers look like parodies of Buffy and Faith.
The co-workers stare at him like he was insane.

Xander turns around and starts walking toward his office
again. His eyes almost pop out of his skull as a werewolf
walks by pushing a mail cart.

WEREWOLF
Hey there Mr. Harris!

XANDER
(becoming unhinged)
Hey... Jordan.

INT. XANDER'S OFFICE

Xander runs into his office and closes the door behind him.
He collapses into his office chair and starts massaging his
temples.

XANDER
I'm not losing my mind. I'm not
losing my mind. I'm not losing....

The door opens and one of the red hooded figures floats into his office and hands Xander a file folder.

CONSUL #1
These are the estimates for the
human sacrifices needed on the
hellmouth project.

XANDER
(freaking out)
The what?!

CONSUL #1
The building supplies for the
Jarvis construction

XANDER
uhhhh....

INT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE - BEDROOM

Xander wakes up in a cold sweat.

XANDER
Great googily-moogily.
(sighs)
What the hell was that?

A bald man wearing glasses pops up beside the bed holding
two slices of American cheese.

CHEESE MAN
Behold... The power of cheese.

EXT. XANDER'S FIREHOUSE
The unearthly screams of Xander Harris echo throughout the town of Cape Kenneth.

End Teaser

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