Come Undone: Chapter 12
by claudia6913
Chapter 12

Staring at Spike’s retreating form, Willow was speechless. The closest thing she had to a friend from the past had come to give her news of Giles’ death, and now he was leaving. His words, soft and sorrowful filled her ears and her mind.

Jumping up, Willow raced after him, dropping the books. She could not let him slip through her fingers. She had to know everything. Something. He seemed to be a lifeline for her, a connection to what she had once held dear and close to her.

Willow ran down the stairs just in time to see Spike’s familiar leather coat move through the doorway. Her feet would not move fast enough as they pounded through the house and out the door.

“Spike!” Willow cried out. “Wait!”

Turning, Spike was surprised to see Willow barreling towards him. He stood, waiting for her to catch up and catch her breath. He had not expected her to come after him. Willow had seemed happy and content to stay in the world she had built around herself.

“Spike, I…,” Willow said, her voice trailing off. She did not know what to say now that she had stopped him. “You, you don’t have to leave yet.”

**********

Agreeing to come back inside, Spike and Illyria followed Willow. When she sat on the couch, Spike sat next to her in a separate chair. Illyria was wise in taking a seat across the room.

“Just ask,” Spike said. He did not know what the question would be, but he hoped he could answer it.

“How?”

“Told you, don’t know. Called ‘Bit an’ found out-“

“No, I mean you,” Willow said, cutting him off. “You…Buffy saw you burst into…then the crater and…how, Spike?”

“Don’t know,” Spike said, looking away. “Some bloody game these lawyer types were tryin’ to play on Angel. One minute I was burning an’ the next I was poppin’ out the amulet in Angel’s office.”

Willow nodded, staring at Spike. It was still amazing to see him there, see the life, or unlife, that still ran through him. She thought she could see his soul in his eyes, the pain of it. Her hand moved to caress his cheek, but stopped short and she dropped her hand in her lap, twisting her fingers in a nervous gesture. Willow did not know why she had wanted to touch him again, but his shocked expression made her stop.

“So, Dawn…she sent you?” Willow asked, trying to break the tension her movement had caused.

“Yeah, she did,” Spike said, shaking himself. There was something fragile about Willow at this moment, more so then when she had been crying in the attic. It tore at him deep inside, made him want to take away all the pain her life had brought her, but he knew he could not. A part of him wished she would have touched him just a moment ago and another part told him he was being selfish. Taking the time, Spike took a good look at the girl…no, woman…in front of him. She was still so like the girl he had kidnapped and threatened when she was sixteen.

“’Bit called a little over a year ago an’ asked me to look into it. Was afraid for you.”

“A year ago?” Willow asked, surprised. “It’s taken you that long?”

“Well, ‘S not like you’re an easy bird to find,” Spike said defensively. “Plus, had Blue taggin’ ‘long with me.”

Willow did not know if she should be upset or pleased with herself that it took Spike over a year to locate her. She had not tried very hard to hide her trail. After all, Willow had not even changed her name.

“Illyria, what is she? Why does she look like Fred?” Willow asked. The woman still gave her chills that cried ‘danger’.

“Was Fred. ‘S a long story, but this twit she worked with decided to bring his god back and Texas got infected. Illyria took over her body. Tried to get some help from ‘ole Rupert, but didn’t happen. Anyways, now we’ve got our own god.”

It was too much and Willow’s head began to spin. She had missed so much. Moreover, Giles, he had known about Fred and still had not helped her? She felt anger at Giles for the first time in years before remembering she could not lecture him because he was gone. Grief hit hard again and she blinked back tears. If she had been around, maybe Willow would have been able to help. There might have been something she could have done to save Fred from her fate.

“I’m sorry,” Willow said softly. It did not change the fact that Fred was gone, but she felt she owed the memory of the woman at least that much. Willow had liked Fred, and considered her a friend.

They sat in the living room of Susan and Steve’s winter home, the children put to bed, and talked. Susan picked up the books Willow had dropped and looked through them. At first, she had thought they were nothing more than fictional stories, scary and horror filled as they were, until she had reached mention of Willow. The stories were real, yet they were surreal, and Susan did not know what to make of them. She came down the stairs, books in hand, and saw Steve sitting talking animatedly to Illyria while Spike and Willow sat apart from them, having a quiet conversation of their own.

Spike was the first to notice Susan come down the stairs, her face pale and drawn, and Giles’ diaries in her hands. Willow followed his gaze and looked wide eyed from Susan to the books and back. Standing up, Willow walked to Susan and reached out to touch her, but her friend took a frightened step backwards.

“Susan, please,” Willow pleaded.

“I don’t understand,” Susan said, her voice tight. “These things aren’t real. Why is your name in this book?”

Willow looked to Spike, begging him to help. She did not know what to do.

“What are you?” Susan asked. “Steve! Get away from her!” She cried out to her husband. He stood up and walked to his wife who clung to him.

“Susan, honey, what’s wrong? Why do you have Willow’s books?” Steve asked. He did not know what was wrong. One minute he had been discussing history with Illyria who seemed to know more about things than Steve had ever read in a book, and the next minute his wife came down from the attic in hysterics.

“Get out of my house,” Susan said, still scared. She shoved the books at Willow, careful not to touch her. “Get out now.”

“Susan, wait, what is it?” Steve asked.

“Please, just, what did you read?” Willow asked, hugging the books to her once more. Her friend, the one person that had kept her from self-destructing was tossing her out.

“You…you killed…,” Susan said, trailing off. She could not bring herself to say the words. “Just get out.”

That had been the one thing Willow had not wanted Susan to read. And there it was now, out in the open. Nodding, Willow turned and ran out of the house.


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