To Be Loved: Chapter two
by WayWard Childe
Title: To Be Loved
Disclaimer: See previous chapter.
Notes: A week after chapter one.
CHAPTER TWO:
It’s been a long week at Casa de Summers. Cordelia moved in with Willow, Tara, Dawn, and Spike. Claiming that she wanted to be there for Dawn. Back when she lived in Sunnydale, Dawn and her were great friends, they’d talk about boys and the latest fashions, or at least that’s how they remember it. And Cordelia said.
“If I remember us being friends, then were friends.”
“But.” Dawn started to protest, but Cordelia interrupted her.
“No buts missy. And don’t you frown at me, it causes wrinkles and if you think Cordelia Chase is going to be friends with some brooding wrinkly teenager, well you’ve got another thing coming. I already deal with too much brooding from mister mopey pants.”
To that Spike snorted, till Cordelia said.
“I was talking about you Bleach boy.”
Spike’s snort turned into a scowl as he mumbled something about “Sulking is not brooding.” And for the first time since her sister died, Dawn giggled.
Although Cordelia admitted only to herself mind you, that Dawn was not the only reason she decided to move with them instead of Angel. The odd vampire that cried in her lap fascinated her. Although she was still wary of Spike, she couldn’t help but be drawn in and try to help him and Dawn. And ever since she started living with them, both of them have slowly started to come out of their shells.
Morning at Casa de Summers.
Spike woke to the smell of badly brewed coffee and off key humming. A rare smile crosses his lately grim face as he heard the enthusiasm in Cordelia’s steps, as she tried to fix breakfast for everyone.
Spike shook his head, ‘Should leave breakfast to Glenda.’ Spike thought. A smirk replaced his rare grin as he thought, ‘Maybe the cheerleader’s just trying to poison us all out of pity.’
Soon the smirk melted and the grim mask returned, as the dreams of the previous night unleashed.
‘Should have been faster, should have been smarter.’ He keeps telling himself.
Last night he dreamed she died, it seems even in dreams he wasn’t fast enough or smart enough anymore. Although the oddest thing happened, she got back up and was talking to him. Now the voice seems so far away, he can’t even remember what she said. Spike gripped his sheets, ‘Was she blaming me? I don’t need anyone else to blame I already know that I failed.’ But then Spike thought about it, ‘She didn’t seem angry with me in the dream. Bloody hell WHAT DID SHE SAY!’ he screamed in his mind as he rested his head on his hands.
Soon the smell of blood made it’s way to Spike’s nose and the grin came back. Spike got up and put on his shirt and pants and made his way slowly to the top of the basement steps. Spike opened the door slowly and saw Cordelia putting cinnamon in his blood. Quietly he tried to make a break for the living room.
“Sit down, Vamp-boy.” Cordelia said in a cheery yet commanding voice.
Spike sleepily made his way to the kitchen table and mumbled a “Morning, cheerleader.”
She smiled at him and passed him a mug of blood with cinnamon in it. “Morning Spike.”
Spike took a big gulp of his mug and smiled at Cordelia.
“I knew you’d appreciate the cinnamon. Lord of the brood said it was a waste of time.” Said finished with a huff.
Spike rolled his eyes, “Captain forehead is just a gluten for self-punishment.” Spike began to imitate Angel, “If all those people I murdered a hundred years ago can’t eat, then neither shall I! Now I’m off to the store, I need more nancy boy hair gel!”
Cordelia chuckled at Spike’s antics and returned to stove. Spike took another gulp of his mug and grimaced. ‘Bloody Angel, why couldn’t I just say it sucks and move on. Maybe because she has a nice rack. Lots of girls have nice racks and I’m not nice to them. Well, maybe you like her. Oh shut your gob! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m in love with Buffy! But Buffy wasn’t in love with you. Shut up. She never gave you that crumb. Shut up. She never would have loved you back. Shut up! It doesn’t matter now because she’s DEAD!’
“Shut up!” Spike yelled out loud as he slammed the on the table. It shattered and cut zig zags in his hand. Cordelia whirled around startled.
With her hand over her heart she yelled, “Jesus! Bleach wonder, what’s your malfunction!”
Spike stared numbly at the cuts on his hand as Willow came rushing into the kitchen. “Sorry.” He said blankly. “Bad thoughts.”
Spike got up and started to clean the mess, but Willow put a hand on his wrist.
“Why don’t you go clean up your hand. I’ll clean this mess.” Willow said softly.
Spike nodded solemnly and left the room without saying goodbye.
Cordelia got two rags and handed one to Willow, they both lapsed into silence as they started cleaning.
“Will he be alright?” Cordelia asked.
“I hope so.”
“When did we start caring about monsters?” Cordelia wondered out loud.
Willow thinks of Spike trying to make a scared and worried Tara feel better. “I don’t know any monsters, Cordy, do you?”
Cordelia thought about Spike sitting alone weeping, away from the others eyes, nothing to gain, no sympathy to be earned.
“No, I don’t know any monsters either.”
Several hours later, Living room of Casa de Summers…
Team Angel and The Scoobies were scattered around the living room, waiting for Willow to give them their orders. Her and Giles have been formulating patrolling strategies for the last two weeks. The Scoobies have taken their time to mourn and now their getting back into the game.
Willow clasped her hands together, “Ok, here’s the deal. Angel, Spike, Gunn, Wesley, Giles, Xander, and myself are patrolling. The rest stay here and look after Dawnie, ok?”
Everyone nodded. Cordelia wanted to protest, but soon she weighed her options. ‘Demon gunk on new shoes, or baby-sit Dawn? Hmm lets do the one where it ruins my new shoes.’ She thinks sarcastically.
“Ok.” Willow continues. “Teams are; Angel and Wesley, Gunn and Spike.” She paused, “Is that ok with you two?”
Spike who was sprawled in the corner of the couch simply looked over at Gunn. “Can you hold your own?”
Gunn looked at Spike like he was sizing him up, “Hold a lot more then my own.”
Spike grinned, “Good, I don’t need any gits I got to look after like the whelp here.” He said nodding his head toward Xander.
“Hey! I’m a very valuable member of this team, Bleach boy!”
Spike gave a short laugh, Cordelia snorted, and Angel chuckled.
Xander looked at all three of them. “What! I am!”
Spikes smirked, “Sure whelp, whatever you say. By the way, Bleach boy’s become a term of endearment around this house so try a new one.” His eyes briefly flashed towards Cordelia.
“Whatever you say fangless.”
Spike grinned in his mind; he’s been waiting for Xander to call him fangless, after a little talk with Willow one night. Spike had the perfect come back.
“I may be fangless, but at least I was never Dracula’s butt monkey.”
Angel’s Irish accent came back full force when he asked, “He was Vlad’s butt boy?”
Spike smirked and nodded. Angel had to cough to cover his very unmanly giggle.
“What…how..who…?” Xander sputtered. “Who told you!?”
Suddenly Willow looked very meek and guilty. “So Xand, oatmeal or chocolate chip?”
Anya patted Xander’s arm sympathetically. “It’s ok Xander, your only my butt boy now.
Xander looked horrified, Spike looked curious. “Anya! What! Huh?” Xander sputtered.
“Oh you know sweety, every other night we use the strap-“ Xander clamps his hand over Anya’s mouth.
“How about both, Wills.” He said while glaring at the two chuckling vampires and one laughing ex-cheerleader.
Willow was blushing furiously from Anya’s omission as she continued on with patrolling partners. “Ok, Xander, Giles, and myself will patrol with the Buffybot.”
Cordelia’s nose momentarily scrunched up in disgust as she thought about the Buffybot. All of the faith she put into Spike the night he cried in her lap died the next day when she discovered the Buffybot and why it was made. It wasn’t till later that night when it malfunctioned and said something sexual about Spike, did Cordelia’s opinion change back. As soon as the words washboard abs passed through the bot’s lips she saw Spike cringe in disgust. And Yeah! She new he deserved to feel disgusted with himself, but the fact that he did. The fact that a soulless creature that should not feel that emotion or any other besides hate, felt it. Spike did feel sorrow, and perhaps even felt love. Spike was something unique, and she was beginning to understand that.
Cemetery…
Spike and Gunn were hunting the cemetery grounds. Hunting, not patrolling, because that’s what it was to them. Gunn was totally into his mission tonight, but Spike on the other hand…
‘She does have nice breasts. Bloody hell! Shut up will you! I’m not blind, so you don’t have to tell me about the chit’s breasts. There’s more then one way to be blind, William. What the bloody ‘ell does that mean!’ Spike shouted into his mind. Before the voice could respond, Spike felt vampires.
“Vampires.” He said in a low voice, loud enough for Gunn to hear.
“How many?” He whispered back as he came up to Spike’s side.
“Six.”
Gunn nodded and griped his ax even tighter. The six vampires step out of the shadows in a group.
“You gotta plan?” Gunn asked.
Spike nodded, “Yeah.” Spike then vamped out and charged the group. About five feet away from the group he propelled himself into the air and dove at them like a vampire kamikaze.
Gunn smiled and said, “Now that’s the boy you take to a party.” Before charging at the group himself.
An hour later, unknown bar…
Gunn chuckled as he took another gulp of his beer. “You got some thrill issues, Dawg.”
Spike smirked, “Yeah.” Spike gave a short laugh. “You want to know the real reason Angel hates me? I had us kicked out of every major city in Europe. Couldn’t stay in a place more then a week before we had a mob after us.”
Gunn shook his head, “Man, Angel would never do anything like that, always planning and having a strategy. Not that theirs anything wrong with that, but sometimes I just want to roll in and hit stuff you know what I mean?”
Spike nodded and gulped his beer. “Yeah I know exactly what you mean. Stupid ponce always had to do things with finesse. Maybe I’ll leave the fight with a few extra bruises, but I’ll still leave the fight.”
Gunn nodded in agreement right before they both slipped into a comfortable silence. Gunn never thought in a million years that he would be sitting in a bar with a vampire like they were old buddies. But their was something about the vampire, something he wouldn’t of seen if it wasn’t for that girl Dawn. Gunn didn’t think he would be there sitting with him at all if it wasn’t for his first night in Sunnydale.
Spike lit up a cigarette, “Sorry about your sister.”
Gunn’s head turned sharply towards Spike, “What?”
Spike face was more serious and his showed his age as he explained. “Demon grapevine, kid. One Charles Gunn, hunting demons since the age of twelve, didn’t rightly make a name for himself till the age of fifteen when he constructed a small vampire hunting army. Had to stake his own sister, know how that feels.”
“Really?” Gunn asked gruffly.
Spike nodded, “Had to stake me own mum.”
Gunn looked stunned. Not exactly the answer he was expecting.
“She was sick and I thought turning her would be some magical cure. I mean I felt more alive then I ever felt after being turned. So I turned her and for a moment…for a moment she looked and talked and sounded just like my mum. Then…she wasn’t.” Spike paused and it gave Gunn time to think about his sister and how it seemed like her one moment, but the next she was completely different.
Looking straight ahead, Spike lowered his beer and snubbed out his cigarette. “Never told anyone about that before.”
Gunn also looking straight ahead, “Not many who’d understand.”
Casa de Summers, The next day at noon…
Spike and Dawn were sitting on the couch watching passions; Dawn curled and snuggled into his side. Cordelia came into the living and looked upon them a small smile, a smile that soon faded when she saw what was on TV.
“You watch Passions?” She was incredulous.
“Yeah.” Spike responded gruffly. “What of it?”
Cordelia not taking her eyes off the TV sat down on one of the chairs. “Is Timmy out of the well yet?”
“Not yet.”
Cordelia nodded and turned to Spike. “Spike?”
“hmm?”
“Me, Gunn, Willow, and Tara are going to the bronze tonight and we were wondering if you’d like to come with us.”
“No.”
“Oh come on, you can’t stay cooped up all the time.”
“Can too, and I’m not cooped up all the time. I was out last night.”
“You were out last night killing demons. You need to do something fun.”
“Killing is fun!” Spike exclaims as Dawn giggles at his excitement.
Cordelia rolled her eyes, “Listen here, Bucko! Tonight your going to the bronze and your going to have fun with no killing involved. If I’m going to be seen with you, you’re going to have to stop moping so now it’s fun time.”
“If I stay here then you won’t have to be seen with me at all.” He sneered.
Cordelia raised an eyebrow and ignored his outburst. “If I must be seen with you in public then you’ve got to be presentable. Now look here buster, you’re going tonight and that’s that.” She finished with a huff and walked out of the living room with her head held high.
Spike turns back to the TV screen and star rubbing Dawn’s back a little. “She’s cheeky.”
Dawn nodded but said nothing as she turned back to the TV. A wave of sadness seemed to hit her, but it went unnoticed by Spike.
Several hours later, a block away from the bronze.
Spike, Gunn, Cordelia, Fred, Willow, and Tara were all walking towards the bronze.
“So this is the bad part of town?” Gunn asked confused.
“Yup.” Came Willow’s chipper reply.
Gunn looked around at the clean streets and the nice will kept stores, nothing like the shops with faded signs and barred up windows of his old neighborhood.
“Ok, so where’s the good part of town?”
“Oh,” Spike spoke up, “It’s over there, past that stop sign.” Spike’s leather clad arm pointed to a stop sign about a street down from the bronze.
“What makes it any different?” Gunn asked.
“Oh! Oh! It has a coffee shop!” Willow said enthusiastically.
“Ah…coffee shop?”
“Oh yeah, it’s the best. They make the best latte’s.” Willow continued enthusiastically with Tara nodding her head vigorously.
“Oh the joys of living in a small town.” Cordelia muttered.
Bronze
Gunn and Cordelia were dancing their hearts out down on the Bronze’s dance floor, while Spike, Willow, Tara, and Fred were all content to just sit. It felt too soon for Willow and Tara, Spike never did dance at the bronze so he settled to get drunk and Fred was doing her best not to jump out of her skin.
“Well this was a bust.” Cordelia said as she danced with Gunn.
“Yeah, Cordy but their friend just died a couple weeks ago. Your friend too.” Gun said.
“I know.” She sighed. “And Buffy was my friend, we just weren’t as close and I just want to help them-”
“Spike.” Gunn corrected.
“Huh?”
“You want to help Spike. Not the rest of them, just Spike.”
“Maybe.” She replied a bit sheepishly, then more strongly, “But I help people now, and he needs help.”
“Well, Willow needs help, Tara needs help, and hell, even Angel needs help.”
“Yeah, but I can’t help them.”
“And you can help, him?” Gunn asked.
“I don’t know, maybe. I just wanted him to have some fun.”
“Well last night on patrol he seemed to have fun.”
“All you did was kill things.” Cordelia sad with her nose scrunched up in confusion.
“Yeah? Killings fun.” Gunn said casually, an amused but faint audible snort could heard shortly after.
Cordelia briefly looked towards the table Spike was sitting at before looking back at Gunn.
“Men.” She muttered with a shake of her head.
A squealing screech followed by the sound of broken glass and feminine scream could be heard in the back of the bronze.
Gunn and Cordelia look towards the back.
“What the…” Gunn started but was interrupted by a flock of flying monkeys.
“Duck!” Cordelia screamed. She and Gunn hit the floor just moments before the flying monkeys zoomed by. Gunn and Cordelia crawled over to the table where Spike, Willow, Tara, and Fred were sitting. Now there all on their stomachs on the ground, Fred and Tara were under the table.
“Are those flying monkeys?” Gunn asked as he reached the table.
“Welcome to the soddin’ Hellmouth, mate.”
“Home sweet home.” Cordelia adds dryly.
Spike grunted and shot up quick with a chair in his hand, he pulled back the chair and was about to hit a one of the monkey’s when he heard.
“Oh! Don’t hurt the monkeys.” Willow yelled out in the same child like voice she used when Giles was driving the camper.
Spike lowered the chair and looked at Willow incredulously.
“What!”
“Please don’t hurt the monkeys.”
Before Spike could reply a monkey flew by and made a tear on the back of his leather duster.
“Bloody hell!” Spike yelled, “My jacket!”
Willow looked dejected and said to herself, “Bye, bye monkeys.”
Spike picked up his chair and looked down towards Gunn.
“Come on, Charlie boy, wouldn’t want you to miss the fun.”
Gunn grinned and pulled himself up, he soon grabbed a chair.
“Got a plan?”
Spike shook his head, “No.” Spike then grinned wickedly, “Ain’t it grand?” The Spike jumped into the chaos, with a grinning Gunn quickly following.
10 minutes later…
“Bloody hell! Get it off my face, get it off my face!”
30 minutes later…
“Aw hell no, that better not be doing to that my leg!”
5 minutes later…
“Oh come on you soddin furby with wings, don’t hide, it’s just a CHAIR! Ow! Little bugger bit me! Come here!”
30 Minutes later, Casa De Summers…
“Now that was a good night on the town, cheerleader.” Spike said cheerfully as he opened the door and swaggered into the house.
Xander and Anya both looked up.
“What happened?” Xander asked curiously as he looked over the grinning yet bruised and cut vampire.
“We got attacked by flying monkeys.” Willow said with big eyes.
Xander got up and started to bounce with child like excitement. “Like the ones in the Wizard of Oz?”
“Yep.” Willow nodded.
“So, what happened?”
Willow playfully hit Spike’s arm, “Meanie vamp head over here killed them all.” She said with a pout.
Xander turned and looked at Spike, half anger half humor glinting his eyes. “You couldn’t have kept one alive?!”
“What the soddin hell are you on about, doughboy?”
Cordelia rolled her eyes, “Ever since Xander was a kid he a wanted a pet flying monkey. Blah, Blah, Blah he’s a loser, end of story.”
“Hey!” Willow, Xander, and a now standing Anya yelled in unison. Spike just chuckled at Cordelia’s blunt description.
Anya walked up to Cordelia about giver her a piece of her mind when she suddenly got distracted.
“Oh!” She said when she saw the rip in Spike’s coat. “Did the flying monkey’s do that?” She asked as she pointed to the rip.
Spike nodded distractedly only half paying attention as he looked around for Dawn.
Anya nodded to herself, “They lowered the resell value of your coat. I completely understand and approve your extermination of the flying monkeys.” Anya said as she both awkwardly and sincerely patted Spike’s arm.
Cordelia’s eye’s flared for a second when she saw Anya patting Spike’s arm, but her eyes quickly went back to normal and she shook it off.
“Come on.” She said as she gently pushed Spike towards the kitchen.
Spike opens the door, pulls out a chair and plops down. He spreads his arms wide and looks up towards Cordelia.
“I’m all yours. How do you want me, princess?” Spike asked with a suggestive leer.
Cordelia rolled her eyes with a friendly smile on her face, blatantly ignoring the butterflies in her stomach.
“Dork.” She retorted as she got out first aid kit.
She pulled out the gauze and started to clean the cuts on his face.
“So how was your night filled with killing?” She asked casually.
“Fun. Your night of dancing?”
“Fun, till the killing.”
He smiled sadly at her, “Don’t really like it here. Do you, princess?”
“And you do?”
Spike shrugs, “It’s home.”
Cordelia looked at Spike as if he were crazy. “Every bad thing possible has happened to you here! Drusilla left you, you got stuck in a wheel chair, and you got a chip stuck in you head. Among other things, how could you like it here?”
“Never said I liked it, just said it’s home. Drusilla once told me that the best thing to ever happen to me would happen here. She may have been off her nut, but she was never wrong.”
“So that’s why you kept coming back.”
His eyes darkened for a bit, “ S’not the only reason, but yeah.”
Cordelia didn’t ask what the other reason was as she quietly cleaned his wounds.
A few minutes later, Basement.
Spike walked down the steps to his cot when he noticed some one was sitting on it.
“Nibblet?” Spike inquired to the still form.
Dawn looked up, her somber expression on lightening up upon hearing his voice.
“Hey Spike.” She said quietly.
Spike took off his coat and laid it down. He took off his boots and shirt and walked over to his cot.
“Going to stay here, pet?” He asked gently.
“Yeah, that’s ok right?”
Spike smiled, “Always.”
Spike slid under his covers and lifted the blanket for Dawn. She slid in and burrowed herself into Spike’s cool chest.
“Spike.” She mumbled sleepily.
“Yeah?”
“You loved Buffy, right?”
Spike was startled by her question, but answered anyways. “Of course! Bloody hell nibblet, what kind of question is that?”
She shrugged a little bit and didn’t reply.
“I bloody loved your sister, nibblet. She was my goddess, my golden light. She was a reason to live. Now you’re my reason to live, and don’t you forget that. Because without you I’d be walking outside at sunrise. You remember that ok?”
Dawn snuggled deeper into Spike’s chest, a light smile gracing her lips. “Ok.”
TBC….
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