Behind Blue Eyes: Giles Thinks Too Much
by Chaucer
Giles looked happily out at the milling crowd of people that had filled the Espresso Pump in his ten minute break from singing. His time was almost up, but it had been a good night. He eagerly tuned his guitar one last time, satisfied that Buffy, Willow, and Xander were still nowhere to be seen. He loved them all, but somehow he couldn’t see them understanding his love of performing. His excuse of wanting some alone “grown-up time” at the Pump seemed flimsy even to him, and he could tell that the trio had only half believed him. It was easier for him to let the side of him that wasn’t all English librarian out when they weren’t around, though. Buffy especially seemed to need the stability that his role brought, and shattering it wasn’t exactly what Giles wanted to do. Almost done, he thought, carefully rechecking his tuning work.
Music was his underground passion; it was a last trapping of his wild younger years that he wanted to keep. While it was true that his primary fortes involved researching, and of course, books, singing was one where he could be just as powerful and definitely more expressive. Jenny would have loved to see this side of me, Giles thought ruefully, a small smile on his angular face. He hadn’t meant to turn these nights of theoretical freedom into nights of musing about Jenny, but somehow she seemed to fit in perfectly with his environment. All of the people who frequented the Espresso Pump reminded him of her- vibrant, savvy with their technological toys and knowledge, and exceedingly cool until something, or someone, moved them. Jenny had never seen the side of him that that crowd was seeing night after night, the side that wasn’t all Earl Grey tea and obscure Latin books; Giles knew she would have enjoyed it. She would have definately hammered him with some of her trademark sarcasm, but that had- good Lord, had- just meant that she was pleased. Giles’s mind was wandering into a far off region that he had vowed never to go to again. He inhaled, forcing all thoughts of Jenny from his brain. He would take anything from her if he could only see her again.
Giles sat back down on the squishy swivel chair, facing his chatting audience. He didn’t hush them; instead, he simply began to sing. Giles closed his sage green eyes and started softly. The people ceased their talking and listened appreciatively.
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
He opened his eyes before singing the rest and let them roam from face to face. Some of the women had dreamy expressions on their faces. That always amused him to no end. His gaze fell to the back of the Espresso Pump and he recognized four familiar faces. Giles did a visible double take. It was Tara, Willow, Xander, and Anya. What are they doing here? He blinked obliviously, but continued the song, ignoring them for the moment and pretending he hadn’t seen them.
Behind blue eyes
No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
Xander was staring in abject shock, his mouth comically agape. Willow was looking at Giles in a sultry way, which did unsettle him. In fact, all three young women, Tara, Willow, and even the ex-demon Anya, were gazing at him in a way that made him feel extremely uncomfortable. He could handle lust from women his own age, but from people who were more than twenty years his junior, it was plain awkward.
To be telling only lies
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
Giles studied Anya, Willow, and Tara’s faces. They were completely riveted. Xander, on the other hand, was gesturing hurriedly. Maybe something really was wrong. Why else would they have sought him out? Giles sighed. Either way, they knew the truth about “grown-up time.” Felling extremely resigned, he only sang louder and more passionately, knowing that after he was done he would have to leave.
No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through
Giles frowned as Xander’s expressions became more exaggerated and alternately sullen then amazed. Maybe I should cut the song short, he thought practically. There’s absolutely no way that those four would just randomly seek me out in order to hear me sing. He eyed Willow again and caught himself. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t continue. The redhead was nodding in time to his singing, her short hair bobbing along with the rest of her. Xander crossed his arms and glared insolently at Giles. Then he turned to say something to Willow.
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
“No wonder I used to have such a crush on him,” Willow sighed, a look of longing in her doe-like eyes.
Xander stared at Willow. “What do you mean, you had a crush on him?” He asked, his voice cracking. “Giles is, no offense, like ancient! Don’t raise the trauma factor higher, Will!” He opened and closed his mouth a few times like a fish out of water. She had a crush on him? That’s just a little scary.
“Does he, um, do this often?” Tara asked, in her shy, gentle voice. Her mild azure eyes were shining and wide.
“Yeah, when the sky turns orange and the world stops spinning,” Xander said, alarmed. “This is traumatizing.”
“His voice is... pleasant,” Anya agreed with Willow, mesmerized. Her entire face was lit. Xander gave her a horrorstruck look, and then turned his attention to Giles again, willing him to acknowledge them.
When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool
“So, he’s actually gonna finish,” Xander said, helplessly. “Meanwhile I’m stuck with three swooning females. One of which, might I remind her, is my girlfriend.”
“Oh, Xander,” Anya said almost soothingly, in her blunt way, “We can have sex later. But I want to listen to this song while we do it, okay?” Her bright brown eyes never left Giles’s face. Xander covered his eyes with a hand.
“Whatever you say, An,” he muttered. Willow and Tara exchanged amused expressions.
“I never did like The Who very much,” Xander said, under his breath.
If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat
No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
The coffeehouse erupted into cheers. Giles grinned blushingly, and hurriedly packed up his guitar. “Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you very much.” He stumbled his way through to the back where Xander, Anya, Willow, and Tara were standing a little awkwardly, avoiding the lascivious glances of more than a few females.
“So, G-Man,” Xander said loudly. “When were you going to share that little bit of fun with the rest of the group?”
“I thought I told you never to call me that. “Xander shrugged; he crossed his arms lackadaisically. “Perhaps when the rest of the group was able to share the fun,” Giles retorted acidly. “Now, we both know that you aren’t here for no reason. What’s going on?”
“It’s Buffy,” Willow began.
“And Riley. They’re having... well, they are in trouble,” Tara added helpfully. Willow smiled at her with a tender little grin, knowing fully that a month ago, Tara wouldn’t have even dared to speak a coherent phrase in front of Giles. It wasn’t the first time Giles had noticed such subtle, sweet signals between the two Wiccans, but he pushed the observation to the back of his mind.
“What about them?” Giles pressed anxiously, as they headed out into the mild night. “Are they all right?”
“Well, yes and no,” Xander said matter-of-factly. “They’re having sex. Hot steamy sex.” Willow rolled her eyes at Xander as Giles stopped dead in his tracks, hissing exasperatedly like an angry cat. “And-“
“They’re having sex, so you came to get me? What am I, their health teacher?” Giles asked, his voice brimming with sarcasm.
“They’re having sex in a possessed house. Only the house wasn’t possessed when they first... started. They don’t even really notice what’s going on around them,” Anya said brightly. “At least, I don’t think they do. That’s bad, right? Oh. And we don’t know how to get them out. The house won’t let us in to get them out. And you know, since you’re like the super smart, stuffy Watcher man...”
“Thank you, Anya,” Giles said from between his teeth, both amused and slightly affronted at the same time.
“So, where do we start?” Anya prodded, blinking and looking innocently from face to face.
“With the origins of the house, I should think,” Giles said, thoughtfully, going uncontrollably full on into what the Scoobies called ‘research mode.’ Xander watched Giles expectantly.
“Yay?” He ventured, questioningly. “Like, as in, was it built over any sex- god-demon sacred sites? Or did a whole bunch of horny frat guys have a drunken orgy and then like drop dead of... of... uh, syphilis, sixty years ago on the house’s basement floor? Or, my all time favorite: the house is just mad that it can’t have sex, so it’s trying to eat Buffy and Riley because they’re having sex?”
Willow and Tara blinked and looked at the ground almost in unison. Anya, however, rewarded Xander with a sunny smile. “Xander, you’re so creative,” she said, glowingly, hugging his arm. Xander melted like a lovesick puppy, his cheeks dimpling.
“Something like that,” Giles said, haltingly. It’s going to be a long night. But as much as he hated to admit it at times, he loved working with this group. They might as well be his family, and collectively they had forged an unlikely bond that would carry them through the worst and best of times. He would die for them if it was necessary, no doubt about that. But he’d much rather have to live with them and put up with them to be their friend and guide.
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