Remembrance: 18
by Selene
As his teeth sank in she felt her body spasm against his. Her arms twined around his head pulling him in tightly. She couldn’t get close enough. Her nipples were instantly hard and brushing against the hard planes of his chest. Her head was tossed back. Her mouth open and gasping for air. A low moan poured out. The first sting of his teeth tearing into her flesh had faded and waves of pleasure were pulsing through her. She ground her hips against the hard bulge in his pants. It had never felt so good. Her hands slipped into his platinum hair pulling it slightly in her need. Out of nowhere it hit her like a ton of bricks. She came so hard. She felt like she was going to pass out. There was ringing in her ears and her heart was beating furiously as she writhed against him.

Spike he felt her hands buried in his hair holding on tight. His mouth closed over the wound and he felt his fangs descend into her neck. His body was a whirlwind of sensation. The pain in his side was throbbing and aching while the pleasure from the blood was swirling down his throat and flowing out to the rest of his body. It was like his whole world began and ended at the touch of his lips on her. He was reeling from the combined effect of her sudden appearance and the heady draught of her blood. His arms wrapped around her moving up and down over the expanse of her back. He could smell her arousal. He was drowning in it. He began murmuring endearments against her neck, “I missed you, luv... can’t stay away... forever... I will love you... forever...” He knew that she was close. He slipped his hands down to grab her ass and pulled her up tighter against him. The combined pressure of her thrusts and his own grinding brought them both over the edge.

She heard him growl out his satisfaction burying his teeth deeper for a second. The second onslaught of his teeth sent jolts of pleasure pain through her body and she moaned softly as she came again.She ran her hand along his cheek just reassuring herself that he was really here... with her. The sound of his voice broke through her contented state of mind.

“Buffy, luv, are you alright?”

She glanced up at him still dazed. Damn, I forgot how quick his recovery time is. Just to reinforce her point she felt him harden against her hip. Her eye widened and she felt her body aching for him. Then she noticed all of these strange people looking at her. ‘Hello bucket of cold water. My name is Buffy!’

He felt her stiffen up and tried to make her feel more at ease. In her ear he whispered, “They never even noticed, pet. Too busy with the watcher-boy over there.” He lied easily.

Everyone was studiously not looking their way. She glanced around so embarrassed. She had publically just very vocally announced that they were together Her body still tingled from the after effects of his bite. She knew that everyone had seen but the funny thing was that she didn’t care. She was so happy that she was here in his arms. It didn’t matter what they thought... Well maybe it was more than a little bit embarrassing but it was worth it. She wasn’t going to deny the relationship or what he meant to her any longer. She knew what she wanted. Him.

She realized that one way or another it had always been about him. Such strong feelings were so hard to deny. But denial was her middle name. Almost losing him had been the worst and best thing that had happened to her. It made her realize with clarity how much he really meant to her. He was her everything. Her best friend and lover all wrapped up in one. Her soulmate.

Thinking about souls always made her feel wistful. She had wasted so much time.Her stubborn belief that he couldn’t love her without one was brought on by the whole Angel/Angelus period of her life. If she had never been with him she would have never thought that Spike couldn’t love her without having a soul. Angel had shown her how much of a difference having a soul could make on him. Admitting to herself that Spike had been basically the same as he had been without one had been one of the more difficult things that she had ever done. It showed her the fact that the relationship that she had with Angel was based on a lie. True love just didn’t disappear. It was always there and sometimes it burned.

She looked up into Spike eyes and felt tears well up in her own. “Spike,” her breath hitched. She took a deep breath to calm herself down. “Why didn’t you call me? Tell me that you were alive?”

This was the last thing that he expected her to do. A soft question asked with hope (and love?) shining in her eyes. He felt ashamed. Confused. “Buffy, luv, I wanted to ring you. Believe me it was always on my mind. When I came back... Well, I came back as a ghost. I was surrounded by the great poof and his friends. The first thing that I thought about was you.” He paused waiting to gauge her reaction. She nodded her head encouraging him to go on.

“And to try and figure out how to get my bloody body back. I was stuck here for a while with no way to contact you... Angel wouldn’t fill me in on your recent whereabouts and that made me worry that you might need me. Then I figured that no matter what a stupid git Angel could be at times... he wouldn’t let anything happen to you if he could help it. Then it happened. The phones went all wonky and I got my body back. No explanation... I don’t right know who to thank and all but I was so happy. I had figured out where you were at and started off when all this rumblin’ happened. The building was about to come down on us. It seems there is a clause about two vampires with souls fightin’ the good fight. The scales were tipped and were trying to right themselves. So I was stuck here again. I couldn’t leave until this was all sussed out...”

He continued in a low whisper, “To tell you the truth, Buffy, I was terrified to call you. Now that I had my body back and I could physically do it...too much time had gone by and I started to wonder if ringing you would remind you of things that were better left buried. That maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. I desperately wanted to and I stopped myself a dozen times a day... I’m such a wanker!” He ran his hand through his hair and averted his gaze.

She reached up and stroked his cheek to get him to continue. “No you aren’t... I just wished you would have called...”

He took an unnecessary breath and paused for a moment. When he spoke his voice was so low she strained to hear it. “Peaches and I went to Italy to take care of some business. I saw you there... with him.” No name was needed to explain who he was. “You had made a better life for yourself. You were so happy. I couldn’t... You have a chance now. A clean slate. You can be free. You can do what you want with your life. I didn’t want to muck it up with mine. I want you to be happy, luv...”

He saw a storm brewing in her eyes. She was breathing hard another sign that she was all worked up. She exploded. “I am going to kill myself! No I am going to kill you and then I am going to kill myself! You are making me crazy! What were the last words that came out of my mouth in the cavern? Hello! I love you! Doesn’t that mean anything to you? I know I am not the best at saying things like that... But I don’t think that I can get much clearer.” She started to jab him in the chest with each word. I..” (jab) “love...” (jab) “YOU!” (with a double jab for emphasis).She let out an inarticulate noise and stamped her foot. “This isn’t how I wanted to tell you AGAIN that I love you.” She stared at him with her heart in her eyes pleading that he would believe her this time.

He wasn’t a fool. He didn’t have to be told twice... Well actually he did. He wasn’t about to waste anymore time. “Buffy you know it was always you, right?” His head tilted at an angle as he searched her eyes once more. Both of them had been through so much and wanted this so bad to rush it this time. He tried to warn her off one more time, “I just couldn’t assume that you would want me waltzing back into your life again. I am never going to be an easy fit, luv. I want you to have it all. Things that I can’t give you. Sunshine... and picnics.. and all that bleedin’ stuff...”

“Ohhh... Spike. I have had all of that. What I want is you.”

That was all it took. He crushed her to him.His mouth fastened on hers. In between kisses he whispered, “Buffy... I’ll never leave you... I love you.” He felt her return his embrace. They were nearly crushing each other with the intensity of their need.

It looked like everyone was about to get another eyeful.

A/N: What? I wrote a spuffy only chapter? *GASP* Please review. I need it!

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