Shadow: The Memories
by SpuffyLover4Ever
Buffy’s alarm went off, and she jumped as she woke. She let out a deep sigh and sat up. She looked at a 8x10 photo of her in wedding dress and Spike in a tux. She turned and looked at the other side of the bed. It looked like nobody had been there.


Your body’s warm, but you are not.
You give a little not a lot,
You couldn’t love until we kissed,
You’re all I want,
But not like this.


She went in the bathroom and there was a bottle of Calvin Klien cologne and a wet towel on the floor. She blinked and they were gone. She shook her head and went into the walk in closet, and she saw all of his clothes. Even the blue shirt he wore only once. There were shoes his favorite Doc Martens and jackets. Plus his trademark duster. She rubbed her face and looked at the closet once more. The things she saw were gone…all but the duster which had a gray tone to it, because of the dust that was collected on it. There all of the sudden was a shadow that moved across the back wall. She turned around to see what was there.
“Spike?” She said hopefully. Nobody was there.


I’m watching you disappear,
But you, you were never here.
It’s only your shadow,
Never yourself
It’s only your shadow
Nobody else
It’s only you shadow filling the room
Arriving to late,
And leaving too soon.
And leaving too soon.


She went downstairs and made a pot of coffee. She sat down at the table they once shared. She looked across from her and saw a transparent form off him. He started to materialize. She smiled and he began to fade away again. The sky got dark and it started to pour.


Your body gives
But then holds back
The sun is bright
The sky is black
It can only be another sign
I cannot keep what isn’t mine



It seemed that every where she went in the house all she thought about was him…….and her.
She wished she could have taken that day back. In the backyard she saw him picking her up when they had first moved into the house, and he was laughing. His smile was everything. All she wanted was to touch his cheeks once more. To hold his hand again and kiss his lips. She wanted so many things that she would never have again. Ever.


Your laughter it lingers on
But you, you were almost gone.
It’s only your shadow
Never yourself
It’s only your shadow
Nobody else
It’s only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving to late
And leaving too soon.
And leaving too soon.



Buffy continued to walk around the house as well as pick up memories of her and Spike. He always told her that he loved her. But now she questioned if he ever really had meant it. And if the soul was really for her. She had to get out of the house.



How can I tell if you mean what you say?
You say it so loud but you sound far away
Maybe I had just a glimpse of your soul
Or was that your shadow I saw on the wall?
I’m watching you disappear,
But you, you were never here
It’s only your shadow
Never yourself
It’s only your shadow
Nobody else
It’s only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving to late
And leaving too soon
And leaving too soon
Oh no, no, no
It’s only your shadow
Never yourself
It’s only your shadow
Nobody else



Buffy got out of her car and started to make her way across the giant yard that was filled with others concrete angels. She sat down in front of three headstones one with her name on it and her birth date. Another read ‘William Mack’ that of her husband. And the other ‘Angela Mack.’ Their daughter.
“I miss you guys. Why did you have to leave me so soon? And leave me by myself? I’m not doing ok. But I’ll live.” She left some flowers on both of their graves and left with tears streaming down her face.



It’s only your shadow
Filling the room
Arriving to late
And leaving too soon
Hmmmmmmm
It’s only your shadow.


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