I'm not brooding!: 1
by SciFiFan151852
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, not even Spike snivels, they belong to Joss Whedon, (grumbles, lucky man). Wait a minute though, I own the plot! Ha ha take that Joss!!!

AN: Err, not sure what this is. It's a fan fic obviously, centred on spike. He's depressed, possibly brooding (but he'd never admit it). Err… oh I don't know, just read it ok?

I'm not brooding!

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*Spike POV*

What am I doing here? It's pointless; I don't need to be here do I?

I mean, all we're doing is sitting around pretending to do research on a demon that we have no clues on whatsoever. It's bloody pointless.

Look at them all, they're pathetic. Especially the Slayer. Who does she think she is anyway? Bossing me about, dragging me here to the magic box, saying things like 'you're part of the team now; you have to help with the research'. Yeah right. I've never been part of the team. They'd actually have to like me for me to be part of the team. But it's not as if I want to be part of the team. Them with their, stupid clothes, and stupid hair, and stupid stuff, and their goofy smiles, and the way they all seem to know everything the other is thinking because they've been friends for years. Maybe if I acted a bit nicer they'd like me.

Who am I kidding? They'd never like me, they're shallow, pathetic, creatures and they can't make any friends outside their tight little circle. Pathetic, that's what they are.

Why don't I have friends like them? Oh yeah because I'm the big bad, I'm evil, I don't need friends. I don't need people telling me how much they like me, that I'm not pathetic or worthless, I don't need someone to comfort me when I feel down.

But if someone said something like that once in a while it wouldn't hurt would it?

Of course it would. You'd trust them and they'd say they'd never betray your trust, and that you'd always be friends. And then they go and screw up your life.

Damned traitors. Real friends don't exist so there's no point in trying to find them.

If you open up to people and lay your feelings out they'll just end up trampling all over them. Oh God, I sound like the poof now, don't I?

And I'm talking to myself, brilliant! Maybe Drusilla did have an effect on me after all.

Why does everyone lie?

People lie all the time. Sometimes small lies, sometimes big lies. But they all affect you. I know what the biggest lie of all is; it's also the most common.

'I'll never leave you'

Yeah right. They always say that don't they. Angelus said that, and then he took off with his shiny new accessory. Drusilla stayed then left me for a chaos demon.

So now I'm thinking I'm so pathetic that people would rather choose disgusting animals with slimy antlers.

But hey, I'm not brooding here, got it. I'm not I'm….

Buffy: "Spike?"

Me: "I'M NOT BROODING!"

Oh bloody hell.



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