Sunnydale in 60 Seconds: Sunnydale in 60 Seconds
by James Dalton
Disclaimer: Here I put the usual, Buffy and Co. don't belong to me what so ever. Sometimes I wish I had created them, but alas that didn't happen. So without further ado, onto my story (but see Author's Notes).

Author's Notes: The format of this story (the sixty second thing) came from a comic I read in the UK-published 2000 AD.

SUNNYDALE IN SIXTY SECONDS

Welcome to Sunnydale, a small Californian town that just happens to be situated right on top of a mystical vortex known as the Hellmouth. Because of this Sunnydale is home to a myriad of supernatural nasties, most common of which is the vampire. However the forces of good are also found within this town, in the form of a young girl. This very same girl is at this moment walking passed some graves up to a group of nasty looking vampires. She stops behind the vampires, watching them momentarily as they are about to feed upon several unconcious teenagers.

"Boys, times a-wasting and I really gotta warm up my stake before I get home." mutters Buffy Summers

Sit back and watch Ladies and Gentlemen, it's 11:59pm PST, and the fun's just about to begin.

11:59 and 2 seconds: Six vampires drop their meals and turn to face the small valley girl before them. They smile, bearing elongated fangs and a bad case of tooth decay.

11:59 and 5 seconds: In an abandoned church on the outskirts of town a man in black robes stands at an altar, made from the fused bones of children. He holds in his hands a black dagger, ready to plunge into the heart of a young virgin. With this done, he will be able to summon up his master, Azh'Luket the Prince of Ashes, who has been trapped within a pocket dimension for the past three centuries. The girl before him whimpers as the dagger plunges down.

11:59 and 9 seconds: A quick snapkick to the head and an uppercut to the jaw sends Julian the Carver, a vampiric cuisine expert, to the ground. His pain is momentary, for he soon finds a stake where his heart was. The rest is just dusty darkness.

11:59 and 13 seconds: Xander lies upon his bed, an island of refuge in a debris encrusted room. Somewhere in the room is a stereo playing county western music. Seems that his date with Johanna didn't go quite as he had planned. Looking on the bright side however, at least she wasn't some interdimensional entity. Dates with those sorts of women really bite - literally in some occasions.

11:59 and 20 seconds: Going for a full-on assault, Erik Mendoza, a vampire for twenty years, jabs Buffy viciously in the ribs. This is enough to wind her, but before he can get a clamp on her neck she gets a clamp on her stake. The rest is rather cliched.

11:59 and 22 seconds: Security guard, Stanely Morse, takes a seat in the museum cafe and for the thirteenth time checks his gun. Ever since the Sunnydale Museum received a collection of Egyptian sarcophagi, the nights have been plagued by the appearances of bandaged clad undead. A shame to put bullet holes in them, but it'd be worse to have an important exhibit run away. With a satisfied click the clip is locked back in place and Stan continues on with his inspection.

11:59 and 26 seconds: Being the end of the school year, hundreds of teenagers are gathered on the beach partying the night away. Walking amoung them is "Sinister" Lexington, a four hundred year old vampire who appears to be a sixteen year old boy. Thanks to his attractive features and seductive vampire charm, Sinister has found himself several snacks to feast the night away on. By the morning he will be miles away with a satisfied grin on his face.

11:59 and 31 seconds: Like a machine Buffy punishes each vampire equally. However they are too fast, as one falls another gets up, not giving her enough time for a dusting. Suddenly the blood-sucking Jack Burns leaves himself open, allowing her to plunge the stake straight into his lifeless heart. The scream is cut short as he explodes into dust.

11:59 and 38 seconds: "Dingoes Ate My Baby" are in the middle of their fifth song for the night. Right up at the front of the stage is Willow, cheering on her werewolf beau. Some distance behind her, standing at the bar with a drink in either hand is Cordelia. She had come to the Bronze with Guy Stevens, one of the hottest guys at school, now it seems that he has run out on the date. Meanwhile, in the alley behind the Bronze, Guy Stevens collapses to the ground, drained of blood by a smiling seductress. Too bad he never learnt her name.

11:59 and 43 seconds: Twin vampires, Bubba and Joey Pinazoti, die just like they were born - one after the other in quick succession. Of course, this time there is a lot of dust involved.

11:59 and 45 seconds: Amid the antique-looking decor of his house, Giles stands still looking at the box placed upon the floor. On the table beside him are seven empty tea cups, the product of a late-night stress session. If only he could work out the boxes mysteries, perhaps then something could be done. With a curse to whoever created the infernal item and a readjusting of the glasses, Giles presses the Reset button on his newly purchased PC.

11:59 and 49 seconds: Willy stands behind his bar, cleaning out several glasses. His only patron tonight is a man who appears to have eagle talons instead of feet. For a while he ponders about the man and his business in Sunnydale. But, realising that only a painful death could ever come of such ponderings, he quickly resumes his glass cleaning.

11:59 and 54 seconds: A final scream parts the lips of Dr. Mortis as his body collapses into dusty particles. With a quick word of self congratulation Buffy Summers puts her stake away and looks upon the comatose teenagers. Wondering how they got themselves into such a mess she quickly shakes them awake, before heading out of the cemetary.

11:59 and 59 seconds: A door slams shut and is locked firmly in place. Behind Janet Connors is a strange sewer beast stalking her. She shudders in terror as she hears its slimy fists beating away at the door that stands between them. Hopefully it will hold out.

12:00 am but it's not over yet: With a burst of chaotic energy a gateway opens within a derelict church on the outskirts of town; a dreary country and western folk song finishes playing; another escaped pharoah collapses to the ground, a bullet in his head; Sinister throws his third victim to the bloody sand; "Dingoes Ate My Baby" finish their fifth number; Giles successfully opens Windows 98; a talon-footed man walks out of Willy's bar; a ooze-dripping fist smashes straight through a wooden door.

And a small, blond-haired girl puts away her stake.

Now it's over.

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